Bloodlust and Synergy
by MonacoMac
Summary: Mr. Burns finds a romance/horror novel written by Smithers. Suddenly his suspicions are cemented when he finds that the two main characters bear strong resemblances to himself and Smithers. Maybe seeing his assistant in a new light could be a good thing,
1. Idol Hands

**I claim no ownership to the characters, settings or anything else related to The Simpsons universe. A non-profit fan fiction.**

**Warnings: slash, slight profanity, sex, adult situations, don't waste your time reading if you don't like Burns/Smithers love.**

* * *

**Chapter One: Idol Hands**

It was a hot, late-summer day in Springfield. Air conditioners throughout the city switched to full blast, sending the electric bills sky-high. Mr. Burns could almost hear the cash rolling in and was always so cheerful whenever this time of the year came by.

As usual, workers at the plant were goofing off leaving Smithers to pick up the slack. Being the ever-proficient worker he was, he had finished all of Burns' orders and memos hours ago. After braking up yet another game of bowling in the workroom, Smithers headed up the stairs to his office and shut the door. Finally, away from the noise and chaos of the plant and into his own little immaculate office, he could have a bit of free time.

Whenever Burns wasn't in need of assistance, Smithers would occasionally slip into his office adjacent to Burns' and write. He'd write about anything that would pop into his mind, events that occurred at work, his life, his past. He wasn't necessarily gifted with words and had never attempted writing a story, but he found that his sole source of inspiration was always his love for his boss, Mr. Burns.

The sound of typing filled the office. Fingers, accustomed to years of office work, deftly grazed the keyboard and sentences quickly grew to paragraphs then pages. Occasionally, the keyboard grew silent as Smithers stopped to survey his work. He stroked his fingers across his stubbled jaw as he often did when in deep thought. As the words he'd been searching for came to mind, his hands quickly returned to the keyboard.

- o - o - o -

_Bloodlust_

_Chapter One_

_It was the autumn of 1812. Near Oxfordshire, in a modest ivy-covered home, lived a young eleven year old boy; Wallace Sylvie was his name. He was rather small for his age with unruly, light brown hair. Everyone would remark on how cute he was and how he always acted like a proper young gentleman; an 'old soul' they'd call him. He didn't play much with the other children, being much more content just to sit in his room and read or play quietly by himself._

_His parents regarded him stiffly and rarely showed him much affection. They pushed him to excel and always pressured him to be better than his peers. Sure, he felt they cared for him, but they definitely weren't as affectionate as he'd seen other parents were which made him somewhat envious of his classmates._

_The family had just eaten dinner and as soon as Wallace had excused himself from the table, he could hear the familiar tension building from his parents; an argument was inevitable. Wallace grabbed one of his books and sat on the bottom step of the staircase to read. Even though he could never concentrate on his book, the words took his mind off of the raised voices of his parents shouting from the kitchen. They fought over the silliest of things sometimes. Lately, their fights had become more frequent and normally the boy would just ignore it as the usual chaos that occurred in most families._

_There was a terrible storm outside and the thunder terrified him even more than his parents yelling. Sometimes he'd wish that some stranger would come and take him away. He didn't care the destination as long as it was far away. No sooner than he'd had that thought, an abrupt noise erupted from the living room like a gunshot. The family stood transfixed with horror as the window shattered into nothing but diamonds scattered across the elegant rug._

_Surely it must be a tree branch or some other rubble, one would think. That is, until the real source of the impact came into view. From the dim, candlelit room, they could see the figure of a man standing amongst the shards of glass. Not until the lightening struck could they see the full image of the stranger; his cold, sinister face highlighted in a most dramatic fashion by the intermittent light._

_Dressed in ornate formal attire, a cape draped gracefully around his lithe, yet regal frame. In one quick movement the dark stranger grabbed the father and promptly sank his sharp fangs into his neck, rendering him unconscious. The mother barely even had the time to shriek at the sight before she too felt the fateful sting of teeth against flesh and joined her husband on the floor. He was, in every way, reminiscent of the vampires of folklore._

_The boy, now crouched behind the staircase, watched between the wooden railings in horror as the man dismissively wiped the blood from the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand. He willed his heart to remain silent, almost fearing the man would somehow hear its frenzied rhythm. The tall figure walked slowly towards the area where the trembling boy was attempting to hide._

- o - o - o -

"Smithers! Where are those incident reports you promised would be on my desk before four o'clock?" I know you're in there! Are you hiding?" came Burns' demanding voice from the other room.

"Uh, no sir. They're on your desk. Check the folder under your paperweight; I'm sure it's there." Smithers scratched his forehead as his train of thought returned. He was actually somewhat appreciative of Burns' occasional interruptions. Just hearing the man's voice provided him the extra push he needed to keep his villain very much in character. He even provided enough archaic vocabulary to keep the characters speaking as they would have back in the old Regency era of the nineteenth century.

- o - o - o -

_"Boy, I know you're in there. Are you hiding?" the smooth, baritone voice finally breaking the deathly silence. The boy folded himself tight. His arms securely wrapped around himself in a futile effort to will his body to disappear, his eyes squeezed shut as he could hear the man approaching._

_"So you're the boy... Wallace Sylvie I believe?" he said with the calm, stately voice of a gentleman._

_"Wha-! How did you... know my na-?"_

_"It's not important." the man inched ever closer to him and knelt down on one knee, his cape billowing around his crouched form like some morbid prince, now at eye level with the boy._

_"P-please... don't kill me!" he uttered through broken sobs._

_The man reached out one gloved hand beneath the boy's chin, gently lifting his head and making eye contact. "You're in no position to make requests young lad."_

_As his blurry vision cleared, his eyes began to focus on the stranger before him. He looked to be about the age of his father, but with classically, regal, handsome features. His hair was closely trimmed and silvery coming to a dramatic widows peak. His fierce, steel eyes were certainly unnerving as the awkward moment dragged on and for a spit-second, Wallace thought he'd seen a hint of remorse in those cold eyes as the man looked away quickly. Finally, he withdrew his gloved hand and stood back up as if he had come to some sort of important decision._

_"You will come with me." he stated firmly._

"_What?" Wallace was taken aback. Go where? Was this man serious?_

"_I shall take you away. Do you not constantly wish to be taken away from this filthy hovel? Away from parents that don't even love you?"_

"_My parents! You killed them!"_

"_They are fine and will awaken soon." he walked towards Wallace, "My name is Mr. Baines. I can take care of you, give you everything you've ever wanted. All I ask for... is your blood." Baines reached a hand out to him._

_"M-my-" Wallace stammered._

_"Give me your hand. I shall not kill you." he walks closer and before Wallace knew what had hit him, he felt an intensely sharp pain in his left wrist; the man was biting him! He struggled but found that this only made the pain worse._

_"Please, let go!"_

_He merely grunted a response, fangs still connected to the boy's fragile wrist. With his free arm he grasped the back of Wallace's jacket, bunching the material fiercely between his fingers as the pleasure derived from the youthful blood began to wane. Finally releasing him, Baines fell back to the floor with a thud. The energy from this child was surprisingly more invigorating than he'd expected._

_Wallace stood there, frozen from fear. It took the man several seconds to compose himself as the effects of the blood wore off. He sat up on his hands and stared at Wallace, a mischievous smirk across his face._

_"I gave you a chance, my dear." Baines grabbed onto the railing of the staircase to steady himself as he stood, "Now I'm afraid I have no choice but to take you!"_

_He could hear the possessiveness to that silky voice. Wallace mustered all the wherewithal he had to escape and quickly made a dash for the door but the nimble man was much too quick for him, jumping in front of the door and effectively blocking his escape. He found the strong arms firmly gripping him as he kicked and struggled._

_"I have taken claim of you and will do as you're ordered!" he scolded._

_With such finality to the man's words, Wallace didn't dare anger him further and soon found himself hoisted up into the strong arms. He didn't even have a chance to look back at the ivy-covered house on Mill Lane before Baines gracefully stepped out of the window from whence he came and took flight into the grey, storm riddled sky. He clutched desperately to the man's jacket, afraid to look down at the trees and houses whizzing by below. The boy, now a captive of this mysterious thief on one of the darkest of nights._

* * *

**A. N. - Should I post more?**


	2. The Printer Incident

**Chapter Two: The Printer Incident**

Smithers had just finished editing the first half of his story. Satisfied with his work, he kicked his heels up on his desk and pressed print. He really had no idea what to do with the story once it reached completion. Should he try to get it published? Certainly it would be in his best interest to think up a proper pen-name for privacy reasons. He looked over to the printer then back to the monitor; the screen said that the document was sixty percent printed already, yet where was it? It didn't appear to be printing at all. He stood and took a closer look at the printer; this just didn't make sense. He leaned over the machine, gently hitting the side.

"I don't see it anywhere! Where the hell is it printing to then?" A sudden horrifying realization set in. The only other printer connected to his computer was the one in Mr. Burns' office! He looked back to the screen; the document was just about finished printing and Burns didn't let things sit in there long without reading them!

"Oh my god!" he exclaimed. Of all the stupid mistakes to make!

He rushed through the door to Burns' office, quickly eying the printer. There it was. It had just finished printing and lay in waiting. Waiting for anyone to come along and take a peek. He had no doubt that if Burns got his hands on the last few chapters, it would all be over! Within the story the main character is involved with another man and certainly Burns would be smart enough to put two and two together and wonder why Smithers was writing about that! To his relief, Burns was fast asleep in his chair as always at this time in the afternoon.

"Phew," sighed Smithers, his posture becoming more relaxed. All he had to do now was simply to walk in and pick it up and Burns would be none the wiser.

"Smithers! There you are."

He had barely walked an inch when Burns' voice caught him mid-step. He began to break into a slight sweat; surely it would look suspicious if he were to go over there, snatch the papers and take off running like a little kid stealing candy. No, he had to be a little more tactful than that if he were to ever keep Burns from catching him.

Burns walked towards him, "Just the man I wanted to see. Where did you say those incident reports were? I've been looking everywhere!"

Smithers made his way towards Burns' desk, all the while acutely aware of his surroundings and his boss' vigilant eyes scrutinizing his every move. He removed the report from underneath the paperweight and handed it to Burns, his eyes occasionally averting to the corner where the printer was.

"Thank you Smithers. If it were a snake it would've bitten me!" Burns scanned through the folder. Now was his chance! He had to grab those papers from the printer while Burns was distracted. He slowly inched backwards away from Burns, attempting to get closer to the printer. Burns looked up from the folder, eying him warily.

"Are you feeling okay Smithers?" asked Burns. He sat the folder on his desk and leaned in a little closer to get a better look at his assistant. "You look a little pale and you're sweating profusely! Are you sick or something?"

"No! W-well, maybe... I dunno," stuttered Smithers. Burns held his gaze a moment before looking away suspiciously. He turned his back to him and started to pace the room slowly as if unaware that Smithers was still in the room. Smithers could practically feel those annoying butterflies swarming around his stomach, only this time it felt more like ants; far from a pleasant feeling.

"Smithers, what are you still doing in here?" Burns questioned, "I don't recall asking for anything."

"Oh, uh. I don't have anything to do at the moment," he answered, knowing how unconvincing he was probably sounding.

"What do you mean you don't have anything to do? This is a workplace! I'm sure there is something around here that you could be doing instead of just standing there like a dolt!" Burns yelled. "Besides, you still haven't given me all of the maintenance records either!"

Mr. Burns finally, to Smithers horror, noticed the papers sticking out of the printer and went to get them. He appeared to be under the assumption that it was a business document. Smithers felt as if some part of himself was disintegrating and all of the air had been suddenly sucked out of the room! Burns had it in his hands at this very moment! _Why did I just have to write my story at work?_ He internally kicked himself for being so stupid. To his relief, Burns tossed the papers on his desk carelessly and sat down to read his newspaper.

"Well?" Burns asked, his face hidden behind the newspaper. "Aren't you going to get my lunch?"

"Lunch! Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't even know it was already noon!"

Burns starts reading his newspaper again while Smithers inches closer to the desk, making sure to remain completely silent. Whenever Burns had the Wall Street Journal in his hands you couldn't pry him away. Smithers cautiously reached to grab the pages of his story from Burns' desk.

"Smithers," Burns grabs his wrist abruptly, "I know you have bouts of compulsive cleaning at times, but could you please refrain from straightening my desk and go get my lunch now! I'm famished!"

"But sir I just need-"

"Now!" Burns interrupted, making shooing motions with his hands, prompting him to leave; he had no option but to comply.

He rushed out of the room and into his own office, slamming the doors and completely forgetting about Burns' lunch. He leaned against the door, biting his nails nervously; the persistent, needles-and-pins, feeling of panic gnawing at him. _So what if he does read it? It doesn't prove anything! _he assured himself. The main characters were very similar to himself and Burns, but he doubted that Burns would even be able to pick up on the symbolism.

Smithers took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to do. The only solution would be to sneak in, maybe crawl down low enough to where Burns couldn't see him and snatch the papers from his desk. He had seen it on many sit-coms before and it was almost laughable, but it was the only plan he could come up with. He certainly couldn't let Burns read the story he'd written when it was obviously a gay romance fiction. He crouched to the floor, cracking the door open as quietly and discreetly as possible. He could see that Burns was still reading the newspaper so he slowly opened the door and gradually sneaked his way in on his knees, his heart racing.

Burns suddenly swivels his chair around to face the window, giving Smithers a chance to inch closer, undetected. He had made it to the desk and it was a small triumph until he heard Burns' voice calling for him and he just about fell over.

"Smithers! Where is my lunch?" Burns yelled without turning around. Smithers quickly dashed under Burns' desk.

_Damn! _Smithers cursed to himself. So many erratic thoughts rushed through his head. It wasn't the wisest decision, hiding under there. Now it would be even harder to get out!

Still insistent to get his story off of Burns' desk, he reached up and blindly felt around the table's surface, searching for the feel of paper. He could feel what he imagined was a section of the newspaper, then he felt a cup of pencils. Suddenly his hand skimmed over what felt like the papers he was looking for and he quickly snatched them back under the desk, his hand inadvertently brushing against the cup a bit too hard and, much to his horror, sent it toppled over, pencils spilling out in every direction.

The noise startled Burns as well and when he spun his chair around he found that strangely, his feet didn't seem to want to fit under his desk like normal. Smithers felt Burns' sharp, polished shoes digging into his side and he balled himself as tight as he could beneath the desk. The sudden eerie feeling of Déjà vu swept over him that this must be precisely how Wallace had felt when he'd been in the same position, hiding from Baines.

"Smithers?" Burns asked. A look of confusion on his face as he looked down under the desk. "What on earth are you doing down there you fool?"

He climbed out clumsily. Burns was right, he did feel like a fool and probably looked the part too. He stood brushing himself off and straightening his clothes. He didn't even know where to start explaining this one. Not even the sit-coms he'd seen helped since he couldn't even remember how the shows had turned out anyway.

Smithers scratched his neck nervously, "I just, I dropped my um, contact lens! Yeah..." Who was he fooling? That didn't even sound convincing to himself.

"Preposterous, you're wearing glasses...hey what's that you have there?" asked Burns, pointing to the bunched up stack of papers in Smithers' hand. The story.

"I-it's just... its." _Oh shit!_ He cursed to himself. Burns abruptly snatched it away from him.

"Something tells me that this isn't one of those sappy, sentimental poems you're always so fond of. No, it's much too thick. What on earth have you been writing here Smithers?" his voice was laden with suspicion, perhaps even curiosity.

Smithers looked down, studying his feet, "I-I'm sorry..."

"Hmm... Bloodlust huh? Strange title." Burns flips through it briefly without reading. "Fancy yourself a writer do you?"

"Well-"

"A novel of some sort I assume?" asked Burns playfully.

"Ah, you caught me sir!" Smithers let out a nervous laugh and reached out to grab the papers from Burns' hands. "Now just let me have it back! It's only a rough draft!"

"Nah ah ah! Not so fast! I'm surprised at you Smithers. You've never been one to slack off at work!" Burns shook the rolled up papers at him. "Might I remind you that this is a place of business, not a place of artistic expression! You're no Jane Austin; you're my assistant! Now get to work. -and don't forget my lunch!"

Burns smacked him in the chest with the papers and stormed back to his seat. Smithers gladly obliged, happy just to get out of there with his secret still in tact. He quickly left the room with his _sacred document_, locking it away in his desk and emerging a few moments later with Burns' lunch that he had prepared earlier. He sat the plate next to Burns at the desk and left.

The minute he stepped back into the safety of his office, a wave of relief rushed through him. He leaned his back against the door and placed a hand on his chest.

"How do I get myself into these situations?" he laughed weakly. All these emotions just over some stupid story he'd been writing in his spare time. It had been quite an eventful day for poor Smithers and it was only twelve o'clock!

* * *

Burns sat in his red swivel-chair reading the rest of his newspaper. He began to lose focus as his thoughts strayed to his assistant. He had been acting really strange earlier. First the sweating, then the whole thing with him hiding under the desk. Burns stood, pacing slowly in front of his desk.

_All just to keep that precious story he'd written a secret? What was the big deal anyway?_ Burns wondered, _Why wouldn't he want me to read it? It seems out of everyone in the world I would be the first he should show it to!_

He came to a stop in front of the printer and noticed that the load-paper light was flashing green, so he took a stack of papers and loaded the machine. He started to walk away, but stopped when he heard the printer buzzing to life; it was printing something.

"What the-?" Burns figured that Smithers must have just forgotten he was printing something else.

He returned to his desk, dismissing it. Smithers was out at the moment so it must be some work related document he had planned on printing after he'd printed his story. He resumed his position in his comfy chair, legs crossed and reading the paper. It had been hard to read earlier with all the distractions. He picked up the sports section, quickly skipping the golf articles. Most of his favorite older players were rarely even mentioned anymore.

Finally, the printer stopped its irritating humming. Burns continued to read a while. He wanted to be nice and relaxed before he went to monitor the security cameras. He couldn't wait to see all those imbeciles goofing off just to have a reason to threaten them with a pink-slip. Once he'd finished reading, he set the newspaper aside and went to retrieve the document from the printer. He picked it up and walked over to sit in front of the wall of security monitors he had set up. The many screens showed various employees, some of them working hard, others hardly working at all. There sat that same balding fellow in sector 7-G.

"Sleeping on the job again you idiot?" Burns leaned closer to the screen and yelled as the man continued to snore away "Looks like old What's-his-name will be paying a little visit to my bottomless pit later!" he laughed menacingly.

Burns fiddled with the papers in his lap. It didn't look much like any report he'd ever seen. In fact, it look vaguely similar to the document he had just scolded Smithers about just fifteen minutes ago! He held the papers out at arms length; the first page appeared to be the cover with the title _Bloodlust_. So this was the hyped novel that Smithers was so desperately trying to keep away from him? He must have accidentally set the printer to make two copies. He'd always heard Smithers complaining about the buttons on his keyboard sticking sometimes.

_Something must be in there that he doesn't want me to see!_ he thought. Burns clutched the story to his chest looking around the room shiftily as if he held some sort of sacred document. Smithers would most likely be out for another twenty minutes or so and this annoying little voice in his mind kept urging him to read it.

_What are you waiting for Monty? You've got the perfect opportunity! Read it! He'll never know!_

The better part of him knew better; obviously Smithers must have had a good reason to keep it a secret. It would be like snooping through his diary, though Burns knew he probably would have read that too if the man kept one. Still, the part of his conscience that knew better had been put away long ago. The only little voice that ever urged him to do anything was always the little devil on his left shoulder. So without further hesitation, he flipped over the cover page began to read the first chapter.

To his surprise, the story wasn't half as bad as he'd expected. It actually turned out to be very interesting. He especially liked the character Mr. Baines and instantly had the feeling that Smithers had based that character off of Burns himself. As far as he knew, he'd never been anyone's inspiration before, except for the time when the neighborhood kids were _inspired _to toilet paper his house for Halloween once. To be the inspiration for a character was a big stroke to his ego and he could almost understand why Smithers was so worried about him reading it.

He had finished the first three chapters where the boy had been kidnapped by the vampire. Baines had taken him to his manor, near the city of Bath, or the great hunting ground as he'd called it. He'd kept him in a dungeon the first day to ensure that the boy wouldn't run off. The next day, he decided to give Wallace one of the many guest rooms he'd had available. Despite being a kidnapper, the man was quite a hospitable host and the boy was very grateful to be given his own room, yet as interesting as it was to read, the whole story seemed a tad bit like an extreme case of Stockholm Syndrome with paranormal elements thrown in. Burns continued to read.

* * *

_Mortimer Baines was born in 1715. He'd become a vampire at the age of forty-nine and had many dark memories hidden in his past. He'd never been successful at fathering his own child and being immortal, the need to pick an heir seemed pointless one would think, yet it was a common occurrence for a vampire to take either a lover or an heir to become their companion and it was quite common for a vampire to keep a human companion, one that could provide fresh blood at a moment's notice until the day came that they would be ready to become a vampire themselves if they so wished. An occasional bite would do no permanent damage if one were careful enough._

_He rather liked the idea of keeping a child that he could mold into his own image; to pass down the many centuries of knowledge and experience he'd accumulated; however, the whole time, there was this foreboding feeling he had attached to taking another child under his wing. He'd had another young apprentice once. One he cared about like a son and one whose blood and companionship he'd grown so addicted to much like he had with Wallace's._

_The boy in question was one he had captured from an orphanage in 1770 and his name was Kenneth Adlem. He had kept the boy for four years and the two quickly became like a strange, makeshift family. Kenny was like the son he'd never had. When Kenneth turned fourteen, Baines had become a little too zealous with his bite and the consequences where fatal. Baines felt himself drowning in his own regret and sorrow, vowing that he would never again keep another child or companion. Perhaps he was destined to travel the world alone for all of time._

_Decades passed. He had been alone for thirty-eight years now and being a loner by nature, he never thought it would bother him so much. Now that he had Wallace, he felt those same signs of addiction he'd had with Kenny and it scared him like nothing else. He'd grown close to Wallace in the few short weeks that he'd had him so far and had actually called him Kenny several times. Wallace questioned him on the matter, but he brushed it off._

_Just like with Kenneth, he found himself wanting only his blood. He had actually botched his own hunting sessions just so he'd have an excuse to bite the boy. After a few months, Wallace should start to develop a resistance to vampire wounds and would begin to heal much quicker. The pain would soon lessen too. Initially Wallace was frightened of him which was understandable as he was a very intimidating man even when he wasn't trying to be, yet with time, the two had grown close._

_Baines sat in his subterranean study, reading the news paper. The only light, came from the many sconces along the stone walls and candles scattered throughout the spacious room; very fitting for a creature of the night and he didn't need much light anyway with vampire eyes that were so uniquely attuned to seeing in low light._

_Wallace timidly climbed down the stone steps and into the basement. In his hand was the violin that Baines had bought him during one of their mid-night shopping sprees. Baines peered over the newspaper and watched curiously as Wallace came to stand before him, a solemn look on his young face._

_"Mr. Baines," the meek voice interrupted, "you said you'd teach me to play the violin... my father never had the chance to teach me." The boy looked down, a brief moment of sadness crossing his features. Baines sat the newspaper aside._

_"Tell me something Wallace." said Baines as he pondered the question he was about to ask, as well as the response he'd receive. _

_"Yes sir?" Wallace stepped closer. Baines' heart rate quickened, his eyes instinctively seeking out the pulsing, life-giving vessels so close to the skin's surface, illuminated by the flickering light. His attention was particularly drawn to the carotid artery which if bitten, could likely result in death. He averted his eyes, shameful that he was viewing the youngster as a fresh piece of meat._

_"Er... I-I was just wondering... if you ever miss your parents at all?" he swallowed. It wasn't like such a confident man as Baines to stutter and it came as quite shock to himself. Was he really that affected by Wallace and was it pure bloodlust or actual affection? If Wallace were to ever make it to adulthood, he must learn to control himself._

_"Well, I do miss my parents occasionally," he answered, "but I want to stay with you forever." Wallace wrapped his arms around the man sitting in the chair. Somehow, he found himself hugging the boy back, which was an odd feeling since he was so unaccustomed to showing genuine physical affection for anyone in so long other than the seduction of his various victims. The familiar urge to pierce the young skin, boiled just below the surface of his calm facade. If he couldn't even control his own urges then maybe he was just never equipped to become a vampire in the first place. However, once a vampire, always a vampire._

* * *

Burns sat, transfixed in his seat in front of the security monitors. Smithers had written this? His Smithers? Where and how had he come up with such an intriguing story? He would be fooling himself to think it was merely inspired from his and Smithers' relationship. Sure there were many similarities, but he had to admit that Smithers was a pretty good writer, not just some meager assistant. Why on earth would he want to keep such a story a secret? Was he worried that someone might find out that he actually had a talent? Burns hoped to read the rest of the story, but it would have to wait because Smithers was due back soon and he didn't really want Smithers to catch him reading it since it felt sort of like a betrayal of privacy.

He stood up from the seat in front of the security monitors and stuffed the story in the bottom drawer of his desk. At first it seemed Smithers was the one trying to hide the story now he was the one hiding it which was sort of amusing. He still had about seven more chapters to read and he was curious about what would happen to poor Wallace. Would the vampire kill him? What would his parents do now that their son was gone? While sitting at his desk, lost in thoughts the phone rang and brought him back to reality.

"Ahoy hoy, Monty Burns here." he said with his usual greeting.

"Ah Mr. Burns, it's nice to hear your voice again!" the voice was that of a female; one he didn't recognize.

"And your name would be?" questioned Burns.

"That's not important right now, but I do have some important news that I'm sure you'd be interested in." Burns could here the sounds of traffic in the background as she spoke.

"Who the hell is this? Is this some sort of prank call?" Burns was getting irritated, mostly because Smithers wasn't there to screen his phone calls.

"No no! I assure you, as one business person to another... I'm from the...N...R...C..." she pronounced the acronym slowly, most likely anticipating the alarming affect it would have on the man.

Burns fell out of his chair! It was the NRC! He'd had nightmares about that organization as did many owners of various poorly-maintained power plants around the country. They had the power to bury him in fines and penalties, even to shut him down and nearly had many times in the past. If it weren't for Smithers saving his ass and just plain luck, his plant would have been shut down years ago with all of the radiation, unsavory business practices safety violations lurking around every corner.

He quickly scrambled up from the floor just as Smithers walked into the room; his assistant quickly rushed to his aid.

"Sir! Are you all right?" Smithers shrieked.

"I'm fine! Now be quiet! I've got some one from the...NRC here!" Smithers winced at the horrid acronym.

He put the phone back to his ear, "Yes? Is there something you need to discuss?" asked Burns bravely.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have a proposition for you." she stated in her best business-like voice.

"Continue."

"Your plant is scheduled for a surprise inspection tomorrow. Now I can make this go well for you...that is if you are willing to do something for me."

"Hm, this isn't some sting operation is it?"

"No, I just want a job interview at your plant. I'm getting rather tired of my current position at the safety commission." she said, lowering her voice to a much more sultry tone, an abrupt transition from her former business-like manner. "I'd much rather work for such a nice, intelligent, attractive man such as yourself."

"Oh, is that so?" Burns twisted the phone cord around his fingers as the woman continued, still in the back of his mind, he had the feeling her flirtations has an ulterior motive.

"Yes. I can never seem to stay long at any job, I guess I'm sort of a Jane-of-all-trades! But I'm sure that if you hire me that the two of us would really develop great synergy for the plant!"

"Your proposal interests me and I'd certain;y be interested in giving you an interview." Of course, who was he to turn down such an offer? This woman could possibly help him cheat the NRC with all the connections that he likely had. It was highly possible that she had a whole web of yes-men at her disposal that could rival his own.

"Great, I'll be there tomorrow for the inspection. I'll make sure to give you extra good marks if you're a good boy!"

"Oh? And what if I'm a naughty boy?" Burns queried. He was practically beaming and chose to ignore the sound of disgust coming from Smithers. This mysterious lady was a sly one when it came to the art of seduction and this was a game that Burns knew all too well.

"Well then... I suppose I will have to find a suitable punishment in the form of a nice penalty from the commission!" Burns eyes widened at this, blackmail being the ultimate equalizer.

"I'll be better than a choirboy at Sunday school! Thank you Mrs.-" his words trailed off expectantly, eager to hear her name.

"I'd rather not say on the phone, even if this is a payphone, you can't be too careful!"

"Ah, I see that you have a real head for business... sweet lady of mystery. I'll be awaiting your arrival!"

"See you tomorrow then! Ciao!" She hung up and it took Burns a moment to get over her words as he had, of course, let all of the flattery go straight to his head. Burns sat at his desk, wondering what tomorrow's 'surprise inspection' would bring.

"Sir? Just what was that all about?" asked Smithers. Burns looked over to Smithers who appeared annoyed about the phone call for some reason. It seamed that whenever he behaved in an affectionate manor towards a woman... or anyone for that matter, that his assistant always seemed to get a little miffed about it. Sometimes, despite his assistant's often perverted sense of humor, he suspected the man to be a real prude as he never actively sought out female companionship.

"Oh, its nothing." He knew better than to tell Smithers, the man would only disapprove if he knew about the illegal tip-off. It was supposed to be a surprise inspection after all and it would be. A surprise to Smithers that is. That means it was somewhat honest right?

* * *

**A. N. - I bear no ill will towards the great people of the NRC and the great work they do to keep our nuclear power plants safe... I hope that covers me.**

**'Til the next chapter then.**


	3. An Audible Gasp

**Chapter Three: An Audible Gasp**

Burns sat in his office reclining in his chair, heels lazily propped up on the desk. He hadn't much else to do at the moment and found that his usual, menial duties had become something of a bore so he decided to indulge his curiosity and read a little more of Smithers' book. He had just finished with chapter eight and had taken a short break to check if the preparations for the inspection were going accordingly.

He thought about the mysterious female informant that had paid him a call a few hours ago. What was in it for her? She'd said she had wanted a job interview in exchange for cutting him some slack on the safety inspection, which meant that she wasn't averse to bending the rules or breaking a few laws to benefit herself; qualities that Burns himself actually praised. She seemed to have quite the astute business sense by his standards.

Still, she had to have some sort of ulterior motive. A job at the NRC definitely paid more than the lowly, entry level position he could offer her. What was in it for her to even want the job and what would be her qualifications? He highly doubted that she held a deep seated passion for nuclear fission. People like her only wanted one thing and that was money; Burns, of all people, would know that. The way she'd talked on the phone, so flirtatious, was a well known ploy he'd seen before, yet his logic had always worked against him when it came to flattery. His vanity could very well prove to be his downfall if he weren't careful.

Since he had gotten the call, he had ordered his senior staff to handle all of the last minute preparations and to clean up the place from top to bottom for good measure. Getting the radiation levels to an acceptable level in just one day was out of the question, but what ever could be disposed of, repaired, hidden or decontaminated before the inspection was being taken care of. Burns relaxed against the plush swivel chair, sipping the tea Smithers had brought for him earlier. It felt good to pull a fast one on that blasted safety commission and if this woman was really going to come through for him, then tomorrow's inspection would be a synch.

Smithers was out supervising and overseeing much of the preparations for the inspection or whatever else he did all day, giving Burns ample time to read. So far, the whole thing was turning out to be very riveting and it was funny to think of Smithers as the Charles Dickens type. He flipped over to the next page of the book and continued to read, hoping to finish the last few chapters quickly so he could get on with his day and be done with the detraction it had caused.

_Wallace's fourteenth birthday brought a lot of memorable anniversaries to mind. Baines turned one hundred that year. Fourteen was also the age that his first heir Kenneth had died. Fortunately, after many long days and nights, his tiresome efforts in his underground lab had finally proven to be fruitful and had lead to the discovery of a serum that freed him from his constant bloodlust for Wallace. Bloodlust was a rare condition that sometimes afflicted a vampire causing an addictive, parasitic attraction to one individual to the point where it took total control over the vampire's life. The local vampire society commended him for his outstanding medical and alchemical pursuits._

_They lived in Baines' stately home in a small village roughly two miles west of Bath and enjoyed the rich nightlife of the beautiful and historical city. As the years went on, despite the obvious differences of being the captive of a vampire, Wallace had surprisingly grown up as a most normal, well-rounded individual. He even went to school and had made a few friends. He'd sometimes bring friends home for dinner; upon which after meeting Mr. Baines, they'd usually prefer playing outside instead. Others never returned at all. Wallace even had a girlfriend briefly which had turned out to be a disaster when she found out how creepy his so called "godfather" was._

_When Wallace turned seventeen, Baines had taken him back for a long overdue reunion with his parents. They were initially shocked when he'd shown up at their door. Wallace had told them the entire story and they sat wide eyed as he recounted the whole crazy, twisted tale. He left his childhood home that day with his parents gawking out of the front door, in shock that he was indeed still alive and willing to return to his captor like a loyal dog to it's master. They'd seen Baines standing outside in the front yard waiting for him and quickly slammed the door, likely remembering the fateful night that he had attacked them._

_Baines smirked at their reaction. So the boy's parents did remember him? He always did like the thrill that came from intimidating others._

Burns stopped reading for a moment, "The thrill of intimidating others? I think I'm really starting to like this vampire fellow!" Burns mused. He turned the page for the next chapter.

_Since the beginning, he had been somewhat rude and cold at times, but Wallace understood him; that was just the way he was. He would bring a cup of tea down to the laboratory and set it next to the busy man. He liked to watch him work, testing theories, pouring strange, noxious liquids into beakers and writing furiously onto paper. The teen often wondered what would go on in a mind so rich with history and decades of knowledge. When he was still a child, Baines would call him his little assistant and that someday he might become a great vampire if he chose to follow in his footsteps. Words he had taken to heart._

_Their favorite nighttime venue was the Theatre Royal. Baines often went hunting there and would seduce young, unsuspecting women and the occasional gullible man and before the night was over they'd be left with more that just a hickey on their neck. With once fierce bite, they'd be out like a light only to awaken later with no recollection of the incident yet bearing inexplicable fang marks to various areas of the body._

_Wallace would sit a few seats away in the theater and he couldn't help but feel jealous of the attention the victims would receive from Baines. The vampire didn't have much of a need to bite Wallace anymore now that he'd invented that serum. The bites barely even hurt Wallace anymore and he didn't understand why Baines would put these poor women through such pain when he had such a willing blood source right at home waiting for him._

_Still, most of the time, it was just the two of them together in the theater and that's the way Wallace wished it would stay. He was just glad that Baines had never fallen in love with any of the victims he'd preyed upon. He couldn't bare the thought of anyone but himself with Mr. Baines._

_The man often talked about how he would turn Wallace into a vampire when he was older if he still wished to be one; now he wasn't so sure. Did he really want to spend eternity with someone that could never love him the way he wanted? It would be like torture. Yet if they stayed the way they were, vampire and human companion, then at least he'd get to be in the presence of such an exquisitely brilliant and sexy being for a while._

"Exquisitely brilliant and sexy, eh?" Burns sat the story down on the desk a moment. "I think Wallace is a little obsessed! Of course who wouldn't be? I was the inspiration after all and I am exquisitely brilliant and sexy! It seems that both Wallace and Smithers have bit of hero worship for their bosses!" he quipped.

But the story did mention love too. The young man would pass up a chance at immortality just because Mortimer Baines didn't love him the way he wanted him to. Burns mulled over that bit of information, still uncertain as to just what the story was trying to imply. So Wallace loved Baines. If those two were really inspired by his and Smithers' relationship, it sort of made sense to him. He was pretty sure Smithers cared a great deal about him with his constant displays of sentimentality. They had been colleagues for many years and deep down, Burns really did consider Smithers his best friend. His only real friend. It was only natural to care about someone when you spend most of your free time with that one person, but the way Smithers had worded everything made it seem as if Wallace were in love and completely infatuated with the vampire. Of course that didn't make sense. Who would write such tale of a boy falling in love with a vampire many decades his senior? Both male characters at that! Burns was fairly certain that that wasn't the case. He continued to read.

_He was absolutely and unequivocally in love with the man and was afraid to say anything, afraid to make the first move. Even though now they were on a first name basis, he still had the overwhelming fear that if Mortimer found out about his affections that he'd lose him forever. How could you just return to normalcy after a confession like that? The man, though wise from his long life as a vampire, seemed a product of his times. Though he never seemed to actively detest the notion of same sex relationships, it was doubtful that he'd ever be able to look at another man with passion in his eyes even if that meant passing up the chance at true love. The thought made Wallace sick to his stomach and he sometimes wished that Baines had never made that serum in the first place. Then there would be no stopping the bloodlust that would come, giving him the attention he so dearly craved. Attention that could very well eventually lead to the death of him._

"So it wasn't a mistype? The boy IS in love with-!" Burns quickly read on.

_So Waylon feared that he might go the rest of his life without the love he so desperately desired. He could never love anyone as much as Mr. Burns so why even try to find someone else to fill the void? Anyone else would only be a pale imitation. Love is an often fickle emotion, something impossible to receive from someone unwilling to give it, yet it pained him every time he'd see Mr. Burns with a woman._

Burns stood up from his seat and read the last few sentences a couple of times, attempting to come to grips with the meaning of it all. Smithers wasn't even referring to Baines anymore, he'd typed Mr. Burns! Could it be that his suspicions on Smithers' sexuality weren't quite as farfetched as he had deemed them to be and actually had some merit to them? Suspicions that he had so carelessly thrown out as preposterous countless times, might not be as unlikely as he'd once thought. He had been wary of Smithers over the top devotion in the past, especially after the unusually passionate kiss he'd received from his assistant a while back when they both thought the apocalypse was upon them. How could he have so foolishly dismissed such blatant proof? This had just clinched it for him!

The papers fell from his fingertips and landed in a scattered heap around his feet as the shock of what he'd just read set it. Smithers was in love with him!

"This is just... This is insane! It can't be true!" He couldn't control the shakiness in his voice as he spoke out loud to himself. His heart raced with panic, beating with a frenzied rhythm; even his hands were shaking. He didn't know why, since this was all Smithers problem, not his! It was almost too much information to bear all at once and the weight of it all would most likely change their relationship forever. The only real lasting relationship he'd ever had. Sure, Smithers had always been seen as just his spineless lackey, but secretly, Burns had always known him to be more than that. He was the child his best friend had left behind after his death, the very one that stood by him through thick and thin. A friend when no one else had been there.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" His mind was reeling. Some part urged him to confront Smithers with this. Then there was another voice in his head telling him to just pretend it had never happened and then maybe it would all go away.

One thought stood out in his mind. Did he really know all along how Smithers felt about him? Maybe he just didn't pay him enough mind to really notice. Maybe some part of him secretly craved the attention of having someone fawn over him day and night, even if it was another man. He couldn't even believe the track that his own thoughts had taken! That couldn't be true. Burns himself had been engaged to be married three times! All of them women and there was simply no way that he craved any man's attention! He just wasn't raised that way and his grandfather made sure of that!

Burns bent down to pick up the pile of papers he'd dropped. There was no use in letting Smithers come in and find out that he'd read his abhorrent story.

_So that's the plan eh Monty?_ came the annoying voice of his thoughts, _Your not going to confront him about it are you? A few minutes ago you thought the story was brilliant! Now you deem it abhorrent?_

_The thought of being with another man is just wrong!_ Burns convinced himself firmly. It was fine for others and he'd never been one to judge others based on sexuality because frankly, he couldn't care less who anyone else loved, but it certainly wasn't the lifestyle he'd envisioned for himself.

_Just because Smithers happened to write it in the book, doesn't mean he is attracted to you!_ The thought calmed him as it meant that there was still room for doubt. Besides, he had made it to the final chapter anyways and he could be done and over with the whole thing! He'd finished gathering the papers and put them back away in the bottom of his desk, his hands still shaking from the information held within those pages. Even though the final chapter had come as a shock, he couldn't help but think it seemed, unfinished. There had to be more to it than that.

Burns shut the bottom drawer, his hand lingering on the handle a moment. "It just didn't end right... something was missing."

"Something's missing sir?" The voice startled him and he quickly turned around to see Smithers coming through the doorway with a stack of papers and folders so high that he could barely see over them. He made has way into the room, the stack of paperwork swaying precariously.

"Mr. Burns, I really wish you'd consider going digital! All this paperwork is backbreaking!" he grunted. Before Burns could warn him, the stack came crashing to the floor. The whole middle of the room was covered in papers and manila folders.

"Aw dammit! I just finished organizing everything... it took me hours!" Smithers brought a hand to his forehead in frustration. Smithers' sudden presence in the room was very unsettling given what he'd just learned about the man.

_No, not learned! It was just a story remember? You have no proof!_ He quickly reminded himself.

Smithers began to pick up the papers, attempting to place them back into the right folders. Burns watched as Smithers became annoyed with himself the more he attempted to sort out all the mess. It had taken hours to put together all those reports the first time and now it would probably take even longer. Normally, Burns would give him a swift kick in the rear and scold him for being a stooge, but he suppressed the urge this time. He didn't know what possessed him, but he bent down to lend him a hand. Smithers stopped what he was doing for a second and Burns could feel eyes watching him in disbelief.

"Well, what are you gawking at Smithers? Help me pick up this mess!" Smithers gave him a grin and without another word, the two of them soon had the papers stacked into a neat pile. They both reached for the last paper simultaneously. For a second, their fingers brushed together and he heard an audible gasp escape his assistant's lips. He also appeared to have a slight flush across his face. Burns couldn't believe Smithers could have such a reaction from just that brief contact.

With just that one unspoken reaction, he knew his suspicions about his assistant had been confirmed.

* * *

**A.N. - ****Thanks for all the comments! Love you guys!**


	4. A Detour

**Chapter Four: A Detour **

No doubt, what had happened that day had left Burns in an odd situation. Within the matter of just a few hours, everything had changed and he could feel the tension in the air whenever Smithers was near. For the remainder of the workday, Burns remained mostly silent at his desk and tried to keep his mind on his work. Though, it was becoming increasingly hard to concentrate with Smithers passing by his desk, occasionally lingering there just a little too long to be considered normal. He'd never realized before how often his assistant actually passed through his office in one day! Maybe it's just that he'd never really paid attention before. Little things that he'd always ignored before, now stood out glaringly obvious.

When it was time to go home they walked out to Burn's car, only this time Burns noticeably lagged behind instead of walking so close as they usually did. Everything was just so awkward now that it was simply impossible to relax.

_Is this how it was going to be from now on? _He wondered as Smithers held open the car door for him. Now that he knew Smithers' big secret, he had the feeling that this situation and the tension he felt around him would be hard to get accustomed to and would only become worse with time. He glared at Smithers as he started the car, annoyed at the position the man had put him in. This was Smithers' problem. It wasn't his fault that he was witty, charming and completely irresistible.

The rest of the car ride was mostly silent. Normally the two would be talking, joking around or even arguing. Now, because of what had happened, Burns couldn't even bare to say more than a few words to him. Now that the truth was so blatantly clear, it was almost too much to handle so suddenly.

"Mr. Burns, you're certainly quiet today. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" he laughed, but his tone was tinged with concern as the car rounded the corner.

"Oh, no. I'm perfectly fine." he replied. "It's just been a long day, nothing to be concerned about." The silence continued for a moment and Burns silently berated himself for not remembering to raise the glass privacy window between them.

"Uh, Mr. Burns... I have a huge favor to ask... " Smithers finally interrupted.

"What is it now?"

Smithers hesitated, "You see, it's my dog. He went to the vet yesterday and I have to check on him and give him his medicine at precisely three-thirty."

Burns leaned back in his seat, he was kind of relieved that Smithers had brought up something ordinary to talk about, anything to take his mind off of Smithers and his damn _feelings_. Burns relaxed a little. _Good_, he thought, _we're back to normal conversation._

"Oh, well, that's no problem. Just drop me off then and then take care of that mutt of yours." said Burns.

"Uh, there's kind of a problem with that. It's already three twenty-five so..."

"Smithers, you're my driver and I say you take me home first!" he ordered, his tone unnecessarily more irritable than usual.

"But sir, I really need to make sure Hercules is okay! He has a skin infection and he really needs antibiotics! It'll be a really big favor and I'll owe you! I'll owe you big time!" Smithers pleaded, looking into the rear view mirror at him, in his eyes a silent plea. With Smithers groveling, it almost made him believe they were back to their old routine. It wasn't as if Smithers knew that anything had changed between them so it should be easy to just move on as if nothing had changed.

"Well, since I'm such an opportunist, then what's in it for me?" asks Burns playfully.

"Uh, my undying love, admiration and servitude? Is that good enough?" he answered

"Hmph!" Burns snorted, rolling his eyes. "Give me something I don't already have."

"Something you don't- what?" Smithers asked nervously.

"Nothing! I just meant that... ah... " _time to avert the subject_, "Just go deal with that flea-bitten mongrel of yours! But make it snappy; I don't want to wait in the car all day!" Burns ranted. He really had to choose his words more carefully if he were to avoid more slip-ups like that; though, speaking carefully really wasn't one of his strong points.

"Right! I can't thank you enough! Herc would thank you too!" chimed Smithers appreciatively.

"Hmm."

When they finally arrived a few minutes later, Smithers pulled up to his apartment and parked the car, quickly rushing inside and leaving Burns alone to wait for him. After about ten minutes of waiting, Burns became even more annoyed.

"What is taking so long?" Burns spoke aloud to himself. He had assumed that Smithers would just be in and out once he'd dealt with that dog of his and he really didn't want to have to go inside to see what was holding him up. He hadn't been in Smithers apartment in quite a while and given the current situation, it was the last place he wanted to be. After another five minutes of waiting and staring at the leather interior of the seat in front of him, he began to feel a mixture of curiosity and concern. Something must be going on in there for Smithers to be taking so long.

"Don't be ridiculous Monty." he told himself, "Everything's just fine."

Still, it sounded somewhat unconvincing even to himself. Finally, curiosity got the best of him and he got out of the car, scaling the flight of steps to Smithers' apartment and opened the front door, peering cautiously through the doorway. The place was just as he'd remembered, completely immaculate and surprisingly neat for a bachelor pad.

_Of course it would be_. thought Burns. _He hardly ever spends any time here... always at my house or at work._..

"Smithers? Where on earth are you?" Burns called out.

"I'm looking for Hercules! I can't find him anywhere!" said Smithers. Burns let out a sigh of relief and followed his assistant's voice to the back room where he found him on his knees looking under the bed. Smithers looked up and seemed a little surprised to see him standing in his room and stood up quickly.

"Uh, I'm sorry I took so long sir," Smithers apologized, "but as soon as Herc saw the medicine bottle, he took off and hid somewhere! I'm so sorry for making you wait out there!"

"Enough with the histrionics Smithers. Just find the dog and get on with it! I'll be waiting in the living room." He turned to leave the room. "All this trouble for a little fluff ball... much better as a coat if you ask me..." Burns mumbled before walking out of the room. As he came into the living room, he saw a little black nose sticking out from the bathroom door. Burns crept as quietly as possible and stood near the door where he could see the dog now peeking out at him.

"Well hello there little pup! Are you hiding from someone?" Burns raised his voice to a slightly higher pitch as if talking to a child. The dog had never really liked him all that much and let out a low, warning growl as Mr. Burns picked him up, brushing a stray tuft of greyish fur away from its eyes.

"Aw, you never did like me did you? You know Smithers is looking everywhere for you." the dog continued its low growl. Clearly he didn't trust this strange man in his house even though he'd seen Burns a few times before.

"You know you're such a cute little fellow. You'd make a nice fur collar for my jacket!" Burns joked, still using his playful, childish voice. Of course he would never harm Smithers' dog and was only joking, but the dog seemed as if it understood him and quickly began to wriggle out of his grasp.

"_Grrr, arf arf ARF_!" Hercules squirmed and yelped in his arms until finally snapping at his finger. Burns promptly dropped the dog and shook his finger which was now starting to burn.

"Ouch! You stupid little son-of-a-!"

"Oh there you are Herc! You found him Mr. Burns!" said Smithers excitedly from the doorway. Hercules seemed to have forgotten about the bottle of medicine in Smithers' hand and ran over to his owner, wriggling all over as if happy to have been saved.

"Yes I found him!" Burns yelled, shaking his sore finger, "-and that rabid little beast of yours nearly took a finger off!"

Smithers reached down and picked up the wriggling, excited ball of fur. The dog gave him one of his trademark sad looks. "Poor little guy. Did Monty scare you?" Both looked over at Burns accusingly.

"He bit me and you're consoling him? I'm the one that needs consoling! I could be bleeding to death over here! -and stop calling me Monty!" He looked down to his index finger. Sure he had exaggerated a bit; it was only a small scratch, only now, he wished he hadn't even mentioned it at all since Smithers was standing so close and reaching for his hand to inspect the injury. Smithers usually did attend to all his cuts and scrapes before, but now it was just too awkward. He felt his face growing flushed at the sudden contact, but before Burns could protest, Smithers let go of his hand.

"I'm sure it will be fine sir, all I need is to get a little antiseptic and a bandage and you'll be all patched up."

_How dare he think he can just touch me!_ Burns thought. So many irrational, conflicting thoughts coursed through his mind. _He was just checking your injured hand, isn't that what an assistant is for? _he argued with himself a moment before Smithers returned with the first-aid kit and took out the antiseptic spray.

"Now let's see that scratch." Smithers took his hand again and applied the medicine and then a bandage. "There, I think you'll live through it sir!" said Smithers with a hint of sarcasm. Smithers' fingers lingered on his hand longer that he felt necessary until Burns finally withdrew from his touch.

"Well... it could have been worse..." said Burns, sulkily holding his sore hand close to his chest.

"Yeah, you could have lost a drop of blood!" Smithers joked. Burns walked over and sat down on the sofa as he waited for Smithers to finish up whatever he had to do so that he could drive him home. Burns would have driven himself, but whenever he was behind the wheel, no one in Springfield was safe. Smithers picked up the dog's medication from the coffee table. "Now, I've got another patient to deal with."

Burns sat on the couch watching amused as Smithers attempted to catch the fluff ball. He stood comically with his arms in the air ready to lunge at the dog who stood firm, defiantly glaring at him and patting the floor with its paws. Smithers then took an ungraceful leap, landing with a thud to the floor. The terrier hopping around happily, just out of reach.

Burns burst out laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach. "This is better than Charlie Chaplin!" Smithers stood and brushed himself off looking incredibly flustered and quite comical at being out witted by the little terrier. Burns had always found his constant physical comedy to be great entertainment. At least that was one thing that hadn't changed and it actually felt good to break away from the tension for a bit. "I believe you're more of a court jester than an assistant!" his laughter finally slowing as he caught his breath. Smithers flashed him a quick smile and shook his head before turning his attention back to the dog.

"Herc! You're going to have to take this medicine!" he said sternly before dashing forward and chasing the dog into the bedroom. Burns could here a loud thud and then a bit of struggling, then scratching of claws against the floor and after a short while, Smithers finally returned to the living-room, running his fingers through his hair tiredly. He then crossed the room; Burns' pulse climbing the closer he came, until he stopped and sat down next to him on the sofa. Such a simple action he'd done many times before, yet now it seemed so uncomfortable and unnerving.

"Feisty little fellow isn't he? He reminds me of someone." Smithers admitted. "Maybe that's why I picked him out of the litter."

"Well Smithers, are we ready to go now?" Burns asked. He couldn't take to much more of the man's praise; it was much better back when he thought it was mere hero worship, but receiving a complement from him now just seemed strange and unsettling.

"Aw, we just got here." said Smithers disappointingly, "It's been such a long time since you've been to my place and... the night is young. I was hoping we could, um... do something." said Smithers in a sort of nervously flirtatious tone. It was unmistakable his intentions and a moment of panic gripped Burns as he wondered just exactly what kind of 'something' that Smithers wanted to do. Smithers leg was touching his, eyes fixed on him admiringly, waiting for some sort of response. It was all behavior that Burns was well acquainted with coming from Smithers and it was nothing out of the ordinary as the man had always been a little too overtly friendly towards him, but now that he knew the true nature of Smithers affection, it suddenly seemed all too real and he uncomfortably scooted a couple of inches away from him.

"Uh, I'd rather not!" Burns replied hastily.

"Hm? You'd rather not what?" asked Smithers, the look of uncertainty apparent in his eyes. Burns looked away, unable to stare too long into those eyes which held such undeniable longing and confusion.

"Oh, well...ah... never mind." Burns stammered. He felt kind of ridiculous really. Smithers didn't have the guts to try anything like that; if he did, he would have done so by now. It was all just harmless, albeit flirtatious, innuendo and Smithers probably wasn't even aware of it as his amorous behavior seemed to come almost second nature to him.

"What did you have in mind sir? I'm up for anything that you want to do." Smithers turned towards him and leaned back, relaxing against the comfy white sofa and stretching his legs.

"Nothing in particular. Though, you could take me home now." Burns replied, refusing to make eye contact, a bead of sweat rolling down his brow as he felt Smithers watching him; likely sizing him up as a tiger would its prey. Or perhaps it was only his over-active imagination playing tricks on him.

"How about I get us a drink? Scotch? Brandy?" Smithers offered.

"Water! _Just_... water." answered Burns, a little too quickly than he'd meant to.

Smithers laughed, "Not feeling very adventurous tonight huh?" he joked as went to the kitchen to fetch the drinks.

Burns sat stiffly, _Trying to get me drunk eh? I know the game you're playing! _he thought. This was just insane; everything Smithers said lately seemed to be laden with double meanings. One minute things were normal and he was laughing at Smithers idiocy and the next he was sitting there blushing furiously, angry with himself and Smithers. Something had to happen! He couldn't go through this nonsense everyday!

Smithers came back and sat the two glasses down on the coffee table. The one closer to Burns appeared to be water, but the one near Smithers looked like some sort of dark brown liquid, probably brandy. Smithers seemed to take notice of him eying the glass curiously and quickly explained.

"Oh, it's just a soda. If you're sober then I want to be too." Smithers took a sip from the glass and sat it back down onto the table. Smithers was a little sensitive when it came to his occasional drinking problem, so Burns had only seen him drunk a couple of times, but the thought of a stumbling and disoriented Smithers was both amusing and a bit uncomfortable.

"Hey, why don't we play a game or something?" Smithers suggested.

"A game?" asked Burns.

"Yeah like charades, truth or dare or spin the bottle..." Smithers sort of mumbled the last one but Burns still managed to hear it. He would usually let such a ludicrous suggestion go without question, yet he couldn't just let this one pass.

"Spin the bottle eh? How does that game go exactly?" Burns bated, eager to see how he would explain his way out of this one. Time for him to squirm for a change.

"Oh! Uh... it's where you uh... sit in a circle and um..." Smithers rubbed his forehead apprehensively, obviously struggling for a response, "did I say spin the bottle?"

"Yes, I believe you did." Burns was definitely enjoying this way more than he should. Maybe this crush that Smithers had wasn't such a bad thing after all if it gave Burns a reason to torment him with it for his own amusement. It would serve him right for bringing all of this awkwardness upon them in the first place.

"Well, it was a stupid suggestion anyway, I don't know why I even mentioned it." Smithers looked down to his hands in his lap, studying his fingernails as his face and even his ears grew redder by the second. Yes, this was definitely going to be fun.

"I have a suggestion, why not a game of truth?" Burns suggested. Finally, a chance to fish for a little information under the guise of an innocent game. Smithers looked visibly uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat, but he reluctantly a greed to the game.

* * *

**A.N. - Sorry for the delay folks, I was distracted by the Winter Olympics and this awful headache. Fully recovered now!**

**Up next: Burns decides to toy with Smithers a little more. Always a sadistic side to him! Will Smithers sit back and take it or will he try to beat him at his own game?**


	5. Truth or Chess

**Chapter Five: Truth or Chess**

The two of them sat on the couch. Burns sitting comfortably with his legs crossed, hands loosely clasped in his lap, the pinnacle of composure. Smithers, in contrast, looked somewhat guarded and totally uncomfortable. It was just the affect Burns had intended.

"You mean truth or dare? Don't you think that's a bit, oh I don't know... juvenile?" asked Smithers.

"No, the game I'm talking about is simply a basic question and answer game."

"Okay, I'm up for it, But I thought you were ready to go home sir? Why the sudden change of heart?"

Burns looked at the digital clock, it was almost four pm. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to stay a little while; it's still early. We can play over a game of chess if you like." said Burns. Now that the initial shock of everything was actually starting to wear off, Burns hoped to gain a little insight into Smithers' strange obsession over him.

"Great, I'll go get the chess board." Smithers hopped up from the sofa and headed into the other room. This would definitely prove to be interesting, but Burns would have to walk a tight line between ferreting out more of Smithers' secrets while risking the chance of revealing too much information himself. It would be a delicate balancing act.

Smithers returned momentarily with the old chess board, blowing the dust from its surface. Evidently the board had been neglected in the back corner of his room for some time. He probably had no one else to play chess with, thought Burns. As they sat at the kitchen table assembling the various chess pieces across the board, Burns' thoughts traveled to Smithers' social life. He had never really gotten to know many of his friends and he'd wondered what kind of people he'd spend his free time with. Did he even have free time? How many of those friends that he had met while they were in town were actually past lovers of his? So many questions ran through his head and he wasn't even sure if he wanted to know them all.

Finally the board was set. Smithers took the white pieces, Burns the black.

"Looks like you have the first move. That also means you get to ask the first question." Burns stated, resting his elbows on the table, waiting intently.

"Oh okay, so we ask a question on each chess move? This sounds fun." Smithers tapped his fingers on the table rhythmically, considering his opening chess move. He moved a pawn forward and cleared his throat to speak, "Okay, I'll make this first question easy. What was the best present you've ever received?"

"What kind of pathetic question was that?" Burns ranted, "You could ask me anything in the world and you ask that?"

"Well? What's your answer?" asked Smithers. Burns sighed, obviously Smithers wasn't one for asking challenging questions. Then again, he supposed he should be thankful.

"I guess... When my parents gave me that teddy bear, Bobo." Burns moved his pawn forward, effectively mirroring Smithers' initial move. "There, now let me show you how to really play the game! If you could kiss any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be?" Burns noted the long pause before answering. He knew Smithers would never come right out and name off some male actor. He'd go for the safe route, picking some random female. But the initial reaction to the question told him that Smithers was likely searching for some suitable, evasive answer.

"Living or dead? Well, since I wouldn't want to kiss a corpse, I'd have to say... Gale Harrold."

_A woman? _thought Burns. _Gale could possibly be a man or a woman's name couldn't it? _He'd never get anywhere asking questions like that. He was fairly certain that Smithers had the hots for him; did he really need more concrete evidence of that fact?

After a few uneventful, boring questions and chess moves later, Burns was starting to become annoyed with the game. He wasn't even sure why he'd suggested it in the first place. Now the game was just dragging along and he just wanted to claim his chess victory and go home. Burns was confident that he had the upper hand.

"Well Smithers? Are you ready to accept defeat?" he asked smugly crossing his arms. This game was his, he was sure of it!

"Don't count me out just yet!" Smithers moves his queen chess piece across the board; an ingenious move that shifted the whole course of the game in his favor. Burns was amazed! Only a second ago he'd had a sure victory. Now Smithers sat across the table from him with a boastful smirk on his face! At this rate a checkmate was inevitable.

"Okay now, I've got a good one..."Smithers started, "If someone made a television show about your life story, what would they call it?" he asked. Burns considered the question for a moment.

"Well they could name it after my autobiography. No wait! A better title would be Rosebud_, _you know after that movie...ah...Citizen Baines. I always did love that movie." The thought of his life playing out through a television show was intriguing and he had the funds to produce such a project if he had wanted to.

"Uh, I believe it's Citizen Kane sir." Smithers corrected.

"Yes! That's what I said! Citizen Kane!" Burns was stunned. He hadn't even realized he'd said Baines at first! His assistant sat across from him, staring wide eyed in disbelief. His thoughts raced for some plausible explanation. That stupid story had been on his mind again and it had caused him yet another awkward slip up!

Finally, Smithers looked away, his voice unsteady, "Funny you should mention that name. You see, a character in my book is named Baines."

"Oh really?" stammered Burns, staring intently at the chess board, evading his gaze. "Well, I-I guess I must have... seen it briefly when I flipped through it. I couldn't read anything though since I... flipped through so quickly."

"Ah, Yeah um, I think its your move." Smithers thankfully averted the subject back to the game.

"Yes, it is isn't it?" Burns moved his chess piece. This game wasn't turning out as expected. It would be best to just resign now and give Smithers the victory, yet his frustration made him want to up the ante. _He thinks he can just make a fool out of me does he? _Burns knew he would probably lose the chess game but he was determined to win this game of wits they were playing.

"Okay, I've got one for you." said Burns, his resentment mounting, "Did you leave you're wife because of me?" At the moment Burns could care less what Smithers thought he was implying.

"Ah, don't you think that's a little out of the range of fair play sir? This was supposed to be a friendly game!" Smithers looked visibly bothered by the question.

"What, hit a little too close to home for you?" Burns taunted, leaning closer over the table, "I'm just trying to show you how a man plays the game!"

"Hey! I could ask tough questions!"Smithers protested vehemently, "I just didn't want to put you on the spot like that!"

"Well? Are you answering or not? Was your devotion to me the reason you left your wife?" snapped Burns.

"Sir, you've always been important but..." he looked down, averting his eyes to the chessboard in front of him. It was a question that had been looming over them both for years. Burns had always wondered how someone could leave such a nice, stunning woman with no reasonable explanation. Now the reason was all too clear.

"My wife was just... she wasn't the person I wanted to spend my life with. Does that answer your question?"

Burns growled, "You're move."

* * *

Smithers couldn't believe the vicious turn the game had taken and he wasn't about to sit back and let Burns crush his ego this time. He had really touched a nerve with that last question. He wasn't sure what was fueling his defiant streak, but he just felt the sudden urge to challenge the stubborn man at his own game. He made his chess move, effectively blocking any chance Burns had of victory.

"Fine you want a difficult question?" asked Smithers, his annoyance and courage mounting, "I've got one for you. During sex do you prefer the top position or the bottom?" his voice remained remarkably calm and controlled, surprising even himself.

"Top, of course, but I could always be persuaded to... Hey!" Burns jolted up from his seat knocking the chair backwards, sending it crashing to the floor. "What the hell is wrong with you asking such a thing? Why you indignant scamp! Never in my life have I heard such insolence!" He shook his fist at Smithers who still sat at the table staring up at the enraged man. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Uh, Checkmate...sir."

Gathering the chess pieces and the board, Smithers went to put them away on the shelf, glad to have an excuse to turn away. He was finding it very difficult to control his amusement and had to bite his lip in a effort not to laugh at Burns who had immediately stalked away from the table; a scowl on his red tinged face. Smithers didn't know what had possessed him to ask such a bold question earlier but the reaction was none the less entertaining!

"That was an... interesting variant of chess, sir." he was clearly unable to hide the amusement from his voice, "Very, revealing wouldn't you say?"

"Hmph!" Burns crossed his arms with conviction, "I don't want to hear another mention of that ridiculous game. Get my jacket Smithers, we're leaving!"

Smithers reached a hand out to Burns' shoulder in an apologetic gesture, "I'm sorry sir, I don't know what came over me. It was a stupid game anyway."

Burns quickly brushed Smithers' hand away from his shoulder. Smithers thought it a bit unusual for him to be so standoffish, to recoil from just a simple touch. Come to think of it, Burns had been sort of jumpy all day even before that heated chess game. Something was bothering the irritable man and Smithers was curious to find out just what it was. Though, maybe it would be best to simply let it go. No need to pester him about it since it would only make him more irritable. Perhaps sll he needed was some space to relax and cool to off for a while.

Still, he couldn't help but think it rather odd for Burns not to voice his frustration as ranting was one of his favorite pastimes. He grabbed their jackets from the coat hook near the door and reluctantly prepared to take Burns home. It had been a while since Burns had even been to his house and he hated to leave so early. It wasn't like either of them had any real plans that night anyway. As he passed by the front window, he notice the slight clatter of rain just outside. The perfect excuse to stay longer. The night was still young and Smithers didn't want to spend yet another solitary evening alone in his humble apartment all alone and wishing Mr. Burns was there.

Smithers cleared his throat, "Uh, the rain is coming down pretty hard out there. I don't think it's going to let up anytime soon." Of course, it was an exaggeration. The rain was barely more than a drizzle, but Burns didn't have to know that.

"So? Get and umbrella!" he ordered.

"May I make a suggestion sir? Why don't we just wait it out? The rain couldn't last much longer anyways."

"It rained forty days and forty nights once, who's to say it won't happen again?" asked Burns humorously as he leaned against the door frame.

Smithers laughed, glad that Burns had finally calmed enough to resort to his usual droll wit. "Ah, good one sir, but I don't think we'll have to wait that long!"

Burns checked his wristwatch, "Smithers its already five o'clock! If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to keep me here!"

"Is it working?" Smithers asked.

"You're just hopeless. I guess a few more minutes couldn't hurt." Burns laughed, crossing the room and sitting back down on the sofa. "Why don't you bring me a drink while you're up Smithers."

"Let me guess, another glass of water?" asked Smithers.

"Ah, no. I suppose a glass of wine wouldn't hurt if you have any." said Burns, reclining back onto the sofa and kicking his heels up onto the coffee table.

"Sure thing."

Whatever was bothering Burns earlier now seemed to be long forgotten. He was slowly beginning to relax back into his old self and Smithers was somewhat surprised that he had even agreed to stay longer. He retrieved two glasses from the cabinet and opened a bottle of Burns' favorite red wine, pouring them both a little. He came back into the living room and handed a glass to Burns, sitting his own on the coffee table.

"While we wait, why don't we watch some TV or something?" Smithers got up and rummaged through the movie case under the television. If he really wanted to keep Burns there as long as possible, what better way than by watching a movie? _Now, what movie is the longest? _He wondered as he took out a few old VHS tapes to choose from. He had a couple of old Star Trek movies and _Titanic_, which was a couple of hours. Then he spotted _The Stand _which was technically more of a miniseries than a movie. At about six hours in length it was sure to stall Burns there for a while.

A few hours had past while they watched the Stephen King classic and it was almost eight o'clock. Smithers had whipped up a quick dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and sliced fruit salad. Far from the fancy gourmet cuisine he'd usually serve at Burns' manor, but since the video was playing he didn't want to miss a minute of sitting near him on the sofa and watching the man complain about various parts he'd objected to. He was pretty certain that he was probably the only person on earth that actually enjoyed watching Mr. Burns whine and nitpick about the most trivial of things. As the night went on, Burns' ranting about the movie was becoming even more amusing after he had consumed a bit more alcohol. Smithers had only had a small sip and was thankfully spared the numbing effects of the drink.

"But I don't get it." Burns slurred, continuing his humorous tirade." Why did that woman jump out of that skyscraper?"

"Well, for one thing, she was pregnant with that devil child."

"What? Don't be ridiculous Smithers... you... you're can't be...*hic*... pregnant." Burns drawled, his words halting from the occasional hiccups.

"Huh?" Smithers laughed, rubbing his forehead, "Ah, I think you've had a little too much to drink sir."

"I'm not drunk! I feel just fine. Just a little tired that's all." Burns straitened up his posture a little and yawned.

It was getting late and Smithers had planned on driving him home before it got too late in the evening. Yet, they were having so much fun and he still wished to keep him around a little longer, even just a few more minutes. They had been sitting pretty close for the past half hour and Burns didn't seem to mind. Most likely he wasn't even aware of their closeness considering his level of intoxication. As Burns leaned against his side watching the movie, Smithers began to think back to the time Burns had made some bad financial investments and had lost all of his fortune. He had to move in for a week and it was the best week of Smithers' life.

"You know, this reminds me of that time you had to move in here, you remember?"

"Oh, don't remind me. That was the most horrible week of my life!" Burns stretched his arms, yawning.

"That's not the way I remember it. If I remember correctly, once you got used to it, you seemed perfectly content living the life of an average Joe!"

"Yes well," he yawned again tiredly, "I guess it was an interesting experience. I think I like being Mr. Burns better. Joe was... who is Joe?" he questioned. Smithers laughed, Burns was so wasted he could tell the man anything at that moment and he probably wouldn't even remember what he'd said.

"What I was actually talking about was the time we spent all those late evenings just watching movies like this and just spending time together around the house. It was fun. Hercules even started to warm up to you a little." Smithers leaned closer, hoping Burns wouldn't notice, "I didn't even mind letting you have the bed while I took the couch."

"Hmm..." Burns' acknowledged tiredly.

"It was a lot less boring then. Now it seems like whenever I come home... it's just so empty here without you. I almost wish sometimes... that you would have stayed poor so you could have stayed here with me forever." Smithers admitted, becoming lost in his own thoughts.

Burns shifted his weight on the sofa, turning towards Smithers and patting him on the shoulder.

"Mmm, whatever you say... I just... that's... such a nice thing to say my lad." Burns held on to Smithers shoulder to steady himself as he stood shakily. "But I need to get home before my wife gets back."

He looked up at Burns managing to stand somehow, albeit a little shakily. It was almost comical, The man was babbling on about some wife he'd never had. Smithers suppressed his laughter. The combination of drinks and fatigue often had a humorous effect on people's spatial coordination. Burns, after a few inebriated steps, decided that standing wasn't the best option at the moment and he came to sit back down on the sofa, almost sitting in Smithers' lap.

"Sir? Do you want me to take you home now? I guess it was a little selfish of me to keep you up so late."

"Thank you... for the lovely evening... dear Wallace." Burns reached up and gently stroked his face with the back of his cool hand sending a shiver coursing through him from the contact. It seemed like an innocent, friendly gesture, but the way Burns was leaning in closer made it seem a little more intimate than that.

_Wait, did he just call me Wallace_? he thought. He would have been more shocked by this if he'd had the time, but what Burns did next seemed to wipe all thoughts from his mind. He slowly brought his slim hands to either side of Smithers' face and closed the distance between them. Burns was kissing him! Smithers sat, frozen. The sweet, tangy scent of the wine making him forget to breathe. He could feel a prickling sensation humming through him at the contact and his heart hammered in his chest. Burns' lips lingered against his for a moment before he finally pulled away, Smithers could almost feel the sparks left over from the kiss and brought his fingers to his mouth in disbelief.

It wasn't a kiss fueled by passion. Just a brief, awkward kiss that lingered on for one sweet moment, but the nerves and emotion it brought forth made those few seconds seem to last forever. Smithers only wished it had happened when Burns was sober enough to really mean it.

"Now, my Juliet." Burns slurred, "I must...ah... bit you farewell. Parting is such, sweet sorrow, that I shall...say good night till..." but he never did Shakespeare's immortal words justice as his body finally succumbed to the demands of sleep and he collapsed, his lithe physique draped across Smithers' lap.

He sat in silence for a moment, Burns' resting across his legs. This was all too sudden that he didn't even know what to make of it all. Burns had obviously been out of it, thinking he was some Shakespearean hero kissing Juliet. Smithers finally subdued his frantic heartbeat enough to relax and brought a hand to Burns' hair, running his fingers through the surprisingly silken, silvery tresses. The sleeping man's breathing was shallow and he looked as innocent as a child. That was something that Smithers saw in him that others didn't. His childlike innocence and his playfulness.

Smithers couldn't count the number of times they'd had money fights, throwing wads of cash at each other until they were exhausted and then giggling like a couple of schoolboys. They'd even had a few food fights that Burns would promptly make him clean up afterwords. Now, watching him sleep, it was hard to believe that this was the same man that had provoked terror in the hearts of many. The same man that had spearheaded vicious corporate coups, ran an ambitious political campaign, even attempted international espionage! Smithers was the only one to see the other side of him.

Perhaps it was the money that made Burns all crabby most of the time. When he had lost everything, he'd seemed more cheerful, more carefree. It was nearing eight thirty and Smithers continued to watch the movie a little longer. Considering what had happened he found it difficult to actually pay attention to the movie. His leg was getting a bit stiff from Burns' weight so he tried to stretch a little. The movement disturbing Burns, causing him to shift in his sleep and wrap an arm around Smithers' waist.

Smithers watched the movie for a while longer until he felt he could no longer keep his focus on the screen. The tape had come to an end leaving a constant blue screen; the glow of the TV illuminated the room casting an eerie blue hue upon their sleeping forms. They hadn't intended on spending the whole night camping out on the couch, but the stillness of the night had quickly approached and sleep had finally claimed them both.

* * *

**A.N - I don't know why this chapter was such a challenge to write. Had a few relatives visiting, one of them being my five-year-old demon cousin, giving me the perfect alibi for waiting so long to update! -**_**looks sneakily around the room**_**- Anyway, stay tuned for chapter six!**


	6. Am I Jumping the Gun?

**Chapter Six: Am I Jumping the Gun?**

It was almost daybreak; the sun would soon rise and another workday would be upon them. In the dark room, the two slept peacefully. Burns still using Smithers' leg for a pillow, an arm still clasped around his waist, the same way he'd often fallen asleep with his arm around his favorite childhood toy.

Burns shifted in his sleep as his mind slowly regained consciousness. He let his hand lazily drift upwards towards Smithers' chest, lightly skimming his fingers across the smooth, cloth shirt. He noted the strange texture of the material beneath his fingertips and the warmth it radiated. It didn't feel like the normal sheets he was used to from his own bed.

He leisurely crept his fingers across the strange, tactile material, wondering just what it was. He was too comfortable to get up just yet but he knew that it would probably be time to go to work soon. He reluctantly sat up on the sofa, blinking his eyes, but the darkness of the room prevented him from deciphering his whereabouts. He groped around blindly for a moment in his unfamiliar surroundings, his hands unknowingly trailed up Smithers' chest.

Finally his mind registered the situation he was in; it all became suddenly clear. They must have both fallen asleep on the sofa last night! Burns quickly jolted away from Smithers, falling off of the couch, his rear hitting the floor painfully.

"Uh... what happened?" mumbled Smithers as he rubbed his eyes. The commotion had most likely awakened his assistant. Burns sat in the floor, staring up at him with a stunned look on his face as his vision finally came into focus. The blue glow from the television cast just enough light for him to see Smithers sitting on the sofa and running his fingers through his hair tiredly.

"Sir, what are you doing down there?" asked Smithers.

"I guess we fell asleep on the couch!" Burns stared up at him with a look of disbelief at his calm demeanor. How could he possibly be so calm when Burns himself was so frantic? "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Well, the movie lasted a little longer than expected. I just couldn't bear to wake you." said Smithers as he stood, lending a hand out to help Burns get back on his feet. Once he stood up, Burns prudently brushed off his white shirt, wondering just when he had discarded his jacket and why.

"Oh? And just why is that?" asked Burns.

"Well, you just looked so..." Smithers' words trailed off suggestively.

"Just forget it. What on earth happened last night anyway? The last thing I remember was..." Burns stopped, the night's events vaguely returning to him in a jumbled blur. He remembered the way they were sitting so close on the couch, watching some epically long horror film. He remembered sitting there so close to Smithers and that he didn't really mind their proximity as much as he should have. He couldn't, for the life of him, recall any part of the movie.

Smithers exhaled as if bracing himself before he spoke, "Uh, you had a little too much to drink and..." Smithers walked over and flicked on the light switch causing Burns to flinch slightly at the sudden light. He couldn't help but be reminded briefly of the image of a vampire, recoiling from the unforgiving sunlight.

Burns did remember drinking a little last night, but he honestly didn't think he had gotten drunk! The slight pain he felt behind his eyes wasn't all that bad and he'd barely call it a hangover, yet it must be true since the last thing he remembered was Smithers giving him some sappy complement that he had thanked him for, his hand coming to rest against Smithers' cheek then pulling him closer until he could feel the soft lips against his own. _Had that really happened?_ Burns pinched the bridge of his nose in a fruitless effort to dull the impending headache.

"Smithers, you should have just taken me home when I asked!" Burns spoke irritably, still rubbing his forehead.

"I knew you would regret it, but I just couldn't do anything!" said Smithers, his hands raised in front of himself defensively. "I-It just happened so fast and before I knew it you were... on me and I just sort of froze!"

All Burns could remember was the kiss. It was a thought that mortified him, but not as much as the thought of what they might have done next. The way Smithers had said it, made him think that they had perhaps done more than that simple kiss. He didn't even want to think about that at the moment. That was the affect that alcohol sometimes had on the human psyche, the ability to repress unwanted memories of the night before. Why then, did his mind not block the out the kiss? Perhaps it wasn't an unwanted memory. The thought of losing all of his better judgment like that just creeped him out a little too much and all he wanted to do at the moment was to jump in the shower and scrub every inch of himself. The worse part was not remembering exactly what they had actually done.

"I need a shower." he muttered, before storming off to the bathroom.

Burns stood in front of the shower and quickly stripped his clothes, leaving them carelessly on the floor. Then he turned on the hot water, his hands shaking slightly as he turned the knob. After a few seconds he stepped in and slid the glass door shut. The hot water stinging against his bare skin, slightly too hot for comfort but at the moment the numbing heat helped to calm his nerves.

He closed his eyes and all he could see were images and flashbacks of his hands cupping the sides of Smithers' face; the little sound of excitement that came from his assistant when their lips met. To make things worse, the kiss wasn't quite as bad as expected; the feel of having someone so close to him even for a second was like food to a starving man. A childhood of little to no affection had left him craving to be the center of attention, whether it be from the crowds of people jumping to his every command or the many amorous relations he'd had with women, but to crave affection from Smithers seemed quite absurd.

If what Smithers had insinuated was really true then they had done much more than just that simple kiss, but why couldn't he remember the rest? He would have at least liked to have had some memory of the event that he was supposed to be so repulsed about.

He grabbed the first bottle he could find and squirted a hefty amount of the cool fragrant liquid into his hand. It didn't look much like any soap he had seen, but he scrubbed the substance all over himself anyway, furious when it didn't seem to produce any lather. What he didn't notice until later was that the bottle was labeled cream rinse. He grabbed the wash cloth and proceeded to scrub everywhere he could reach when a sudden voice jarred him back to reality.

"Mr. Burns, do you need any help in there?" came Smithers' voice, echoing from the other room.

"No, I'm fine!" he answered. In fact, he couldn't really reach his back very well, but he wasn't about to ask for help considering the circumstances.

After he had finished with his shower he turned the water off and slid the glass doors open, steam billowing into the room. He stepped out onto the pink floor mat, carefully planning in his mind what he'd say to Smithers when he saw him. The hot shower had left his skin with a slight red flush, a flush that only deepened when his gaze fell upon Smithers standing at the sink with nothing but a towel around his waist.

"Smithers!" he squeaked.

"Sir?" Smithers looked over to him, a razor in hand and his face covered by a thin layer of shaving cream.

"I-I was trying to take a shower!" yelled Burns, his eyes downcast to the floor shamefully and his hands modestly clasped in front of himself.

"I know, I just..." but his voice trailed off as he noticed Burns strange behavior, his uncharacteristic attempt to cover himself with his hands.

Burns quickly turned around and searched through one of the cabinets for a towel, for the first time self-conscious of his own nudity. He rummaged through the shelves but there were no towels in sight. '_What does he do, shake dry like a dog?' _thought Burns_. _Suddenly, he gasped as he felt something brush against his shoulder; Smithers was reaching over him to grab something from the top shelf and his chest had briefly brushed against Burns' shoulder. Smithers pulled a towel from the shelf and handed it to him.

"Is this what you were looking for?" he asked. Burns snatched the towel from him and hastily wrapped it around his waist. He slipped past Smithers in the horribly tiny bathroom without saying a word and hurriedly picked up his old clothes from the floor.

"I have some clothes in my room that you can borrow." Smithers offered, "They're a few sizes too large but-"

"No I'd rather just wear what I had yesterday." said Burns followed by a round of nervous laughter. He quickly slipped his arms into the sleeves of his white shirt and started buttoning the top.

"Well, if you're sure." said Smithers. He gave Burns a strange, inquisitive look before walking over to the shower and dropping his towel to the floor. Burns looked away quickly as Smithers stepped into the shower, closing the glass doors behind him.

Burns slipped on his pants and shoes from the day before and went back to the other room. He then grabbed his golden watch from the coffee table and his navy blue jacket from the hook near the door and slipped it on. The security and relief he felt by being fully dressed now returning. At least wearing his full business suit helped to restore his sense of authority and refinement. Now, if only he could remember where he had left his tie last night.

He sat down at the kitchen table, his hands characteristically tented as he played over the words he would say. He couldn't have this hanging over them uncomfortably for the rest of the workday and he knew he would have to bring it up before they left the house. After a few minutes of waiting, Smithers finally emerged from the bathroom.

"Well are we ready for work then?" Smithers casually buttoned his white shirt, his violet bow tie untied and hanging loosely about his neck as if nothing were out of the ordinary. Burns steeled himself, taking a deep breathe as he prepared to confront the uncomfortable situation.

"Smithers, I just don't get it." Burns looked down at the table where he sat, his fingers laced together. "How can you be so lackadaisical given what happened last night?"

"Oh," Smithers murmured, his own apprehension finally showing through in his voice, "I just t-thought you'd be more comfortable if I just... didn't bring it up anymore." he stammered.

"I remember part of last night, but the rest is just..."

"Sir, I know what happened must be horribly awkward for you but I assure you that you have nothing to be sorry for! You were under the influence! I knew the instant that it happened that you would regret it later."

"Then why didn't you just take me home when you saw that I was intoxicated!" Burns demanded, finally looking up at him. Smithers tugged at his collar uncomfortably.

"I don't know, I guess I just... I just wanted to stay up a little longer with you."

"Well it's all your fault Smithers!" Burns stood, feebly grabbing on to Smithers' shirt, threatening him. "You're the one that got me so liquored up that I lost all sense of decency!" Smithers pulled away from Burns' grasp and stood up from the table.

"Sir, I didn't get you drunk! W-wait a minute," Smithers paused, "what are we talking about here? What else do you think happened last night? Please tell me you don't think that... we had-"

"Well what else am I supposed to think?" Burns paced the floor a moment. "You said earlier t-that I... that I was all over you! Am I jumping the gun here or did we... did we do a little more than just that one kiss last night? Because I'm at my wit's end trying to sort out this whole twisted state of affairs!"

"Wait a minute you've got it all wrong! I can't believe you'd actually think that! All we did last night was that one kiss! I swear! Then you passed out in my arms and fell asleep!" Burns' anger was suddenly replaced with confusion.

"F-fell asleep? We just fell asleep?" he stuttered. With the humiliation starting to sink in, he felt the annoying irritation of his face turning red for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Of course! I respect you much more than that and you know it!" said Smithers. "I'd never think of actually taking advantage of someone that was drunk!"

"And considering the fact that I'm a man!" Burns added.

"Uh, yeah... that too... I guess."

Burns relaxed his posture slightly. So they hadn't done anything? It came as a huge relief and he instantly knew that he shouldn't have jumped to such outrageous conclusions.

"Smithers, find my tie, we're going to be late for work if you don't!" he quickly changed gears as he attempted to steer things back to some sense of normalcy.

"Certainly sir!"

Of course his assistant wouldn't take advantage of his inebriated state. In fact, if anyone were to be at fault, it would be Burns for initiating the kiss in the first place; not that he'd ever admit that of course. He was only glad that Smithers wasn't the kind of person that would torment him and make wisecracks about the whole misunderstanding.

Nothing more was said on the matter that day. That was just the way their twisted little relationship worked. Smithers usually knew just when to back off and step back into his role as the dutiful employee. Burns leaned against the wall near the front door, waiting for Smithers to fetch his tie. He finally found it under the edge of the sofa and brought it to Burns, attempting to put it around his neck.

"Give me that!" Burns slapped his hand away and snatched the tie from him. Just as they were about to leave, Hercules rushed into the room bouncing and scratching against Burns' leg.

"What on earth does that rat of yours think he's doing?" asked Burns, looking down at the hyperactive terrier gently pawing at his legs, "You should really get him fixed."

"No that's not what he's doing sir, he's just trying to say goodbye!" said Smithers.

"Oh, can't wait to get rid of me, eh mutt?" Burns chuckled, looking down at the dog which seemed to have gotten used to having him around rather quickly.

"I think he's starting to like you." Smithers picked up the little dog, straightening the blue bow in its hair. "Maybe he wants you to spend the night more often!"

"Don't push it Smithers." he warned. "—and why would you place that gaudy blue ribbon on the poor mutt? What must the other dogs at the park think of him?" Smithers laughed.

"That his owner has an awesome fashion sense. Now let's get going sir or we'll be late." said Smithers as they stepped outside. Smithers shut the front door and locked it behind them. Sure, all seemed normal, but Burns still couldn't control the tense feeling he had around Smithers. Their consistent, comforting banter helped to keep his mind off of it as they walked out to Burns' old '37 Bugatti waiting in the driveway.

"When we get to work, I'll get you a nice cool glass of water, it works wonders for a hangover." Smithers suggested.

"I don't have a hangover, don't bother." Burns retorted, waiting by the car door for Smithers to open it for him like always.

* * *

**A.N. - Deviated from the plot a little this time, but it was still a fun chapter anyway. Had sort of the classic, _Three's Company _type humor lol!**

**Up next: You probably guessed by the buzzword "synergy" in the story title, that Ms. Naegle would be making an appearance; you would be correct! She'll be stirring up a little trouble in the next chapter. Not that I'm going to do any extreme Naegle bashing though... She can be ruthless enough on her own! I kind of like her. She's like a female version of Burns... sort of.**

**So, I guess that's all for now. Thanks for the reviews!**


	7. Mirror Opposites

**Chapter Seven: Mirror Opposites**

The rest of the morning at the power plant was thankfully less eventful and neither had mentioned what had happened the night before, but no doubt, it was on both of their minds for a majority of the morning. It was about a quarter till eight and Smithers sat at his desk at the computer, filling out information in the employee database.

He had just finished all of the paperwork for the morning and had decided to kick his feet up on his desk and take it easy until Burns called for him. His thoughts drifted off to yesterday evening and all of the strange occurrences that happened. The way they sat watching the movie for hours on end, Burns snuggling up to him on the couch like he'd never done before. Then, there was the affectionate way Mr. Burns had referred to him as _'dear Wallace'_ before pulling him closer; taking his breath away for one sweet moment of indiscretion, his breath catching in his throat when Burns kissed him. He had actually kissed him! That thought alone was enough to keep him distracted for the rest of the day, but then, his thoughts backtracked as he recalled Burns' words. If he remembered correctly, Burns did indeed call him Wallace, but since he was distracted so distracted by Burns' kiss, it didn't really register with him until just now.

He distinctly remembered Burns mentioning Baines' name that night as well. So what did it all equate to? Was there some possible way that he could have gotten his hands on a copy of the story? Burns was no computer whiz and barely even knew how to turn one on so there was no way that he could have hacked into his computer and found it there; though, he wouldn't put it past him to hire a professional hacker to spy on him occasionally.

Though, if he really did read it, then he would most likely be out of a job by now. The humiliation would probably be too much and he just knew Burns would have overreacted and fired him. The prospect of anyone, let alone Burns reading it was nerve-wracking, even though he himself thought the story was fairly well written. He had seen Burns flip through the pages of his story briefly, and since the character's names were printed on nearly every page, it was no huge leap of faith to belief the he had simply read the names and they had stuck in him memory that night. He only hoped that was the case.

Then there was the whole crazy mix up that morning. Smithers couldn't believed that Burns had actually jumped to such a conclusion that they'd had drunken sex and had forgotten the next morning. The whole concept of it all seemed to come straight out of some of those sleasy, college movie. Smithers sighed tiredly; so much had happened in the last twenty four hours that if it were a story, it could have easily panned out into many chapters already. Suddenly, from the other room, he heard Burns calling.

"Smithers, come here!" called Burns, whistling as if calling a dog.

Smithers entered the office and saw Burns sitting at his desk, a stand-up mirror set up in front of him. He viewed himself vainly in the mirror with a comb in his hand, calculating the best way to tame his receding hair. Smithers stood, resting his fingertips against the desk and watching his boss curiously.

"Smithers, which do you think is my best side?" Burns asked, turning to look at himself from different angles in the mirror. "Left or right?"

"Why? Are you expecting a photo op with the press?" he asked, laughing at the randomness of Burns' question. "Any news stations stopping by today?"

"No, just out of curiosity."

"Oh, well my opinion, both sides are equally attractive sir, very photogenic. The cameras love you." said Smithers, slipping into full sycophant mode, "they're not the only one." he added quietly.

Burns ran the comb through his hair a few more times before sighing dejectedly. When it came to his hair, there weren't too many options to choose from, so he sat the comb and the mirror back inside his desk. Smithers had never seen Burns so uncertain about his looks. Maybe a few complements were in order.

"Clearly you don't need to worry about your looks sir." said Smithers, leaning over the desk slightly. "You've always seemed dashing enough to me."

"Yes, well..." Burns cleared his throat. Smithers noticed that the compliment seemed to have flustered Burns a bit more than usual. His reaction was intriguing and he and wondered what would be the affect of a few more carefully planned words of praise. Last night it had resulted in a kiss, albeit a drunken one.

"I mean, should you really tamper with perfection?" Smithers added, trying on his best flirtatious voice. "Even wearing those same old clothes from yesterday does little to diminish that certain air of sophistication and class emanating from you."

"Smithers," muttered Burns in a low annoyed tone, eyes downcast to his desk. "That's enough... Get back to work."

"Just one thing sir, is there any special reason you're so preoccupied with your appearance today?"

"Oh, no reason. Just trying to set a good example for the workers you know." Burns laughed as he began straightening his tie.

"Right." following Burns' example, Smithers straightened his own jacket a little. "Maybe I should go spruce up a bit too."

Smithers turned towards the door to leave. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but Mr. Burns seemed a bit more on edge than normal. Something was up that he wasn't telling him and he was pretty sure it had something to do with impressing a female. What else could cause Burns to make himself so picture perfect if it wasn't for either a woman or some staged, photo shoot?

"Before you go...," Burns spoke cautiously, causing Smithers to turn around, "there is this charity banquet coming up soon." Burns stood up and slowly approached him, hands clasped behind his back.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, anywho... of course being the richest man in the city, I was invited. I suppose they want me to open my pockets and offer some hefty donation."

"I think it's a great idea, you should donate." said Smithers.

"Well, I guess a donation would make a good impression and improve my image around the community. Lord knows I could use some positive publicity after that whole, 'plot to block the sun' fiasco!"

"Yeah, that was one of your more 'out there' plans." Smithers laughed. They were both oddly quiet for a moment. He could tell something was troubling Mr. Burns, but he didn't know if he should question him on the matter just yet.

"Smithers, ah..." Burns interrupted, breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"The invitation said I could bring a companion."

Smithers' heart skipped a beat or two. The prospect that Burns might be trying to ask him to be his date for the evening was cause for excitement. They went to many business dinners and charity galas in the past and even though he new they were always strictly business, just hearing Burns asking him was always worth it.

"Did you get an invite in the mail too?" asked Burns.

"Uh, no. I guessed they just supposed that you would bring me along like always." Smithers instantly regretted what he'd said; he had just ruined his chance to hear Burns ask him out, no matter how platonic the date would be.

"Hm, well thank you for saving me the trouble of asking you then. I don't really have anyone else to bring anyway so you will have to do." said Burns in a less than exuberant tone.

"Thank you for the um... enthusiastic invite. I can't wait." An alarm suddenly buzzed alerting him that someone had arrived on the premises.

"Ooh! They're here!" Burns exclaimed, jumping up a few inches off of the floor.

"Who's here?"

Burns ignored him and promptly flipped the switch at his desk, rotating one of the bookshelves into a wall full of security screens. Burns rushed over to the security monitors. Smithers followed and soon saw what had caught his interest. On the screen, there was a white van with the orange nuclear logo emblazoned across the side. It was the dreaded safety inspector's van.

"Yes! Right on time!" said Burns, wringing his hands with anticipation. So Burns had anticipated their arrival? Things such as safety inspections were usually sprung on them at the most inopportune of times.

"You mean, you knew they were coming?" he asked, staring at Burns in disbelief.

"Don't give me any grief about this Waylon, I know what I'm doing!" Burns whacked him on the arm, his gaze still focused on the two people exiting the van.

"I-I'm sorry sir, I just don't want to see you getting into trouble over this. I'm sure you know that messing around with the NRC like this is illegal." Smithers remembered the phone call from yesterday and instantly knew that this must somehow all be connected. He'd had the feeling that something shady was going on behind his back and that call must have been when he received the tip-off.

"Oh, don't be such a fussbudget." said Burns, turning towards him with his arms held behind his back mischievously. "Before you know it, I'll have charmed the skirt off of Ms. Safety Inspector!" Smithers couldn't help grinning at Burns, rocking back and forth, childishly balancing on his feet. No wonder he'd gotten his way all of his life, being as adorable as he was. It was either his charm or his impressive skills of intimidation that had always gotten him what ever he wanted.

"Well you could charm the pants off of me any day sir!" joked Smithers. Honestly, how his secret crush had remained a secret all these years was beyond him. He knew he really should use more restraint with such comments, but sometimes he couldn't resist.

Burns cringed slightly, turning his focus back to the screen. They watched as the group of inspectors, now about four of them, stood outside in the parking lot; two of them now headed towards the entrance. From the looks of it, they seemed to be two attractive young women.

"Mr. Burns, some safety inspectors have arrived." a man's voice sounds over the intercom.

"Great, send them up." Burns took a seat at his desk and Smithers stood near the door waiting for them to arrive. He still had never quite gotten used to sitting back and letting Burns blantenly break the law, but he kept his mouth shut for now. For Burns he would do anything. He only hoped his boss knew what he was getting himself into. Burns pressed the button on his desk, opening the large double doors and in strolled two very attractive female inspectors dressed in their usual long white coats. They passed by Smithers and approached Burns' desk.

One of them was a very intelligent looking woman with short blond hair that Smithers recognized as Ms. Naegle. He had seen her around town occasionally, though he'd never gotten to know her very well. Burns eyes traveled up and down her, seemingly pleased by her attractiveness. Smithers was already disgusted.

The other inspector was one that Smithers had never seen before, a pretty raven-haired lady wearing a bit too much makeup and jewelry for her own good. A woman that uncomfortably reminded him of his ex-wife in some strange way. She lagged behind, standing close to him as she waited for her boss to speak.

"Well it is certainly a pleasure see you Mr, Burns! I'm Lindsey Neagle remember me?" Ms. Naegle reached to shake Burns' hand.

"I'm sorry but the name doesn't ring a bell. Did we meet once in Cancun?" asked Burns. Ms. Naegle laughed heartily.

"No, I live right here in Springfield and we've both been to some of the same business functions in the area. We never really had a chance to talk though. It's a pity really, I've always wanted to get to know you! It seems we both have a lot in common!"

"Oh really? Well I'm surprised that I don't remember such a beautiful lady right here in my home town!" said Burns. "How could a rare flower such as yourself go unnoticed?"

"Oh your reputation precedes you sir! I've heard about your womanizing ways!" Ms. Neagle swatted a hand at him playfully. "Your quite the charmer aren't you?"

"Oh please..." Smithers mumbled under his breath. He turned away and took a few steps towards the door just to distance himself from the whole gratuitous scene. He kept his back to Burns, his ears still concentrating intently on the conversation. As he listened, he felt someone approaching from behind. It was the darked-haired inspector, her strong perfume reached him first, already making him nauseous.

"Well hello there babe, what's your name?" she asked in her noticeable, Long Island accent. He turned to greet her.

"Smithers, nice to meet you." he said, a little more dismissively than intended. He really didn't mean to sound rude, he was just more keen on hearing Burns' conversation. She continued talking and he nodded a few times, catching a few of Burns' amorous words in between. Suddenly she stopped talking, looking at him intently as if waiting for an answer to some question; it had caught him off guard.

"Huh?" he asked, scratching his head embarrassingly.

"Never mind, I see it on your name-tag. So you're Waylon huh?"

"Yeah."

"I can already tell you don't like me much do you? I can call you Mr. Smithers if you like." she said.

"What? No! I didn't mean to be rude; I was just... distracted by something." He looked over to see the object of his distraction, still chatting away with the blond inspector.

"Oh! Like what? You got some fantasy going on or something?" she laughed an annoyingly shrill cackle. She seemed like a nice girl, but he just couldn't believe that one woman could be so pushy and talkative; she was beginning to become annoying. She reminded him of some of the stereotypical gay guys that he knew from around his neighborhood that were far too interested in fashion, shopping and talked way too much. Smithers had more of a subdued, demur demeanor about himself, much better at blending in with the straight crowd and keeping himself in the closet, or so he thought anyway.

"No, its nothing like that I was just trying to hear Mr. Burns." he said as politely as he could muster.

"Ooh! Eavesdropping on the boss are you? Waylon have you no shame?" She said.

"But it's my job to be informed on all of Burns' business affairs!" said Smithers defensively.

"Cool it babe! I was only messing around!" she said. "Boy, you sure are sensitive! My name's Stella Shapiro by the way." Smithers noted her exaggerated hand gestures when she talked and wondered if she could even speak without moving her hands. Smithers laughed, she was actually sort of amusing be around once you got over her initial annoyances.

"Please forgive me for ignoring you, Ms. Shapiro." Smithers apologized.

"It's Stella. I'm not into being formal."

"Yes, I could tell." Smithers mused.

She laughs and slaps his shoulder lightheartedly. Finally, she finished her incessant talking and he could hear more of Burns' conversation. He was relieved that at least they had finally finished with all of the flirting and were speaking business talk.

"Excellent!" Burns rubbed his hands together deviously as he spoke, "We can discuss it more at length after the inspection." Burns seemed to have found a partner in crime and must have really liked some of the ideas that Ms. Naegle had.

"Yes I can't wait, I have some real proactive ideas that could revolutionize the plant and improve efficiency, tenfold!" said Naegle excitedly. "You have to be proactive, cutting edge, the paradigm of authority when it comes to budget management!" she proclaimed, shaking her fist into the air for emphasis. "You simply can't let the employees walk all over you with all of their higher wages and benefits. I've seen more and more establishment go out of business because they couldn't afford to cater to their high demands!"

Stella leaned closer to Smithers, nudging him sharply with her elbow.

"She said proactive twice, I think she's running out of buzzwords!" she whispered, snorting slightly as she laughed. Smithers found himself laughing quietly as well; apparently, Stella didn't like her any more than he did.

"Well, I suppose we'd better be going then, it was a treat to finally meet a successful business man such as yourself Monty. May I call you Monty? I know it just sounds so dreadfully unprofessional..." said Naegle.

Burns was practically giggling from all of Ms. Naegle's flirtatious praise. Smithers knew exactly how susseptible Burns was when you turn on the charm. Even some of the complements he'd given Burns in the past seemed to have had a similar affect on him. Ms. Naegle turned to leave, waving her hand at Stella, motioning her to follow.

"Bye babe, hope I get to see you around town sometime!" said Stella, waving to Smithers as she passed him on the way out.

Smithers waived awkwardly as the doors shut behind them. He breathed a huge sigh of relief, glad that he and Burns were finally alone. He hoped that he wouldn't have to see much of the inspectors for the rest of the day and he really felt drained from the whole experience of having to put up with not only Lindsey Naegle's interference, but also her assistant's apparent flirting with him. Sure it was flattering and he actually did get a thrill from knowing that he could attract a woman if he really wanted to, but he never really knew what to do with himself whenever a woman tried to flirt with him. He was just glad that he didn't have to work along side either one of them and couldn't wait for the inspection to be over so he would never have to deal with them again.

* * *

**A.N. - I know, nothing much really happened here but I felt the need for a chapter from Smithers' POV. I've got lots of action and drama planned in the future, especially when it gets to the banquet, so don't worry. Oh, and the chapter title refers to Lindsey and Stella being mirror opposites... What can I say? I was at a loss for a better title. xD Well... I thought it was clever anyway...**

**The next chapter should be up here soon since it is almost complete.**


	8. All of Seventeen

**Chapter Eight: All of Seventeen**

Mr. Burns sat in his office chair, tapping his fingers against the desktop and idly whiling away the time. The day was going just as Burns had planned. He'd met the beautiful safety inspector he'd talked to on the phone earlier and she was just as charming in person; they really seemed to hit it off from the moment they met. The team of safety inspectors were out there at the moment doing field work and testing various areas of the plant.

As part of their deal, Lindsey requested a position at the plant and as far as he was concerned, the job was hers. He'd not only be receiving a passing score on the inspection, he'd also be gaining what seemed to be a valued and knowledgeable adviser for the plant. One that really new how to improve efficiency and turn more of a profit. Sure, he knew that certain aspects of the deal weren't exactly legal, but he was an opportunist by nature; it was the secret to his success. After all, he didn't acquire such a vast fortune by simply following the rules.

He leaned back in his chair and his thoughts turned to Smithers and how jealous he seemed to be over Lindsey's flirtatious behavior. While he was talking to her earlier, he noticed how Smithers had walked off with a look of disgust as if he couldn't even stand the site of Burns flirting with someone. It felt strangely satisfying knowing that someone could be so jealous over him, even if that someone was Smithers. He kind of liked the feeling of having someone so obsessed over him, but he honestly wasn't sure how he felt about Smithers at the moment and the fact that he was so uncertain made him even more nervous.

Ever since this whole thing started, Burns, found himself constantly flustered around him and the tightness in his chest had him a little worried. It was either some silly, irrational emotion or an impending heart attack and either scenario scared the hell out of him.

Recent events had made him rethink everything in his life and he didn't like it. He was a creature of habit and any change in his life made him feel insecure. If he could have his way, everything in the world would just stay the same forever. No one would ever age, movies would still be called motion pictures and Laurel and Hardy would still be the talk of Hollywood. Most importantly, Smithers would always be his loyal assistant and irrefutably, his best friend. However, now that the possibility of a relationship with him was out there, no matter how unlikely it was, he couldn't stop his natural curiosity from leading his mind astray.

It was all because of that damn story; he knew that Smithers hadn't planned for him to read it, so there was really no point in getting angry at him about it. Burns reached down to open his desk drawer and pulled out the wrinkled pages of the story that had turned everything so upside-down. It was all in an unorganized pile since he had stuffed it in there so hurriedly last time he'd read it.

"So, he would have gone on the rest of our lives, without telling me?" said Burns to himself. He couldn't blame him either. Had he sprung such a confession on him with no warning Burns had the feeling his reaction would not have been good. He could just picture it; first he'd probably say something hurtful full of expletives and either fire him on the spot or totally dismiss the confession and embarrass him even further. Now that he'd had a little while to let it all sink in without Smithers even knowing about it, it had given him the time to sort everything out in his own way.

The last time he had read it, he had gotten to chapter ten and had dropped all of the unbound pages to the floor when he had gotten to the part where Smithers had accidentally typed Mr. Burns' name into the story when he had really meant Mr. Baines. Then he'd even typed Waylon instead of Wallace! Such evidence had left him little room for doubt.

He looked at the thick stack of papers on his desk, noticing that they were all labeled with a page and chapter number. Some of them even had little footnotes printed at the bottom and it amused him at how meticulous and organized Smithers could be sometimes. One thing in particular that caught his interest was that there were some pages labeled chapter eleven, twelve, even thirteen! He only remembered reading ten chapters. He must have been so shocked by what he had read and had failed to notice.

He tapped his fingers nervously on the table, debating on whether or not to read the rest. How could he not? Even though the story had some rather questionable content, how much more risqué could it possibly get? This was Smithers that had written it after all. He was actually excited to read more of the story and hurriedly searched thought the papers for the chapters he hadn't read. After it all was sorted, he flipped over the title page to chapter eleven and began to read.

* * *

_It was past nightfall at the Baines' household. The lavish stone manor sat in a small village on the outskirts of Bath and it was a place that Wallace Sylvie had called home for the past six years. Wallace sat out on the old, vine-covered stone wall near the front gates, looking up into the night sky. Whenever something troubled him he often came out and spent time looking up at the stars to sort out his thoughts._

_The young man was now seventeen and was eager to become a vampire just like Mr. Baines, but it seems that Baines was a little resistant to the change and every time Wallace questioned him on the matter, Baines would always stop him and say, "Maybe next year." and then promptly change the subject. It made him a little suspicious; just what was Baines hiding from him? Was there some reason that he didn't want him to become a vampire? Baines had raised him learning the ways of a vampire and now there just had to be some reason why he was suddenly so reluctant._

_Though, at the moment, there were more pressing matters consuming him. Baines was in the house right now with his new lady friend and Wallace couldn't bear to be in there for another moment, not while they were in there practically groping each other and making out on the living room sofa. Baines had had a lot of women over in the past, except this one was different._

_Her name was Loraine Belgrave and Baines seemed to have taken a real liking to her. She had been to visit on numerous occasions before and had no clue that he was really a vampire since he had never bitten her, but it was only a matter of time until she found out. Wallace wondered why hissharp fangs had failed to tip her off._

Burns stopped reading for a moment. He had the feeling that Smithers was writing from experience when he wrote about how jealous Wallace was of Baines' girlfriend. Of course he would be jealous of Burn's occasional relationships, it was only natural. He felt a slight twinge of guilt for making Smithers so miserable most of the time. It surprised even himself that he would feel guilty; after all, it wasn't his fault that Smithers was in such a sad state of unrequited love. It wasn't like he could change the situation.

As he read more of the story, there were a few boring chapters full of just dull drabble about Wallace pining away over a love he'd probably never have. He wondered what Smithers was thinking even writing such uneventful chapters. Was he really all that hung up over a love that seemed so hopelessly out of his reach? However, there was one redeeming chapter that caught his interest. It seems that Baines was spending a little more time out with his girlfriend lately giving Wallace a lot more free time on his hands, so he had begun tinkering around in the lab and learning how to read the mysterious symbols of the alchemy and of the various ways that different chemicals reacted to one another. He had made quite a few explosions in the lab on the first few tries and had to quickly clean them up before Baines returned to see the mess. Burns flipped the page, turning to the next chapter.

* * *

_It was well past midnight and most of the residents of Bath and the surrounding villages were asleep, but the center of the town was still buzzing with people who enjoyed the nightlife._

_One particular group of people had flocked to the city in droves that night. These weren't the regular, run-of-the-mill party goers out there for the music and culture of the historic city. These people were gathered there from all corners of the country and were members of the Vampire Society of Britain. Every year they held the meeting in a different city and this year it was being held in Baines' home town. Wallace had tagged along to the meeting with Baines and they'd had a lot of fun watching the talent show and all of the comedy sketches. Mr. Baines had even received an award for his contributions to modern alchemy._

_Baines was slightly nervous to bring Wallace along in a room full of potentially hungry vampires, but he was fairly certain that no one would dare harm him. First of all, it was against vampire code to harm an apprentice vampire and the others had a somewhat healthy fear of Baines. Even among vampire society, he garnered a certain amount of respect. Despite his intimidating reputation, he was often the life of the party with his subdued wit and charm. Wallace had more of a meek and quiet personality, traits he had retained from his parents strict upbringing._

_There was one lady in particular that always made such a fuss over Wallace and never failed to spot him in the crowd. Her name was Marie, a very motherly, slightly plump redheaded lady. It was the end of the meeting and everyone was leaving. Baines could see Marie looking around the room, no doubt searching for Wallace. The young man had managed to elude her the entire evening and was now attempting to hide behind Baines. He laughed at Wallace, clutching the back of his cape and looking apprehensively in Marie's direction. It wasn't that he disliked her, but he just felt awkward around her constantly talking about how cute he was, how tall he had gotten and pinching his cheeks painfully. Baines remembers Wallace telling him once that Marie reminded him of his over affectionate aunt Gerty. Suddenly, Marie spots them and rushes over, her heeled shoes clicking the whole way as she ran._

_"There you are!" said Marie with her usual cheerful voice, "It's so good to see you Morty! How've you been?"_

_"I'm doing just splendid and so is Wallace. He can't wait to see you." Baines felt a sharp kick in the back of his legs at the comment. Apparently, Wallace wasn't pleased at being ratted out._

_"Ooh! Where is he?" asked Marie, looking around the room eagerly. "Where is that cute little human boy of yours?"_

_Wallace sheepishly crept out from behind Mortimer's cape wearing his best fake smile._

_"Ooh, do my own eyes deceive me or are you nearly as tall as Morty now?"_

_"Hello, Ms. Marie. Nice to see you." says Wallace formally, bowing slightly._

_"Oh, what is with all of this Ms. Marie rubbish? I'm Auntie Marie to you!" She enthusiastically grabbed Wallace to her bosom in a crushing hug and he could barely breathe. The woman didn't know her own strength. Finally, after a few uncomfortable seconds, she released him and stepped back to get a better look at him._

_"Why, he's getting so big, isn't it time you went ahead and made him one of us? Lest anything bad happen to the poor sprout!"_

_"I will eventually, for now he still has much to learn of our ways." The question of when Wallace would become a vampire was uncomfortable for Baines and he hoped to change the subject. He just didn't want Wallace to change. Not yet anyway._

_"Our ways? Well what's there to learn? You bite someone and that's it! Of course one must learn the proper restraint, but that's all there is! Vampirism runs in the maternal side so I was born a vampire like dear old mum. It all came naturally to me!"_

_"Come along Wallace, we really should be leaving." Baines grabs Wallace's hand in an attempt to usher him out of the room. "It was a real treat seeing you again Ms. Marie."_

_"Aw, leaving already? Well, I hope to see you next year with a pair of fangs to go along with that adorable face!" She reached out and pinched the side of Wallace's face like always._

_"Sure... er maybe." he answered._

_"Come on!" Baines still had a firm grip on his hand and jerked him away; the two of them exited the building and walked into the dark side-alley, the perfect place to conceal their flight takeoff._

_When they got outside to the back of the building, various other vampires were already taking flight, partially concealed from the humans by the tall buildings and a simple concealing charm cast upon the area. The sight of dozens of vampires taking off into the night sky used to amaze him; it still did a little, but he seemed more distracted at the moment by Baines' strange behavior._

_"What was that about? Why such a rush to leave?" asked Wallace as Baines finally released his wrist._

_"Whatever do you mean?"_

_"Well, It just seems strange to me that whenever someone brings up the subject of me becoming a vampire, you never have a straight answer. Don't you want me to be immortal? Don't you want me to always be with you?" asked Wallace._

_"Don't be ridiculous, of course I do." Baines answered._

_"Then why not just change me now? I've been ready for years!" pleaded Wallace, grabbing on to Baines' cloak._

_"Perhaps next year?" Baines offered. He didn't know how else to reply. He knew Wallace was tired of the same old response every time and that it would most likely send him off into an angry tangent, but he was the boss here. He simply couldn't let the young man bully him into anything and he had to set him straight. _

_"Hmm, that's what you always say." he heard Wallace mumble as he hung his head, pouting like a child._

_"Hop on Wallace, I'm ready to go home." Baines turned his back to Wallace, motioning for him to climb on._

"_You know, if you'd just make me into a vampire, then I could fly on my own." said Wallace defiantly crossing his arms. "Then you wouldn't have to bother lugging me all over the city."_

_"That's enough." Baines scolded harsher than he'd meant to._

_Wallace sighed exasperatedly and climbed onto his back, making sure he had a secure grip. He wrapped his legs around Baines' waist and Baines held onto them tight as he rose from the ground and into the air. The flight home was silent and Baines had time to think about all that had happened that night._

_There were so many selfish reasons to keep him human. Reasons that would benefit no one but himself. The blood of another vampire simply wasn't the same as that of a human. If he were to make Wallace into a vampire, he would be giving up on the very thing that had bound the two together on that fateful night six years ago. Could he really give it up? That intoxicating, addictive blood was part of what had drawn him to the boy in the first place. He knew the time would come that he would have to make him a vampire one day, yet his addiction to Wallace's blood had made him selfish in that respect._

_He would have to do something soon whether he liked it or not. Wallace wasn't getting any younger and he couldn't bare the thought of watching such a young, vibrate boy grow old without him and eventually leave him alone in the world. He'd always remember Wallace being the timid little lab assistant that brought his own version of sunlight to his world of darkness whenever he entered the room. Maybe he could at least keep Wallace human for one more year. It was the same excuse that he had already repeated for the last two years._

* * *

_Wallace sat on the sofa, listening with childlike interest as Baines spoke. He was always such a good story-teller and Wallace often wondered how someone that spent most of his time down in his laboratory had such a charming and charismatic personality. He supposed decades of seducing his victims had really benefited his social skills._

_Baines had seemed slightly on edge for most of the evening, it was as if he had gone too long without a good hunt and was craving the life-giving blood of a human. Still, he was in an overall good mood so Wallace didn't give it much thought. Baines spoke spiritedly about some recent event that had happened in the park one night, reenacting some parts of the story very animatedly._

_"As the night drew on, I made my move. I brought his wrist to my teeth, but before I knew it the man had landed a punch, hitting me square in the jaw. I've never seen a human react with such quick reflexes!" Baines recounted excitedly._

_"Then what happened?" asked Wallace._

_"He reared back again to land another punch."_

_"Like this?" Wallace stood up and reared a hand back as if to strike. He often had a lot of fun reenacting the stories with Baines, always playing the part of the victim. He was a bit of a masochist in that respect._

_"Aye, but I was too quick for him," Baines forcefully grabbed Wallace's wrist, "I grabbed him just like this."_

_"Then what?" Wallace noticed just how passionate Baines was reenacting the story, almost as if he was reliving it and it unnerved him a bit seeing the dangerous look in the man's eyes._

_"Well, I let him struggled a bit and then..." Wallace felt himself being thrown to the sofa, Baines on top of him, pinning him. "I threw him to the ground."_

_Wallace lay beneath him, wide-eyed at being so forcefully thrown and by the fact that Baines was pinning him with all his weight, legs straddled tightly around him. The vampire's adrenaline level seemed to be on overload suddenly and he had such a fierce, predatory look in those chilling, grey eyes as he stared down at the young man beneath him. Wallace had seen the look before and it was one of need, of hunger._

_Wallace looked away. He'd never been able to look at those intense eyes for very long. He could feel Baines shifting his weight and leaning closer, breathing against his neck. His mouth trailing up Wallace's neck to just below his ear. His mouth sort of hovered just above the skin's surface, as if debating over some inner turmoil on whether to follow his instincts or not. Whatever he was doing was driving Wallace mad with desire and he accidentally let a moan escape him. He tensed up, he hadn't meant to make a sound and only hoped that the lust in his voice wouldn't snap Baines back to reality._

_He was on edge; even though he trusted Baines, he was still a vampire after all and it was a little nerve-wracking having such sharp fangs so dangerously close to his throat. His trust blinded him to the potential dangers of the situation._

_Wallace braced himself for the sharp stinging of fangs that he knew would eventually follow, but it never came. Instead, he felt something far different. Baines was kissing his neck! The minutes seemed to drag on as Baines slowly traced an erratic path of kisses across his throat, occasionally grazing his teeth across the smooth, unmarred canvas that had gone for so long, unpainted... unpierced._

_Baines soon came to an abrupt stop and Wallace turned to look at him; he could see the apprehension starting to build behind those stormy eyes and realization of what he was really doing starting to set in. Baines was starting to over analyze everything which meant that some of his self control was returning._

_"Sylvie." he uttered, using the boy's rarely spoken surname._

_"Mm... don't stop." Wallace answered._

_"Wallace," he spoke breathlessly, "y-you actually like... being bitten?"_

_"I wouldn't exactly call what you were doing...biting."_

"_You're just too young...for this." Baines stated, his voice barely more than a whisper._

"_I am all of seventeen in case you had not noticed." stated Wallace in his matter-of-fact tone._

"_Far too old for this to be mere, childish tomfoolery then... as it once was." Baines was referring to the way they would wrestle just like that, on the sofa in his younger years. He would hold him down and pretend to bite his neck and tickle him until Wallace was out of breath from laughter. Only now the game seemed to have taken on a different angle as Wallace couldn't seem to control the desire in his voice whenever Baines touched him. They sat quietly for a moment._

"_I don't know what came over me. I felt an overpowering need... to bite. I had to do anything... to keep from harming you. Ah... I had to kiss you to keep from biting. Even now I find myself fighting the urge to..." his words grew silent, perhaps afraid of what he might say next._

_"Mortimer. You can bite if you want, it doesn't hurt much, or you could do other things..."_

_"Do you know of what you speak boy? If you had but one grain of sense in that mind of yours-"_

_Wallace cut off his words and took a huge risk. He scooted out from underneath Baines and reached up to claim his lips. He knew any contact such as that was likely to push aside any shred of control that Baines clung to. He ran his tongue across the older man's lips causing him to gasp. Baines seemed very unsure of the position they were in an actually remained motionless for a moment before finally gripping onto Wallace in an almost painful embrace. Wallace found himself, once again pinned beneath the vampire against the luxurious cushions of the sofa._

_The bloodsucking instincts seemed to be gone and replaced by some other need as Baines once again kissed his neck. Wallace turned his head towards Baines, attempting to gain access to those lips that were currently leaving trails of kisses along his jaw line. Baines was a little hesitant to begin with but he finally found Wallace's lips with his own. Wallace didn't know how to react and his mind felt kind of hazy from it all. He had only been kissed by three people that he could remember: his mother, once from a girlfriend he'd had and now Baines, but he had never made out with anyone. Now he found himself beneath the man, sharp teeth occasionally grazing his lower lip and his heart was racing. He knew that his rapid heart rate would only turn Baines on even more as he'd heard him occasionally mention that the quickening pulse of his victims excited him. What if Baines became too turned on? Wallace wasn't sure if he could handle the full unbridled ardor of the vampire, even if he had waited for Baines' love for so long._

_"Mm...!" cried Wallace, catching his breath as Baines caught him off guard by deepening the kiss._

_Wallace snaked his fingers through the man's short, silver hair. He became a little bolder, a little more sure of himself and playfully met Baines' tongue as it once again snaked its way back to his. Wallace felt fingers sensually crawling along his chest to below the rim of his shirt. Baines wasn't acting like himself and Wallace felt kind of guilty for letting him continue knowing that he would only regret it later, but that didn't mean he was about to stop him! Baines ran his fingers underneath Wallace's shirt and across the sparse hair that lightly covered the teen's chest._

_Wallace gasped, those expert fingers sending shivers through him. He was sure that Baines could feel just how aroused he had become since he was laying so flatly across him and he didn't know whether to feel mortified by this or not. He supposed Baines wouldn't disapprove since he seemed to be in the same condition as himself. Baines continued his exploration of Wallace's chest and his mouth. Wallace's hands ran up his back as he began to feel more confident._

_They continued on like this for a few more moments, both foregoing words as Baines stripped off Wallace's green shirt, ripping it to shreds with one grasp. Once he had him stripped from head to toe, Wallace couldn't help shivering and he wasn't sure if it was from the cold air or Baines' icy, silver eyes fixed intently on him. He brought his mouth to Wallace's belly, trailing lower until he heard Wallace breathe in sharply._

Mr. Burns hesitantly laid the pages back on his desk, his fingernails practically chewed down to the skin. He didn't know if he was brave enough to read what was to come next. Of course it was Smithers that had written the story so he thought the whole thing would have been fairly tame. Should he even read the rest of that chapter or just skip ahead? If he did read it, he supposed he could view it as educational. He'd always been slightly curious as to just how two men could do anything even fairly similar to the sex acts done the normal way. He quickly scanned ahead a few paragraphs, wincing slightly at the more graphic parts. All the heavy breathing and everything that went with it was a little too much detail for his liking. Did Smithers really think it was all beneficial to the story? He found himself blushing furiously as both characters neared their climax and had to admit to himself that it was definitely an arousing chapter if that was the effect that Smithers was going for.

* * *

**A.N. - o_O I think I need a cold shower.**

**This chapter was getting way too long so I stopped it here. To be continued. Forgive me if there is a real "Vampire Society of Britain" out there somewhere. Didn't mean to use the title of a real group. XD**


	9. The Wishbone

**Chapter Nine: The Wishbone**

Mr. Burns sat at his desk, stunned by what he had just read. "An arousing chapter? No! I did not just think that!"

It was almost as if he'd forgotten the gender of the two people involved as he'd read. He only wished he could get the images provoked by the story out of his head. They would certainly prove to be a distraction from work for the rest of the day and perhaps even days to come.

Though, when he stopped and thought about the story objectively, it had taken quite an unexpected turn. Wallace would often go on and on about how much he wanted Baines and then the two were suddenly thrust together with no real explanation. It seemed sort of unrealistic. Love rarely ever turned out like that, especially when it was unrequited. The cold hard truth was that many people, especially when the love was so unconventional as in the story, never end up with the one they truly desire. Maybe Baines' lust for Wallace's blood played a factor in it. He picked up the last few pages, wondering what the outcome would be as he read.

* * *

_It was morning and the vampire and his apprentice lie tangled beneath the sheets of the ornate canopy bed. The sun was casting an uncomfortable light into the room and Wallace knew it was only a matter of time before Baines awoke from the irritating sting of the sun. Contrary to popular belief, the sun wouldn't instantly kill him, but it was definitely harsh on his sensitive skin given prolonged contact._

_Wallace pretended to be asleep as he felt movement next to him. Mr. Baines climbed out from under the sheets and sat up on the edge of the bed. He wondered what was going on in the man's head, whether or not Baines was just as nervous as himself. He was so cold and detached most of the time, that being nervous just didn't seem in his nature. The bed felt suddenly empty as Baines stood and walked over to pick up his discarded clothes from the floor. Wallace dared to take a peek as he had never seen him in such a state of undress, pale skin and tall lanky features even more gorgeous unfettered by clothing. Even last night, everything had happened so fast he had barely even gotten the chance to look at that slim, strong physique._

_Mr. Baines normally dressed so formal and he'd rarely ever seen him without his perfectly groomed appearance and immaculately tied cravat. He was a regular Beau Brummell, only his taste in clothes were a bit dated by modern standards of the day since he hadn't completely gotten out of the lace and frills of the previous century._

_He watched through squinted eyes as Baines quickly slipped on his white undershirt and then crossed the room to draw the curtains closed, effectively darkening the room to a comfortable level, just enough to see._

_He closed his eyes and remained motionless as he sensed Baines approach him. He felt the edge of the bed depress from Baines' weight and felt the warmth of Baines kissing his forehead briefly, most likely assuming Wallace was still asleep. As he felt Baines moving away he impulsively gripped his shirt, preventing him from leaving. Baines stared at him apparently surprised by Wallace's sudden wakefulness._

_"I-I didn't mean to... wake you." Baines muttered, his voice uncharacteristically faltering. Wallace's hands still clutched the ruffles of Baines' shirt. He was practically half way on the bed, leaning over Wallace. After a long silence, Baines pulled away from his grasp apologetically._

_"I have to get to work. It would be for the best to forget last night, I'm sorry." said Baines as he took a few steps back. Wallace felt horrible for making him so regretful. He just knew the whole thing was his fault since there was one particular secret he had been keeping from Baines for the past few weeks; a secret that most likely fueled his loss of inhibitions. Wallace had secretly changed a few of the key ingredients in the bloodlust serum rendering it useless. In effect, Baines had been taking the concoction for the past two weeks but it had done nothing for him. Wallace, on the other hand, had been showered with attention, almost to the point that Baines refused to let him out of his sight and had become overly possessive. Even at the vampire meeting, he'd become dangerously jealous when anyone paid even the slightest attention to him._

_He knew Baines would be infuriated if he found out, but the guilt of Baines blaming himself for his lack of control made Wallace want to come clean. _

_"I'm the one that should be sorry." confessed Wallace against his better judgment. He sat up on the bed, the sheets pooled around his bare waist and he suddenly felt even more naked now that Baines stood across the room slipping the rest of his clothes on. He swallowed nervously as he prepared for the oncoming outrage he knew was to come._

_"Hmm?" asked Baines confusedly as he tucked the shirttails into his trousers. He inched closer to Wallace and sat down on the edge of the bed._

_"Well... ah...apparently the serum has lost effectiveness. Have not you noticed?" Wallace hung his head, unable to meet his gaze, "Twasn't your fault..."_

_"Wait, You are not at fault. Why should you feel sorry?" asked Baines._

"_The serum, with it's distinctiveness to mimic the dynamic and varying chemical releases into the blood of any individual, controls the brain's addiction to any one human's blood, thereby nullifying the dependency, does it not?"_

_"Impressive. When, may I ask, did you accumulate such knowledge? I have no books on the particular subject of the Sanguis Cupidas serum, seeing as I am the inventor. Perhaps you've read about it in my notes?"_

_"Er, well I guess..." he mumbled. He knew how the man was about his lab. He was only allowed in there when Baines was around to supervise what he was doing; he didn't trust anyone when it came to his laboratory._

_"Wallace, please tell me you haven't been meddling around in my lab again!" said Baines, his voice raised in anger as he stood up next to the bed. "Did you tamper with any of the vials or chemicals I had set up?" _

_"I'm sorry..." said Wallace._

_"Alas! It's all so clear now!" yelled Baines as he paced the floor. "It seems that for the past fortnight, my voracious craving for you had returned, this time it wasn't your blood that I wanted."_

_"I'm sorry!" said Wallace. He stood up from the bed, drawing the sheets up around his waist, ever the modest fellow. "I had no idea..."_

_"Had no idea? Of the dangers, I have warned you countless times! Becoming too close... too intimate with a vampire without the wherewithal of learning the consequences! The dangers of fooling around in my lab?" Baines voice was becoming louder and more fueled by rage the more he spoke. "You knew I could potentially kill you without that potion, yet you fool around with your life so carelessly!"_

_"Well... when I see you with Loraine or anyone else for that matter, even one of your victims, you always give them so much attention. It seemed that blasted potion was keeping you from me. I desired things back the way they were, back before you invented the serum."_

_"But things aren't back to the way they were are they? What we did last night was nothing but the withdrawal effects of the potion! Is that what you wanted? Lust driven, meaningless fornication? You've only made things worse! I can't even bare the sight of you!"_

_Before Wallace knew what had hit him, he felt a sharp sting of Baines' hand across the side of his face. He then found himself alone in the room as Baines had bolted out and left him there. He brought a hand to his face, skin still burning from the impact._

* * *

A sudden jarring noise interrupted Burns from his reading; it was Ms. Naegle. Burns inconspicuously stuffed the story in the top drawer of his desk and quickly propped his elbows on the desktop, tapping his fingers together innocently as Lindsey stalked up to his desk.

"Ms. Naegle? I didn't hear my intercom announce your arrival." said Burns. He had been so engrossed within the story that he'd been startled by her sudden appearance, bursting through his doors. "Just out of curiosity, how did you get past the security?" questioned Burns.

"You call that scrawny excuse for a doorman security? Anyway, I have something in my hand that you'll just die from excitement when you see!" He really supposed he should be angry or at least a little concerned over her blatant breach of security, but at the moment she had piqued his curiosity as he eyed the black folder held in her hand.

"What is it?" he asked.

She slapped the folder down on the desktop in front of him. Burns looked up at her as she grinned mischievously and he wondered just what all of this was about. He took the folder and flipped it open. It looked suspiciously like some official, safety commission issued, inspection papers that the inspectors would normally fill out when they gave the plant a standardized grade. He scanned over the area where he suspected to find the passing scores that she had promised only to find that all of the fields were empty. It looked like she hadn't filled in any of the sections.

"I don't get it." he stated flatly, setting the papers back on the desk. "Why give me a blank inspection report?"

"Why, so you could fill it out of course! Haven't you always wanted to get your hands on one of these blank reports give your plant a passing grade?" she asked, seeming to know just how to suck up to the boss; almost at a level that could rival Smithers' ability. Burns stared at the papers, stunned that she would even present him with such an opportunity. How much was this woman willing to bend the laws just for Burns to hire her? She already had the job as far as he was concerned, but he had to admit that the opportunity to grade his own plant sounded too good to pass up. Was this a trick?

"Ms. Naegle, I could just kiss you!" said Burns excitedly.

"Well, don't you think we should at least be on a first name basis then?" she said, her voice laden with the usual flirtatious tone she always used with Burns, despite the normal business voice she always put on for everyone else.

"Yes, that would make sense... Please, feel free to call me Monty!" said Burns, leaning forward in his seat slightly as he rested his elbows on the desk. Always a suspicious one, Burns didn't quite know what she was playing at, but he could play this game as well until he figured out her true motives.

"Of course Monty! Now hurry and fill out those reports so you can think of where we'll be going on our date tonight!"

"Date?"

"Already have plans? I'm sure a man such as yourself has tons dates lined up, don't you?" she purred, leaning closer over his desk.

"Oh, I think I can fit you in somewhere. Why, it just so happens that I am free tonight!" Of course he was free tonight, he hadn't been on a date for months if he discounted his occasional outings with Smithers. Of course he would discount those, but a little embellishments when it came to his social calendar never hurt.

"Great! Uh, you know Monty, Just to make it look a bit more authentic, don't make your scores too high or else they'll get suspicious!" said Ms, Naegle, gesturing towards the paper. "I mean, no plant can have that drastic of an improvement in just one year!"

"Right, good thinking. You know, Smithers would have suggested the same once he'd overcome the moral implications of breaking a couple of little, insignificant laws." said Burns as he filled in the inspection report, doing his best to disguise his handwriting.

"Smithers... isn't he the annoying little fellow that follows you around all the time like a puppy?"

"Yes, that would be him." Burns answered, laughing quietly at her description of his assistant.

"Hmm, I have to remember to get one of those suck up types. My assistant isn't nearly as dedicated to her job! How did you train him so well?" asked Neagle.

"Uh..."

Before he could answer, Smithers came walking in; the lovely yet annoying raven haired inspector clutching his arm and chatting incessantly about an extra toe she'd had removed as a teenager.

"Ever since then I can wear any shoe I want. Pumps, Stilettos, open-toed shoes galore! I've been an avid shoe collector ever since! You should see my closet!" Stella boasted as she held onto Smithers' arm. "They chopped that sucker right off my foot and they even let me take it home in a jar!"

"Ugh... I think I'm going to be nauseous." Smithers muttered.

"I got some pepto in my bag, works wonders for nausea, my mother swears by it." said Stella, rummaging through her designer handbag. By the looks of it, Smithers seemed rather irritated by the overly affectionate woman and for some reason, Burns found this as a bit of a relief, as well as amusing to watch. Could it possibly be that he was becoming jealous of the strange lady's amorous behavior toward his assistant?

Whether or not he was becoming jealous didn't concern Burns as much as the look of envy Smithers was shooting in his direction upon spotting him still chatting with Ms. Naegle. It didn't take long before Smithers was by his side, standing next to his desk as always. Apparently his assistant had his own jealousy issues and he couldn't deny that it felt a little gratifying.

"Here, let me sign the bottom! You don't want your signature there!" Ms. Naegle quickly grabbed the pen from Mr. Burns and jotted her name down at the bottom of the document. "You'd practically be incriminating us both!" she muttered below her breath.

"Oh, right. Sounds like you've forged your share of documents in the past, eh Lindsey?" asked Burns jovially.

"Well, let's just say I've walked a fine line with the law a few times!" said Lindsey speaking in hushed tones as shy eyed his assistant suspiciously. It appeared that she preferred to keep the whole deal under wraps.

This woman, no matter what sort of game she was playing with him, was intriging. She was just the kind of likeminded individual that he was sure the two of them could potentially make a formidable pair, whether in a business partnership or something more. He'd always had a thing for blonds as well.

Lindsey seemed the perfect person to invite to the banquet since she was well connected in the business world, well spoken, charming, not to mention beautiful. All of the guys would definitely be jealous when they saw him walking in with her on his arm. Burns stood up from his seat and walked over to Ms. Naegle, contemplating what he was about to ask.

"You know Lindsey, if I may be so bold, there is this charity banquet Saturday night. Would you like to accompany me?" Burns asked hopefully, leaning closer and nudging her with his arm.

"Charity huh? Sure, sounds like fun!" she chimed excitedly.

"But sir? I thought you were going with me?" Smithers spoke, breaking into the conversation and boldly grabbing onto Burns' arm. An action that seemed almost possessive, as if he were trying to physically distance Burns from the blond inspector.

"I'm sorry Mr. Smithers, but he invited me!" stated Naegle defiantly as she grabbed onto Burns' other arm. Burns felt almost like the wishbone between two young children, both fighting over who would get the largest piece. He hadn't felt so wanted in quite a while and it felt pretty gratifying, he only hoped that they wouldn't end up snapping him in half in true wishbone tradition!

"You'll just have to find some other entertainment that night." said Ms. Naegle dismissively.

_'Oh! That's right! I did ask him first! This is going to be really awkward...' _thought Burns. Before, he would have just told Smithers to man-up and get over it. Now, he surprised himself to think that he would actually feel sorry for Smithers. Ever since reading the story, he had sort of formed a new perspective on the hardworking, dedicated assistant of his and his whole view on their relationship had somehow become all muddled up to the point where he didn't know how he truly felt anymore.

He was in a real predicament this time! Now he had two dates for the banquet and he would have to come to a decision and fast. Both stood staring at Mr. Burns, waiting for a response. He was at a loss for words and simply couldn't find his voice enough to speak. Why did Smithers feelings have to come into account? He could just tell Lindsey that he that he had a prior commitment and be done with it, but how could he turn down a beautiful woman just to go out with Smithers? What would people think? Besides, he went out with Smithers all the time; what difference would one silly banquet make?

"I'm sorry Smithers," Burns offered, sympathetically, "but you and I can always go to some other event. You understand don't you?"

"Of course, I always step aside when it comes to you and your countless girlfriends don't I?" Smithers replied, clearly crestfallen as he let go of Burns and crossed his arms dejectedly. Lindsey triumphantly clutched onto Burn's arm tighter as if she had won some prize, a boastful grin across her face. She had ultimately gotten the biggest half of the wishbone and had won this round.

He simply couldn't turn Lindsey down; there was just too much riding on it. They both had practically broken the law and she knew too much incriminating information about him now that he didn't dare turn her down. She had the upper hand and he just hated it when others controlled his actions. Yet somewhere in his mind, he had the feeling that he would have preferred to have gone to the banquet with Smithers despite his obvious attraction to Lindsey Naegle.

"Great," Lindsey interrupted, "I can't wait! Say, Monty, have you decided where you want to go on our date tonight? I'm up for a night of fine dinning and dancing!"

Burns winced at Naegle's sudden comment. He just remembered that he and Smithers already had plans that night to go shopping for some formal-wear for the banquet. Most likely Smithers wouldn't even be able to go to the event now since he was only just coming as Burns' guest. Even though it was just another charity event to Burns, Smithers had seemed very enthusiastic about the whole evening. It was a pity that he had to turn him down twice in one day. Talk about adding insult to injury!

"So... you two have made plans for tonight too?" asked Smithers.

"Smithers, I know what you're thinking... but we still have two days before the banquet. We can go shopping tomorrow can't we?"

"Well, since I'm not going to the banquet anymore then I don't really need a new suit do I?" snapped Smithers, The poison in his voice stinging quite painfully for for someone not so accustomed to expeariencing sympathy for his assistant. It was quite uncharacteristic of Smithers to snap back at him like that, but Burns supposed he deserved as much and he let it slide. It wasn't in Burn's nature to feel remorse, but Smithers had somehow been drawing it from him on a regular basis lately.

Stella cleared her throat to speak, causing everyone to look in her direction as she sat on the edge of the desk.

"Well I don't have a date now either," said Stella. "Lindsey was going to take me until Mr. Burns asked her. Why don't you just go to the banquet with me Waylon? Problem solved!"

"You mean have an invite?" asked Smithers in disbelief.

"Oh, for sure! Don't look so surprised!" Stella replied, "I'm pretty well connected myself, surprisingly enough." Most of those sorts of events were pretty exclusive. Normally they were just an excuse for the local business tycoons and affluent citizens of Springfield to get together to socialize and network. It really was somewhat surprising that Stella had an invite; someone who was practically a nobody from Shelbyville with manners and sensibilities Burns considered along the lines of the nouveax riche that certainly didn't seem to mesh well the stuffy, high-class circles Burns ran with. Smithers must be feeling pretty insignificant if someone like her got an invitation and not himself.

Then again, the people that arranged the event probably assumed that he'd bring Smithers along like always. It made him wonder what people really thought about the true nature of their relationship. People might have already assumed they were together in a romantic relationship for years. Whenever anyone mentioned Burns' name, Smithers' name went right along with it. It was like everyone already thought they were a packaged deal and it was a little uncomfortable to think of all the rumors that might be floating around that he'd been so blissfully unaware of.

"I'm not sure, Stella. I mean we practically just met and..." Smithers hesitated. He was trying to find a polite way to turn her down.

"Oh, its just for fun anyway. Besides, you'll just be sitting home alone anyway. Why not come with me and join in on the fun. You like to dance?" Stella asked.

"Well, I'm not as good as Mr. Burns at dancing but-"

"Great! So we'll go together then?" she asked excitedly, not even waiting to hear his reply. She certainly seemed like one that wasn't accustomed to being turned down.

"Mm... sure. Why not?" answered Smithers halfheartedly. Burns wondered just how someone could be so accommodating and polite that he'd go out of his comfort zone to go with Stella when it was clear that he didn't want to.

"Awesome! I'm going to really show up that snobby Alice from accounting when she see's my date!" Stella cheered excitedly pumping her fist in triumph. Smithers laughed unenthusiastically. After a moment, Burns spoke up, deciding that they'd all had enough idle chat.

"Now, back to business." said Burns, "What would you say if I hired you on as the new budget efficiency advisor? You seem to have a lot of knowledge in that area." Burns complemented Ms. Naegle, playing the safe route and not mentioning in front of Smithers, any illegal activities that may have occurred earlier.

"I'd say that title has a nice ring to it!" Naegle said.

"Then you're hired! When can you start?"

"Tomorrow? I think that can be arranged. The safety commission can't wait to get rid of me anyway, so screw them!"

"Excellent." said Burns. "I can't get an honest advisor since all the others I've hired are all just lame yes-men, afraid to challenge my ideas."

"Don't worry; I'm one that really believes that a business runs on the synergy of great minds such as ours." stated Ms. Naegle.

Both Smithers and Stella looked irritated as Naegle prattled on with one of her impromptu motivational speeches. Honestly, the women must have attended one too many seminars.

"I've got lots of good ideas for this place." she continued, "I can have this place running at peak efficiency in no time!

Smithers seemed to take Naegle's speech as his cue to leave; Stella followed closely behind leaving Burns and Ms. Naegle once again alone in the office. Burns felt slightly nervous and decided to walk across to the other side of the room, his desk between them both, giving him a little security and distance from her. He was normally so confident around women, but something about her straight forward assertiveness unnerved him a bit. She was a bit too much like himself and with they way she was staring at him from across the room, he decided to keep a safe distance.

Ms. Naegle smoothly sidled closer, climbing over the desk, her knees on the desktop. She reached out and without saying a word, grabbed the front of Burns' navy blue jacket and forcefully pulled him closer and kissed him eagerly and with such passion that he hadn't seen in a while. In his mind, flashes of the other night when he had kissed Smithers raced through his thoughts and he was taken aback! He wasn't supposed to be picturing Smithers! This moment was suppose to be all Lindsey and there he was shamefully picturing Smithers as the one draped over the desk and clutching on to him desperately. Burns was sure that he seriously needed psychiatric help.

Finally, she released him and stepped off of the desk, straightening her white coat. Burns fell back into his seat, clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breath. Just who did she think wore the pants in this relationship?

"Well then, I guess I'll see you tonight? You've got my number." said Naegle rather confidently.

"I do?" asked Burns unsteadily, still gripping his chest.

"Yeah, I slipped it into your pocket. I gotta go, bye Monty!"

She left the room and as the double doors slammed shut, Burns stood there behind his desk, certain that he must be insane to be thinking of kissing Smithers again. Those thoughts should have already been put behind him tried and tried to rationalize it the best he could. It was natural to have unwanted images invade the thoughts sometimes right?

* * *

**A.N. - It seems Mr. Baines has a penchant for wearing lace trimmed shirts. I guess real men can get away with wearing lace. At least in those days. I suppose some still do...**

**This story seems to be stretching out longer than I'd thought. Just my writing style I guess. Either that or I go into way too much detail... I blame it on my English teachers constantly drilling into my mind to, as they say, "Now say it with me boys and girls... ELABORATE! Show the story, don't just tell what happens." I guess too much elaboration isn't good either though. xD I'll try to keep it balanced!**

**Thanks for all the reviews! Really means a lot! You guys rock. :)**

**To be continued.**


	10. Needing a Distraction

**Chapter Ten: Needing a Distraction**

It was late evening; the skies over Springfield were full of rich orange and pink tones as the sun finally made its descent past the skyline of the city. The Springfield Drive-In Theater was packed with cars, mostly couples since it was one of the most romantic venues the city had to offer. Why Waylon picked such a spot to go for the evening was beyond him.

Yet there he sat, in his car with nothing but his diet soda and Nickolas Cage on the big screen to keep him company. The movie of the night was City of Angels, arguably one of the best movies of the 90's in Smithers' opinion. He watched as Seth leapt from the skyscraper, plummeting to the ground in slow motion in one of the most iconic scenes of the film. Even though he'd seen the movie dozens of times, at least it succeeded in keeping his thoughts away from Mr. Burns and his date, even if for a moment.

He took a sip of his Coke and then checked his wristwatch; it indicated that it was about a quarter past eight. He imagined that Mr. Burns was probably living it up in some swanky upscale restaurant somewhere. He could just see Mr. Burns showing off his fancy footwork and dancing amongst a roomful of admiring onlookers. He couldn't believe that Mr. Burns had actually brushed him off and decided to go with Lindsey to the banquet and it came as somewhat of an insult. He should have been furious, yet he knew he should have expected it. He never seemed to take priority over anything in Burns' life.

Sure, there were a few moments where Burns actually did seem to give a damn about him, but those were few and far between. However, Mr. Burns always did come through for him when he really needed help and he did show concern for him when he was injured or sick. Occasionally, Burns even seemed to enjoy his company; so maybe it wasn't as hopeless as he'd made it all out to be.

He had left Burns Manor early that evening just as Lindsey's car was pulling into the driveway. After hearing of Burns' erratic driving, Lindsey had insisted on picking him up at the house. Smithers had sat in his car, waiting for them to leave and watched as Mr. Burns hopped into Lindsey's car. It felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart when he saw Burns lean over to kiss her before they drove away. That's when he decided that he needed to get out in the town and do something just to keep his mind off of what ever else they might be doing that night.

So that's how he ended up at the drive-in and he was starting to have second thoughts about even coming. The drive-in was normally a place of romance and there he sat all alone and it only made him think of Mr. Burns even more. After a while, the credits finally scrolled across the huge projector screen and a few of the cars had already left the lot. Some of the more amorous couples seemed to be unaware that the movie had even ended as they were too wrapped up in themselves. Before he had a chance to start up the car, a sudden crow-like laugh caught his attention from his left window.

"Haw haw! You're all alone and pathetic!"

It appeared to be one of the Simpson boy's rowdy friends. The kid had such a distinctive laugh that Smithers was sure he'd heard it around the neighborhood many times before. He couldn't remember the boy's name, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

"What do you want kid?" he asked, irritated at being spoken to so disrespectfully by a child. Just who did this kid think he was?

"Hey! Mr. Power Plant Guy, where's your boyfriend?" asked the boorish kid mockingly, eerily similar to the taunts he'd heard in high school. Smithers couldn't believe he would ask such a thing. Is that what people really thought about him and Burns? He barely even knew the kid and he was starting to feel really paranoid. Surely his affection for his boss wasn't that obvious!

"Shut up you little pipsqueak!" Smithers snapped, "What are you doing here anyway? This movie's PG-13!"

"PG-13 my ass! I'll watch whatever I want! You ain't the boss of me!"

"I don't have time for this." said Smithers. He rolled up his window and pulled out of the parking lot. He just knew if he went home now, he would probably just sit alone drinking his cares away, vomit all over his new carpet and then wake up the next day feeling dead to the world. It was not a very good outlook so he decided to drive around the city a while. He didn't really care the destination.

- o - o - o -

After grabbing a bite at the Krusty Burger, he decided to take a walk along the streets, maybe do a little window shopping. The night was considerably cooler than the average summer night in Springfield and the crisp air was refreshing. He walked along the sidewalk, hands in his pockets as he took in the sites. Before he knew it, he had walked nearly four blocks and came to stop in front of the Sprawl Mart supermarket. He did need to pick up a few groceries so he entered the store and grabbed a shopping basket. He only wished he had parked closer to the store since he would have to lug everything back to the car a few blocks away.

He bought a few things that Burns had complained he'd ran out of like orange juice and a box of Burn's favorite cereal. Smithers always told him they were called Burnsos and he had even pasted a picture of him on the front of the box. Burns could be so gullible sometimes that a little lie like that would slip right past him. Little details like that always cheered up the old man and it was probably the only reason Burns even kept him around in the first place. Who else would pay such close attention to detail? He'd like to think that he was kept around all those years because Mr. Burns actually liked his company, but Burns was always a little guarded when it came to how he felt about him.

As he neared the medicine aisle, he felt something bump into him from the rear. He turned around and was surprised to see that it was Stella, Ms. Naegle's assistant that had been relentlessly flirting with him ever since they met.

"Oh, pardonais moi Waylon! I didn't see you there!" she said in her best fake French accent; coupled with her already strong northern accent, it really made her sound strange.

"Ms. Shapiro? What are you still doing in town?" Smithers asked.

"Oh, I have a few days off and decided to stay in Springfield a little longer. This place seems so much more interesting than Shelbyville." she said with the usual flirtatious intonation.

"Hmm, don't let anyone from Shelbyville hear you say that or you're liable to start a riot." he joked. At least he could attempt to be friendly with her. Why did she even waste her time with him when he clearly hadn't shown any interest in her? She could have her pick of almost anyone in Springfield, he was sure of it.

"I know right?" she laughed, slapping him on the shoulder, "Anyway, I just had to pick up a little ointment. You see, I've got this heat rash like you wouldn't believe! You ever had a heat rash? Feels like my skin is on fire! I just hate this summer heat!"

"Well, I do know of this one medication that-" said Smithers, but she cut him off mid-sentence and quickly grabbed one of the magazines from his shopping basket.

"Oh! You like Oprah's magazine?" she asked excitedly. "I think that woman's gonna be taking over the whole world before you know it! I bet soon she'll buy a whole chain of supermarkets and then she'll be bigger than Sprawl Mart! Not physically of course, oh you know what I mean. Though, she could stand to lose a little weight. Don't get me wrong, I love Oprah. If she did get a chain of super markets, you know what she should name them?"

"I'll bet your going to tell me aren't you?" Smithers remarked szarcastically, instantly feeling a little guilty about the comment, though she didn't really seem one to be easily offended.

"Harpo Mart of course! No wait! The O-mart! Nah, I think a better name would be..."

-And so begins the incessant chatter, thought Smithers. He watched in awe as she spoke, waving her hands and barely even taking a breath between sentences.

"Uh, Ms. Shapiro, I really need to finish my shopping but it was nice uh... bumping into you." he said curtly before attempting to leave. She grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"How many times have I told you to call me Stella? You hard of hearing or something?" she asked jokingly.

"Sorry, uh Stella. It was nice seeing you again."

"Tell me about it! So here I was, just standing there in the dairy aisle just hoping I'd run into you again at least one more time before I left Springfield and poof, there you are! It's like cupid brought us together!"

"Yeah, cupid..."

"I forgot to give you my number," she began rummaging through her huge purse, taking out various items. She handed Smithers a few things to hold while she looked for something. Surprisingly the woman even had a bottle of mustard in there and handed it to him too. Smithers looked around and could see several other shoppers had begun to crowd around them, apparently waiting to get by since Stella had her cart practically parked sideways in the aisle so no one could pass. One large, impatient looking woman decided to park her cart in front of them and wait. Smithers quickly apologized and tried to flatten himself as far as he could against the shelf so she could pass but the woman still looked disgusted at him as if he had purposely gotten in her way just to annoy her.

"Ah here it is!" Stella pulled out an ink pen and took all of her things from Smithers and stuffed them back into her purse. She then boldly grabbed his wrist and began to write something on the palm of his hand.

He looked at his hand where he saw her phone number written. This woman just didn't give up! Smithers wondered just what made her think he wanted her phone number anyway, he hadn't shown even the slightest interest in her, yet she still insisted on pursuing him. Though, when he thought about it, Mr. Burns had never shown much interest in him either so he sort of knew how she felt. Even though she was annoying, she was definitely entertaining with her straightforward attitude and her boldness. Yet, he didn't know if he could bear being around her for much longer and he looked around for a quick escape route.

"You're the only nice guy I've met here so far." she stated, straitening out his bowtie while she spoke. "I'm kind of surprised some woman hasn't snatched you up by now! You know, they always say that the good ones are either gay or already taken!" Stella let out a loud, nasally laugh, sounding almost like a goose doing a mating call.

"Uh, yeah." he uttered nervously. So she was observant, that was for sure.

"So which is it? You don't have a ring. I bet you got a girlfriend though, right?"

"No, not really."

"So you got a boyfriend then! I knew it!" she said sullenly. "I should have known all along. I guess my gaydar went a little haywire or something."

"I never said I was gay either." he answered truthfully, the word gay being rather difficult to utter aloud. He wasn't so keen on coming out of the closet as everyone was urged to do these days. He liked to keep some sense of privacy about his life. Stella looked a little worried by his response though.

"Oh... So it's just me then?" she asked.

Oh great, now he really had offended her. Just when he was thinking she was a woman that he could actually talk to without worrying about insulting her. He just wasn't great with women and he never had been. He had to remedy the situation fast; he didn't want to hurt her.

"No! That's not it!" he said nervously. "I just don't date much anymore, yes, that's it."

"Its okay, you don't have to explain. You're just shy right?" she paused a moment, looking as if she were in deep thought. "Since were going to the banquet together anyway I just thought it might help if we got to know each other better. Ms. Naegle was supposed to show me around the city but she's been so occupied with Mr. Burns that she forgot all about me."

"I know how you feel, my boss hasn't been paying much attention to me either since Ms. Naegle came along." Smithers muttered, unable to hide his irritation. He shook off his jealousy for the moment as the mention of Ms. Neagle interested him. He really was curious about her and this might be just the perfect opportunity to learn more about her and her true motives.

"Ms. Neagle, she's a persistent one isn't she?" he asked. "There's just something about her that I don't trust. I feel like she's... up to something." he said, trailing off his sentence, waiting for Stella to confirm his suspicions.

"Well, before the inspection, she did mention something about Mr. Burns that was... interesting, but... No, "I've already said too much!"

"What? You know something about Ms. Naegle?" asked Smithers a little more eagerly than intended.

"Well, she told me not to tell but..." Stella hesitated, looking at her nails nervously.

"But? But what? Tell me!" Smithers grabbed her shoulders, desperate to get any information. "Mr. Burns is the most important thing in the world to me, I have to know what she's planning!" he said, a hint of desperation, of pleading showing through in his voice.

"God Waylon! Relax. It's no big deal or anything." Stella pushed him away and brushed her hands over the front of her red dress, straightening out the wrinkles.

"So you can tell me then, if it's no big deal right?" asked Smithers.

"Well... I promised to keep my mouth shut," she said, pausing a moment, "but right now I like you a lot more than Lindsey and I'm not even working for her anymore so she can't tell me-"

"Just say it woman!" Smithers snapped impatiently.

"Oh! That's what I like to see! Passion! That's the first time I've ever seen you raise your voice! Okay, I'll tell you, but... you got to do something for me first. I don't just do things for free you know!"

"What?" Smithers exclaimed, blushing slightly. Just what was she trying to imply?

"Oh relax," she quickly added, sensing his apprehension, "I mean I just want to go somewhere. I don't know much about the city and I want to see some of the places people hang out at around here. You know, like restaurants or bars? I'm famished! Anywhere cheap is fine. You don't even have to call it a date."

"Okay, fine." That didn't sound so bad. He could certainly handle one little outing with her if it would benefit him. He really needed to know more about this Lindsey woman before she ended up hurting Burns like most of the others he had dated. "I'm kind of looking for a distraction myself. How about after I pay for these groceries, we go out to Moe's or something?"

"Yay!" she cheered, jumping into the air childishly. She seemed a little too happy about the whole arrangement. He had to set her straight before she got the wrong idea. No reason to get her hopes up.

"But it's not a date you know." he added for good measure. Stella laughed and after the both of them checked out, Smithers met her out in the parking lot and the two of them left for Moe's place. If he wanted to learn more about that sneaky Ms. Naegle, he'd have to make sure Stella had a good time at the bar, perhaps even lead her on a little. Maybe then she would be willing to talk.

* * *

**A.N. - Don't worry. The "City of Angels" reference wasn't any type of _intentional _foreshadowing of future events... Nor was that movie that Burns and Smithers watched earlier. And I _won't say _that Smithers novel has any foreshadowing either. ;)**

**I was going to make this chapter longer but I noticed that it had already been eighteen days since I posted a chapter. I was like, Oh crap! So I posted the first half of the chapter that I already had finished. Can't wait to write more and I should be able to post more often now that I've gotten a break from baby-sitting my cousins for a while xD! Screaming five-year-olds can really suck the creativity right out of you, you know?**

**Next Chapter: Stella and Smithers go to Moe's and have an interesting chat. Then, we catch up with Mr. Burns to see how his date with Lindsey is going.**

**To be continued.**


	11. Truths and Lies

**Chapter Eleven: Truths and Lies**

Smithers wasn't a regular at Moe's, but he did go occasionally. He didn't get along very well with the normal crowd that hung out there since lot of them worked at the power plant and they really loathed him for his authoritarian attitude and strict adherence to Burns' regulations.

As expected, Moe's regular customers were sitting around at the bar in their usual seats. They were all gathered around listening to Moe chattering on about something. Smithers was just glad that they were distracted enough that they didn't even notice that he'd come in with a girl. He had more important things to worry about than hearing their smart-ass remarks. As they entered, Smithers noted a familiar tune coming from the jukebox.

"Hey Homer, do I look like Sam Malone to you? Turn off that damn theme song!" yelled Moe as the theme to Cheers echoed throughout the bar. "I'm right in the middle of telling an exciting story over here!"

"Sorry Moe. " said Homer, slowly walking away from the jukebox, his head hung sadly and muttering to himself. "—but it's just so catchy..."

Smithers and Stella were seated at one of the corner booths, a good distance away from the bar and hopefully far enough from the rest of the guys so that they would be able to talk undisturbed.

"So Stella, you say you've got some info about Ms. Naegle's plans?" asked Smithers. No point beating around the bush. "So spill it! I want to know everything!"

"Hold up, we just got here and you're all business already!" she whined impatiently. If there was one thing that was more torturous than her cackling laugh, it was her whining. Although she was right; it was only fair to treat her to a drink since she was the one that held the information he sought.

"Well I guess it couldn't hurt to relax a little first." he sighed.

"Great! Yo bartender guy!" she yelled, waiving her hand in Moe's direction. "Yoo-hoo, can we get a couple of drinks over here?"

"Oh yeah sure, just a sec-" Moe's words seemed to catch in his throat as he caught sight of her. It seemed he had already taken an instant liking to her. Either that or he was just surprised to see Smithers out with her. Perhaps it was a little of both.

"Hey guys, don't look now, but it seems the confirmed bachelor has found himself a fruit fly!" Moe announced. "And she's a real looker too!" The guys at the bar all looked over and Smithers suddenly felt very uncomfortable and held his forehead, aggravated by all of the unwanted attention.

"What you guys all stairin' at? My makeup all shmeered?" Stella looked around at everyone. She was pretty clueless as to what the big deal was. He supposed that he should have known better than to take her to Moe's, of all places. It wasn't exactly the best place for intelligent conversation.

"Alright Smithers! Way to go man!" cheered Carl.

"A woman?" asked Lenny, as he nudged Carl with his elbow. "But I always thought he was..."

Smithers' irritation was mounting. He didn't come here to make a spectacle of himself; he cleared his throat to speak.

"Would you all kindly go back to whatever you were doing? Stella and I have a lot of business to discuss."

Fortunately, the guys at the bar seemed to loose interest and turned back around to the bar; all but Moe, who slicked a comb though his hair quickly before strutting over to their table. Hmm, this should be interesting, Smithers thought. Moe seemed a much better match for Stella than he could ever be.

"So, your name is Stella huh?" asked Moe flirtatiously; his voice still as gruff and nasally as ever. "How about after I close up the bar, you and I go somewhere, like my place?" Smithers had never heard such a lame pickup-line. Did Moe really think he could get a woman like that? Surely she wouldn't fall for it.

"Aw, aren't you a cute one?" she said. "I'm sorry honey, but I've got my hands full with Waylon here. Well, I wish I did anyway! He's so good at playing hard to get!"

"Babe, you don't know the half of it!" said Moe, his voice laden with sarcasm, "Trust me, guys like him, they'll break your heart." Moe turned to Smithers, lowering his voice, "You leading this pretty lady on or somethin'? She does know about your uh... condition or whatever, right?"

"Condition? It's not like it's a contagious a disease you know." Smithers snapped irritably. Really, if Moe wanted her then that was fine, but he really wished the lecherous old bartender would go away for the moment so they could have a chance to talk.

"Moe, do you mind?" said Smithers.

"Ah whatever, I can tell when I'm not wanted. Anyway, can I get you two lovebirds anything? A beer maybe?"

"Yeah, that would be fine." he answered.

"I'll have the same." Stella added. Moe, slowly walked back to the bar, mumbling to himself.

"Just great... now _he's_ stealing all the good woman..." he mumbled. "I have enough trouble as it is..."

Stella still had the same utterly clueless look on her face. With the way the guys around there were talking, it was only a matter of time before she figured out that he was pretty much off limits to her. Though, he really wanted to keep her interest long enough to get the information he needed. Maybe he was a little too good at playing hard to get. Maybe if he turned on the charm a little, it would help to move things along. Shouldn't be too hard, only he wasn't very sure how to go about such a task.

"Just pretend she is Mr. Burns." said Smithers, accidentally mumbling to himself.

"Pretend what? Who you talking to?" she asked.

"Oh nothing... It's only that..." he hesitated, searching for the right words. He reached across the table, stroking her hand gently yet unable to keep the shakiness from his voice, "Why should we pretend to play hard to get? It would be foolish to deny the chemistry that we share." Yeah that sounded good! Right out of one of those romance novels! This wasn't so hard. He leaned closer slightly, taking both of her hands in his own. Despite the sudden dryness in his throat, he persisted on with his seductive words.

"Especially in the presence of s-such a..." he found himself stuttering awkwardly as he noticed that Stella was gazing at him, drinking in his every word as if it were poetry. "Oh who am I kidding? I can't do this!"

"Ooh baby! You really know how to turn a girl on!" with that, Stella lunged towards him, grabbed him in a crushing embrace and planted a kiss on his lips. He was stunned! Maybe he had turned on the charm a little too much? He could hardly breathe and finally succeeded in escaping her grasp. He couldn't exactly remember the last time he had actually been kissed by a woman and the whole thing only made him even more aware of just how gay he really was.

"Oh, sorry babe, I got a little carried away there!"

"I'm sorry Stella but, I'm sortofalittlebitgay!" he blurted out, his words becoming all jumbled towards the end. He'd never really liked to talk about it much and found the words hard to admit, especially to someone he hardly knew. Admitting that you're gay is often said to be a freeing experience but to Smithers it only succeeded in making him feel nauseous.

"Huh?" Stella seemed to snap out of her daze and shook her head a little at the sudden outburst. "Forgive me but I'm a little farmisht here. What was that last part?"

"I-I meant that, uh well... I'm liberal." the words sounded strange even to himself. Only, he didn't really feel like having to admit it twice.

"Oh, you trying to say you're gay?" asked Stella, sitting back in her seat a little.

"Uh, not in so many words... but kind of."

"Well, I guess I should be thankful. I was starting to think I'd lost my touch." she paused, taking a moment to consider her words. "Can't say I'm not disappointed though. Every time I find Mr. Right, something like this always happens. I'm probably going to end up like one of those crazy cat ladies, just like my Aunt Freda!"

"Aw, don't talk like that; I'm sure you'll find someone. The minute you walked in, every guy in the room couldn't take their eyes off of you, especially Moe. I think he really likes you and he's a great kisser too." said Smithers. The fact that Moe had actually kissed him before out of curiocity almost slipping out, but he kept it to himself.

"What? Me and Moe?" she exclaimed. "Oh, I don't know. He is a little cute but... He's a little too much like my last boyfriend Anthony. We used to yell and fight like you wouldn't believe! Just the sight of that man-"

"Um Stella, I'm sorry to interrupt but, I'm kind of in a hurry. Mr. Burns is out there right now with that woman..."

"You know, I can understand you taking up for your boss and all, but I just don't get it. Why so protective over Mr. Burns?" she asked; a genuine look of curiosity written across her face. Maybe she already suspected that he had feeling for his boss. Could he really trust her with such things?

"Stella. This is strictly off the record now. I'm talking about nearly thirty years of service. I've got to know what she is planning. It has to do with my honor, my life... everything I put any value on."

The intimacy of the conversation was broken as Moe approached their table with a couple of Duff beers, plopping them down on the table in front of them. Both Stella and Smithers looked up at him frustrated. Moe, taking the hint, finally left. Smithers tried to resume his plea, but Stella interrupts him.

"Waylon, babe. This is Ms. Naegle we're talking about! People that don't play by her rules get... hurt." she said, with a certain cold, disdain as she spoke of Lindsey. It sort of reminded him of the way people often feared Mr. Burns. Lindsey wasn't one to be taken lightly.

"Don't quote rules, Stel! We're talking about loyalty. And sacrifice. I don't want to see him hurt again." Strange, thought Smithers; their conversation seemed vaguely familiar somehow. Had he heard it somewhere before or was it just that Stella was so easy to talk to?

"Now wait a minute!" said Stella. "This business about you and Mr. Burns... Honestly, I have never understood the depths that some would go to for their boss."

"Look, I don't really know how to explain it, but if there's even a chance that I can help Mr. Burns, then that is my responsibility." said Smithers.

"Yours...? Wait a sec. I can see that he is important to you, almost to the point of obsession! And as much as I'd like to role play old Star Trek dialogue with you, I think it would be best to warn you that what I'm about to tell you was told to me in the strictest of confidence."

"Fine, go on."

"Ever since I've known her, Ms. Naegle has been one to cozy up to the boss, always second in command, never the head-honcho. She wants ole Burnsie's title! Either that or marry him and take all his money. She told me all this herself!" said Stella excitedly.

"But I know Mr. Burns. He would never get married without signing a pre-nup that I, of course, would scan over with a fine tooth comb! Why do you think he never got married in the first place? Because marriage and kids would only distract from his favorite hobby."

"Oh? And what's that?" she asked.

"Making money."

"Waylon, I don't think you get it. She is very tricky. If you get in her way she'll turn him against you! If you care for Mr. Burns like you say you do, then you're going to have to go about this discreetly. Make Burns see for himself just what kind of person she is."

"You really think it's that serious?" asked Smithers.

"Yes! Mr. Burns seems kind of gullible to me and Lindsey can be... very persuasive." she warned gravely. If Neagle really was anything like Mr. Burns, then he knew the extent she could go to for revenge.

"You're right! I'd better call him right now and warn him!"

"Do you think he'll believe you?" she asked.

"I don't know, but I've got to do something!" Smithers pulled out his cell phone and dialed Burns' number. Smithers had recently gotten Burns a cell phone and made sure he kept it with him at all times in case of emergency. He only hoped that wherever he was, he would pick up.

"Oh please don't let Lindsey know I told you anything!" she whispered.

"Don't worry; I'll keep your name out of it."

He was actually starting to like Stella a little, even with all her eccentricities. Maybe they could actually even get along now that the pressure from her constant flirting was hopefully done with. Smithers listened to the other end of the line. He knew the phone was ringing. Why wasn't Burns answering? It had rang at least eight times already. Was Burns really that distracted by Lindsey? The possibilities of what they were up to were endless and it brought lots of really uncomfortable images to mind.

"Come on! Please pick up..."

- O - O - O -

Meanwhile, Mr. Burns and his date had spent the evening dancing and dining at the Chez Paree, an upscale restaurant on the other side of town. He didn't know much about Lindsey yet, but she had succeeded in keeping him entertained for a while. They'd talked about some of her past business achievements and some of her more impressive, cut-throat business tactics; she had even given Burns a few pointers. The only sour spot of the night had been when they were dancing. While upbeat sounds of Stevie Wonder echoed throughout the dance hall, Mr. Burns was looking for an escape route. If she stepped on his feet one more time he was sure they would fall off!

As much as he tried not to, he couldn't stop himself from wondering what Smithers was doing that night. It wasn't like him. He wasn't accustomed for his thoughts to be centered on Smithers for more that five minutes at a time, yet while he and Lindsey danced, he remembered the time that he had given Smithers a dancing lesson right before the boy's high school prom. Smithers didn't even want to go until Burns had offered to teach him. He had been a prominent figure in the man's life ever since. It made him wonder, just when this strange crush that Smithers had on him had developed. It seemed all too pedophiliac for Burns' taste.

With all these confusing thoughts about Smithers lately, it felt almost as if going out with Lindsey sort of softened the blow, as if in some strange way, it helped to affirm his heterosexual identity. After all, he certainly couldn't be attracted to both Lindsey and Smithers could he? At least that's how he rationalized it.

As he and Lindsey danced, a sudden high pitched beeping sound caught his attention. It was the perfect excuse to take a break and give his tired feet a rest. Burns pulled away from her and stood in the middle of the dance floor, looking around for the strange noise.

"Uh, Monty? I think you're beeping!" said Lindsey.

"Oh! I think it's that newfangled cell phone thing that Smithers gave me." he reached in his back pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He looked it over a few times curiously, all the while, the phone continued to ring. Lindsey stood nearby, hands on her hips as she waited for Burns to stop fiddling around with the phone.

"Now, how does this thing work again?" said Burns to himself. Smithers had given it to him and had tried to explain how it worked and its purpose, but to Burns, it was just another one of those modern, space-age gadgets with far too many buttons and flashy lights to be of practical use.

"Give me that thing!" Lindsey grabbed the phone from him and turned it off. "There, it was probably not important anyway."

"Thank you. That phone just creeps me out. Who knows who it could have been? They are called _cell _phones after all... probably someone calling from a _prison_ cell somewhere."

"Oh forget it and let's get back out there and show these people some real dance moves! I think I'm really getting the hang of this!" said Lindsey as she bumped against Burns playfully with her hip, almost knocking him over.

"Oh no, I think I've had enough dancing for one night." said Burns weakly. The only thing he wanted to do was to go home and rest his aching feet.

"Aw, but the night is young and we haven't danced nearly enough yet!"

"I'm sorry, but I think I'm all danced out for the night." he said apologetically. "It's getting kind of late anyway. I had a lot of fun but I can't wait to get into bed and-"

"Ooh, you read my mind!" said Lindsey, grabbing onto his wrist. "Let's get out of here and go back to my place! I can't wait to get you all to myself."

"But Lindsey I-"

"I've got this fire place at home, maybe you could come with me and help me... light a fire?" she asked, suggestively running her fingers across Burns' chest.

"No, that's not what I meant. I think you misunderstood." Burns politely pushed her hands away. Did she really expect him to go home with her? It didn't know what to say. He was already suspicious of her from the beginning and he would have liked to have a little more time to figure her out first.

"Well you can tell me all about it when we get to my house." she persisted. She led him to the exit, dragging him along so that he had to practically run to keep up. When they got out to the street, Burns stopped in his tracks. He wasn't ready to go home with her no matter how modern he considered his sensibilities on relationships were. He got more enjoyment out of the thrill of courtship than just jumping into bed on the first date, thought he had been guilty of both in the past. What was wrong with him? Here he had a beautiful woman that he had lots in common with, ready an willing to do anything, yet he was hesitant? He still didn't trust her just yet.

"B-But Lindsey! Don't you think we're... rushing things a little? I really like you, but I hardly know you at all!" he stuttered. Lindsey suddenly pushed him up against the side of her car.

"Monty, I'm not asking. I'm taking!" said Lindsey passionately. She then kissed him just as eagerly as she had when they were in Burns' office earlier that day.

_Hmm, at least I'm not thinking of Smithers this time... oh wait...damn!_

Lindsey let go of him and they both took a moment to catch their breath.

"Well, maybe... maybe I could help you light that fire place." said Burns. "But I can't stay long; I've got work tomorrow." If there was one thing going for Lindsey, it was her persuasiveness. Burns didn't really know what to expect when they got to her house, but he had the feeling that she didn't even have a fireplace.

* * *

**A.N. - Sorry about the liberal joke. I know that liberal doesn't equal gay, Smithers was just trying to worm his way out of an awkward conversation. Posted just in time for the weekend. It should get very interesting soon. I mean, secrets can't stay secrets forever. Thanks for all the comments!**


	12. An Average Morning?

**Chapter Twelve: An Average Morning?**

It was around two in the morning before Mr. Burns returned home. He hadn't stayed out so late in years and he would have stayed at Lindsey's house the whole night if only he weren't so humiliated by what had happened. As soon as they'd stepped into her house, Lindsey had practically assaulted him with kisses. That's when he found out that his suspicions were correct; she had not one fireplace in the entire house and had only taken him home so they could get busy under the sheets.

Initially Burns was hesitant. There were so many reasons against rushing things with her, but after a while they ended up in her bedroom and that's when things really began to head south for the both of them. Even after she had stripped down to her underwear, Burns was still having some doubts. He wasn't as young as he once was and he had the feeling that he would only end up being a disappointment. She was obviously a lot younger than himself and his sex drive wasn't all that impressive most of the time. Though, with the right amount of patience, things could have worked out.

It seems Lindsey wasn't a very patient woman and it didn't take long for her patience to run thin as she had grown quickly frustrated by Burns' slow sex drive. Or maybe he just wasn't adequately turned on by her enough for them to go any further. Before he knew it, Lindsey was under the covers and off to sleep, leaving him half dressed and standing at the foot of the bed feeling ridiculous. He didn't even have a ride home and he certainly didn't want to call Smithers and deal with telling him all about it. So the only thing he could think to do was to call a cab. He knew if Smithers found out that he'd stayed out practically all night with Lindsey, he would just freak out. He saw no point in causing a scene about it when he could just sneak home and avoid dealing with it.

It was his own life, his own house. He didn't have to answer to anyone, especially not his terribly misguided assistant. Yet, it was strange that he felt so compelled to spare Smithers feelings for some reason since he'd never really cared all that much about him before. The part that amused him was that it almost felt like he was having a secret affair with Lindsey and trying to sneak home before his wife found out. The only disturbing part was when he thought about what role that left Smithers with in the scenario.

Maybe he was looking too much into it. Although, when most businessmen spent their free time with the wife and kids, Mr. Burns always found himself stuck with Smithers. Whether it be some special family-day event at work or just the average evening at home, Smithers was the only one there for him. So the whole 'wife' comparison wasn't too far off.

He shook off those thoughts for the time being as the cab came to a stop in front of Burns Manor. He paid the man and stepped out into the driveway. Suddenly, his heart skipped a beat when he noticed that there was already a car waiting in front of the house. It was Smithers' car! What on earth was he doing out there at this hour?

He unlocked the front door and cautiously entered the main hall. He didn't really want to deal with Smithers right now and wanted nothing more than to just sneak upstairs to his room and get into bed, but his own curiosity had already taken hold of him and he just had to know what Smithers was doing there at such an unheard of hour. He walked past the grand staircase and into the dining room looking for him, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Smithers?" he called out, voice echoing across the dark, cavernous room, cutting through the silence. Certainly if he were there then he would ave hanswered. His car was outside so he had to be somewhere in the house. Burns continued his search into the kitchen; still no Smithers. Finally, he entered the parlor and that's where he found him. It looked as if he was spending the night camping out on couch.

Burns approached the couch, reaching a hand out to wake him up. Yet, he was hesitant. He looked so comfortable; his shallow breathing, an indication that he was in a pretty deep state of rest. Did he always sleep on his stomach like that? Burns wondered. Come to think of it, he had never seen him sleep any other way, though he'd never made it a habit to watch his employees while sleeping. Burns could sleep in practically any position and found it kind of funny, maybe even a little cute that Smithers had his own particular way of falling asleep. It seemed kind of wrong to wake him.

Mr. Burns went to his room and came back with a blanket, carefully slipping it over Smithers. It was a kind gesture, not normally something he would do and he wasn't really sure why he felt so compelled to do so. What was this strange feeling? It felt like a mixture of lightheadedness and a strange tingly feeling at the pit of his stomach. He knew the symptoms all too well and he didn't like what it was all adding up to.

He sighed and turned to leave. He only had about three more hours before he had to get ready for work in the morning so he decided to make the best of it and get as much sleep as possible. Three hours were still better than nothing. The only thing he was certain of was that it wasn't normal for one to think of their assistant as cute. Especially when that assistant was Smithers. He practically helped raise him after his father died and something about it felt so wrong. Maybe they were just silly thoughts produced by an overactive imagination; they would go away soon wouldn't they? It wasn't like he had to act on them or anything.

- O - O - O -

It was early Friday morning and Smithers was finally beginning to wake up. He pushed the blanket aside and sat up on the couch, straightening his glasses. The room suddenly came into focus and that's when it all came rushing back to him. He had spent the greater part of last night waiting up for Mr. Burns' return. Unfortunately, he had fallen asleep sometime around one am so he had no idea if Mr. Burns had even returned home at all that night. For a moment he started to worry until he noticed the light blue blanket he'd just cast aside; it wasn't there the night before. Did that mean Burns had already come back while he was asleep? He jumped up and looked over to the clock on the wall. It was already time to go to work and at this rate they'd still get there on time if they hurried, though they'd have to white-knuckle it the whole car ride. Smithers rushed out of the parlor and up the staircase to Burns' room.

When he got there, he spotted Mr. Burns curled up in his bed, sound asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned against the door frame. He was glad that Mr. Burns was finally away from that meddling Lindsey and most importantly he was safe. He reached out and nudged Burns' arm to wake him like he did every morning.

"Mr. Burns, its time to get up sir." he said. Burns curled up tighter, as if trying to block out the unwanted disturbance.

"Mm... fifteen more minutes Linds." Burns muttered. "I'm all tired out."

"Linds? So I take it you and Lindsey had a busy night?" Smithers asked scornfully. Burns was still half-asleep; he was out really late after all. He finally opened his eyes, yawing as recognition set in that it was Smithers he was talking to.

"Oh Smithers, it's you. Just give me a few minutes." Burns turned over in the bed, his back to Smithers and clutched the covers tighter around himself as he curled up comfortably on his side. Burns never was a morning person, but he wasn't usually this hard to get up.

"I'm sorry, but we're running a little late as it is. It's almost 6 o'clock!" said Smithers as he grabbed some clean clothes from the closet for Burns to wear.

After a moment, Burns reluctantly sat up on the side of the bed, stretching tiredly before getting up. He grabbed his clothes from Smithers and headed to the bathroom. Smithers stood on the other side of the door, considering the best way to bring up all of the new things he had learned about Lindsey last night. He knew he had to bring it up sometime, but it would be kind of difficult to figure out how to go about it. Perhaps the best way would be to question him on his date.

"So, how did things go last night with Lindsey?" asked Smithers innocently. After a long moment of hesitation, Burns finally responded.

"Just fine." he answered. It was a vague response if he'd ever heard one. Normally, Burns would be quick to divulge his romantic pursuits, often in much more detail than he cared to hear. Smithers had noted Burns' odd behavior lately and this was just another drop in the bucket, another piece of the puzzle that he had yet to solve. "Why do you ask?" Burns added.

"I was just wondering how things went. You did stay out pretty late." said Smithers. He could hear the sink running in the bathroom. Right about now, Burns would be brushing his teeth. Burns rarely strayed from his normal routine, no matter whether they were late or not.

"Oh? And just how did you know I stayed out late?" came Burns voice from the bathroom.

"Come on sir, you must have seen my car outside."

Burns opened the door suddenly, crashing into Smithers on the way out. His hands splayed across Smithers chest to block the impact. Smithers held on to his shoulders to brace him from falling.

"Well... I did happen to notice that my couch was occupied last night." said Burns slowly as if uncertain of his words, almost as if the sudden contact had left him flustered. They were still holding on to each other much longer than they normally would have. Burns seemed to take notice that he was holding eye contact a little too long as well and he finally pushed Smithers away and sat on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on.

Smithers remained motionless for a moment as he mulled over what had just happened. What really had happened anyway? For a moment he could have sworn that Burns was about to kiss him again, only this time he wasn't drunk! Of course that would just be wishful thinking; he would be fooling himself to think his boss would even be remotely attracted to him. Smithers looked over to Burns who seemed to be focusing a little too intently on tying his shoes, his hands noticeably shaking.

"You should consider yourself lucky," said Burns, his tone definitely more irritable than a moment ago. "I would have kicked you out if only you weren't so sickeningly cute while sleeping." Burns eyes widened at the sudden slip of words. His attempt at changing the subject had only made things even more awkward for him and he focused even more of his attention to his shoelaces, unsuccessful in tying either shoe.

Well that certainly wasn't wishful thinking! Burns had just called him cute! Sure, it was hidden somewhere within an insult, but he had still said the words and was sitting over on the bed blushing furiously for saying it! Smithers would have let his mind reel over it even longer, but he just felt the need to help Burns somehow. He cautiously approached him and knelt down onto the floor to help him tie his shoes. Burns appeared to be embarrassed enough as it was, but Smithers couldn't control his curiosity and just had to ask.

"Uh, Mr. Burns?" asked Smithers as he carefully tied the shoelaces. "I don't think you've ever given me a complement quite like that before." he said, somehow managing to keep his voice cool and calculated.

"Your point being?" retorted Burns.

"Well... your in such a generous mood. Perhaps now would be a good time to ask for a raise?" he joked, attempting to lighten the mood a little.

"Ha, nice try, but no." said Burns. Finally finishing up with Burns' shoe, Smithers stood back on his two feet and Burns hopped up off of the bed, both standing around and at a loss for words for a few seconds. Finally, Burns walked past Smithers and to the door.

"We should be leaving now or else we'll be really late." said Burns as he walked out of the room, obviously expecting Smithers to follow, but Smithers remained static. He was still a little shaken by Burns' strange behavior.

"Uh... sir?" he called. Burns returned to the doorway, peeking into the room curiously at him.

"Hm? Aren't you coming Smithers?"

The compliments, the blushing, the prolonged eye contact; maybe something had happened last night with Lindsey that made him a little jumpy. Yet, all the signs indicated that it was something else. For the moment, he refused to believe or even speculate that it was romantic attraction that triggered such a reaction from Burns. He was certain that such a conjecture would only leave him sorely disillusioned. He finally snapped out of his reverie, noticing that Burns was still staring from the doorway, waiting for him to speak.

"Smithers, we have places to go, people to see you know. No time for lollygagging!"

"I was just wondering..." Smithers said, hesitating as he wondered just how far he could push the subject. "Um... D-do you really think I'm... sickeningly cute?"

"Is that what I said?" asked Burns, laughing nervously. "Well, just forget it. Time is money Smithers and every minute that we're late, I'm docking it from your paycheck! After all, it is your job to get me there on time!"

"I guess we should go then. Ah... anyway, thanks for the blanket last night." Smithers added. It was a bold move to actually acknowledge Burns' gesture of kindness, but Smithers couldn't resist, especially since it seemed that Burns might possibly be warming up to him in such a moment of indiscretion. Burns simply snorted in annoyance and turned to leave, Smithers following behind. Smithers had been so distracted that he had completely forgotten to bring up what Stella had told him about Lindsey's plans to get Burns ousted or whatever else she had been planning to do.

The morning certainly wasn't suffering from a lack of awkwardness. Honestly, how much crazier could the day really get?

* * *

**A.N. - Leave it to me to turn what was supposed to be just a regular short scene into a whole chapter.**

**Oh, and TourmalineTrue mentioned something about how Burns was turned off by Lindsey's forwardness, suggesting that he might conversely be attracted to submissiveness and namely other characteristics that Smithers has. I hadn't even thought of it that way but it does seem true! lol! You'd make a great psych, thanks Tourm ^^. Much thanks to everyone else too for the reviews. I would have thanked you all earlier, but I'm shy. xD**

**I always wondered why writers on here often wrote such short chapters; well it sort of makes sense now. It's hard to explain until you actually give it a shot for yourself. xD Writing can get a little difficult sometimes. I think writing this story has helped me improve a little.**

**To be continued.**


	13. Good Old Curb Exchange

**Chapter Thirteen: Good Old Curb Exchange**

Once they had arrived at the plant and entered Burns' office, Mr. Burns sat down at his desk like he always did, yet something about him today was a little off. His posture was stiff and he seemed to be lost in thought. Come to think of it, Burns had been acting weird for a few days now and it seemed to have started around the time that Burns had kissed him the other night.

The memory was still so vivid, seeing as Smithers had indulgently replayed it in his mind dozens of times, yet when he thought about all the times they had kissed in the past, the scoreboard seamed pretty pathetic. None of them had really been consensual on Burns' part and one of them technically didn't even count since it was just CPR; really pathetic indeed. Was Burns really so bothered by it or was it something else, some other underlying problem that he had failed to notice? All of the 'what if' questions were starting to drive him mad.

"Anything bothering you sir? You seem distracted." said Smithers. He was a little hesitant to get Burns' coffee just yet. He stood in front of the desk, waiting for Burns' response.

"Hm?" uttered Burns, snapping out of his daze. "Oh, no I'm fine."

"You sure?" 'Cause if there is something bothering you-" he prompted.

"No I'm quite alright, just... distracted. That's all."

"Well that much is clear! I just thought maybe you, oh I dunno... want to talk about it?" Smithers offered, knowing full well that he might be pushing the issue. His boss just wasn't one for sharing things.

"Oh spare me the damn namby-pamby psychoanalysis Smithers and go fetch my coffee!" Burns seemed to catch the irritation in his own voice and softened his tone a bit. "I'm just a little tired from last night."

"Oh! That's right! I forgot all about Ms. Naegle!" Smithers exclaimed. With the way Burns was acting that morning before work, all nervous and perhaps even a little flirtatious, it was easy to see how Smithers had gotten sidetracked.

"What about Lindsey?" questioned Burns, leaning forward in his seat slightly.

"Forgive me sir, but last night I did a little sleuthing around town and I... I don't know how to tell you this but... I found out a few things about Ms. Naegle that I think you should know before you become too um... involved."

The nervousness that Burns had shown earlier, now seemed replaced with curiosity and perhaps slight animosity at the fact that Smithers was meddling in his private affairs. Burns stood up from his seat, causing Smithers to become a little uncomfortable under his piercing gaze. Burns knew the intimidating effect he could have on others by just his body language alone and his small frame did nothing to diminish it.

"I'll get your coffee sir." said Smithers quickly, desperate for any excuse to escape Burns' wrath. At least for a few moments until he got his facts straight.

"No. Stay. I want to hear all about this _sleuthing_ of yours. So, just what _did_ you find out about her? Is she a serial killer? A baby-hating, alcoholic, sexual predator perhaps?" asked Burns sarcastically.

"No! Nothing like that! I just found out that... her intentions with you are, uh, less than pure."

"Tell me about it. The moment we got to her house, she practically dragged me to the bedroom!"

"Ugh. Please, spare me the details!" Smithers groaned. "I'm serious; she's up to no good I tell you! I'm not completely sure what she is planning, but from what I gathered I think she's going to try to get some financial gain from this relationship!"

"Don't be ridiculous! She's got enough money of her own!" said Burns dismissively.

"Is there ever really such a thing as _enough money _sir?" asked Smithers. Burns seemed to be taking his words into account as he paced slowly near his desk, eyes cast to the floor as if in deep thought.

"Point taken." said Burns.

"Do you really want to take a chance with her and risk everything? You must believe me! I could never lie to you about something this important!" he pleaded. Stella was right. Burns would be hard to convince. He finally stopped his pacing and stood in front of Smithers.

"You've had it in for her from the beginning!" scolded Burns. "You're just jealous because I'm taking her to the uh... charity thing and not you! Can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that the woman might just be in love with me? Certainly you, of all people, would know what that's like!"

Smithers couldn't believe what he was hearing! Burns would occasionally say these things that made him think he knew a little more than he was letting on about Smithers affections for him, but this had gone way over the line! Burns seemed a little taken aback by the statement himself as he sank back into his seat. The previous air of intimidation he held a moment ago now seemed greatly diminished.

"Why don't you just go and uh... get me that cup of coffee now." said Burns, most of the anger now gone from his voice.

Smithers stood transfixed in front of Burns' desk for a moment and was vaguely aware that Burns had just asked something but he couldn't, for the life of him, remember what it was. So did that mean that Burns already knew everything or was he just joking around like always? With Burns, it was hard to tell sometimes.

"Smithers? Coffee?" Burns asked.

"Oh, no thanks. I don't need any." said Smithers. Burns was actually offering him some coffee for a change? Now that was something new.

"No! I meant go get it!" Burns added, clearly annoyed.

"Oh, you mean for you!" Smithers laughed nervously. Now he was really starting to feel dumb. "Well of course, duh. Right away sir." As he left Burns desk he felt kind of relieved to get out of that conversation and was a little worried that Burns wasn't really taking his warning about Lindsey all that serious. Maybe Stella was right. Maybe it was best to let Burns find out for himself just what kind of ruthless person Lindsey could be, but at what cost? The plant? Burns' whole fortune? Maybe even a broken heart? After a few seconds of nerve-wracking hesitation, Smithers finally responded.

"Of course, sir." he said.

Yet perhaps Lindsey was the least of his problems. What if Mr. Burns really was becoming aware of his affections? Things were getting kind of intense and he felt like he was walking on eggshells, as if any minute, one of them might say the wrong thing and it would all be over. Of course none of his suspicions were concrete. So for the moment, the future remained uncertain.

Now that he had a moment alone, Mr. Burns couldn't believe what he had just said. Not only had he implied that he knew Smithers was in love with him, he had almost blown his whole cover! Burns never had been good at controlling what he said and he was always getting himself into trouble over it.

Smithers and his insufferable perceptiveness. He had to find a way to remedy this problem fast! Burns didn't want this secret to be revealed just yet. He honestly didn't know how he wanted to deal with it. Whether or not he could ever return Smithers' love was up for debate. He could see that his potential emotions for Smithers were there, but the actual act of courting a man was still an alien concept to him. How would it go exactly? Would it be anything like being with a female or would it be like in Smithers' story; all full of angst and spontaneous sex whenever or wherever they could get it? Burns was pretty certain that he didn't have the energy for that sort of relationship. One thing he knew was that if their relationship did change, it would change a lot and he wasn't necessarily sure that that was something he wanted.

By the time Smithers returned with his morning coffee, Burns was still no where near prepared to face him yet. Fortunately, he still managed to maintain his usual decorum, flipping casually through some random stack of papers on his desk and trying his best to pull off the busy-CEO look. Smithers sat the cup in front of Burns like he did every morning. He didn't dare look up from the page he was pretending to read, but from his peripheral vision, he could see that Smithers was still hovering around near his desk for some reason. A sudden clever idea came to Burns, one he was sure would be a good distraction.

"Say Smithers, how's the curb exchange going these days?" he asked, feigning interest in the subject as he continued to flip through papers.

"Curb exchange sir? You do know that's a rather archaic term these days. You see, in the 50's it became known as the American Stock exchange and then in '98 they merged with NASDAQ creating-"

And so, Smithers rambled on about recent stock market history. Whenever he got started on the subject of stocks, he went on and on. He seemed to find some comfort in the distraction and Burns was content to let him continue. He knew just what buttons to push when it came to distracting Smithers. Only now, it amused him to think that flirtation might potentially be yet another method of distraction at his disposal if he so dared to use it. It could possibly be entertaining to see the affect he could have on Smithers given a few simple ambiguous compliments or gestures thrown his way once in a while. Smithers finally stopped his rambling as he seemed to notice that Burns wasn't really listening anymore.

"So, I guess I'll just go ahead and leave you alone. That is, unless you need anything else?" asked Smithers, nervously wringing his hands as if he didn't know what to do with them.

"No." Burns replied simply.

"OK. Well, I'll just be in my office then."

"Fine."

As Smithers headed for his office, Burns suddenly remembered something that he should have warned Smithers about earlier. Last night on his date with Lindsey, she had convinced Burns to hire a secretary for her. Unfortunately with office space at the plant limited, Smithers was going to have to share a room. Burns remained seated at his desk and braced himself for Smithers' inevitable reaction. The minute he walked in, he was sure to notice that there was another desk in there and he knew how wary Smithers was of anyone messing around in his office.

It was only a matter of time before he heard a loud, distressed yell coming from Smithers' office. He knew that he would hate having to share the space, but he hadn't expected that kind of reaction! Burns quickly rushed over to see what all the ruckus was about.

When he got there and took a look at the room, he couldn't believe his eyes! The whole place had been redecorated! It was like some horrible psychedelic nightmare full of god-awful bright neon colors as far as the eye could see. The desk chairs were covered in tacky, pink cheetah-print slipcovers and the carpet had been replaced with a new neon blue shag-carpeting. On the walls, pictures of Burns and Smithers' dog were now framed with furry pink and blue picture frames! Even his computer monitor had a new fur-fringed makeover.

"Mr. Burns! What the hell happened to my office? It looks like a rainbow just vomited all over the place! Is this a joke?" yelled Smithers. Burns squinted as he looked at the new decor, trying his best to see something positive about it. It reminded him of the hippie style of the seventies that he was glad to see go out of style.

"Well, it isn't really all that bad." lied Burns. "I looks like Lindsey's new secretary has a... unique sense of decorating!"

"Wait, she has an assistant? She's only worked for you for one day! I'm kind of surprised that you let her talk you into adding yet another employee to the payroll!" said Smithers. He really wasn't taking the news as well as Burns had hoped, but who could blame him? The room did look hideous. Burns would have to remain firm on the subject. A few harshly spoken words were usually enough to get Smithers to submit to his every demand.

"Well, it's my decision to hire anyone I want and that's final!" Burns commanded sternly. "You have no say in the matter."

Smithers sighed in defeat.

"Your also going to have to share an office." Burns added. "I've taken the liberty of adding another desk to the room. I'm sure you'll manage." Burns exited the room and into his own office. Smithers followed soon after. Smithers knew better than to complain for too long and seemed to think mumbling was the better option.

"Just great, some nosy old four-eyed hag with her hair in a tight bun is going to be prying around in my office. Just what I need." Smithers whined.

"Just who are you calling an old, four-eyed hag babe?" exclaimed a familiar, bossy sounding female voice. They turned around to see Naegle's new secretary standing in the doorway. She was the same inspector that had accompanied Lindsey during the inspection the other day.

"Oh my god! It's you! What are you doing here?" asked Smithers. Stella simply winked impishly and started giggling at how surprised Smithers was by her arrival.

The fact that Smithers seemed distressed had not slipped past Burns. His impression during the inspection was that Smithers was greatly annoyed by her. Perhaps it was a little hasty to let Lindsey choose her own secretary without consulting him first. Then again, Lindsey was very persuasive.

"I thought I made myself clear last night! What are you doing; stalking me?" Smithers exclaimed. "I told you, I'm not romantically interested in you!"

_'So something must have happened between those two last night.' _thought Burns.

"Don't be stupid Waylon! I'm not stalkin' you! I know you're not into women!" she said, waving a hand at him. A little color suddenly drained from Smithers' face at Stella's comment. Burns remained silent; after all, there really was nothing he could say or do except feign ignorance.

"Uh Stella, icksnay on the whole aygay subject!" said Smithers through gritted teeth.

"Oh! Sorry, I thought he knew! You mean you two aren't an um... item-ay?" asked Stella.

Smithers smacked his forehead in frustration. It seamed Stella wasn't quite as talented at disguising her words in Pig-Latin. Even Burns could understand everything they were saying in code, only he didn't really understand why Smithers objected to saying the word gay; everyone knows it means happy right?

"Anyway, did you see the office yet? I decorated it myself! You like?" asked Stella, jumping in place a little from excitement.

"Oh, like isn't the word for it!" said Smithers.

"Great! I sure hope it wasn't too forward of me to redecorate. It just looked too plain in there! You know, for a guy like yourself I was kind of expecting a little more style, more pizzazz! I thought all you guys were good decorators! I guess I was wrong! I just wish I was there when you saw it!"

Smithers and Burns both shared knowing looks. She really thought the office looked nice. It would have been fine for a teen hangout, but it was all very unprofessional in Burns' view.

"Hey, you know you left some of your groceries in my car last night. Lucky there was nothing perishable in there." Stella mentioned.

"Last night? So you two went out last night?" asked Burns. There he was under the impression that Smithers had been walking the streets, simply bored out of his mind and seething with jealousy at the fact that Burns had gone on a date, but no! He had gone out with someone as well, and a woman at that! The thought kind of worried him for some strange reason. Almost as if his view of Smithers had changed yet again. Was the man homosexual or not? Certainly you could never be attracted to both! Well, at least in Burns' sheltered views on the issue.

Smithers opened his mouth to speak but Stella cut him off.

"Yeah! You know it was the funniest thing! We met up at the grocery store and then we went out to Moe's for a couple of beers! Couldn't keep his hands off of me!"

"Oh, really?" Burns asked Stella but kept his eyesight on Smithers suspiciously. Just a moment ago Stella had mentioned that Smithers wasn't interested in women. Something just wasn't adding up. Smithers had the same look of bewilderment as Burns as Stella continued chattering away.

"Yep! Waylon is a real ladies man alright!" she announced proudly. Smithers spoke up.

"Why don't we step into my office for a sec? I really can't get over how much nicer it looks since you redecorated!" said Smithers, ushering her out of the room as if afraid of what she might say next. Burns stood alone, trying to sort out the meaning of it all. If what she said was correct, then Smithers really didn't like men after all? It came as somewhat of a disappointment. Burns was just starting to like all of the attention and admiration and it was flattering knowing that he could be the center of someone's attention all the time. It pissed him off to think that he had wasted the last few days, worried and stressed out, all for nothing? However, having written such explicitly detailed depictions of two men going at it like that, there was no way that his assistant could be straight. Stella must be covering for him. For some reason that he couldn't even admit to himself, he kind of hoped Smithers wasn't attracted to her. He didn't know why, but he didn't want to have to share his attention with anyone.

* * *

**A.N. - So the next chapter is gonna be where everything hits the fan. Thanks so kindly for the reviews.**


	14. Closeted

**Chapter Fourteen: Closeted**

They had just stepped into the newly redecorated office and Smithers was relieved to get Stella out of there and away from Burns. He had a lot of questions for her and he didn't quite know where to begin to make sense of it all.

"I don't get it! Why did you even take this job?" questioned Smithers. "I thought you hated working for Lindsey!"

"Anything is better than my life in Shelbyville." she sighed, taking on a more somber tone as she seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. "Then I thought about you, and how worried you were about your boss. I thought this might give me a chance to help out any way I can. You know, keep an eye out on Lindsey for you."

Was her life really that depressing and void of excitement that she would take it upon herself to help a perfect stranger? Didn't she have anything or anyone waiting for her in Shelbyville? Smithers felt a brief flash of sympathy for her, but there were still some things that he couldn't figure out.

"Well I applaud your efforts to help someone you just met, but why lie to Burns? Why would you give him the impression that I'm such a lady's man?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, but when I found out that Mr. Burns was clueless about everything, I just though I'd try to cover up for all the gay comments I made. I didn't make it worse did I?" said Stella excitedly, rushing her words in an attempt to rectify her error in judgment. Smithers supposed there really was no harm done; Burns seemed pretty clueless about his motives most of the time, so everything Stella had said probably went way over his head anyway. At least that's what he hoped.

"It's actually really complicated, this thing between Mr. Burns and I... Of course I don't want him to know the truth yet, but-"

"The truth?" Stella interrupted. "Why do you care whether or not old Burnsie knows anyway?"

Smithers supposed his silence was answer enough. Stella seemed pretty savvy when it came to matters of the heart. She would be able to see right through him. After a moment, she spoke again.

"Wait, are we talking about you being gay or is it something else your keeping from him?" she asked. Smithers had already anticipated her prying questions and wondered just how much he should reveal to her. She seemed trustworthy, but she also didn't seem to be the best person to trust with a secret of such magnitude.

"Uh, it's kind of a sensitive subject you know." he answered vaguely. Hopefully she would take the hint.

"Hmm, gotcha."she said. Smithers lightly brushed the tip of his shoe along the blue, shaggy carpet as the moment dragged on, just the two of them standing alone in the brightly decorated office.

"So how long you been crushin' on old Burnsie anyway?" she asked suddenly; catching him off guard.

"What?" he exclaimed.

The sheer impulsiveness of the question had come as a shock to him. He new she would probably have her suspicions, but not once in his life had anyone had the audacity to outright ask him that before! He didn't know quite how to respond.

"Come on. I'm not stupid. It's pretty obvious really. So how long?"

"Well... I-I...uh." He was definitely at a loss for words and walked across the room to his desk, running his hand across the furred computer monitor as he considered just how to respond. Maybe now would be good time to bring up another topic. "Why don't we save this conversation for another time? I still have a few things I need to know."

"Fine, didn't meant to put you on the spot there... I mean, it's your business. I just thought that I'd be here if you need me! I got no one in my old town that needs me, so I just sort of latched onto someone... like you. I hope that doesn't sound too creepy."

"No, not at all." said Smithers, laughing nervously. It did sound kind of strange, but Stella was one that said strange things anyway, so coming from her it almost sounded normal.

"But you two _do_ look _really_ cute together." she said in her singsong voice.

"You think so?" he found himself asking curiously, detracted momentarily. "Um, anyway, I was just wondering... Lindsey was a safety inspector right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I just don't get it. You have to know a lot about nuclear reactors and have lots of formal training in the field. Is she even qualified? How did she ever get a job at the NRC anyway?" asked Smithers. It seemed strange that such suspicions had only recently arisen. Lindsey was famous around Springfield for her business and marketing skills, not her knowledge of nuclear energy!

"The NRC? Who ever said she worked for them?" asked Stella. "Lindsey and I met at the local environmental group. It's completely volunteer work."

"Doesn't work for... Wait a minute!" he exclaimed, staring at her in disbelief. "Your telling me that the woman isn't an official inspector?"

"No way! Whatever gave you that impression?"

"I-I've got to tell Mr. Burns about this!" he said, a sudden panic gripping him at the thought of what Lindsey could be capable of. He knew something about her wasn't right! "You're completely sure about this?"

"Uh huh! But what does that have to do with anything?" she asked, but Smithers was already headed out the door, apologizing briefly as he passed her.

- o - o - o -

The previous conversation with Smithers and Stella had left Mr. Burns somewhat confused. Smithers was supposed to be miserable and jealous of Lindsey! Not out on the town having fun with that gussied-up chatterbox! Now, by some strange twist of fate, it seemed Burns was the jealous one!

His feelings regarding Smithers had become rather confusing lately, clouding his judgment. Thoughts of whether or not he should be even considering returning Smithers love were becoming more prevalent as time passed. He didn't really know what he wanted just yet and even if he did just let himself fall for Smithers, he knew that his own stubbornness would hold him back from ever making a move. But what if he were wrong? What if Smithers was really attracted to Stella and had never loved him in the first place?

He didn't really know why it was nagging him so much, but one thing was for certain, if he didn't find out soon, he knew the curiosity would just eat him alive! But how? How on earth was he suppose to figure out such an intimate detail that Smithers kept so well guarded?

One idea did come to mind but Burns was hesitant. If he were to subtly brush against Smithers or say some vague flirtatious comment to see his reaction, then maybe that would give him the answers he needed. Only, how could he pull off such a feat and not appear too obvious? Perhaps the best option would be to wait for the opportunity to show itself.

The doors to Smithers office swung open suddenly, startling him. Smithers looked like he was distressed about something as he stormed towards Burns' desk, resting his hands against the polished, wooden surface.

"Mr. Burns'! She doesn't work for the NRC! I told you she was up to no good!" said Smithers in an exasperated tone. Burns stood up from his seat.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"It's Ms. Naegle! I just found out that the group she works for is a volunteer environmentalist group! She just used the NRC name to blackmail you into hiring her! She's a business school graduate! She's not even qualified to be an inspector!" said Smithers.

It was all too much to take in so suddenly and it took Burns a moment to even register what his assistant had just blurted out to him. So Lindsey wasn't an inspector? Burns wasn't really sure what to believe and wondered if this wasn't just some sick joke, some jealous ploy by Smithers to brake them up!

"Don't be ridiculous! This plant has security! They'd never let someone pose as an NRC inspector!" said Burns. Stella suddenly jumped into the conversation.

"Think about it Burnsie, maybe you are the only one she convinced that she was from the NRC! I didn't here her telling anyone else at the gates. When they asked for her ID, she gave them her environmental club ID!"

"But the plant would still never allow volunteer inspectors, only government inspectors are allowed in!" Burns stated firmly.

"But you allowed her in sir! You're the one that's ultimately in charge of such things!" said Smithers, barely able to maintain his own distress as he spoke.

This was a cause for concern. Burns had let her in thinking she really was from the government. What ever happened, he would be solely responsible since he had failed to check her out ahead of time. Wasn't that Smithers' job to keep him out of situations like this? But he had kept the whole inspection a secret from Smithers until the last minute, so he had only himself to blame. Burns looked to see Smithers and Stella both staring at him, obviously wondering if he'd buy into their story or not. Burns turned his back to them and slowly strolled over to the large window behind his desk, crows kawing just outside as he peered out over the city.

He had suspected that there was something fishy about Lindsey from the beginning, but he had let his attraction to her distort his better judgment. However, this whole conversation wasn't about his love life. He was supposed to be considering how to deal with her dishonesty! Did she really make up such an elaborate story just to get a job at the plant?

"Uh, Mr. Burns?" asked Smithers, interrupting Burns' train of thought. "Didn't you say she left the inspection papers here for you to fill out?" asked Smithers. Burns continued staring from the window as he spoke.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?" asked Burns inattentively, distracted as he looked out over the landscape, letting his mind wonder.

"Well I've seen those kinds of documents hundreds of times! I bet you I could spot a fake if I saw it! Where did you put it?" asked his assistant, eager to get his hands on said document to prove his point. Either he was right about Lindsey, or he was insanely jealous of her. The latter of which, Burns didn't mind one bit. Burns turned towards him, gesturing towards his desk.

"It's in my top drawer."

"Okay, I'll just have a look at it then." Smithers brushed passed Stella and around the desk, rummaging around for the inspection reports. After a moment, Burns noticed that Smithers had suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. It was rather curious sight at first as Burns watched the color drain from his face. It looked almost as if he'd seen a spider or some other pest roaming around in the drawer until the realization finally set in.

Before he could do anything, even before he had the time to panic, he just knew that Smithers had found it! The vampire story; all three hundred and fifty-two unbound pages of it! Burns didn't know if the frantic heartbeat he heard was his own or Smithers' from across the room. Smithers stood motionless, unable to even speak. For a moment, Burns thought his assistant might actually fall to the floor since his knees looked a little weak. Smithers took a few steps back. Stella rushes over to him, grabbing onto his arm to steady him.

"Babe, You alright? What happened?" asked Stella affectionately, seeming to snap him back to reality. Burns could do nothing but stare in disbelief and wring his hands nervously. Smithers instinctively pulled away from her grasp, his eyes downcast to the floor shamefully.

"I-I guess there's no doubt that you... read it then..." said Smithers; his solemn voice, barely audible.

Burns felt almost as if time had suddenly stopped. He almost wished it had just so he'd have enough time to calm himself. At this rate, he couldn't even find his voice. Smithers still hadn't looked at him and remained staring at the floor. Stella was still pretty clueless as she stood in the middle of it all.

"I-I don't know what to say!" Smithers muttered. Burns had to do something! He had to lie, anything to save them both the embarrassment, but he was still at a loss for words. Smithers should be the only one embarrassed, not himself! Burns approached him cautiously.

"Smithers?" he said finally.

"I'm sorry." Smithers cried. He then fled towards the utility closet on the far side of Burns' office and slammed the door behind him. The deafening slam, adding a certain finality to the whole awkward scene.

* * *

**A.N. - Long wait again, sorry. =P The stress and busy schedule was killing me for a while but I'm back! Just like to thank all the reviewers again, I get excited to read reviews so don't worry about insulting me Darmed, cuz I love advice so I might still be willing to concider that marriage proposal lol! I've definitely gotten more drama and... uh, stuff planned for Baines and Wallace after the bitch-slap, but Burns just hasn't found the rest yet xD.**

**To TourmalineTrue: Don't worry, more cute Smithers/Burns stuff ahead! lots =P**

**And to Katerinoooz: Yeah, I kind of secretly like Smithers' new office too... just a little... hides self shamefully xD**

**Coming Up Soon: Burns gets yelled at by Stella for mistreating Smithers lol! Later, Burns actually finds more of the story and it ends on a major cliffhanger. Only, how can he get the rest of the story without actually asking Smithers for it? Then comes the charity banquet, dancing and a little matchmaking from Stella. Hope she doesn't mess things up. I really don't know whats going to happen yet, I'll tell Stella to give me a call if it all works out. xD**


	15. Behind Closed Doors

**Chapter Fifteen: Behind Closed Doors**

Smithers had just unceremoniously fled the room on the verge of tears, leaving Burns to deal with the aftermath. Every agonizing second that passed was another second that Smithers was in there torturing himself from embarrassment. Every second, like another grain of sand in the hourglass all leading up to the confrontation that he knew was inevitable.

After a moment of standing around and trying to make sense of it all, Burns slowly crossed the room and rested the palms of his hands against the desk, head hung shamefully and feeling utterly defeated. The last couple of days had been both emotionally and physically exhausting. Not only from the lack of sleep, but also from the emotional roller-coaster that Smithers had been inadvertently putting him through. He sighed as he took the moment to calm his overwrought nerves and to gain some perspective on the situation. He had to remain rational if he were to pick up the pieces and salvage what remained of their whole, messed up relationship.

"What was that all about?" came a sudden, vaguely familiar voice from behind him.

Burns glanced over to see that it was Stella. No doubt that she seemed sort of lost in all of the chaos. He'd forgotten that she'd even been in the room with all that had happened.

"What just happened? Why did he run off like that?" she asked again.

Burns ignored her for the moment and quietly crept closer to the closet that Smithers was currently hiding himself away in. He had to say something, but the right words seemed to have escaped him. He pressed his hand flat against the door, imagining Smithers on the other side. At least the two inches of wooden door between them served as a barrier of sorts. Perhaps it would be easier to talk to him this way, knowing that he didn't have to face him just yet. Burns nervously swallowed, his throat uncomfortably dry as he finally spoke.

"Smithers, you _are_ still alive in there aren't you?" he asked jokingly, though a part of him was a little concerned.

"Please...j-just go away. I'm sure that I'm the last person you want to see right now."

Burns paused for a moment. Smithers did have the tendency to get quite dramatic sometimes and he wasn't quite sure what his next move should be. Of course Smithers would be upset. At least Burns had had a while to come to terms with everything. Smithers had this whole thing sprung on him so unexpectedly. He supposed the best thing would be to leave him alone for a while to calm down, but for some reason, he just didn't want to let it go.

"Really, it's not such a big deal." said Burns, trying his best to make light of it. "I'm pretty sure many historical authors wrote a few things that they'd wished they'd kept hidden away, so just stop acting like a fool and come out of the closet already!"

"Yeah, go ahead and make jokes. That's all I am to you isn't it? A joke!"

"I said no such thing Smithers! If you'd just stop all of the ridiculous caterwauling for just one second you'd realize that!"

"Please... sir." Smithers interrupted. "Why don't you just leave me in here to die and let the three-eyed rats gnaw away on my cold, lifeless corpse!"

"Well, going for an academy award are you?" joked Burns.

After a long silence, Burns started to become annoyed and a little uneasy. Smithers wasn't taking this well at all and Burns simply wasn't one to coddle and console others. He just wasn't raised that way and had always felt uncomfortable when people lost control of their emotions around him. He had no idea whether or not Smithers was actually crying in there, but the distraught tone held in his voice was very telling as to just what kind of unhinged, irrational state he was in. Burns hated not being in control of the situation and was becoming annoyed with himself for not being able to fix everything.

"Well fine Smithers, JUST FINE!" Burns bellowed. "I'm not going to beg! You can stay in there forever for all I care!"

With that outburst, Burns irritably stalked away from the closet door and plonked himself down in his chair. Why did Smithers have to make things so difficult? There he was, trying his best to lighten the mood and Smithers seemed to be trying his best to complicate everything.

Maybe he should just leave Smithers alone for a while to cool off. After all, the whole experience of having your inner most secret revealed must be pretty traumatic. It made sense that he'd want to keep his distance and hide himself away from the world for a while.

"I can't believe you!" said Stella incredulously, sparking Burns out of his daze. "Obviously you know something is upsetting him and you're just going to yell at him and leave him in there like that? What kind of a friend is that? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"What are you still doing here?" said Burns in surprise. It was strange that she even took such an interest in the situation when Burns barely even remembered her name. He was already a wreck, the last thing he needed was someone he barely knew to be yelling at him and butting her nose into his affairs. The bold woman took a few steps towards Burns, who remained seated.

"Something is going on here and I don't know what it is, but I have the feeling it's all your fault! What did you do to him?" she ordered, slamming her fist against the desk slightly. Burns was a little taken aback.

"That, young lady, is none of your concern! You shouldn't even be in here!"

"What do you mean it's none of my concern? Waylon is my friend and the only reason I took this job was to keep an eye on things for him! It seems he cares a lot about you, though I don't know why, you just seem like a stupid old meanie to me!"

"I beg your pardon! Just who do you think you are, speaking to me like that? I don't have time to worry about your interference!" Burns sneered, his annoyance mounting. He noticed that she was standing precisely where his trap door was hidden and he had the urge to just be done with her then and there, but decided against it.

"So you're going to leave him in there? What happened anyway? Why did he lock himself in?"

"Well- just how much do you know anyway?" asked Burns nervously. He stood up from his seat and walked over to her. "Has Smithers... told you anything? About me?"

"Uh...wait, how much do you know? I thought he was keeping it a secret!" she exclaimed.

"Well that's just perfect!" Burns complained. "There's no telling what he's told all of his other friends about me!"

"Relax Burnsie. If you're talking about what I think your talking about then rest assured that I won't breathe a word of this to anyone! So, I take it that you somehow found out this secret love that he has for you? That's what this is about isn't it?"

Burns reaches over, clasping a hand across her mouth to stifle her words.

"Quiet you! You want the whole world to hear?" muttered Burns.

"Come on Monty, it's not like the office is bugged or anything. Like there's really going to be anyone out there interested in hearing your torrid little secrets."

"You never know, some people can be very voyeuristic when it comes to other peoples lives!" said Burns, looking around the room with a quite justified sense of paranoia.

"Yeah yeah, what ever!" she said, crossing her arms. "Don't get your undies all in a knot Burnsie. I think what you should do is get over there right now and just calm him down; let him know that it's not the end of the world, you know? At least let him know that you don't hate him! You don't do you?" Burns turned away and took a few steps, distancing himself.

"Of course I don't, but I still don't know why you think it's your business! I'll do whatever I damn well please and if you don't like it then – I'll just tell Lindsey to find herself another secretary!"

"Yeah? Well... All I have to say is that the guy seriously loves you! I honestly have no idea why, but he does and from what I've seen, if it weren't for him, you'd be completely alone because no one else can stand to be around you!"

Burns took a step back; her words actually seemed to have struck a cord with him somehow. If it weren't for Smithers, he truly would be alone in the world. Was it really love that he felt for Smithers? How are you supposed to know something like that? Burns had thought he'd felt love before but this thing he felt for Smithers was different and it was sort of frightening. He didn't know why, but he sort of knew that what he felt was stronger than any other emotion he'd felt for anyone and it surprised him to think that he might have felt this way for much longer than he cared to admit. Of course, in the beginning it was just the friendship and it still was wasn't it? He wondered.

"What are you... are you getting some vicarious thrill out of trying to match us together?" asked Burns. "What if I don't want his love? Did the thought ever occur to you that I might just be a little too fond of the ladies to even consider him?" said Burns, exasperated at having to explain himself to this strange woman. "Even if I do talk to him, he's not going to like what I have to say! You can't just force us together if I don't want to be a part of it!"

"I'm not trying to force you two together! I'm just saying..." she paused, her voice suddenly softening a bit as she continued. "I guess it's kinda tough on you too huh? Just figure something out okay? I'll leave you alone, but you better not upset him while I'm gone! I mean it!"

Finally, she left the room, giving Burns a little breathing room. He knew he was going to have to give it another try and talk to Smithers again. He couldn't just let him stay in there all day. Burns sighed resignedly, preparing himself for what was to come. He once again returned to the closet door, unsure of himself even as he prepared to speak.

- o - o - o -

There he sat, in the dark, musty old closet, knees drawn close to his chest and a sick, gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had been listening to Burns and Stella talking in the other room and it felt very unnerving hearing Burns actually having a conversation so openly about the very secret that he had guarded fiercely for so long. It seemed Burns was actually taking it better that he was. It wasn't suppose to happen this way.

"Not like this." he kept repeating to himself.

The worst part was hearing some of Burns' responses to Stella. He kept hearing Burns' voice in his mind, playing over what he'd just heard through the door. Phrases like, "What if I don't want his love?" and "He's not going to like what I have to say." Burns had even mentioned something about being too fond of women to even consider Smithers. It was all pretty devastating even though he just knew in his heart that Burns had felt that way all along.

It was for those very reasons that he had always hesitated to reveal his true feelings long ago. Fear of rejection, of repulsion on Burns' part. After all, he knew he couldn't expect a perfectly heterosexual man to suddenly change his sexual orientation just for him. He knew it was hopeless to let himself fall for Burns in the first place when he was young, but that didn't stop him. Now he felt like he was paying the consequences for his indiscretion of the heart.

After a while Burns' voice grew silent and Stella seemed to have left. Smithers tensed, instinctively clutching his arms tight around his knees. Stella had been urging Burns to talk to him, but he still wasn't prepared to see Mr. Burns just yet. It was all happening too fast and he wished he had a pause button somewhere just to give him time to think.

A light knocking on the door suddenly shattered his already frazzled nerves. He quickly stood to his feet, anticipating how this would go and expecting the worse.

"Smithers, let me in." Burns called, his voice a little softer than expected.

"I'd rather not... sir." Smithers muttered. He didn't want to have this conversation. He knew Burns was out there, just a few inches away on the other side of the door, planning ways to let him down easily. He was actually already prepared for Burns' rejection, but he just didn't want to actually hear it put into words.

"Things couldn't possibly get any worse Smithers, so you open the door this instant or-

"Or what?" Smithers found himself asking brazenly.

"Just open it now you idiot!"

After a moments' hesitation, he finally found the resolve to unlatch the door. Burns, most likely hearing the clicking of the latch, turned the doorknob and the door slowly cracked open with a loud uncomfortable creak. Burns slowly crept into the closet, shutting the door behind him. Thankfully, the room wasn't too small, leaving at least three feet between them, much larger than his tiny closet in his apartment. As soon as the door creaked shut, they were at once, bathed in darkness. The only light came from the crack of the door giving him a vague outline of Burns standing before him. The barrier that stood between them, now gone. Smithers was the first to speak.

"I know... I – I'm fired aren't I?" Smithers took a deep breath, his eyes burning from unshed tears. "You can just forget this weeks' paycheck. I'll just leave."

"Who says anything about you being fired? Stop all of this overreacting."

"I don't see how you can even talk to me after reading... what you read."

Burns grew silent for a while. Smithers had lots of conflicting thoughts as the seconds passed. For one, he wished Burns would say something because the silence was agonizing. Tension hung heavy in the air, almost as though you could cut it with a butter knife.

"Forget it. It's just a story, a rather well-written story I might add, but it's still not something you should torture yourself over." said Burns earnestly. Smithers couldn't believe what he was hearing! Burns was actually telling him not to worry? Could it actually be that he had read it and hadn't been shocked by what he read? How could he be so calm and non-nonchalant about something like that?

"So you did read it? I don't understand; how did you find it?" asked Smithers. He could hear Burns shifting around uncomfortably in the dark.

"Just forget it! We have a plant to run and I don't want you shut up in here all day! It's really not such a big deal!" said Burns.

"Wait! – Back up a second. So your not mad? You actually think it was... well-written?"asked Smithers curiously, momentarily forgetting his nervousness.

"Well, yes... I suppose it was."

"So, you're saying you actually liked my writing?" asked Smithers in disbelief, surprised that he had somehow gotten over his earlier apprehension and was actually talking to him.

"I didn't say I liked it!" said Burns irritably.

"So I guess its pretty obvious then... that Baines seems a lot like you? I mean... I'm pretty sure I accidentally typed your name in there a couple of times instead of his."

"That's enough Smithers." barked Burns.

"But, I just can't believe you read everything! Even um... that one chapter where Baines rips off Wallace's shirt and –"

"Smithers I told you I don't want to hear about it! Just because your beloved characters in your book were getting it on like a couple of rabbits, doesn't mean it's ever going to happen between us! So you should just get all of those sick thoughts out of your head right now before I say something...that... I'll regret..." said Burns, his sentence trailing off as he seemingly realized that what he had said would probably hurt Smithers. And it did.

So there it was. The words that he had so dreaded for the last couple of decades. Burns had practically confirmed what Smithers had suspected and he just knew that he shouldn't have pushed the issue. He had practically forced Burns to retaliate, to put up this wall just to distance himself from any emotion that he might have.

Smithers found it hard to swallow as an uncomfortable knot formed in his throat from his impending tears. He hated crying, especially in front of Burns. Even shrouded by the darkness of the closet it felt humiliating. He somehow managed to remain silent, as he felt the wetness trailing down his face, betraying his own facade of control. He was thankful that Burns couldn't see it.

He sensed movement and could see Burns' outline moving towards him until he just knew Burns was standing merely inches away. His eyes widened as he strained to see what Burns was doing. That's when he felt the same familiar touch across his cheek that he had the other day. Burns' hand seemed to be searching for something as his cool fingertips trailed down his cheek. He stood, motionless as those fingers brushed away the tears that had fallen, trailing lower, down his neck, finally coming to a stop on his right shoulder, lingering there for a long suspenseful moment.

His pulse was rapid, he was afraid to move, afraid that one wrong motion might break the spell and he'd never find out just where this was leading to. For all he knew, Burns was simply offering a kind gesture to a friend but that seemed very unlikely with the awkwardness that already permeated the air in the scant-few inches between them.

He felt a slight pressure on his shoulder as he felt Burns, his hand slightly shaky, pulling him closer. So close that he could feel the warmth radiating from him. His small frame now pressed flatly against him. Neither said a word, even if Smithers wanted to say something, he knew that he couldn't. Not with Burns pressed so firmly against him like that.

It seemed almost surreal, as if it were the beginning of one of his silly fantasies, yet he knew it wasn't. The reality of it, of Burns' weight against him, of Burns' hand, now hesitantly creeping along the back of his neck and into his hair. He could feel Burns' hesitance for a second before finally leaning in closer. The reality, the tangibility of having him this close was nothing like he imagined. Burns finally made contact, kissing him on the side of the cheek. Smithers gasped, even such an innocently brief kiss was a little overwhelming, especially with Burns being the one initiating it!

Smithers had barely moved an inch the whole time, wondering when Burns would back away, but he never did. Instead, he felt Burns lips brush lightly over his own. The darkness almost made it seem unreal and Smithers remained paralyzed, unable to move even as Burns kissed him again, now more ardently than before yet still cautiously, as if it were all some strange experiment and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to like or not. Burns hands, now timidly brushing along his sides and along his hip.

Burns adjusted his footing, moving his body slightly against Smithers in the process, inciting a sudden, unintended moan from Smithers. Burns ceased any further movement and pulled away from him a little. Smithers wanted to do something, to pull him back again, but he remained still. Burns still pressed against him yet he could tell that the wheels were starting to turn as Burns started to come to grips with what had just happened.

Burns abruptly released him, backing away and Smithers could hear his hand fumbling around with the door knob, apparently so shaken that it took him quite a while to even get a grip on the thing. Smithers finally found himself able to move again and reached for the knob, turning it, his hand brushing against Mr. Burns'. The door finally cracked open, the sudden disorienting light from the office was almost blinding as it took a couple of seconds for his eyes to adjust. Smithers' face was hot and no doubt as red as a radish. He watched as Burns crossed the room, scratching the back of his head nervously. Smithers had no idea what he should do with himself and almost longed for the comfort and solitude that the closet provided.

"I – I'll... just be in my office then..." Smithers managed to say.

He crossed past Burns and into his own office, the door slamming behind him unintentionally. He was thankful that Stella was no where in sight. He couldn't deal with her right now. He sat down in the cheetah-spotted office chair, elbows propped up on his desk and hung his head. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously, which only served to remind him that Burns' fingers had previously, only seconds ago, ran through his hair in a similar fashion. Now what was supposed to happen? He'd never imagined actually going that far with Burns and had no earthly clue where to go from there, or if Burns would even allow it!

* * *

**A.N. -**** It's chapter fifteen already? I had no idea this thing would stretch out this long! Glad to finally have chapter fifteen posted anyway, kinda longer than the last few chapters. I had a little fun with all of the "in the closet" metaphors throughout the chapter xD. Hope you like... and if not, what are you doing reading this far anyway? **

**-The end-**

**Just kidding – To be continued! ;)**


	16. I Want You

**Chapter Sixteen: I Want You**

It was unknown territory. Standing there in closet, the all-consuming darkness encircling them, reminding him of just how lost he really felt. Tension permeated the silent distance between them and it seemed very disorienting knowing that Smithers was within arm's reach, yet he still could barely see him.

The dead-silence dragged on. Burns simply couldn't shake the fact that he had just practically destroyed any shred of hope that Smithers had been holding onto and it weighed heavy on him. Him, a man that didn't give a damn about anyone's feelings, actually felt a mixture of sympathy and guilt along with a strange, impulsive need to to reach out, to let his hands see where his eyes could not.

As he brushed away the tears, something urged him on. He wasn't ready to just leave things the way they were and walk away from this just yet. He needed to try something. Some part of him, whether it be natural curiosity or some strange magnetic force, moved him, daring him to find out where it could potentially lead.

Burns let his hand travel, uncertainly to Smithers shoulder, still well within the realm of appropriate, friendly consoling, Burns reminded himself. However, the urge to do more was still there and he was beginning to find it difficult to think rationally as his curiosity consumed all logic. He soon found himself pulling Smithers to him, the lack of softness and curves that he was accustomed to was apparent; though, such details seemed irrelevant at the moment.

The rest was all a dizzying blur. Fingers snaking through hair, hands wandering to places that he knew they shouldn't as he proceeded cautiously to kiss him awkwardly on the cheek. The next time, his aim a little more accurate as he found his lips. He had expected it would be a completely different experience than kissing a woman, yet strangely enough, he found that there was little difference at all, especially within the darkness surrounding them.

His hands instinctfully wandered along Smithers hip as he was vaguely aware of a little voice in his head telling him that it wasn't supposed to continue on like this! He was supposed to kiss him, find out he didn't like it, and be done with it. Yet, he continued and it would have probably went on longer if he hadn't been drawn back to reality by Smithers' lustful gasp.

Burns stopped everything; rational thought suddenly overwhelming him, scolding him for his lack of control. He finally backed away, reaching behind for the doorknob and becoming even more flustered when he couldn't get a hold of it fast enough.

- O - O - O -

Finally, with everyone out of the way, Burns sat alone in his office. Smithers hadn't come out of his own office for nearly two hours and one could only imagine what would happen when he did. Burns had ran though the whole gamut of emotions and had concluded that he had only made things worse. How could he turn Smithers down now when all he felt like doing was throwing him back into the closet and continuing their little experimental escapade.

That's the conclusion he had inexplicably come to in the last couple of hours when he was supposed to be working and he didn't like it one bit. He didn't want to feel such things about his assistant! He'd been a part of Smithers' life for too long, ever since he was a child, and it all felt too wrong, too perverted for him to even consider! Of course, that was long ago and they were both definitely way over the age of consent.

_'It was all because of that stupid novel!'_ thought burns. If he had never bothered to read it in the first place, perhaps he would have never even been compelled to act out such impulses.

As he sat behind his desk, drowning in his own guilt, the double doors to his office swung open. It was Lindsey who of course, arrived unannounced past security once again. He had never taken the time to give her security clearance with the guards yet she managed to roam freely to any part of the plant she pleased. Burns didn't really like anyone usurping his authority, not even Lindsey. Though, he chose to overlook it for now.

"So what did I miss? Another exciting morning at the plant no doubt?" asked Lindsey, standing before him. Burns remained seated, fingers regally lased together upon his desk.

"Ms. Naegle, I thought you were to report to me first thing in the morning!" snapped Burns unintentionally.

"Well, Monty! Aren't we in a fowl mood today?" she asked.

"Is there something you wish to discuss?" asked Burns, a cold, distant tone held in his voice. The thought of how he'd been humiliated at her house the night before wasn't far from his thoughts. He had dreaded seeing her all morning, though that seemed unimportant right now, considering everything that had happened with Smithers.

"I'm sorry," said Lindsey, sitting on the corner of his desk crossing her legs. "I know I should have reported to you first, but I just couldn't wait to crack open those records and get started!"

Burns found it hard to concentrate as his eyes were instinctively drawn to her, the way her gray skirt clung against her leg as she sat. It was sort of surprising to him that even now, after the way she had treated him, that he could still be attracted to her. What surprised him even more was that he could be attracted to both Smithers and her at the same time. He'd always thought such things were more black and white than that; never really considering the whole gray area that could exist. Then again, maybe ogling Lindsey was purely habit, one that would go away with time. It was all very confusing and threatened to give him a headache if he thought about it too much.

"Trust me, you cut loose the long time workers with all their fancy-schmancy retirement plans and hire temporaries, the profit margin will go through the roof! The amount of sick leave and holidays these slackers get are ridiculous! Uh, Mr. Burns? Are you listening?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes... ridiculous." he muttered. He was aware that she'd been talking, but had barely paid any attention to anything said.

"Monty, I don't know if it's just my imagination, but you seem... distracted? Did I keep you up too late last night?"

"What? Don't you even remember? You were there!" Burns exclaimed, unlacing his fingers. He was sort of shocked that she'd forget something like that, since he was pretty sure that it would be shamefully etched into his mind for quite a while.

"Yeah but, well... I sort of had a little too much of the bubbly, you know how it goes." said Lindsey. She slowly stood up and walked around the desk to Burns, leaning down slightly to playfully tug on his tie. Then, she unexpectedly sat across Burns' lap. Her weight was a little much on his poor legs, but it wasn't unbearable. She began seductively drawing little circles across his chest. He really hated the effect she was having on him since he was supposed to still be angry at her.

"I'm pretty sure last night was one to remember!" she said.

"Really? As I recall, you became impatient when I couldn't..." Burns trailed off. His erectile problems were the last thing he wanted to discuss with anyone.

"Impatient how?"

"Well, you know things don't happen as quickly when you get to be my age. You practically stripped me half-naked and then when the foreplay became a bore to you, you just fell asleep and left me standing there! How do you expect me to forget something like that? I felt like an idiot! I had to call a cab just to get home!"

"Oh..." she paused, thoughtful for a second. "I'm sorry. I guess I can be a little insensitive after a few drinks. Please, won't you let me make it up to you? I assure you, next time I'll make sure to keep you entertained!"

"Things like that shouldn't have to be planned. They should be spontaneous, unexpected, but, to be honest... you're –" Burns stopped mid-sentence. Smithers had finally decided that this was the time to emerge from his office.

"– you're proposal intrigues me and I'll make sure to review it and get back to you! Goodbye Ms. Naegle!"

His timing couldn't possibly be worse. Burns quickly pushed her from his lap. Lindsey stared at him, wide-eyed at being so forcefully pushed away. Burns spotted Smithers who also seemed to be stunned. Strange. He would have suspected Smithers to look a little more hurt by this. After all, he had just walked in while Lindsey was sprawled across his lap!

Lindsey finally spotted Smithers and quickly brushed her skirt flat. She seemed unfazed by his sudden arrival so Burns assumed that Stella really had kept her promise to keep her mouth shut.

"Great! Well, I guess I'll see you at the banquet then! I can't wait! Bye Monty." she said, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead before she left.

Unfortunately, with her gone, this left them alone in the room for the first time since they'd both left the closet.

Burns, at a loss for anything better to do, stood up from his seat, rubbing his hands over his legs to get some of the circulation flowing again. Lindsey wasn't all that heavy, but she did manage to give him a cramp in both thighs. After a moment, Burns sat on on the edge of his desk, making a conscious effort not to look at Smithers as he kept his eyesight to the floor. He unconsciously ran his hand across his neck, a slight distraction that he often did under stress. Burns dared to look over to Smithers and had only just noticed that he had a plate with two cups of coffee.

Smithers occasionally would make them both a cup and sit in the office with Burns and the two would drink coffee together while he listen to Burns' latest gripes or whatever else the conversation brought up. Did Smithers really plan on getting in to a chatting session after everything that happened? Smithers slowly approached Burns' desk and sat the serving platter down, taking one of the cups for himself.

Smithers then cautiously took a step back, seemingly aware that he was standing a little too close. For a moment, their eyes met. Smithers looked like he wanted to leave and all Burns wanted was to regain some form of normalcy back. Burns looked away, quickly searching for the right words to say.

"Smithers, I want you-" Burns muttered.

_CRASH!_ Smithers cup coffee cup was nothing more than white shards that had scattered in all directions, coffee all over the red carpet, effectively interrupting Burns' intended sentence. The double-meaning of what he had just said, finally catching up to him.

"I... uh... want you to..." Burns struggled, finding it hard to speak, "to finish up work early today. We can't manage any overtime. The charity uh... thing is..."

"Banquet." added Smithers, finally snapping out of his daze and bending down to gather all of the shards.

"Yes, the thing... it's tomorrow night you know."

"Mm hmm."

'_So much for having the usual chat over a cup of coffee.'_ thought Burns. Nothing about the whole week had been usual for them and he was pretty sure things would only get crazier from then on. Burns wasn't sure if he should welcome such a change or not if it meant things would always be so awkward whenever his assistant was around.

* * *

**A. N. - ~Heh, heh, sorry for the misleading chapter title.~ Yeah, did a re-cap from Burn's POV. -couldn't resist- I was kind of lazy with this chapter. I took a twelve day break from writing while I went through some crap with some friends, then I wrote everything in two days when I realized how long I'd been away. It was fun though. Writing is always a distraction from the world. My best work is often when I'm pissed-off or under stress... I guess I'd do pretty good in prison then... I dunno how to make those shank things though... so I guess I should stay out of trouble.**

**Up next: I can't tell you, because then you'll get bored knowing what will happen! Let's just say, Burns and Smithers find themselves in another tight place. Later on Burns finds some stuff that Smithers wrote years ago, love letters and... stupid sentimental junk like that xD. Hopefully he finds more Baines/Wallace stuff to read. I'll have to make sure Burns takes the rest of the story home with him! Maybe I'll sneak it in his briefcase before he leaves. ;)**


	17. A Forked Path

**Chapter Seventeen: A Forked Path**

For the remainder of the workday, Smithers had spent most of the time in his office, yet he'd barely gotten anything productive done. The day's events played over in his mind repeatedly. He knew something was up with Burns, the way he had been acting for a while, but he had no idea that he actually had a copy of the story! Where did he even get it anyway? When he found it lying in Burns' drawer, he felt like his world had suddenly stopped. He had no where to turn; the only thing he could think to do was to find a place to hide like a scared animal.

He had sat in that dark closet, afraid of what might happen, afraid of the unknown. When Burns finally had convinced him to open the door, he didn't know what to expect. The last thing he'd expected was for Burns to actually kiss him! It was so unexpected that he felt paralyzed by Burns' sudden impulsiveness, certainly never the way he imagined things to happen. Burns' reaction puzzled him. He'd always thought that if Burns ever found out his secret, that it would all be over and he would simply get rid of him like an old newspaper. Burns wasn't suppose to show him any affection. What had caused such a change? Nothing about Mr. Burns made sense anymore. For some reason, it seemed a little too early to get excited since things in his life never seemed to happen that easily for him. Perhaps it would be best to tread cautiously around Burns for the next few days; if he were lucky, perhaps they would get trapped in an elevator or some other closed in place, and Burns would try it all over again. If there were a next time, Smithers didn't plan on standing there motionless like a dummy.

Finally, his shift was over. That also meant that he would have to take Burns home and fix dinner and do whatever else he wanted done. He was almost afraid to even be around him, as if something might go wrong or he'd say the wrong thing. Everything lately was so emotionally charged that any little slip-up could spell disaster.

Fortunately, nothing of the sort happened. They'd went out to the parking lot and Smithers opened the car door for him like always. It was kind of unsettling for Burns to be so quiet, yet he couldn't blame him. He supposed everything was stressful for him as well. As they drove down the street, stopping at the stoplight, Burns finally spoke.

"Smithers?" he uttered, "Do you think we could just... forget about earlier?"

"What?" said Smithers, it was more of statement than a question. He observed Burns through the rear-view mirror, the man had a look of worry as he sat in the back seat, fidgety and looking distractedly to the floor. Smithers felt as if Burns had suddenly ripped his heart out all over again.

"Clearly I wasn't in my right mind. You... understand don't you?" Burns continued. He looked up, catching Smithers gaze in the mirror. "Smithers?"

"Oh... sure. I-If that's what you wish." he replied, his voice catching in his throat as he tried to remain unemotional.

The traffic light suddenly turned green, Smithers stepped on the gas and that was the end of their conversation. So that was it? Was that really all Burns had to say about it? Burns had kissed him and he was supposed to just forget about it! It all seemed a little ridiculous, but he saw no other option available if that was the way Burns wanted it. Mr. Burns might want to just forget about it, but Smithers was certain that he never could.

"Oh! And don't forget to stop by Costingtons," Burns added stoically, "I have to pick up my tux."

- o - o - o -

Once they had made it to the department store, Smithers had quickly decided what he would wear. Being considerably more frugal with money than Burns, he opted for a simple, two-button gray blazer. Burns, on the other hand, went all out when it came to fashion and didn't mind standing out in the crowd. Smithers often wondered how he even considered himself the gay one since it was Burns that was the more fashion conscious of the two.

He sat down on one of the benches near the dressing rooms, listening as Burns argued with the sales clerk. After a while, Burns finally headed towards the dressing room with his clothes. Out of habit, Smithers stood and attempted to follow him, the door almost slamming on him if he hadn't caught it in time.

"Sir? Don't you need me in here... to help?" Smithers offered, locking the dressing room door behind him.

"I'm a grown man Smithers!" said Burns hastily, holding his hands up in front of himself defensively, "I don't need anyone to dress me!"

"But I always help! It's my job!"

"Ha! How convenient for you then! You just want to get me in here all alone so you can have your way with me again! Just like you did in the closet!" yelled Burns. He had backed away so far that he was now leaning flat against the wall.

"What! I didn't- y-you're the one that kissed me!" yelled Smithers in disbelief. Burns was actually trying to push the blame on him?

"Shh! Keep your voice down!" said Burns, his voice lowered just above a whisper. "You want the whole world to hear?"

Burns seem to relax a little, his back no longer against the wall. Perhaps blaming Smithers for kissing him lessened Burns' own guilt. Whatever it took for Burns to accept the situation was fine with him. Smithers reached for Burns' coat to help him get it off.

"Unhand me you!" said Burns, quickly slapping his hand away.

"I was only trying to help get your coat off!"

"Why?" asked Burns suspiciously. Smithers was beginning to get a little irritated. He didn't really feel like fighting with him over it. Considering all that had happened, of course Burns would be a little more prudish about Smithers seeing him in his underwear.

"Fine, go ahead an do it yourself. I'll be waiting outside." said Smithers. He then left and sat back on the bench nearby. After a while he heard what sounded like struggling coming from Burns' stall, as if he were struggling to change his clothes. He knew Burns all too well. He just knew that in a moment, Burns would give in and ask for help anyway, despite the brave front he put up earlier. It was only a matter of time. For once, Smithers refused to offer him any help. Just out of principle, he wanted to hear Burns ask for it first.

Burns continued to struggle. This time, the distinctive sound of material ripping could be heard along with Burns' sequential cursing.

"Smithers? Uh... Are you still out there?"

"Yes sir."

"Well what the hell are you doing out there?" asked Burns. "Get in here and help me get it on!"

"Hmm, I thought you'd never ask." Smithers replied, laughing to himself at the suggestiveness of Burns comment. To his amusement, such unintended humor was quite common for Burns.

Smithers entered the stall once again and it was a relief to see that Burns had ripped his own shirt and not the new tux. Burns had gotten his shoes off and his coat, but unbuttoning his shirt seemed to have posed a problem. Smithers was surprised Burns even had the strength for such an impressive rip along the side.

"Don't worry about it sir, it won't show under your coat. I can fix it once we get home." said Smithers as he inspected the torn shirt. It was interesting, how quickly they could fall back into normal conversation only moments after Burns had chased him out.

Smithers moved to unbutton Burns' shirt, his hands stopping hesitantly over the top button.

"Can I? You don't mind?" asked Smithers uncertainly. He swallowed as he tried to remain calm for Burns' sake. The fact that he was once again in such a closed in place with Mr. Burns was both exciting and nerve-racking.

Burns didn't answer, so Smithers proceeded to unbutton the shirt that had been giving Burns trouble earlier. He slipped it off, putting up a conscious effort not to stare, which was hard since Burns was practically half naked. He hung the white, ripped shirt onto one of the hooks on the wall. Burns watched Smithers hands warily the entire time.

"That's enough, I can get the rest." said Burns. Not wanting to cause Burns any further embarrassment, Smithers remained quiet and leaned against the wall as he tried not to watch him finish undressing. His job as Burns' assistant would definitely be a lot more challenging from now on if things continued on like this. After a minute Burns had on his white pants and shirt.

"Smithers? Could you... maybe help with the buttons again?" he asked.

"Oh, sure." For a moment, it seemed like things were like normal again. Smithers finished buttoning the shirt and helped Burns put on the coat. The tux really seemed to suit him well. The tailcoat and pants were white, with light blue waistcoat and tie. In Smithers' opinion, Burns always looked his best in a white tux. Burns seemed to think so too since his whole mood seemed to exude confidence whenever he was well dressed.

"So? How do I look?" asked Burns.

"Like a million bucks sir! No one will be able to take their eyes off of you."

"Even you?" Burns asked, looking up at him to meet his eyes. The question, as well as Burns steady gaze, caught him off guard.

"Well, I guess it... m-might be a little hard not to... ogle a little." Smithers admitted. The way Burns was looking at him, so vulnerable, yet so nervous, left him with a urge to grab him, to pull him close and finish what they had started in the closet. He suddenly found his heart racing. His hand twitched, urging him to throw caution to the wind and just go for it. Though, the moment ended all to soon as Burns turned his back to him, viewing himself in the mirror as if checking the fit of his new tux.

Smithers silently cursed to himself for being so slow to act. In all likelihood, Burns might have been waiting for him to kiss him. He really didn't know what his boss thought of him anymore or whether or not Burns really was attracted to him or just curious. Hopefully he'd still get another chance. It was hard to believe that after all these years, he would be so hesitant to make any moves on Burns when he had pictured it so clearly thousands of times before.

"Well, it fits." said Burns, looking at him briefly in the mirror.

"Yeah."

Burns remained with his back to Smithers, tugging at his coat. Smithers inched closer to him cautiously, hoping that the moment wasn't completely ruined. He reached out a hand to Burns, tracing his fingers slowly down his arm. He could feel Burns tense, yet he continued to straiten his coat distractedly. Smithers could see from the mirror that Burns' face was nearly as red as his own. He then trailed both hands around Burns' shoulders, then to his chest, arm's wrapped around him lightly. Burns remained still, Smithers could feel his heart racing just as his own was. He wondered what was going on in Burns' mind. Did he want this? He didn't seem to be trying to get a way, which was a good sign.

"Waylon, help me get these clothes off." said Burns suddenly.

"What?" asked Smithers. He wasn't serious was he?

"I can't stand around waiting all day you know," snapped Burns finally pulling out of the embrace, "now help me get them off so we can pay for everything."

"Oh." Smithers said. For a moment, feeling a little foolish at what he thought Burns had meant. It was then that another part of what Burns had said came to his attention. "Wait, you called me Waylon?" Burns seemed to tense at the question as he pulled off the white coat, hanging it on the hook.

"I did no such thing. Now help me with these clothes!" Burns yelled.

Normally, the only time he'd ever heard Burns use his first name was when he was really angry or disappointed in him. The way Burns had suddenly denied even saying it was intriguing, It seemed to suggest to Smithers that Burns might just be trying to hide something from him. It was strange that Burns even let him get away with holding him like that. He was sure that Burns would push him away and yell at him, yet he didn't. In fact, Burns seemed content to let it continue on. Smithers wondered if he had simply imagined it when Burns actually leaned into his embrace briefly.

o - o - o -

Once they reached Burns Manor, Smithers had quickly gotten started on dinner. Burns had been slightly irritable ever since they'd gotten home and had snapped at Smithers several times before he'd left that evening. Burns often had days were he took his frustration out on Smithers, then other days he treated him almost like an old friend. He was sure that nothing could ever be the same between them again. It was no longer a simple boss/assistant relationship with no strings attached. He feared that they would never be able to be alone in another closet or dressing room again without some sort of awkward situation happening.

He had turned to the six o'clock news for a while, but hadn't really payed attention to any of it as he thought about all that had happened between him and Smithers. He hadn't even had the time to deal with Lindsey, he had been so distracted. He did feel a little guilty for yelling at Smithers and sending him home, yet he knew that he wouldn't take it too seriously. Smithers had a thick skin from years of berating and belittling by Burns. He wouldn't let a few harsh words get him down. Still, his guilt had made him uncomfortable.

Burns walked along the hallways of the large house. It felt strangely empty that night. He wandered along, stopping in one of his storage rooms. He had remembered keeping many of the cards and letters that Smithers had sent him throughout the years. Many had also been thrown away without even being read. He wasn't really sure why he had kept some of them, but he found himself curious as to what might potentially be written in them. Perhaps something he might have missed earlier.

Burns pulled out an old shoebox containing some of those cards. After reading a few Christmas cards, none of which were very interesting, he came across an envelope that he had apparently torn open carelessly. The letter inside appeared to be tattered and was written on decorative stationary. By the look of it, it appeared to be a love letter. He began to read.

_Darling one,_

_Read my words and hear my heart speak of a love soft and undying. A love that will be with you always._

_Sincerely, your secret admirer._

"Secret admirer eh?" quipped Burns. The words sounded strangely familiar as he'd read them. He recalled Smithers reciting those very words once when Burns had asked him for advice on writing a love letter. When he asked how Smithers had thought up such eloquent words so quickly he had actually admitted that he had sent it to Burns! He of course, didn't think much of it at the time, chalking it up to Smithers' strange sense of humor.

Now, he wished he had read more of Smithers' letters instead of throwing them out or thinking they were a joke. Once he had gone through the whole box, he had found several other letters all signed by this same secret admirer. All in Smithers' neat, distinctive handwriting of course.

All of this reading had him in the mood for reading more of Smithers' novel. The story was interesting and at the same time, it also gave him a little more insight into how his assistant's mind worked. He had reached the final chapter and was disappointed to see that the story was left unfinished. Desperate to get his hands on the rest of it, Burns had snuck into Smithers' office while he was out and easily found a few more chapters. He was curious to see what had become of Baines and his apprentice vampire after the fight they had.

Mr. Burns retreated to his bedroom where he took the story out of his briefcase. He never knew when or if Smithers would return that night, as he often did, so he had to be careful not to get caught reading it. The last thing he wanted was for Smithers to think that he was actually interested in reading more of it.

- o - o - o -

_Baines had left the house that night after his fight with Wallace and took flight heading about mile north, to the city. He had to get away from every thing and clear his mind. He had been wandering over the city for hours, walking along the tops of the ancient roman buildings high above the city streets. The fierce lightening lit the skies above leaving scars in it's wake, the thunder threatening the very foundation he walked on with it's might, yet Baines remained unfazed. Any normal, rational human fears of lightening had left him decades ago._

_Last night with Wallace was something he hadn't planned, it was unexpectedly amazing. He'd already known of Wallace's crush on him for a while, but since it seemed like just a simple harmless crush, Baines just hadn't paid much attention to it and went on with life as usual. Just knowing that his very presence alone could have such an affect on someone was empowering. The innate thrill of being in complete control over another, the rapid pulse, fingers running across naked skin, straddling the helpless human victim beneath him, only this time, with no blood involved. It was all very exciting, but discovering that the whole reason he'd acted on such desires was because Wallace had changed the serum left him with a sick feeling of betrayal. Baines had trusted him and Wallace had broken that trust, endangering his own life. Now that his anger had diminished, he was left feeling lost and confused._

_There was the guilt, the feeling that he had stolen something from Wallace that wasn't his to take. Like he had stolen his innocence. He still thought of him as a boy, not really a man even though he was seventeen and nearly as tall as himself. __The fact that Wallace was so desperate for his attention that he'd actually endanger himself really had him worried. Wallace must have simply underestimated the danger he had put himself into._

_Then there was Loraine to consider! A woman that he'd fallen for and could perhaps marry someday if she were to accept his lifestyle. What would she think if she were to discover what Wallace really meant to him?_

_As he continued his aimless walk along the building tops, rain drenching him from head to toe, a thought came to mind. One that just might give him the answers he needed. Up ahead, there was a place hidden away near the edges of the city, a strange shop that most non-magic folk considered something of a novelty. Living there was a mysterious hermit that had been rumored to be over four hundred years old. His long life span seemed a mystery to most, but Baines knew better. The man's name was Lycius Zephrym, a talented practitioner of magic and noted oracle of the day known to most of the occult society._

_Vampirism was a rare condition amongst sorcerers in those days and and even rarer condition amongst regular humans. It was a relief to know that he had one of his own kind nearby to confide in. It would be awkward however, since Lycius had done little to keep his attraction to Baines a secret and had made it quite clear nearly forty years ago just what his intentions were. Baines had never considered men worth pursuing during his long life, but considering his new relationship with Wallace, it made him wonder what he could have been missing out on all those years. He wondered what he might have potentially had with Lycius had he taken him up on his offer. Then again, the past was the past and he had Wallace and Loraine now, he had no interest in adding yet another lover to the list._

_Finally the shop was in sight at the end of the street, almost hidden amongst the canopy of trees. He neared the fortuneteller's shop and leaped down from the building. As he entered the old weathered stone cabin, bells clanging against the door, announced his arrival. He was met by the familiar scent of burned sage and various other scents of which he couldn't decipher. The front room of the shop was filled with many things that regular people would buy like novelties, candy and things of that nature. It was the back rooms that held the things that magic-folk sought after. Though, Baines was uninterested in shopping and made his way past the shelves stocked with goods and knocked on the door at the back of the room._

_A little viewing slot mounted on the door slid open and Baines was met by a familiar pair of dark eyes peering out at him. Soon after, the door creaked open and out stepped the tall, regal vampire. Garbed in all black except for his vest which was of rich deep violet, his black, shoulder length hair, streaked with white. Lycius flipped back his black cape and bowed._

_Baines took a second to take in the man's eccentric appearance. It was refreshing to see someone so different from the mortals he passed by everyday on the street._

"_Ah Mortimer! It's been a while since last we met!" greeted Lycius in his deep monotone voice. Baines had always been a little too proud and full of himself to ever look up to anyone, but he had always held a certain admiration for the wise vampire from the moment they'd met._

"_I see that time has indeed been kind to you as always, still as sharp as a tack I'd wager?" asked Baines._

"_Yes, other than my fangs, I have been known for having fiercely sharp wit! I loose more friends that way every year!" Lycius joked sarcastically, his hand coming to rest briefly on Baines' shoulder. "All of them mortal of course."_

"_I see, so I take it that you are suggesting that it would be your wit that kills them quicker than your bite?" Baines laughed. It was an interesting combination, intelligence and a sense of humor. The man was just as much vain and full of himself as Baines, yet he held many centuries worth of wisdom that even Baines himself didn't possess. It was for that very reason, that he sought his help._

"_No matter," said Lycius. Turning his back to Baines, Lycius walked slowly to the far side of the room, hands clasped behind his back as continued to speak, "they always end up dead anyway. Thus, I fail to see the logic in befriending mortals." Lycius came to a stop, sitting down on the window sill, the arched, stained glass windowpane casting an unnatural, ethereal light upon him._

_A sick feeling ran through Baines at Lycius' comment, breaking their short-lived camaraderie. Wallace was mortal, so was Loraine. Lycius seemed to notice Baines' reaction and quickly recanted. "I suppose I should have been more careful with my choice of words. I had forgotten about Kenneth's unfortunate passing."_

_It surprised him that Lycius would even remember Kenneth and made him feel even worse that he hadn't thought of him in a long while. Kenneth had been like the son he'd never had, much like Wallace only his feelings for Kenneth were purely paternal in nature._

"_Mortimer, I am sorry. I should be more sensitive." said Lycius, averting eye contact briefly as he inspected his fingernails. His deep voice took on a more comforting tone. "I know you have a certain affinity for humankind that I could never understand. I don't even like most of my own kind for that matter." Lycius smirked. Baines was wary of the man's unwavering, calculated charm. His well rehearsed poise was executed in his every word and action._

"_It's nothing. It is all in the past." Baines stated dispassionately. He leaned against the doorway, some of his anxiety returning as Lycius watched him from across the room. It was the same dark, piercing stare from long ago, one of desire, almost predatory in it's intensity. The same man that he had refused so many times over the past forty years he had known him. Lycius stood, leisurely advancing towards Baines._

"_It is refreshing..." Lycius began, his words drawling slowly, almost hypnotizing. "to find a vampire that doesn't dwell on the past." He stopped inches from Baines. His breath caught in his throat as Lycius inched closer, stroking his cheek, his thumb skimming across Baines' lower lip. "To live with no regrets..." the raven-haired vampire uttered, closing his eyes, his lips lightly brushing against Baines'. "Tell me, Do you... have regrets?" he whispered._

_It felt so unnatural, having someone that rivaled his own level of dominance. He was accustomed to being the the one that took the initiative and felt a certain fear in losing that dominance. Lycius' arms snaked their way around his back. The heady scent of the vampire's cologne almost breaking any semblance of control he had. He then remembered Wallace, the reason he had come to Lycius for advice. Baines once again, pushed him away._

"_No, Lycius... I cannot."_

"_No? You still refuse me? Yet, now you hesitate. Never before have you let me linger so. Never have you let me kiss you."_

"_My life is complicated enough, I need no more. My design in coming here was not social, for I really must make haste." snapped Baines as he slicked his fingers through his short silver hair impatiently, still flustered. "I came merely seeking guidance."_

_Lycius seemed to take his words as a blow to his ego, looking to the floor in defeat._

"_You disappoint me. Alas I cannot refuse you my vast knowledge; to do so would be selfish." he said smugly._

"_Forgive me." said Baines. The dark-haired vampire raised a hand, stopping him._

"_Please, say no more. It is advice that you seek, am I right? Something weighs heavy on your conscience?"_

"_Well yes... but considering the nature of my problem, I think I must reconsider... "_

"_I wouldn't hear of it. I have cut my losses and moved on. Now, you must tell me what is troubling you so." said Lycius. He turned and walked towards the round, wooden table in the middle of the room, taking a seat. "That is, unless you'd rather continue on to the bedroom to finish what was started."_

"_Please..." said Baines impatiently._

"_Forgive me, please go on." said Lycius. Baines cautiously sat in the chair opposite him at the table._

"_I don't quite know where to start." he sighed "It's all so difficult to even speak of."_

"_Mortimer, who am I to judge? I am no priest or saint myself. He who cast the first stone..."_

"_I know... but even saying it aloud... it is unspeakable. What I have done is..." Baines looked away shamefully. How could he come out and tell him what had happened with Wallace? A boy that had been in his care since childhood. What would he think of him then? Baines had always looked up to Lycius and revered him as one of the greatest minds of the age. Those dark eyes now stared at him, waiting for him to continue. Lycius seemed to sense his hesitance and broke eye contact._

"_Maybe it would be best to take a look into your fortune?" he asked cautiously. "Divination is often very vague in what it reveals you know."_

"_Fine, divine me then." said Baines._

"_Divine you? I don't think I've ever heard it put quite like that before, but nonetheless..." Lycius placed on the table, a small, mysterious looking wooden box. He opened it and that's when Baines identified it to be a set of tarot cards. He was familiar with the game version of the cards and knew that they had also become a popular divination tool for seers. However, he was surprised that such a talented man as he would need such an aid._

"_Since when have you needed to use the tarot?" asked Baines. He had never used the tarot himself, believing it foolish to rely on mere cards for advice. Still, the mystery and allure of them had always held his interest._

"_It seems to help when a client is uncomfortable voicing their problems. The mysterious nature of the cards is distracting." he paused for dramatic affect, "So, let us begin." he hands the deck of cards to Baines. "Carefully shuffle the cards, feel their energy and your own connect while you visualize the problems facing you. It is this connection that with provide the answers you seek."_

_Baines does as he is told. He handed the deck back to Lycius who then took the cards and spread them face down onto the table before them and stirred them haphazardly in all directions leaving room in the middle of the table for the chosen cards to be displayed._

"_The first card to be chosen will represent the problem at hand and your state of mind."_

"_Fine." Baines reaches for a card but Lycius grabbed his wrist._

"_Before you decide, feel the cards. Let the energy of a certain card choose you as you visualize how you currently feel about your problem."_

"_Yes, I know how it is done." said Baines. He then lets his mind return to Wallace, about the betrayal of trust, his own guilt of giving in to his desires. He also thinks about Loraine and how this could potentially affect her. His hand stopped over a certain card that he felt compelled to choose. He takes it from the pile and looks to the other vampire for instruction._

"_Good, now flip it over."_

_He flipped the card face-up and saw that it was the hanged man card. Surely this reading was doomed from the start. The man on the card hung precariously by his feet, yet his face seemed peaceful, as if he accepts his own fate. The very first card drawn and already things were looking bad for him._

"_Ah, so it seems that a pivotal event in your destiny is occurring and you feel as if you are stuck, lost, like time has stopped and waiting for you to make a decision. Am I correct?"  
_

"_Undoubtedly, I could have told you as much." replied Baines sceptically._

"_Why then did you not?" he asked, seemingly pausing as he let his words sink in. "You see, the cards have the affect of making people reveal things they normally wouldn't. It's not magic in the least, only a connection to the seeker. As for the next card, this one will represent what thing or event has made you feel like the so called hanged man."_

_Baines once again, spread the cards around, letting his hand stop upon a card. He handed the card to Lycius; it was the page of wands. Baines didn't know much about the meaning, but he did notice that the young male on the card bared a striking resemblance to Wallace. It was a little disturbing and he wasn't quite as comfortable with this reading as he was in the beginning._

"_A young man in your life, fair haired. Wallace I presume?"_

"_Yes." answered Baines, shifting around in his chair uncomfortably._

"_So something happened with him. Something you feel shameful of. This time, Lycius chooses a card, barely even taking the time to feel the energy of the cards as he flipped it over. It was the five of wands. "Emotional turmoil... dishonor, worry, regret... needing to re-evaluate the relationship..." muttered Lycius in deep thought. "I must clarify..."_

_Lycius' talent in reading the cards was apparent as he quickly chose another card. Baines passively watched. The card was the card of lovers, yet it was placed upside down, thus it's meaning reversed. Baines, tensed. He suddenly found it hard to breathe._

"_The lovers... deception, disharmony... infidelity and indecisiveness..."_

"_I have said nothing! The cards... they cannot be trusted!" Baines defended._

"_Might I repeat, the cards hold no power! You have love for Wallace! You have laid with him; shared your bed! He was in your care since he was a child! And the age of this boy?" asked Lycius, his former poise and confidently spoken words, now wavering with jealously._

"_You actually care to know? He who does not judge others?" asked Baines. Lycius took a moment to gather himself. His facade of self control returning._

"_I am sorry, I let my own jealousy influence me. His age is irrelevant." Lycius responded, unable to meet Baines eyes._

"_I'll have you know that the boy is seventeen." added Baines._

"_You call him a boy, yet by his age, many are already married and starting their own lives. I see nothing wrong with such a relationship as long as he was unharmed and willing." said Lycius grudgingly. Baines knew his words were meant to be consoling, though, the way they'd come out sounded decidedly hostile._

"_But I wasn't willing! I couldn't control-" said Baines._

"_Couldn't control?"_

"_Bloodlust is a powerful affliction. I'm sure you've heard of the Sanguis Cupidas serum I had invented?" Baines paused, Lycius listening intently. Baines took a deep breath and continued. "Wallace changed the formula... He wanted my attention... I jumped on him, my vampire needs were overwhelming. I didn't bite him. Instead I... I found another way. Replacing one need for another just to spare his life." said Baines, hoping he wouldn't have to go into further detail._

"_I see... so you fulfilled this other need then." he asked. Baines remained silent leaning back in his chair. "So what is it that still bothers you?"_

"_Don't you see? Therein lies the problem!" yelled Baines. "I have another love! A lady named Loraine! I only made love with Wallace because I didn't have the serum!"_

"_So it was meaningless? You regret that it ever happened?" Lycius asked. Baines hesitated. When he thought about it, he really didn't regret it. In fact, he had the feeling he'd want Wallace all over again even with the serum, now that he knew how things could possibly be between them._

"_No, I don't regret it." He answered finally._

"_So you have two lovers then... I take it you would have no time for a third." said Lycius irritably._

"_Lycius, please!"_

"_Well, I foresee nothing but tragedy no matter what decision you make..." Lycius, began to draw more cards. Three of them. He laid them all face up on the table._

"_What does this mean?" asked Baines curiously._

"_Three possible choices and the outcome. Potentially, you could be happy with either Loraine or Wallace. The world card is Loraine, suggesting that she can give you family, stability that your life has never had. The Magician card suggests that Wallace could provide companionship, he makes you feel impulsive... playful, to see the world anew."_

"_An the third card would be you I assume?"_

_"You would like it to be me?" Lycius smirked. "It is an option is it not?"_

"_Not necessarily one I would consider, but an option nonetheless." said Baines._

"_The last card is that of the towers." Lycius, placed the card on the table, his whole demeanor taking on a more somber tone. "An ominous sign."_

"_So that means a relationship with you would be doomed to fail?" Baines joked._

"_No... this is serious Mortimer. The card does not represent me. It is the card that represents the final outcome of your choice. You will endure a great loss, a tragedy will befall you... All based on the final choice you make."_

"_Grief? A violent loss?" Baines sat up straighter in his chair, Lycius' grave words catching his attention. "Are you saying that someone is to die? Surely you don't see all of that in a meer card!" Lycius' silence irritated him even more. "Answer me!" he demanded harshly._

"_The cards hold no power Mortimer!" yelled Lycius, "It is all me! I am but a catalyst through which this vision is received! There is no need to crucify the messenger!"_

"_So it is true then. You would not lie to me." said Baines, his tone softened._

"_One... will meet an untimely mortal end..." Lycius sighed, "The choice you make will decide... I'm sorry, I can say no more..."_

_After a long silence, Baines turned to leave, Lycius grabbed his arm._

"_Please Mortimer, before you do anything you'll regret! Please heed my warning, don't let this become another self-fulfilling prophecy. Like the old tale of Macbeth." he warned._

_That was the end of their tarot reading and from it, Baines had come away with even more questions than answers. He felt that Lycius was trustworthy, but he did have his doubts about the man. Lycius had never steered him wrong before, but the very concept of either Loraine or Wallace dying was unimaginable! The premonition did not say who was to die. Baines was virtually immortal, so he knew it was unlikely to be himself._

_It was all just too insane! Could he really believe the vampire's prophecy? Maybe he was only telling him all of this out of jealousy, revenge even. After all, he had been obsessed with Baines for almost forty years. Baines wondered if Lycius might be capable of pulling such a stunt just to get back at him for all the years of rejection he had put him through. Lycius might be cunning and arrogant at times, but Baines found it hard to believe that he would ever make up such a lie. He almost wished it were all a big lie, but some foreboding feeling led him to believe that Lycius' words might have some truth to them._

_He chose to walk home that day instead of flying. Walking took much longer than the normal way of travel, but it was a calming change of pace. The storm continued to rage over the city of Bath as Baines walked down the nearly empty streets. Heels clacking against stone, his black cape once again became drenched with rain. He had a lot of thinking to do and almost feared coming home and having to face Wallace again. He was no longer angry, feeling more sympathetic towards his young apprentice the more he thought about it. He didn't like the thought of leaving Wallace all alone in the manor and knew that he had to return home soon._

_He continued on his way, Lycius' prophetic words never far from his thoughts. As he walked, he was met by a familiar scent. It was the unmistakably familiar scent of Wallace, meaning the boy was nearby! Baines quickened his pace. He knew that Wallace was deathly afraid of thunder and lightening and knew that the young man must have been out searching for him. The thought causing his heart to skip a beat. The further he walked, the stronger the scent became until at last he was in sight._

_He watched for a moment as Wallace walked, his arms crossed, his hair and clothes dripping wet. He watched as he winced at every lightening strike, his fear very apparent. The boy occasionally looked up at the buildings he passed as if expecting to see Baines standing atop one of them. Baines finally walked towards him. He really wanted to get Wallace out of the storm since such weather was no place for a mortal to be._

* * *

**A.N. - ****This is definitely the longest chapter yet at over 7000 words. Hope I didn't strain anyone's eyes! One interesting thing about the chapter was the tarot reading. I actually got out my deck and drew cards for the story. When the hanged-man was the first card chosen... it seemed sort of creepy. All of the cards seemed to match the questions I asked... Ah, that's why I love tarot. xD**

**Lots of foreshadowing for you guys to analyze - Ah... whatever... I'm tired, I'm going to bed now. :P**


	18. Careful with the Fangs

**A.N. - Another steamy chapter ahead, so please keep in mind that this story is rated M now... so just skip this chapter, better yet, just skip the whole rest of the story if male/male sexual content isn't your cup 'o tea. Lol, I've seen much more graphic fics on here, but I just felt the need to keep people informed. :P**

**Chapter Eighteen: Careful with the Fangs**

_Wallace was tired and soaked with rain as he searched the streets for any sign of Baines' whereabouts. He was just about ready to give up. The lightening flashed yet again jarring his already burned out nerves. Wallace crossed his arms, bracing himself for the next strike, steeling his resolve to continue on._

_Soon, he spotted a dark figure up ahead. He stopped dead in his tracks, watching as the cloaked stranger advanced towards him. It had to be Baines, there weren't many so foolish as to be out in such severe weather. Baines came to a stop in front of him. What was there to say to someone after tricking them into sex? He'd never really expected it to end up being something sexual, but it had and now he had to deal with the uncomfortable aftermath of it._

_Baines closed the distance between them before either had the chance to speak and wrapped his arms around him. Wallace was stunned; he couldn't really remember the last time Baines had actually hugged him, though he knew it was long ago when he was still a child. Baines seemed as if he didn't want to let go and held him so tightly as if he would never get the chance again._

"_Mortimer...you act as if I'm dying." said Wallace quietly. The comment had been intended as a joke, but it seemed to have bothered Baines as he tightened his hold on Wallace._

"_I won't let you." he whispered. The sudden roar of thunder interrupted their short lived reunion and Baines finally released him._

"_We should leave." he said, brushing the wet fringe of hair from Wallace' forehead._

"_That would be a good idea." answered Wallace._

_The storm had begun to die down much to Wallace's relief. They'd decided to walk home that night instead of fly and even though the lightening was no longer quite as threatening, Wallace still remained close to Baines the whole way._

_It took them somewhere around a half hour to get back to the village. Wallace wasn't really sure if they were on good terms yet and was afraid that Baines might still be angry at him. He was just glad that they didn't talk much on the trek home. Just walking with Baines was enough._

_o - o - o -_

_Baines sat on the sofa, watching as Wallace sat in the floor in front of the fireplace, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to dry himself quicker. Baines had forgotten just how quickly a mortal could catch a cold and Lycius' prediction made him even more aware of how fragile life really was. Even sitting there in front of the fire, Wallace couldn't stop shivering and it had him concerned. Perhaps Baines' decision to go out to the city would be the cause of Wallace's death. Wallace had gone out there to find him, exposing himself to the elements and all sorts of dangers. The prediction said that Baines' decision would lead to the death of a loved one. That was the part that left him feeling paranoid about every decision he made._

_Then again, Loraine was involved as well. He hadn't known her as long as he had Wallace, but she seemed to be the one thing that his life needed. He had companionship with Wallace, but he really wanted something more. He wanted a mate and Loraine seemed to fit the bill. Could Wallace really be everything he needed all along? He hated to think that maybe Loraine was something of a stand in lover all this time and Wallace was the one he was really meant to be with. For the last few months, she had been hinting around about marriage and Baines was hesitant. She didn't know he was a vampire yet, even his fangs didn't give it away. She wasn't one to believe in the folklore of vampires and even when confronted with one she wouldn't believe it. What would she do when she discovered the truth?_

_Wallace had never gotten along with her either, mostly because of his jealousy. Loraine seemed jealous of him as well and whenever the two got together you could feel the tension in the air. They never had a kind word towards each other and Baines was sort of surprised that Wallace could be so rude to anyone; he was normally such a polite, soft spoken individual. He used to think that Wallace and Loraine's bickering was somewhat entertaining, now it only complicated things even more._

_He continued to watch Wallace drying himself by the fire. He would have dried much quicker if he had changed out of his wet clothes like Baines had earlier. Wallace stood and shook his hair which was now messier than ever as it had dried and spiked in every direction._

"_Are you still cold?" asked Baines. Wallace looked over to him and shook his head._

"_Are you quite certain? You must have been in the rain for hours."_

"_I'm fine." said Wallace._

"_Well... in that case, I suppose you do not need me to warm you up then." said Baines, waiting for his words to sink in. He didn't really like taking such a direct approach, since this was all so new to the both of them, but he needed Wallace and he was tired of playing games and pretending that he didn't._

"_Oh! I...er... I guess I..." Wallace stammered._

"_Wallace, get over here."_

_Wallace approached cautiously, sitting down next to him on the sofa. He looked so flustered and uncomfortable that Baines wondered just how they'd ever gotten anywhere near making love last night. He remembered that they had been playing around and reenacting some story. Maybe Wallace needed a distraction. Maybe another story could lead to more of the same roughhousing like the night before._

"_Did I ever make mention of the time that I got into a duel with Louis XIV?" Baines stated mischievously, lacing his fingers together and waiting for Wallace's response._

"_What? You did no such thing!" cried Wallace incredulously. "He died in 1717, the very year you were born!" Wallace stated._

"_Such a know-it-all." Baines muttered, "I see that you cannot be so easily fooled as of late. Such fabricated stories would have fascinated you years ago." It seemed a reminder of just how mature Wallace had become. He had always acted much more mature than his age, but long gone were the days when he could weave fascinatingly unbelievable tales that would have Wallace sitting on the edge of his seat. He would definitely have to find some other way of entertaining the young man now. Wallace finally relaxed, leaning comfortably against the back of the sofa._

"_Just how would this supposed duel play out then?" Wallace asked, his childlike curiosity still as alive as ever. "Were I Louis XIV, would you have thrown me to the ground, declaring victory? Pinning me beneath you?" It seemed that Wallace was finally catching onto the game they were playing. Baines reached for Wallace's still damp hair, running his fingers through it and ruffling it up like he always did._

"_Were you Louis the XIV? ...No." said Baines playfully. "You, however...you are no king of France." Baines leaned closer to Wallace as if to kiss him. Wallace gasped and backed away._

"_Mr. Baines!" Wallace stammered. "The serum - You still have not taken it!"_

"_- And this concerns you?"_

_The serum was the last thing on his mind at the moment. His mind was full of lustful images and he wanted nothing more than to feel that same spark they'd started earlier. Everything about Wallace was addicting to him. He needed to taste him, whether it be his blood or his lips, he didn't really care. He leaned closer once again, this time Wallace didn't try to escape. Finally reaching his lips, he kissed him briefly, pulling away far too soon as indicated by Wallace's sigh of disappointment. Baines then firmly grasped one arm around him, pulling the young male onto his lap._

_Wallace shifted himself so that he was facing Baines, his legs bent at the knees and straddled around the vampire. Baines could see the apprehension in those human eyes. He could also see the same look of longing that mirrored his own as he pulled Wallace closer, his hands grasping onto the young man's hips. He could feel Wallace leaning into him too. The feel of his crotch pressing against his own through the layers of clothing between them threw out any thought or reason he had. All he wanted was more of this friction between them._

_Baines moved his hands to the boy's rear, motioning for Wallace to move against him until they both found a certain uniformity in their movements. He felt a low groan ripping from his throat as a wave of pleasure coursed up his spine from the contact, quickly followed by Wallace's own lustful, inarticulate words._

"_Oh god!" cried Wallace._

_They began to develop a slow, irregular rhythm. Ragged movements that felt as if he could be consumed by his own feverish passion. However, he wanted more. He needed more of the dirty-blond than just a series of aimless motions. He wanted to unwrap Wallace from the confines of clothing like one would unwrap a Christmas gift, ripping through the paper and ribbons and claiming what he now saw as his. Wallace was his and he intended to stake his claim once again. He undid the two buttons of Wallace's white linen shirt, slipping it up over his head and throwing to the floor and once again exposing the smooth, youthful skin that looked so inviting. So appetizing that he felt the instinct to sink his fangs into him. Pushing aside those instincts, he ran his fingers lightly across the boy's chest and down further skimming over the slightly toned abdomen._

_Wallace stopped him, pushing his hand away politely as he reached to unfasten Baines' black trousers. He then scooted down lower, down into the floor on his knees. Baines stared down at the messy-haired youth, taken aback by the sudden boldness he displayed. Soon he found himself biting his lip painfully as Wallace had reached down, his mouth lingering over Baines' manhood. The man's fingers dug into the sofa as Wallace took all of him in, gagging slightly with his over zealous enthusiasm. Baines again ran his finger's through Wallace's hair, as the teen discovered the limits as to just how much he could take in._

_It was apparent by his clumsiness that he had no experience yet Baines could say the same for himself. Other than last night, he had never been with another male either and he wasn't about to complain. Not when everything felt so right. Wallace ran his tongue along the underside causing Baines to tighten his grip on Wallace's hair. He continued on for a while like this until time seemingly came to a halt as pleasure ripped through Baines sooner than expected. Wallace quickly moved his mouth away and finished him off with his hand, the stream of hot, white liquid slashing him across the chest._

_Wallace looked on, awestruck as Baines lay spent on the sofa overcome by the sheer intensity of it all. The feeling was even more overwhelming than the first time he had tasted Wallace's blood years ago and he found himself unable to move. The thought finally occurred to him as he came back to his senses, that Wallace must still be in a state of arousal._

_As he moved to reach for him, he could see that Wallace was already taking care of it himself. Sitting on his knees on the floor, trousers unfastened and his skin flushed, his slim hands cleaning the mess that Baines had made across his bare chest and coating himself with the sticky substance. Baines had never seen anything so sensual, so erotic that he had to stop himself from reaching over to help. He remained still, watching as Wallace brought himself to the edge, his rhythmic hand movements wavering raggedly. Baines finally gave in at the last minute and reached out a hand to finish him off like Wallace had done for him earlier. It didn't take long for Wallace to succumb to Baines' touch and once he felt the boy had had enough, Baines grabbed onto him, pulling Wallace on top of him on the sofa, both exhausted. Wallace remained in is arms as his breathing finally slowed._

"_I'm beginning to see why you would want to keep me human." joked Wallace. "I would not... be able to do that as a vampire would I?"_

"_Only if you're careful with the fangs. As I recall, you didn't seem to be in any sort of pain last night."_

_Wallace climbed out of Baines' lap and reclined against the opposite side of the sofa, one leg hanging tiredly off the edge._

- o - o - o -

Mr. Burns had never read such a smutty story in his entire life; however, it wasn't like he'd read many novels of that genre either, finding it to be the most intriguing and provocative piece of work that he'd ever seen. It almost made such a relationship seem like the most natural thing in the world. It was also disturbing that he wasn't repulsed in the slightest by what he had read. He wasn't supposed to think that way. He was like Baines, he had simply never been interested in men until now. Until now? That was the part that scared him the most. He didn't know why he was so scared to admit, even to himself, that some part of him might actually want the same thing that Baines and Wallace had.

He wondered, maybe he shouldn't let the story influence him so. If he had never read it, he would have most likely never even had such unwanted feelings awakened. The hardest part of it all was actually allowing himself to give in to it. He felt as if he had to play along with the charade that he was the cold, uncaring boss man and Smithers was simply the dutiful assistant. It was as if they were playing these parts and never could they stray from them or else all hell would break loose. It sounded ridiculous, yet he was afraid to break the cycle, afraid to break away from the role that he had played his entire life.

Back when he was in the dressing room with Smithers, he felt some of his resolve breaking, the control he normally kept on himself beginning to crumble. He wanted to kiss Smithers again and actually waited for Smithers to initiate it! When Smithers hesitated he let his nerves get the best of him and chickened out. He knew Smithers must have sensed something considering the way he wrapped his arms around Burns moments later.

Burns laid the rest of the story safely back into his briefcase. Tomorrow night was the big banquet and he had the whole day off tomorrow. He had plenty of time to read the rest of it then.

- o - o - o -

Smithers had left Burns' house that night feeling a little down in the dumps. Burns was so unreadable lately. One minute he went from kissing him, the next he was all cold and untouchable like always. He knew he shouldn't let it bother him though. Nothing could ruin the natural high he felt from that kiss. It was undoubtedly one of the best moments of his entire life and nothing could take that away from him. Burns was neither drunk, nor in need of medical assistance when it occurred and he felt like all the years he had waited were actually worth it. He had at least made a little progress with Burns and even if his boss was a little cranky afterwords, it was understandable. He was probably just nervous and didn't know how to deal with the possibility of giving in to such feelings.

Smithers had gone out to dinner with a couple of friends that night and had talked to Stella on the phone later on, explaining just what had happened with Burns and the story he'd written. Mr. Burns pretty much knew all about Smithers love for him now anyway so it didn't really matter to him anymore to keep his secret so closely guarded. That didn't mean he wanted the whole world to know his business, but since Stella knew most of it anyway, he saw no harm in explaining more of it to her. He could always use another person to go to when he needed advice. She'd even managed to ferret out a few details of their kiss which he was rather reluctant to reveal. Of course he could hear a little squeal of excitement over the phone and had rolled his eyes when she had jokingly taken credit for urging Burns on beforehand.

Once he had told her about the story he had written, she insisted on reading it. Smithers was hesitant in letting anyone else know about his story. He wasn't really ready for such scrutiny of something he'd kept so private for the past year. He gave in however, telling Stella that she could read it just as soon as he could get around to printing a copy, reminding her that it was still unedited and unfinished.

After he had finished everything he had planned for the evening, he drove over to Burns' house to check on him for the night. He couldn't imagine going even one night without checking on Burns and making sure he gotten to sleep comfortably.

He quietly made his way up to Burns room, finding the man already asleep lying on his back, his slow shallow breathing indicating he was sleeping soundly. For some reason, Smithers felt compelled to do something out of the ordinary. He leaned down to Burns, briefly pressing his lips to his forehead, then daring to venture lower, to kiss his lips once again briefly. He knew it was a huge risk; Burns could have awoken at any moment, though he remained asleep. Burns turned over to his side and clutched onto his sheets tightly, a slight smile creeping onto his face. Smithers wondered just what he was dreaming about that could make him sleep so contently. What ever it was, it seemed like the kind of dream he hoped he'd have that night once he returned to his lonely little apartment.

* * *

**A.N. - For anyone interested, the village of Claverton was the inspiration for Baines home village. I believe it's about 2 miles east of Bath and it's very small but very mysterious and historic. I fell in love with the place upon getting a better view of it on Google Earth. Something about the place just seems to sort of grab you. It is plain and ordinary yet hauntingly beautiful at the same time. I had to squeeze in a little more of the vampire story because there is a part that Burns just has to read before banquet night... It'll make sense soon.**

**Keep a look out for chapter nineteen! It's going to be fun to write ;) Mostly it's about what goes on as Smithers gets ready for the banquet... I can't say anymore. xD**

**I know it seems like Baines and Wallace are getting the most action, but... The fic still isn't over yet... There's still more Burns/Smithers ahead so just stay with it! Burns is just a little too stubborn... it takes him a while you know.**


	19. Selective Memory

**Chapter Nineteen: Selective Memory**

_He could feel someone's touch, trembling fingers dragging lightly across bare skin. Roaming along his side and across his belly to where all he knew was this touch and the uniquely familiar scent that one could describe as a mixture of an autumn rain-shower and spearmint. All that existed in that moment were himself and the lingering affects of this mysterious stranger's caress. A stranger that felt remarkably familiar somehow as they curled up beneath the veil of darkness, both breathless and exhausted._

_A satiated sigh could be heard from beside him, a decidedly male voice that confirmed his own suspicions as he suddenly became aware of the strangeness of the situation. There he was, laying next to some phantom lover that he only now noticed to be a male, one that he had just been making love to for who knows how long. The sudden realization struck him as odd that he hadn't really thought much of the strange predicament that he was in, however, who was he to question it? Especially since he could feel the unknown male now taking the initiative once again, positioning himself so that his body aligned against this own. The urge to run his fingers through the strangers' hair became irresistible as he allowed himself to forget the perplexing circumstances that had brought them both there and simply feel._

- o - o - o -

Burns woke up that Saturday morning just as the sun rose, a layer of sweat covering him as he recalled the crazy dream he'd just had. Was it really all just a dream? Everything had seemed so real that he had to sit next to the bed for the next few minutes as his rational mind slowly overcame his nonsensical, subconscious beliefs. He'd actually woken up before Smithers had even arrived to make breakfast which gave him enough time to take a quick bath. He certainly felt as if he needed one.

He entered the bathroom, reaching the claw-foot tub and kicked off his bedroom slippers, bare feet meeting the cold, checkerboard-tiled floor. It had been a while since he'd drawn his own bath and had a little trouble turning on the hot water since the knobs were a little hard to turn. Once he had undressed and had the tub filled, he stepped in, the stinging water enveloping him.

Sitting there in the water, his thoughts finally becoming clearer, he came to the conclusion that this dream shouldn't be taken too seriously. The only reason it had even occurred in the first place was because of what he'd read last night. The story was simply fresh in his mind as he fell asleep; it was only natural that such a dream would be the result. However, just forgetting about it would be easier said than done.

It was then that he began to suspect that the dream might not have been just a vicarious trip through some fictional character. The thought that he might possibly have been dreaming of Smithers hit a little too close to home and he refused to dwell on that possibility for too long.

He relaxed against the tub, allowing all thoughts to be dissolved away as he sank lower, the water still stinging as it met his shoulders. Before long, movement could be heard from the next room, most likely Smithers. If he weren't so relaxed, Burns might have considered quickly jumping out of the tub and wrapping himself in a towel. He actually momentarily considered it, however he remained still. He knew Smithers would be searching all over the house for him, but after such a stressful week, he felt content to simply continue soaking in the water and and enjoy the few moments of privacy he had left before Smithers found him.

He waited a couple of minutes, almost falling asleep until the bathroom door sprang open, jarring him.

"There you are sir!" said Smithers from the doorway. "I've been looking everywhere! What are you doing up so early?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business!" Burns snapped irritably as he sat up. Looking over to the doorway, he noted just how casual his assistant was dressed that morning with his gray argyle vest and green shirt. Being around someone for so many years, one tends to notice such a minute change no matter how insignificant it seemed.

"Did he actually go out and buy new clothes just to impress me?" thought Burns.

It amused him that Smithers actually seemed to think that he would be attracted to him just because his clothing seemed to accentuate him very well; the way he left the top button of his shirt undone, forgoing the tie altogether. Normally the kind of person that attracted Burns was the kind that wore skirts and heels; however, if Burns were one to view men as potentially attractive, Smithers would definitely be on his list.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" asked Smithers finally, snapping Burns from his daze. "You could have slipped in the tub and gotten hurt!" Burns simply rubbed his forehead as Smithers continued on with his tirade. "Good thing that I got here when I did! You almost fell asleep in there! You could have drowned!"

"Smithers, don't you think you're over reacting just a little?"

"Sorry sir. I'll try to act less concerned from now on."

"What?" asked Burns incredulously.

"Never mind." said Smithers, cautiously approaching the tub. "I-I suppose I could... help you out there if you need... uh... some help."

"I'll be fine. Just run along now Smithers!" said Burns urgently, making little shooing motions with his hands, "Why don't you get started on those bacon and eggs you're so good at making?"

"Wait, why don't you at least let me scrub your back first?" Smithers knelt down and reached for the washcloth that hung at the foot of the bathtub. Burns felt the inexplicable need to defensively draw his knees up closer to himself.

"I know it might be kind of awkward and all, considering what happened-" said Smithers, attempting to scrub Burns' back with the cloth like he always had. Burns flinched away from the touch, pushing Smithers' hand away before it even reached him.

"Yes... just forget all of that would you?" said Burns. "I don't need to be reminded of it constantly you know!"

"But I just mentioned it once, unless... you mean that you've been thinking of it constantly..." said Smithers. The truth of such an insinuation only made Burns even more uncomfortable. Burns averted his gaze to the water shamefully, annoyed at Smithers' ever prevalent perceptiveness.

"Ha... Don't flatter yourself. You see how something like that just complicates things! Maybe you should think before you go around kissing people against their will!" Burns yelled, gripping the sides of the tub, all the while trying his best to avoid the look he just knew Smithers would be sending his way.

"Sir, I believe you have selective memory. As I recall, you were the one that-"

"I don't need a replay of it Smithers! I know what happened!" Burns yelled.

"Of course sir." Smithers quickly apologized and attempted once again to scrub Burns' back with the cloth. Even now, it surprised Burns just how agreeable Smithers could be even in the face of Burns' obvious, as he put it, 'selective memory'.

Burns remained still, allowing the action. Smithers smoothed the washcloth slowly over his shoulders and along his back, all the while, Burns had to fight off the urge to push him away. He had to remind himself that there was no inherent meaning to the action other than his assistant reaching a spot on his back that he had difficulty reaching himself. His back hadn't been properly scrubbed all week. Of course, he knew that Smithers must be getting some voyeuristic entertainment out of it, but he had to admit that his assistant was good at his job.

"That's enough Smithers." said Burns, his sudden words causing Smithers to fumble with the bar of soap, dropping it into the water.

They both paused awkwardly. Neither making a motion to retrieve it. Logically, Burns could have just gotten the soap himself, but his hesitation must have seemed like an invitation as his assistant slowly delved his hand into the water, brushing against Burns' leg and startling him back to reality.

"Smithers, What the hell is wrong with you?" Burns splashed the water in Smithers' direction drenching him from head to toe.

"I'm s-sorry sir!" Smithers quickly stood, his hands raised in front of him as if surrendering to the cops.

"Just forget it and go get breakfast started." said Burns.

"Sure thing sir." Smithers was still soaked, his hair matted down with water and soap suds. He was pretty much a pitiful sight to behold, yet he continued on to the kitchen without even drying himself. Burns wondered just how many times Smithers had gone on with business as usual, neglecting his own needs in favor of Burns'. He also wondered why he even bothered to give it much thought.

Burns sighed with relief. Now that Smithers was out of the room, it felt as if all of the tension had left with him. It was the kind of tension he just knew would return whenever they were in the same room and it only seemed to intensify the more time they spent together. With the way his assistant was acting, he knew that he could feel it too.

- o - o - o -

After a while, Smithers managed to cook up an impressive breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs and freshly squeezed orange juice. He would have cooked more if Burns hadn't hurried him along from the other room. For some reason, Mr. Burns seemed rather eager to get breakfast over with that morning and Smithers had a pretty good idea why. He had the feeling that Burns didn't want to be around him after the strange day they'd had yesterday. Life with Burns would certainly be a lot different from now on, yet he was thankful that he hadn't been fired. Burns seemed to almost grudgingly accept the situation for what it was and even though he looked to be annoyed by it all, that didn't change the fact that Burns had kissed him! Yesterday he could count three times that his boss looked like he wanted to kiss him, one of those occasions he actually had. If he were lucky and played his cards right, it would be only a matter of time before something else happened.

"I don't have all day! Hurry up!" called Burns' voice from the dining room.

Smithers quickly grabbed a bite of his own breakfast before picking up Burns' plate and taking it to him. Mr. Burns was busy reading the morning paper, holding it up in front of himself as Smithers sat the plate down in front of him.

He stood nearby waiting for Burns' approval, yet not really expecting any sort of gratitude or thank you in return. Over the years, he knew if he did everything perfect, exactly the way Burns wanted it, that the old man would always keep him around. He knew Burns could never find another assistant like himself.

Burns took a bite of bacon, continuing to read the paper as Smithers left to clean the mess he had left in the kitchen. He knew as soon as all of the dishes were done that there would be nothing left to do around the house until late in the evening. He wasn't ready to leave yet, then again, he would stay forever if Burns would let him. Sometimes, whenever Burns became bored, he and Smithers would spend entire evenings playing cards or chess or simply watching TV. Given all of the emotionally charged discord that existed between them, he doubted that Burns would want him around any longer than necessary.

When he returned to the dining room, he leaned down to grab Burns' empty plate. Burns sat the news paper down onto the table; Smithers could feel his boss's eyes, curiously watching his every move as he gathered the dishes. Being under such unexpected scrutiny was unnerving as he placed the empty glass onto the plate.

"Smithers."

Burns' voice had caught him off guard causing him to fumble with the stack of dishes, almost dropping them.

"Smithers, get over here a minute."

"What?" Smithers squeaked nervously as he approached Burns. Strangely enough, Burns leaned near him. What was he doing? Was he sniffing him?

"That scent... what is that you're wearing?" asked Burns. "It smells almost like..."

"Oh! Yeah, it's probably the conditioner I use." answered Smithers, relieved at the simplicity of the question. "It's called autumn rain actually. Doesn't seem to do much good though, my hair is still uncontrollable. Why do you ask?"

Burns suddenly seemed lost in thought, as if something he'd said had bothered him.

"Mr. Burns?"

Burns stood up from his seat, setting his napkin down on the table and turned his back, walking away a couple of steps.

"You can leave now Smithers. I think I can manage on my own for the rest of the day."

"What do you mean? Did I say something wrong?" asked Smithers. Burns wouldn't normally dismiss him for the whole day unless either of them had plans. Smithers walked towards Burns and stood in front of him. "Don't you need me to come back to fix lunch?" he asked, resting a hand on Burns shoulder. He fully expected Burns to push him away again, but he didn't. However, Burns seemed notably distracted by the contact as he spoke.

"If I get hungry, I-I can just... heat something in the dielectric heating apparatus." Burns stammered.

"Huh?"

"You know, the little oven...thingy with all the buttons? You know, the dielectric-"

"Oh, the microwave. Sir, I'm sure I could just come back, It's really no trouble."

"No, I insist. I think maybe we should have some time apart. I think you're becoming... a little too attached to me." Burns finally pushed Smithers' hand from his shoulder and took a few steps back warily. Smithers couldn't believe what he was hearing! He knew he shouldn't say anything, but something had to be said. They couldn't go on like this, dancing around the issue forever.

"Forgive me sir, but I've already been attached to you practically my entire life! If anything, I'd say that maybe you're the one who's becoming a little too attached lately and it scares the hell out of you!" said Smithers, his voice raised with the emotion of actually speaking aloud something that he knew Burns was trying to avoid.

"How could you even insinuate such a thing?" yelled Burns, "I've never shown even the slightest interest in you before, and that time in the closet doesn't count!"

"Why? Don't tell me... it was just a sign of respect? Trust me, that excuse never works."

"I'm not one of those kind that goes around cavorting with men, so don't go accusing me of such deviancy!" said Burns, crossing his arms defiantly.

"News flash Monty! It's the new millennium now and these days they call it being gay! Besides, you have nothing to worry about, you're probably just bi!"

"I'm what?"

"Bisexual! If you don't know what it means, just look it up!" said Smithers heatedly. He then stalked off towards the kitchen door.

"And don't even think of touching the dielectric heating apparatus! You'd probably just blow it up!" Smithers quickly added, standing in the doorway. "Now, I'm going to go in there and fix you a sandwich for later whether you like it or not!" Smithers left the dining room, slamming the door behind him.

- o - o - o -

He had to admit, he was actually sort of impressed by Smithers' assertiveness even if it did bring up such an uncomfortable subject. So Smithers could sense it? Did he actually sense that Burns might feel something for him? He wondered just what gave it away when his own potential romantic feelings weren't all that obvious even to himself.

No matter how much he hated to acknowledge it, the dream he'd had sort of cemented it all for him. He knew the scent of his lover in the dream was familiar from somewhere. It was a smell that was uniquely Smithers, one that he had unknowingly become familiar with throughout the years. So now that he could actually admit that he was attracted to Smithers, the question was whether or not he would be willing to do anything about it.

Burns walked down the halls towards his room. One thing that Smithers said had continually bugged him ever since he'd left. It was the whole bisexual comment that had really thrown him for a loop. Just what had he meant by it? Burns had a vague idea of what the word meant and picked up a dictionary from the bookshelf in his room for confirmation. Smithers had told him to look it up after all. He opened the thick book, quickly flipping to the B's and it didn't take long before he found the word he was looking for.

"Bisexual, ah ha! Here it is." Burns read. "The condition of possessing both male and female reproductive organs. See hermaphrodite." he looks down to his crotch area, wondering why Smithers would make such an outlandish claim. It all started to make sense though, when he read the secondary meaning of the word.

"The tendency to direct sexual desire to individuals of both sexes."

He'd never really thought much about the possibility of it. Then again, he never thought much when it came to such things. Everything seemed simpler when he just went out with a woman, he didn't really have to think of things such as sexual preference before. Just reading the definition of the word sort of cleared up some of the confusion he felt on the subject, but he wasn't really sure if the term applied to himself or not. Did it still count if Smithers were the only male he wanted and the rest of the time he wanted women? Unfortunately, the book said nothing more on the matter.

* * *

**A.N. - Wow, Smithers seemed to have grown some real cojones, standing up to Burns like that! Even I didn't expect that part and I'm the writer. -And the thought of Burns having to look up bisexual… xD lol!**

**I'll admit, argyle vests always seemed a little nerdy, but if a guy can actually pull off the look then more power too 'em! ;) Besides, Smithers can be kind of nerdy which isn't all that bad these days.**

**I've started back on my artwork since getting the new laptop up and running so hopefully I'll be able to post something on deviant soon. I've got lots of ideas. I've even gotten an idea for a Bob/Bart fic since they seem to have lots of fans. Might be a while before I can get started on it though.**

**Next up: Burns reads a shocking chapter of Smithers' novel. It's a _real_ cliff hanger! Later, when Smithers shows up at Stella's apartment to take her to the banquet, she has a surprise waiting for him. Don't miss it! I sure hope I don't!**


	20. The Naked Truth

**Warnings: sex, slight blood.**

**Chapter Twenty: The Naked Truth**

_So close, yet so far away._

Words that had essentially grown to define Burns' and Smithers' relationship. Once, there was a time when Burns was easy to read. Smithers often instinctively knew what he was thinking, but now he seemed an enigma with all of the mixed messages he'd been sending. One minute Burns was so vulnerable, so passionate. The next he's back to the same cold, detachment he'd always shown.

Smithers had left that morning with a strange sense of empowerment; something he rarely felt when leaving Burns' place. He had said exactly what he'd felt without reservation. No skirting around the issue, no filtering his words to spare Burns any embarrassment. Something in him snapped when Burns had said that they should spend some time apart. He knew, then and there, that he had to stand his ground or else things would only get worse until Burns got rid of him altogether. He hardly ever spoke to Burns in such a harsh tone, those rare times that he did, Burns usually seemed to take his words seriously.

The afternoon had been pretty dull after leaving Burns' place. He wasn't used to having so much free time on his hands so most of the time had been spent roaming around the apartment and sitting on the couch with Hercules watching reruns. The banquet was in a couple of hours and he planned on picking Stella up at her house. It would be strange going to the event without Burns. The dog slept peacefully in his lap as he sat on the couch, not really paying attention to what was on TV when the sudden ringing from his cell phone caught his attention. He grabbed his phone from the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"For the love of humanity! Please tell me you didn't kill him!" came Stella's frantic voice from the other end of the line. Smithers had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"Stella, is that you?"

"What are you, some kind of depraved psychopath? How could you?"

"Calm down! What is all this about?" asked Smithers.

"Calm down? How can I? You send me one of the most chillingly romantic stories I've ever read and then you just end it like that?" Stella asked. By the sound of it, she wasn't too happy with the latest chapter of Bloodlust. It was entertaining knowing that his novel had made such an impression; it was just the kind of strong reaction he hoped to achieve after ending it on such a cliffhanger.

"Oh, well... it isn't finished yet. I'm glad you like it so far."

"Not finished?" she asked urgently. "What could there possibly be left to write about... funeral arrangements?"

Smithers found it funny, the level of madness in her voice and started laughing. He knew it seemed a little rude since she seemed seriously distraught about it, but he still couldn't hold back his amusement.

"How could you laugh about something so sad?" yelled Stella.

"Didn't you read Lycius' prophecy? I though it was pretty obvious what would happen. All I can say is that you should to go back and read it again. I think you might be missing one important detail."

"Lycius said someone was gonna die!"

"Did he?" asked Smithers teasingly.

"But I still didn't expect that to happen! I don't even know if I want to read the next chapter if the rest of the story is so tragic. You should be ashamed, making me cry like that."

"You cried?" asked Smithers. That last scene had been difficult, even for himself as he'd typed it out, but the fact that it could move anyone to tears was unexpected.

"I'm going to write my own chapter to the story." she continued. "First I'll get rid of Loraine... kill her or something, then I'll find some way to fix all the stuff you screwed up!"

Smithers found himself laughing again and heard Stella's growl of disapproval.

"You have serious issues ya know! Anyone that can write something like that... You aren't having trouble with ole Burnsie are you? You sure you aren't gonna turn all suicidal and slit your wrist or something?"

"Relax! I'm fine!" assured Smithers. Of course he did identify with Wallace a great deal, but for her to assume since his story was so depressing that he might possibly be suicidal?

"You sure? I mean, forget the story a moment. How is everything with you and Mr. Burns?"

"I'm fine, really. It's just... complicated. Burns and I are complicated... and I have the feeling nothing's ever going to change that." Smithers uttered.

"The fact that he's is struggling with it only proves that he feels something for you." said Stella. Smithers had thought the same thing himself, yet his own skepticism prevented him from really believing it.

"Feels something? What, like disgust? Revulsion?" asked Smithers.

"I don't think so. He's kissed you twice already. His gaze lingers on longer than normal, sometimes even like he wants to kiss you again am I right?. If that isn't love then I don't know what is."

"Yeah, well... Enough talk about Mr. Burns." he said, quickly switching the conversation to something less personal. "The banquet starts around seven, so what time should I pick you up? Six thirty maybe?"

"Oh right, that's another reason I called. Uh, you don't have any plans right now do you?"

"No, not really." Smithers answered.

"Do you think you can come over a little earlier then? Like five thirty? I have something planned before the banquet if you're up for it."

"Sure, I have nothing better to do," Smithers replied, "since Mr. Burns doesn't want me around."

"Aw don't let that old curmudgeon worry you. He's kept you around this long, there's got to be something special about you that he likes."

"Yeah, I do everything he wants." Smithers replied.

"Well, there you go. I bet you'd make a good lover then! Burns is such a sadist; I bet it would be a real turn on to order you around!" she joked.

"Right..." laughed Smithers. "Maybe I should be glad he doesn't have much strength then!" They both laughed. Smithers just knew that if Burns could hear their conversation, he would not be pleased one bit.

"Okay, well I gotta go. See ya!" chimed Stella cheerfully.

"Wait, what's going on anyway? You say you have something planned for us?

"Uh... you'll see! It's a surprise!" she giggled.

"Okay... I think." Smithers replied hesitantly. "See you soon then."

"Bye."

So she had some surprise waiting? He wasn't sure whether he should run and hide or what. With her, you never knew what to expect. Then again, some part of him was a little curious as to what she was up to. It was nearly five o'clock, so he had around thirty minutes to get dressed and head over there.

- o - o - o -

Smithers was familiar with the neighborhood Stella had said her apartment was in and he knew it to be a pretty upscale place. It seemed strange that she could find a place to live so quickly, especially in such a nice neighborhood. Smithers pulled up in the parking area of the white, five-story building. He got out of his car and entered the building, taken aback by the grandeur of the lobby. How could she afford to live in such a place on her meager salary?

Once he'd reached her apartment and knocked, it didn't take long for her to open the door, yanking him into the room and greeting him with her usual annoying cheerfulness that he'd only recently become accustomed to.

"Waylon Babe! What brings you so early?" Stella greeted, quickly latching onto him in a crushing hug. When she released him, she took a few steps back and stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Oh, is that what you're wearing to the banquet?" asked Stella, a disapproving look on her face.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" He was wearing the gray blazer he'd bought when he and Burns had went shopping, matched with dark gray pants and the usual purple bow-tie. Certainly not as formal or dressy as Burns would be wearing, but Smithers was fine with it. He didn't really like to stand out from the crowd all that much anyway, preferring to watch Burns steal all the limelight.

"Well, nothing really, but I think we could make you look much nicer! Much more presentable!"

"What do you mean?" asked Smithers.

"Sure you look, eh... nice, but I think you could do much better if you wanna impress ole Burnsides!"

"Oh, I see what you're getting at. You think Mr. Burns would be attracted to me just for being well dressed? Come on, I don't think a tux and some shiny shoe polish is going to make a difference. That's not really his idea of sexy you know."

"Well, if you're gonna be that way then I have a nice cocktail dress in the back that just might fit you." she joked.

"Seriously Stella, is this why you asked me to come early? So you could play dress up? Unless you have some clothes in the back room that are tailored to my size, then you're out of luck."

"Well... excuse me I'll be right back!" she said, giggling as she left the room. Seconds after she passed the hall door, she popped her head back into the room. "Have a seat and make yourself comfortable!" she said before finally exiting.

Smithers couldn't believe it. She didn't seriously have some clothes back there for him to try on did she? He felt almost like he'd stepped dead in the middle of some crazy episode of 'What Not to Wear' with Stella as the host sans the flamboyant male co-host. He stepped into the middle of the room, taking in the posh atmosphere, the modern, streamlined coldness of the place with it's stark white and shades of gray and blue. Very uncharacteristic of Stella's bubbly personality.

Just as he prepared to sit on the sofa, some unknown male strolled into the room sipping on what looked like some frozen beverage with a straw. He was the typical goth/emo type donned in black with chains hanging from his belt loops. His dark hair hung in jagged locks about his shoulders with more jagged fringe across his forehead. He also wore a black hoodie with purple stripped sleeves and a skull with hearts for eyes embroidered across the front. The guy finally stopped sipping his drink and took notice of him with a puzzled look on his face.

"Who the hell are you?" the guy asked curiously, his voice somewhat raspy or gravelly yet still young sounding as if he could still sing with some teen boy-band. He was around Smithers' height, maybe an inch or so taller so it was sort of hard to gauge his age. Then again, why did his age matter anyway? It wasn't as if Smithers was attracted to him.

"Uh, I'm S-Smithers, Waylon Smithers... that is." came his uncertain voice. Okay, so maybe he was a little attracted to him.

"I like how James Bond-ish that sounded." he laughed. "Actually, Stella told me you were coming. I think I've seen you around somewhere before."

"Yeah? Well, I-I think I'd... remember if I'd seen you." Smithers answered. The guy sat his drink on the coffee table and stepped a little closer.

"Oh? And why is that?" He asked, smoothly. Smithers wondered if his voice was always so husky and sexy whenever he spoke or if it were deliberate. No matter, the guy had definitely succeeded in setting his gaydar off.

"You know, the whole hair-as-dark-as-your-soul style?" Smithers joked, stepping back a little from the guy's intimidating closeness. "N-not that I'm uh... complaining though. I- uh..."

"No need to explain. I am pretty unforgettable." the guy said grinning playfully as he finally stepped back to give Smithers some much needed space. "My name is Sid Lockheart by the way."

"Pardon me for asking, but how old are you anyway?" asked Smithers, finally succeeding in suppressing a little of his initial nervousness.

"Twenty. You gotta problem with that?" asked Sid.

"No! I- just curious is all." Smithers stammered, looking down to his feet nervously. He was a little guilty at himself for even noticing another guy. He did belong to Mr. Burns after all.

"Why? Wanna make sure you aren't robbing the cradle?" He laughed nudging Smithers with his elbow.

"Ah, something like that!" Smithers retorted. They both laughed. Soon Stella reemerged from the hallway and walked over to the both of them.

"Ah, I see you two have met!" she said. Just then the last person that Smithers expected to see, suddenly passed by the hallway and into one of the other rooms. It was Linsdey!

"Uh, Stella? What is going on here exactly? Why is Lindsey here?

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm staying with Lindsey until I get my own place." said Stella. She leaned in a little closer and whispered. "That way, I get to keep an eye on her!"

So this was Lindsey's apartment. It made sense that Stella would be staying there since she had only recently arrived in Springfield. However much he hated the idea of Burns going to the Banquet with Lindsey, one thing that relieved him was that Lindsey had agreed to do all of the driving that night since she seemed much more competent at the task.

"Okay, well what is he doing here?" Smithers asked, gesturing towards Sid.

"Oh, right! Remember how, on the phone, I told you I had a surprise?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, you'll just have to come with me in the back an I'll explain it all. Come along now. You too Sid, you helped set it up after all."

Smithers reluctantly followed Stella to the back room, Sid not far behind. For some reason, Smithers wasn't all too comfortable with Sid walking behind him, knowing he must be checking him out the whole way. Normally it would be a big stroke to his ego, but for some reason it felt wrong, maybe because he was so close to actually winning Burns over. He had to admit that he was somewhat bewitched by the young man's good looks and suave attitude, even if he was a little too young for him. Once they made it to the bedroom, Stella stopped and turned around to speak.

"Okay, so the thing is... I'm going to make you so drop dead sexy that Burns won't be able to take his eyes off of you. I've got it all planned."

"So it is what I suspected! I'm not going to be your little dress-up doll!" Smithers complained. Dressing up was Burns' thing, not his.

"You can be my dress-up doll if you like." Sid said. Stella looked over to him with her usual look of disapproval.

"Sid. What did I tell you before he got here?" she scolded.

"I know." Sid replied, crossing his arms. Stella leaned closer to Smithers and spoke.

"Sid flirts with everything that moves so just ignore him." she explained in a lowered voice.

"I do not flirt with everything that moves!" cried Sid in his defense. "Just... certain people I like."

"Anyways," said Stella, "you're gonna look sharp at this dinner whether you like it or not. I've got it all worked out so it won't cost us a thing. You see, Sid works at Costingtons and he's in good with the boss! The manager is a real doll and once we explained the situation, he was all into helping us out! He even had your measurements from when you shopped their earlier!"

Smithers was kind of shocked that she could pull off something like that and felt a little guilty that he really wasn't showing much gratitude for everything she had done.

"You're amazing Stell, really," Smithers started, "but I just don't feel right dressed up so formal. Any regular old suit is fine with me."

"Nonsense, it's already begun and there's no going back. Now hurry up and get out of those clothes so you can try this stuff on. Just try it on at least." said Stella, holding up the tux she'd picked out that was neatly sealed behind plastic. Smithers hesitated momentarily before deciding to reluctantly go through with Stella's plan. Hopefully, her taste in clothing was better than her decorating sense.

"Hmm, you sound like my mother." said Smithers. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try it on."

"Great! Okay Sid, get out so he can get undressed." Stella shooed her hands at Sid, waiting for him to leave the room. Sid sent a look of disbelief her way.

"What? Shouldn't you be the one to leave?" Sid protested. "He doesn't want a woman in here while he's naked!"

"Yeah, and he doesn't want some strange guy ogling him up and down either! Now get out!" Stella yelled. Smithers didn't really want to change in front of either of them. In fact, he never really like to change in front of anyone even if it was just his underwear they'd see.

"Both of you out!" Smithers ordered. Both Stella and Sid jumped at Smithers' sudden outburst before finally leaving him alone to change.

Once he'd kicked his shoes off and stripped down to his underwear, he went over to the bed to remove the tux from the plastic zip-bag it was in. However, before he could get it opened, he heard a creaking sound from behind. He quickly turned to see what it was, but there was nothing there. The only thing out of the ordinary was that the door had somehow opened by itself. Smithers closed the door and when he turned back around he was met by Sid, who stood there behind him grinning. Smithers jumped, his heart racing from the unexpected audience he now had.

"Hi there!" said Sid casually.

"Oh! Jeez, you scared the living daylights out of me!" uttered Smithers "Who do you think you are? Criss Angel or something?"

Sid simply laughed, Smithers didn't think it was all that funny. The guy was really starting to creep him out with the way he just knew things and the way he crept around so silently like a ninja.

"Look Sid. You're cute and all, but I'm already sort of attached to someone else." Sid stretched his arms out casually, for some reason, reminding Smithers of a black cat just awaking from its nap. He swallowed nervously.

"You mean Mr. Burns? I knew he would be a problem..." Sid brushed his thumb across his lip as if in deep thought.

"What? Stella told you about Burns?" asked Smithers. Of course it wasn't a huge deal since Burns knew already.

"Nah, I've been around. I know some things. Sid responded, pacing around the room as he talked. "Then again, I know a little bit about everyone." he winked, crossing his arms behind his back. The guy was sexy, but he was even creepier than Smithers had originally thought and it made him a little paranoid. Something about Sid just screamed obsessed stalker. Of course, he knew he was probably just overreacting.

"What does that mean? You... know things?" Smithers asks jokingly, though part of him still a bit concerned. Sid reached out a hand to him, brushing his warm fingers teasingly down Smithers' bare chest. Smithers grabbed his hand, preparing to push it away, but hesitated a moment as he listed to Sid speak.

"Waylon, why don't you dump old Burns? The guy treats you like shit. You deserve someone better." uttered Sid, his husky voice once again distracting Smithers' better judgment. Sid closes the space between them, now attempting to place both hands on Smithers' chest, upon which Smithers grabs onto both of them, pushing away slightly. Sid's hands remain however, firmly where they were as he leaned in to capture Smithers' lips with his. He gasped which Sid took as invitation, his tongue grazing along his lips, past his teeth until Smithers felt it coming into contact with his own, nudging against his tongue experimentally. Smithers knew, first hand, that the common stereotype of gay men just jumping into intimate relationships was often true, but he was certain that Sid had just broken a record. The shock momentarily stunned him before he finally realized what Sid was doing. He finally pulled away.

"You do realize... that I-I am twice you're age?" asked Smithers, suddenly finding it hard to speak, his voice faltering as he felt Sid now kissing his neck. "You couldn't seriously be interested in a man old enough to be your father."

"Who are you to talk? It doesn't seem to bother you that Burns is old enough to be your grandfather." Sid moved is lips lower to his chest. Smithers closed his eyes, trying to find the words of protest he knew he should be saying, yet stalling as he shamefully pictured Burns as the one whose mouth was currently closing over his nipple. Instead, it was this guy he barely even knew. He suddenly found Sid's knee, positioning between his legs, parting them.

"Sid!" Smithers cried, "That's enough, stop!" Sid looked up at him, his eyes heavily darkened with black eyeshadow.

"Why should I?" he asked, "I know you're pretending I'm Burns right? We've all pretended before, just like when I always pretend the guys that I'm with are you."

"What the– ? " Before Smithers could question him further, the door swings open.

"Sid! What are you boys up to!" Stella shrieked. "Am I going to have to get the water hose on you two?"

Smithers finally escaped Sid's grip and started to brush his clothes off until he embarrassingly remembered that he was standing there in his boxers. Smithers gets the black pants that went with the tux and hurriedly slips them on. Stella continued to complain.

"You put two cute guys together alone and this is what you end up with? Don't you guys know any restraint? And you Waylon! You should be ashamed!"

"I know it looked bad, but I really have no interest in starting anything with anyone but Burns." said Smithers. It was the truth. He couldn't deny that he felt some strange attraction to the mysterious guy, but that didn't mean he wanted him.

"Here we go with Burns again." Sid griped, holding his hands up as if in defeat. "He's so old that if you took him to an antique shop, they'd try to buy him!"

"Well, Mr. Burns is really young at heart. He's gets along pretty good for his age." Smithers replied, irritated by Sid's disrespect towards Burns.

- o - o - o -

_The vampire's nails dug into his hips painfully, distracting him from the uncomfortable friction of Baines moving with him, within him. His legs wrapped around Baines' waist, his toes clenched as he was shoved into the bed with every forward motion. He was afraid to mention his discomfort, afraid that anything he might say would ruin everything and Baines would stop out of concern for him, but his own voice betrayed him as he accidentally cried out, not very loudly, but enough for Baines to take notice. There was no stopping a vampire however. _

_"Wallace, stop tensing!" Baines scolded. He seemed to sense the agitation in his own voice, speaking considerably gentler as he continued, slowing his pace. "It should be... easier... if you relax."_

"_How would you know?" asked Wallace breathlessly._

"_Silence! No more ...mm... talking!" he said, his voice occasionally halting and strained with lust. Had this meant that Baines had more experience in that area than he was letting on? Irritated once again, The vampire showed no more restraint, no regard for the stinging pain that he was causing that finally seemed to diminished the more they progressed until it was barely noticeable. At least Baines was right in that regard._

_Wallace hissed through clenched teeth as Baines continually hit a certain spot that made it feel like he was seeing stars. He opened his eyes, finding it hard to focus as his mind was hazily distracted from reality. He paused a moment to take in the sight of the vampire above him. What a divine sight it was to see the man's seemingly unshakable composure, lost in a sea of passion. It was just the way he'd always imagined Baines, never really daring to believe it all would come to fruition someday. Their eyes met momentarily, his intense eyes were always so intoxicating, even more so now, as they radiated this wild, primal, almost vulnerable quality._

_In an effort to keep up, Wallace licked his fingers and quickly slipped a hand down his body, sliding along his own length with a shaky, unsteady grip. It it was almost numbing once he'd reached a certain point, almost as if there were nothing left to feel, no other level to climb until there was this perpetual bliss, desperately urging him to bring it all to completion, yet not fully wanting it to end._

_He knew it would end soon however with Baines' quickened pace, his body clenching. All too soon he felt the man succumbing to the inevitable, the sudden heat filling him. It was all such an overload to the senses that he felt like he could come just by the memory of it._

_Wallace felt him finally pull away. He jumped as Baines' cold hand unexpectedly crept up along his thigh. His inexperienced, teenage control never even stood a chance as Baines reached out, pushing Wallace's hand aside and running his fingers along his cock. He'd barely even touched him before the boy came with a most lascivious cry, sullying the both of them._

o - o - o -

Burns sat the pages down on the end table and took a moment to come back to his senses. By now, such scenes in the story shouldn't have such a shocking affect on him, but there was just something so compelling and strangely sensual about those two together that he didn't think he'd ever quite get used to. It was almost like a thing you'd see at a side show, where you don't want to look, yet you can't control your own curiosity and you just have to see more.

The one thing that did have him worried though, was the way Wallace made it seem kind of painful in the beginning. He didn't know why it had him concerned. He wasn't really planning on that sort of activity for himself. Then again, if he ever did just happen to end up in such a predicament with Smithers, he wondered whether or not such a position would be expected of him? Certainly there were other, less stressful positions to choose from. It was all just hypothetical he had to quickly remind himself. He had other things to think of, but there was still just one more chapter that sat there on the table, just waiting to be read.

o - o - o -

_Lying naked beneath the sheets of the canopy bed, Baines felt the young man beside him curling up against him as if trying to meld himself along the side of his body. Baines could feel Wallace absentmindedly drawing paths along his belly, almost lulling him into a trance-like state._

_He felt more content than he had in decades. He was quickly growing to accept, even actively pursue, this new form of passion that he had with Wallace. A passion that had gone from mere bloodlust to something more. What exactly it had become, he was uncertain. Was it still bloodlust? An undeniable physical attraction? Perhaps even love? Sometimes he wasn't sure to what extent his vampiric desires muddled his senses. He liked to think that what he felt was really love._

_That confusion, however, was the only source of dissension he had. Everything else seemed perfectly clear to him now. However much he dreaded it, he knew he had to come clean to Loraine pretty soon. It would be wrong to string her along into a relationship that would ultimately be doomed to failure. The hardest part would be finding a way to tell her that it was over, especially since she had so much invested in their future together._

_He looked over to Wallace, uncertain as to whether or not he was still awake. He hated to get up and just leave him there, to leave the warmth of being wrapped up with Wallace clinging onto him, but the day was still early and he had work in his lab that couldn't be put off until later._

"_Wallace," he whispered, hoping the teen was still asleep._

"_Hmm?" came Wallace's tired voice. _

"_You mustn't become too comfortable, I am to be leaving soon." Baines slowly unwrapped himself from __Wallace's embrace and sat up on the edge of the bed, he felt movement behind him, then Wallace slowly grazing his fingers down his spine, causing him to shiver. He had to remind himself that there were vials and concoctions in the basement waiting for him; experiments that depended on his prompt arrival._

"_You don't really have to leave do you?" asked Wallace finally._

"_Not to worry, I shan't be gone long." he replied. This time, he felt Wallace behind him, arms wrapping around his chest, his head resting on Baines' shoulder. Even after the wild morning they'd had, he still had this urge that seemed to intensify the more Wallace touched him until he wanted nothing more than to simply throw him up against the wall, the floor, anywhere and pierce his fangs into that lovely flesh once again._

"_When will you return?" asked Wallace innocently, unaware of the turmoil that Baines was currently under. Baines reluctantly stood, in all of his nakedness, and crossed the room to the ornate, mahogany wardrobe to find some fresh clothes to wear._

"_As soon as I return, dear Wallace." Baines laughed as he slipped on a pair of tan trousers. "Anxious are you?"_

_Wallace got up off of the bed, clutching the white sheets around him to cover himself, much to Baines amusement. Baines wasn't one for walking around nude either, but the extent of Wallace's shyness never ceased to amaze him. Wallace cautiously passed him on the way to the door, an action that almost seemed like an invitation in Baines warped sense of logic. Most likely, Wallace was just going to his own room for some clothes, but the skin exposed around his neck and shoulders was just too tempting to let the boy pass by unfettered. Baines hastily grabbed onto him from behind, sheet falling to the floor, and pulled him back into the room. He shoved Wallace up against the wall next to the doorway, almost blinded by his need for blood, the essence of his immortality. He kissed Wallace along the neck until he reached a particularly favored area, rich with live-giving blood so close to the surface that he could almost hear it rushing by. Lost in his own veil of desperation, he ran his teeth teasingly along the skin, finally breaking through. It was only when he heard Wallace gasp that he snapped back to his senses. Baines pulled away and fell to his knees, his breathing ragged._

_A small trickle of blood began to roll down Wallace's chest and down his body. The sight was almost terrifying given the fact that he had actually felt himself losing the battle over his free will when he had bitten him. Never had his bloodlust been so encompassing. The look on Wallace's face however, did not mirror his own, as Wallace seemed turned on by the experience. He looked down at Baines through heavy-lidded eyes._

"_I never can stay clean with you around." uttered Wallace, grinning._

"_This is becoming a problem..." said Baines, still crouched in the floor on his knees._

"_What? You mean us together?" asked Wallace._

"_No! Er... I meant... This passion. The intensity of it."_

"_I rather like it." stated Wallace casually. Baines couldn't believe Wallace could be so unconcerned about it. Baines stood, resting one hand against the wall behind Wallace._

"_You like almost dying? This damned craving might very well be the end of you!" Baines raged. "Is that what you want?" Wallace didn't say a word. Baines continued. "I've forgotten what it means to be human! The feeling of needing... wanting someone for something other than this retched craving for blood!"_

"_It's called love Mortimer. What you feel is not just a chemical reaction! This isn't alchemy!"_

"_You couldn't possibly understand. I'm not completely sure that I know what real love is anymore, having so long confused it with my instincts as a vampire. For me, love is nothing more than a clever illusion of the mind." Baines turned his back to Wallace, wringing his hands in frustration._

"_So you don't love me then?" Wallace asked. "Surely you don't believe that. When you came and got me out of the rain, the way you held onto me then. Do you really believe that that was an illusion?"_

"_You don't know what it's like to be at constant battle with these urges." said Baines, turning back to face him. "They can trick the mind! Make you feel like you love someone when it's really the body's way of survival. To feed off of another just for your own shameless self preservation!"_

"_Don't say such a thing! You need to survive! If not for yourself, then for my sake!" said Wallace. After a few seconds, he began to speak, words that Baines had heard many times in the past. "So dear I love him that with him, all deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life."_

"_Shakespeare? You're quoting Shakespeare? Do you not ever tire of him? He was not the only great writer of the time you know." said Baines, the suddenness of Wallace reciting poetry in the midst of such emotional tension was sort of odd, but at the same time, a refreshing change of pace._

"_Jealous? It wasn't Shakespeare however, it was John Milton."_

"_Hmm, well I have one that seems rather appropriate." Baines paused dramatically before he spoke, "'So long as I can breathe or I can see, so long lives your love which gives life to me.'"_

"_Ah, now that sounds like Shakespeare." said Wallace cheerfully._

"_What? No, I'm sure it was Christopher Marlowe." Baines replied._

"_I am certain it was none other than Shakespeare."_

"_They could be the same person for all I care... the author is of little importance. My point being that it is you're love that gives me life... not just your blood." Something about that line had always rang true for him. Even long ago, he'd remembered that particular quote more than any other he had read._

"_Oh, so now you believe in love?" asked Wallace. "You, who just recently preached that love was an illusion?"_

_Baines simply smirked, crouching back down on bended knee to kiss along the trail of blood that remained, gleaming across Wallace's abdomen just below his navel. He began to lick clean the evidence of his overzealous bite. The intense bloodlust he had felt earlier, now considerably weakened. He felt Wallace's fingers ambling through his short silvery hair as he went on tasting the bloodstained skin, moving lower to the boy's hipbone._

_Wallace's arousal was apparent, yet Baines chose to ignore it for the moment. He held him firmly in place against the wall which wasn't an easy task with Wallace's constant fidgeting. He continued to kiss along Wallace's body from his hip, edging nearer to his inner-thigh until he heard Wallace gasp. It wasn't like the gasp so full of lust earlier, but one of surprise. Not to be distracted, he continued on, now running a hand up Wallace's leg._

"_Mr. Baines!" Wallace yelled suddenly._

"_Mmm..."_

_"Please... stop!" Wallace stammered, his voice distraught for some reason. Baines paused, taking a second to look up to see Wallace's face. However, it wasn't Wallace's face that caught his immediate attention. Much to his horror, there stood Loraine in the doorway, mere inches away with her hands covering her mouth in shock!_

_Baines quickly let go of Wallace and fell back onto the floor, his heart threatening to beat from his chest at the sudden intrusion. Wallace grabbed the sheet near his feet and made a hasty retreat to the back of the room._

"_Of all the – ! What on earth do you think you were doing?" shrieked Loraine._

_The blond woman stood in the doorway, her eyes wide with horror. Baines sat in the floor speechless, a real sense of panic gripping him. The last thing he wanted was for Loraine to find out this way! In fact, he had just wanted to end the relationship with her without even mentioning anything about being involved with Wallace!_

"_Well? Answer me I say!" Loraine yelled, her shrill voice threatening to deafen him._

"_It's not what it looks like." answered Baines unconvincingly._

"_Is that all you can say? While never have I seen such a thing, I do know what I saw!"_

_In fact, Baines was certain that she didn't really know completely what she had seen. She still didn't know that he was a vampire and that he had just bitten Wallace right before she had found them. Perhaps the best thing would be to keep his condition a secret from her. Baines remained sitting on the floor, running his fingers through his short hair._

"_I take it that I have caught you both quite off guard. Tell me, it this a normal occurrence whenever I am not around?" Loraine set her sights on Wallace in the back of the room._

"_Why is he bleeding?" she asked, her eyes catching the small traces of blood that still left crimson trails down his chest. "What kind of deplorable games were you two playing?"_

_Somehow, Baines found the resolve to finally stand._

"_Well, I'm a vampire you know." he replied in a joking sort of way, knowing full well that she still wouldn't believe it, even now. _

"_Hmm, and I'm Mary, Queen of Scots! One should be a fool to believe in such nonsense!" she said angrily, her hands resting upon her hips._

"_I can't begin to apologize for my unfaithfulness to you Loraine, but it seems cupid's arrow is often undiscriminating, striking without warning."_

"_You love him? HIM? What about me? When were you planning to tell me this? Do you not think I have the right to know?" she yelled. Baines kept silent. "I can't believe you would let him come betwixt us! I don't think this can ever be forgiven!"_

"_Then, I suppose there is nothing left to discuss. I am truly sorry." said Baines. He knew it sounded cold and uncaring, but he really felt as if nothing he said would have really made a difference anyway._

"_What? That is all you have to say?"asked Loraine, staring at him in disbelief. "Aren't you even going to fight to keep me?"_

"_The truth is out now. I can't possibly have the both of you. I can't have two loves, I can't live, constantly torn between the both of you."_

"_So you choose him? A mere boy? He can't bear you any children! I'll bet the little insufferable brat can't even cook a decent meal!" said Loraine, flailing her hands aimlessly. The venom in her words hadn't slipped past him and had felt almost like a slap in the face to hear her speak so ill of Wallace. He remained calm however._

"_Au contraire m'lady. He makes quite a delicious meal. If you consider blood the main course." said Baines, his smooth voice, dripping with sarcasm._

"_Oh! I can't believe you! How can you make jokes? You think it's funny do you? Well how would you feel if I were to tell you that the whole reason I came here today was to inform you that I am expecting?" stated Loraine. The full scale of what she'd said hadn't really set in, he wasn't sure if she was joking or just being hypothetical._

"_Expecting what?" stammered Baines uncertainly, staring into her eyes looking for any signs of deception._

"_You're going to be a father!" she stated firmly, cementing his fears. "That changes the circumstances quite a bit, does it not?"_

_Baines stands motionless, staring at her as if she had suddenly grown another set of eyes. Had he heard her right? Was he really going to be a father? He could remember a time in the distant past that he actually thought being a father would be a great thing, something to look forward to. Now, the prospect only filled him with much trepidation. It all seemed so unreal, especially since he had so recently deemed their relationship over. His mind was suddenly blank._

"_What am I to do now?" said Baines to no one in particular as he looked down at his hands, lost in his own sense of fear and dread._

"_I assumed you knew the risks! Of course, you wouldn't have that problem with Wallace now would you?"_

"_I will of course, care for the child." said Baines, managing to stand a little straighter as he responded._

"_I suppose now, you'll have to marry me then." she replied, looking to him with anticipation, awaiting his reply._

_Baines looks over to Wallace who seemed to be in a similar state of shock, perhaps even more so than himself if at all possible. The young man's eyes were wide and full of unshed tears. It all must have been too much for Wallace to bear as he quickly looked away and rushed out of the room. Baines called after him but he'd already disappeared down the hall leading to his room._

"_I'm sorry Loraine, but we can discuss this later. I must go after him." Baines slipped on his white shirt and quickly ran after Wallace._

* * *

**A. N. - About the beginning, yeah, Stella has read an extra chapter that hasn't been revealed to you guys yet which is why she was freaking out. So sorry, but I can't say anymore just yet.**

**Anyone get the Shakespeare/Christopher Marlowe joke? Some think they may have been the same person since Christopher could have faked his own death and later on took the name of Shakespeare. Just a theory though.**

**Chapter 21 Preview: It's time for the banquet, Burns and Lindsey have a little talk in the car on the way there. Once there, Burns scans the room for any sign of Smithers. Oh, yeah... there is this one last chapter that Burns hasn't read yet that Stella brings to his attention.**


	21. In the Fast Lane

**Chapter Twenty One: In the Fast Lane**

"Oh! Oh God stop! You're going too fast Monty!" yelled Lindsey, gripping onto the car seat for dear life. Burns looked over to her briefly to see that she was now covering her eyes with her hands. Sure, he was going a little over the speed limit, but in his opinion, Lindsey was just overreacting.

"Pull over!" yelled Lindsey. Burns quickly swerved out of the way of an oncoming car, blaring his horn.

"Why don't they just stay home when I'm on the road?" yelled Burns irritably.

"Please, Monty, just pull over and let me drive." said Lindsey, her voice surprisingly calm as Burns continued driving haphazardly through the streets of Springfield.

"Oh stop being so dramatic. I haven't hit anything yet!" Burns replied, trying in his own way to sound at least a little comforting.

"Yet? Dammit Monty, I said pull over!"

At Lindsey's sudden outburst, Burns slammed onto the brakes, the car squalling to a stop, the right front tire rammed up onto the sidewalk. Why everyone freaked out over his driving was a mystery to him. Of course he could drive a little slower, but that would mean he would have a longer drive to the banquet in Shelbyville and a longer drive meant more time spent in the car with Lindsey. He didn't know what to think of her anymore with all of the confusion he felt over Smithers, not to mention the whole deceptive way she had kept so many secrets since the beginning. He'd never really confronted her on why she had lied about being a government safety inspector and there were still so many questions he wanted to know.

"Now what?" Burns asked, gritting his teeth with annoyance, his hands still planted firmly on the steering wheel.

"Please, just let me drive the rest of the way." she pleaded.

"But this is my car!" Burns argued. "Besides, I'm tired of you always driving us around. In my day, it was the man that did all of the driving."

"Oh really? Then why do you always have Smithers drive then?" she asked.

"-And just what are you implying? Are you saying that Smithers is like the man in the relationship?"

"I said nothing of you're relationship with Smithers. Why so defensive?"

"I am not being defensive." said Burns, hoping that the apparent defensiveness with which he spoke wasn't too apparent.

"Just forget it." Lindsey crossed her arms, "I have no intention on arguing with you all night. Either you let me drive or I'm walking home!"

Burns wasn't much in the mood for bickering either. Finally conceding defeat, he opened the car door and walked around to the passenger's side. Lindsey did the same, exiting the car and quickly hopping into the driver's seat. Burns settled down into his seat and slammed the car door a little harder than intended. Lindsey was really begining to become more irritating as the evening passed. The next couple of miles were uncomfortably silent as Burns watched the street signs pass by. One sign stating, "You Are Now Leaving Springfield". Lindsey had been driving for quite a while and Burns was sure that they were about halfway there. He had yet to question her about why she lied about being an inspector, but since all of the chemistry they once had seemed long gone anyway, he figured that now was just a good a time as any to ask.

"Ms. Naegle, there is something I've been meaning to ask you." Mr. Burns began.

"Oh?" she asked, keeping her eyes carefully on the road ahead. Perhaps they weren't so much alike after all, as far as their driving habits were concerned.

"Well...I've been wanting to ask you for a while, but I never really knew how to bring it up. You see, I have a rather faithful group of advisers that I keep involved in my day-to-day business affairs, one can't be too careful you know." Burns laughed nervously, preparing himself for what he was to say next. "Anywho, it has come to my attention that you might possibly... not really be an official, government inspector."

"What? Who the hell told you this?" she roared, the car suddenly swerving dangerously. Burns suddenly understood the fear people had whenever he would drive like that. "When I get my hands on the little snitch that blabbed I'll... I'll-"

"Lindsey! Watch out!" Burns cried. From out of nowhere there came a woman pushing a stroller, about to cross right in front of the car. Burns covered his eyes. The car gave another sickening squalling sound and Burns was struggling between wanting to cover his eyes or covering his ears. He didn't like babies either, but he certainly didn't want to see them as road kill! The next sound he heard however, wasn't a crash; it was Lindsey's voice yelling out of the window.

"Get outta my way ya breeder! The last thing the world needs is more dribbling babies!"

It took a few moments for Burns to calm himself. This woman was even more wacko than he'd imagined!

"Uh, maybe I should drive." Burns stuttered.

"Oh, shut up!" Lindsey snapped.

"What?" Burns asked incredulously. Just who did she think she was to talk to him like that? If anyone, Burns was the one that should be angry.

"I'm sorry Monty. I really am." Lindsey apologized, her driving now more sober as her fit of rage subsided. "You know, you and I are a lot alike. If we were to ever get married, we'd make a real formidable team."

"Don't change the subject Ms. Naegle. Were you lying to me or not?" asked Burns, his words losing the familiarity they once had. After a long pause, and a little bit of fidgeting from Lindsey, she finally replied.

"You're right, it was all just a sham. I'm not really from the government." Lindsey admitted, surprisingly without much prodding.

"I didn't think so." Burns sighed. No matter how far-fetched he knew it was, he had still foolishly held on to the hope that Lindsey might not have been lying. "Smithers told me you studied business at Wharton, You're aren't even qualified for the position of inspector."

"So Mr. Smithers is the one that's been spying on me? I should have known..." said Lindsey, the bitterness in her voice as she spoke Smither's name was sickeningly apparent. Burns suddenly regretted even bringing his assistant's name into this. He knew what Lindsey was capable of. She had almost as much influence in Springfield as Burns himself and could probably have just about anyone carted off to prison, or perhaps worse, at the drop of a hat.

"Well, not only Smithers. I have many informants. I know pretty much all there is to know about every last pitiable citizen of this miserable town." Burns quickly added, hoping to shift the focus away from his assistant. "What I would like to know is why? Why would you lie?" Burns looked over to her in the driver's seat. He wasn't about to let her off the hook, especially now that he had her alone in the car. No place to escape his questioning.

"The fact is," she started, "I've always been very impressed by your success. You're like a pillar of the community and I thought maybe I could learn from you, perhaps even become a little closer to you." she said, the flirtatious tone to her voice alerting his suspicions.

"Well, I'll admit that I do feel a certain...kinship with some of your more ruthless business practices. I have been known for quite a few scandals myself, but if it is a relationship that you want... I'm not sure if a woman is really what I need in my life right now." he answered truthfully, of course, Lindsey didn't have to know just how truthful that statement had been. "Things are just too complicated. I'm sure you can understand?"

"Fine. Just fine Mr. Burns. Just tell me one thing. Do I still have a job at the plant?"

He took a moment to consider her question. Would it really be wise to keep her around? She seemed highly qualified for the position simply based upon her financial prowess alone. Then again, what was she really up to? Could he really afford to have her privy to all of his dubious business practices? It would seem illogical to give someone like her even more fodder to blackmail him later on. Such knowledge would only give her more power over him.

"I'm sorry Lindsey. I'm going to have to fire you. I just don't think it would work out. Besides the fact that a couple of laws were broken, it would be awkward for the both of us." said Burns.

"I don't think it would be all that awkward working along side of you." Lindsey stated, the car coming to a halt at the stoplight. Burns had been staring at her, but looked away uncomfortably as she caught his stare.

"I'm sorry, but my mind is made up." said Burns.

"Well, I'm sorry it has to be this way. I just hope you know what you've gotten yourself into. You see, I have this nasty habit of holding a grudge."

"What exactly are you saying Ms. Naegle?"

"Just tread lightly around me from now on Monty and there won't be any trouble. I'm not one to be trifled with too easily." she said venomously.

"What is that? Surely it isn't a threat?" asked Burns staring at her once again, his eyes wide with disbelief. Lindsey looked into his eyes and reached a hand out to his face, patting the side of his cheek patronizingly like one would a child.

"Still so cute Monty. So naively cute..."

- o - o - o -

Fortunately for Burns, they arrived right on time for the banquet. Even one more minute in that car with Lindsey and the deadening silence between them would have been unbearable. He was anxious to get there and find Smithers. He told himself that it was just so he could fill him in on what happened with Lindsey, but deep down, he knew that some part of him was actually eager to see his assistant. He was eager to get back to the familiarity that Smithers brought along side him.

It was around seven. The sun hung heavy in the blue sky, still more than an hour before it finally set. Mr. Burns stood next to his car, unconsciously scanning the area for Smithers' car which was nowhere to be seen. He then stopped to take a look around. They were at the local Shelbyville Charriot Hotel which looked to be somewhere around twenty stories high. Burns walked a little ahead of Lindsey and anyone watching wouldn't even think they had come together. Nonetheless, Burns still held the door open for her out of habit.

Once they made it to the banquet hall on the fourth floor, Burns stood atop a balcony overlooking the room. Leading down from he balcony was a set of curved staircases. He quickly glanced around the ballroom full of tables, chairs and people standing around chatting. The room was huge and very elegant with it's high ceilings, golden walls, shiny wooden parquet flooring and white drapery. As he reached the bottom of the stair case, there was a stage directly ahead. The middle of the room was cleared out as a dance floor with tables on either side.

Burns caught himself once again searching for Smithers amongst the roomful of guests. By the looks of it, he most likely hadn't arrived yet. He felt someone brush up against him from behind and turned to see that it was Lindsey.

"Well, I'm sorry this evening kicked off to a bad start." she said. "I think it would be best for us to bury the hatchet and at least try to have fun."

"Yes. I suppose you're right." Burns answered uncertainly. She seemed considerably nicer now, than she had not long ago when they were in the car.

"Well, I'll just be on my way, I have lots of mingling to do before dinner starts. I do hope you'll reconsider firing me."

"Lindsey I..." Burns started, but Lindsey pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him from finishing his sentence.

"Just think about it." said Lindsey before leaving Burns standing there alone at the base of the steps. He hadn't been alone at any fancy gala or event for as long as he could remember and was kind of surprised that no one had approached him yet. Even though he had only just arrived, normally he would have already been swarmed with party guests and rich business associates all vying for his attention. The occasional person came along, brushing by him and not one of them stopped to greet him. Could it be that no one recognized him without Smithers by his side? Burns laughed at the thought.

He decided it would be best to stop standing around like an idiot and walk around a bit to see if he saw anyone he knew and to hopefully flaunt his presense a little. It would have been nice to at least receive one compliment on his white tux and hat that he'd bought just for the occasion. He spotted Lindsey chatting away with some young businessman that Burns was friends with. She certainly didn't seem to waste any time finding someone else.

Burns then turned his attention to a younger red-haired lady that seemed to be all alone like himself. He approached her.

"Well hello there young lady, are you sure you aren't hurt?"

"What?" she asked.

"You know, when you fell from heaven?"

"Oh! You think you... and I..." The woman laughed hysterically, holding her sides. "Good heavens, now that's a good one! Move along grandpa, I'm not interested in old geysers."

"But I'm cute..." mumbled Burns. While he didn't like being laughed at, he still had been prepared for such a reaction so he didn't let it bother him for long.

He was sort of relieved that he still had the urge to flirt with all of the pretty women, something that had been worrying him every since he started feeling this confusion over Smithers. He could remember a time in his life when almost no one would turn him down. Even if he knew he didn't stand a chance with them, it was worth it just for the attention alone. It was worth it for the thrill of the hunt as they say.

Moving on, he saw another woman chatting with a couple of other girls. One of them was a little obscured from his view. One was a petite blond with a green cocktail dress. The tallest one had beautiful, glossy black hair and seemed to be the center of attention. Burns sidled up next to them.

"Well hello there ladies! Mind if I join in on the conversation?" said Burns, his attention centered on the tall brunette.

"Huh? Who are you?" she asked in a snarky tone.

"Don't tell me you've never seen me before! I certainly know I've seen you somewhere." said Burns playfully, tipping his white hat to the side.

"Oh? And where would that be?" asked the woman unfazed.

"Why, in my dreams of course!"

"Save it pal. I'm married." The brunette elbowed her friend, smirking mockingly at Burns. He was sure she was single, after all he didn't see a ring and that was something he always checked for; However, the woman's attitude was becoming a major turnoff.

"Really? I don't see a ring." said Burns, crossing his arms.

"Surely you aren't that old fashioned?" she asked, "You don't have to wear a ring constantly you know."

"Okay then, where's your husband?" asked Burns. He honestly didn't know why he was even talking to her anymore. Perhaps out of curiosity.

"You don't have to have a husband to be married these days old-timer." she answered.

"What? Don't be ridiculous. Married means man and woman. You're the woman, so there has to be a man in the formula somewhere!"

"Damn! What the F*** is you're problem? Would you just go away?" yelled the tall brunette.

"Of course, just wait a second." said Burns uncrossing his arms, "I'm confused. What did you marry then if it wasn't a man? A rabbit? A tree?"

"Well, if you must know..." The woman, without warning, grabbed the shorter blond haired girl next to her and planted a kiss right on her lips. When she finally released her, the blond girl looked stunned for a second as did Burns."

"I always have that affect. What can I say? I have many talents." said the Brunette.

Burns looked around and quickly discovered that no one in the room had even reacted to the kiss and he was left feeling ridiculously at a loss for words.

"Well if you had been wearing a ring then you wouldn't have to worry about creepy old men hitting on you!" Burns yelled.

"Whatever. Come on Gabby." The two girls left, leaving their friend standing next to Burns. She seemed to be amused by the whole thing and was holding her hand over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggling. She had waist length, curly brown hair and a form-fitting silver dress. He didn't know why he had failed to notice her before. She was a real sight for sore eyes and arguably the most beautiful women in the whole ballroom. Her exotic features looked to be right out of the Hollywood movies.

"Well aren't you just too cute for words?" she said, grabbing on to Burns' arm lightly.

"Hello there. The name's Monty Burns."

"You don't have to tell me. I know who you are. I'm Kendra Lockheart." she said cheerfully. Burns reached for her hand, kissing it like a gentleman in an old classic movie.

"Hm, it's good to find that at least someone here knows my name." said Burns. It was encouraging to hear someone acknowledge the fact that he was indeed cute, even if it was a stranger. Even hearing a few of his cheesy pick-up lines earlier hadn't been a turn-off for her. Gaining a little of his confidence back, Burns spoke.

"So, would it be okay to take a picture of you? I'd like to show Santa just what I want for Christmas this year." he said.

"Oh, I just wanna take you home and-" her words trailed off as her attention seemed to be diverted to something in the distance, behind Burns. He turned around to see what she was looking at but he didn't see anything. He did notice that quite a few others were also staring and their eyes seemed to be drawn to the top of the staircase on the other side of the room. Burns did see someone up there, two people in fact. It looked like a new couple had arrived and were fashionably late. Burns didn't see what all the commotion and whispering was about, they looked to be just regular party guests.

However, as they descended staircase, Burns did notice that there was something about them that set them apart from the crowd. They were a very nice looking well-dressed couple, exceptionally good-looking in fact. The man, with his sleek black tux and dark, slicked back hair, looked even more dapper than Burns himself which didn't sit well with him. He was all ready to dislike the man the minute he entered the room.

Surprisingly, the well-dressed stranger and his female companion approached Mr. Burns, coming to stand in front of him. The man was grinning at him as if waiting for some response. Burns had a blank stare on his face as he tried to figure out why the man had stopped in front of him without saying a word. Burns reached out awkwardly to shake his hand. The man ignored the handshake and simply placed both hands on Burns' shoulders, shaking him a bit with a little more familiarity than Burns was comfortable with.

"Mr. Burns? Come on, don't you even recognize me?"

The voice suddenly made his heart skip a beat as he instantly recognized it to be Smithers'. How could it be that this stranger perfectly mimicked his voice so well?

"Wha- what?" Burns managed to utter. His mind still as blank as his stare.

"Do I really look that different?" the man laughed, his hands still clasped onto Burns' shoulders. "Stella, I told you not to go overboard."

"Smithers?" asked Burns uncertainly.

"Yeah." Smithers answered, finally letting go of him. He looked decidedly amused by Burns' reaction and Burns held his hand to his mouth as he finally looked away, coughing embarrassingly and trying to straighten himself out. Smithers looked completely different leaving Burns feeling even more uneasy around him than before.

He swallowed, his throat uncomfortably dry as he set his sights back on his assistant again. He had never seen Smithers so... put together from head to toe. Had he been any other man, Burns would have been instantly envious of the newcomer that was stealing all the limelight; however, this was Smithers. He wasn't suppose to be so dashing. How did he even manage to walk down those steps without his glasses? His hair was slicked back so neatly, clearly a shade darker, presumably from the hair gel. His black tux was so dark it seemed to radiate with a hint of blue when cast under the right light. Beneath the jacket he wore a silver waistcoat and matching tie and had a blue daisy pinned to his lapel.

"Smithers." Burns repeated after a long pause. "Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Burns internally kicked himself for even suggesting they be alone. He had wanted to tell Smithers about firing Lindsey just like he always told Smithers everything that went on, but now he wasn't so sure if they could fall back into the comfortable routine they'd had before.

Smithers looked over to Stella momentarily.

"Oh alright, I know you're trying to get rid of me. Have fun alone with Burnsie." Stella winked before leaving the two standing alone.

"W-what did she... mean by that?" asked Burns.

"Just forget it." Smithers laughed nervously, standing with his arms clasped behind his back. "I think it's gonna be kind of hard to find a moment alone in this place Monty." Burns could feel Smithers nudging against him, making the comment even more suggestive.

* * *

**A.N. - Don't kill me for ending it there! XD Wait, I don't mean the story is ending, just the chapter. Smithers and Burns still haven't gotten it on yet... uh... not that I would actually write about that ;) I'd certainly -try- to handle it carefully.**

**Just want to give a quick thanks to a few reviewers: DevilsLight, QueenTakhsis, Rose-de-Noire, Zesty Cactus, Kaboocha, Rainbow Anomaly, TourmalineTrue, Lisbeth Simpson. I know that isn't everyone... just the ones that were on the latest review page. If you aren't listed, that means I hate you... just kidding! XD Hope you guys don't mind me mentioning you. Thanks for putting up with my slow posting habits lately.**

**Coming up: What happens at the long awaited and much hyped banquet? ah... more like what's gonna happen on prom nig _-coughs-_I mean banquet night. **

**To Be Continued.**


	22. You Get What You Paid For

**Chapter Twenty Two: You Get What You Paid For**

The contacts Smithers wore that evening were very irritating. He rarely ever wore them and while initially, he didn't like getting so dressed up and changing himself just for some silly formal event, it was well worth it just to see Burns' reaction. Smithers had spotted him instantly from the moment he entered the ballroom. Much to his annoyance, he had also seen that gorgeous brunette in the silver dress that Mr. Burns had been fawning over.

Though, his jealously was short lived as Mr. Burns' behavior was particularly interesting. It was hard not to notice that as soon as Burns set his sights on him, all fawning over the brunette had instantly stopped and Burns' attention was completely centered on him and he hadn't even given the girl a second glance ever since. Smithers had seen that look before from his boss, but never did he expect to see it directed towards himself. Mr. Burns had actually seemed stunned for a moment as he stood there speechless and even when he did manage to speak, he did so with such instability, his voice faltering.

Smithers had a good feeling about the night already. He was normally so used to disappointment that even when it seemed like Mr. Burns might actually be coming around to reciprocating some of his affections, even the idea of it seemed a little too foolhardy to believe. The man still seemed so unobtainable, even though his behavior lately suggested otherwise. Perhaps, Smithers reasoned, for just one night, he could at least pretend that Burns wasn't so out of reach. Just for tonight, he was going to pretend that he actually had a chance with Burns just to see how things would go. That way, being that it was only pretend, maybe he wouldn't be crushed by the rejection that he feared would be awaiting him.

Finally, everyone had settled down to their tables for dinner. Fortunately, even though they hadn't arrived together, Smithers still got the seat next to Burns. There were many familiar faces at the banquet that night and since their table seated eight, they got to share the table mostly with people they already knew.

Smithers sat in between Stella and Burns. To Burns' left sat Lindsey. The remaining seats going clockwise were occupied by Mayor Quimby and his wife, the irritatingly beautiful, wavy-haired brunette that Burns had been drooling over earlier, then there was Aristotle Amadopolis.

Aristotle, or Ari as Mr. Burns called him, was a husky, gray-haired fellow and owner of the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant. He was a man that Burns seemed to have a friendly rivalry with. He had a distinctive foreign accent and never went anywhere without his sunglasses, apparently even on such a formal occasion.

Once everyone had ordered their food and drinks, Burns and Ari wasted no time starting up a conversation and everyone at the table seemed to be intrigued as the two men spoke in their usual boisterous manner.

"So Ari? I take it there are no hard feelings over that softball game?" Burns laughed boastfully. "After all, we creamed you're team during that last game!"

"Yes, I remember that day all to well. We will have to schedule a rematch sometime." Ari responded.

"Ah, no. After the way you sabotaged that last game? Injuring half of my team? Have you no shame?" Burns leaned forward in his seat a little as the conversation became a little heated. Ari leaned closer as well.

"So, you call me a cheat? Certainly it isn't you calling the kettle black!" he yelled, his accent coming through stronger until his speech was becoming harder to decipher.

"That I am dear Ari! That I am! However, I said nothing of your racial ethnicity." Burns replied arrogantly, a hint of playfulness in his voice as if trying to spark another lively disagreement from his old friend. Smithers still wasn't quite sure just how harmless the exchange was and quickly interjected.

"Gentlemen please! Now is not the time for harsh words." said Smithers, unknowingly placing his hand over Burns' hand on the table. His boss quickly jerked his hand away with a gasp.

"Pipe down Smithers! It's all the usual raucous, good-natured row of insults. It's always like that anytime a group of red-blooded men get together to converse." said Burns, avoiding meeting his eyes. "Then again, I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"Hey! I can sling insults just as easy as the next guy!" Smithers retorted, slightly hurt by Burns' comment. "That's a... um... that's an awfully hideous shirt you have there Ari." Smithers replied, knowing it was a pathetic excuse for an insult, thus only proving Burns' point.

"Smithers, just for that, you can say goodbye to your Christmas bonus this year." Burns yelled, fumbling around with his fork, presumably as an excuse to continue not looking towards Smithers.

"Sorry, sir." Smithers wasn't about to mention that Burns had already cut his Christmas bonus dozens of times since the year began already. Despite the lack of eye contact, it was moments like that, that made it seem like they had fallen back to the way they'd always been. It felt strangely comforting to hear Burns scolding him once again. Yet, Burns' sudden shyness and stumbling over his words was undeniably fun to watch as well. It made Smithers want to intentionally do more things just to provoke such a reaction.

He noticed that Lindsey was sitting only a few inches from Burns, yet he hadn't seen the two speak to each other at all since he'd arrived. He hadn't thought about Lindsey much lately and wondered just how Burns was going to handle Lindsey's lying. He hoped to have a talk with Burns about it later on when they found the time alone. He also wondered if Burns still had any romantic interest in her. The last time he had seen them together was when he walked into Burn's office and saw her sitting across his lap. He recalled Burns shocked reaction when he'd walked in on them. Burns had a look of panic as he shoved Lindsey out of his lap as if it were something that he didn't want him to see. Was he actually worried that Smithers would be jealous and hoped to spare his feelings? That wasn't really like him. Mr. Burns wasn't usually that conciderate.

Everyone at the table continued to talk about different things. Smithers on the other hand, was much more interested in droning everyone out and occupying himself in listening to Burns' voice. Watching his subtle movements that no one else payed attention to. Occasionally, Burns' foot would graze against his own and he began to wonder whether or not a few of those times were intentional. Burns kept chatting away, so Smithers assumed it all must have been accidental. Who's to say Smithers couldn't have a few of those accidents too? He daringly slid his foot closer until it came to rest against Mr. Burns foot. He didn't seem to take notice though as he and Mayor Quimby were in the middle of a discussion.

"Waylon? Are you alright?" said Stella in a low voice, startling him. "You've been awfully quiet this evening."

"Oh, ah... I'd rather let Mr. Burns do most of the talking." Smithers replied quietly. "I'm fine."

He didn't really want to draw any attention to himself. He certainly couldn't explain to everyone at the table that he was just so distracted with admiring his boss that he wasn't even acting like himself lately. He knew it was a little risky, but he still felt compelled to get some sort of reaction out of Burns.

"Well Mayor, I think that a positive stance on nuclear power would be a good... topic f-for-" Burns words caught in his throat as Smithers brushed against his foot again. Smithers tried his best to keep an innocent face as Burns looked over to him briefly, sending him a scolding look.

"What was that Mr. Burns?" Mayor Quimby asked.

"Hm? Oh, I-I was saying that... p-promoting nuclear energy... would be good for your next campaign." Burns managed to answer. Smithers did feel a little guilty for messing around with Burns like that, but this new power he had over his boss was almost addicting.

He decided to push his luck a little more, this time upping the ante and daring to inch his leg closer until it leaned firmly against Burn's leg. It was exciting, being in such a public place and actually taking such initiative that he'd never done before. He would have never had the courage before to flirt so blatantly with Burns, being afraid that it would give his secret away. Burns' face still had that slightly flushed redness across his cheeks that he'd had for the past couple of minutes. Mr. Burns coughed nervously, continuing to listen as the mayor spoke.

"I think it's about time that my conservative constituents and I take a stance against nuclear power." stated Mayor Quimby in his characteristic campaign voice. "No offense to you Mr. Burns, it's just that... my party needs to clean up our image. You understand?"

"Well might I remind you that I am one of those constituents." Burns exclaimed, no longer distracted by Smithers' game of footsy, "Without me, you would be nothing in this town Quimby! Might I remind you that it would cost this town even more money to switch over to an alternative power source? Nuclear power is just as safe as any other power source. Look at me, I've lived this long and I have suffered no ill effects from the constant exposure." said Burns.

"Constant exposure you say?" asked Quimby suspiciously. "Certainly you have safety standards at that plant of yours right? I've been studying up on this... nuclial power stuff and even I know that constant exposure to radiation and nuclear waste is harmful. Why, Lindsey was just telling me the other day about that-

"Oh! They don't want to hear about that Mayor!" Lindsey interjected, grabbing onto Quimby's arm.

Smithers had been vaguely paying attention to the conversation, but Lindsey's sudden interruption really caught his attention.

"So I take it that you no longer glow in the dark then Mr. Burns?" the Mayor asked.

"Oh, ah... That was just a one time thing!" Burns defended.

Why was Mayor Quimby suddenly taking such an anti-nuclear stance? Burns had always had Mayor Quimby right in the palm of his hand since he was the man's highest paying campaign contributor. Lindsey was being awfully suspicious and he was sure that she had something to do with it. Suddenly, the gorgeous brunette that Smithers now knew to be named Kendra, spoke up.

"I'm sure that if Monty says he no longer glows in the dark, then he must be telling the truth. If you want, I can spend the night with him to verify that!" she announced, resting her elbows on the table, gazing at Burns admiringly. Smithers almost felt like slamming his head against the table just out of the absurd number of women that seemed to latch onto Burns constantly. Smithers stood up from his seat, his irritation and possessiveness over Mr. Burns reaching it's peak.

"Mr. Burns isn't radio-active nor does he glow in the dark! -And he doesn't need anyone but me spending the night with him to verify that!" Smithers yelled, his voice unintentionally echoed across the banquet hall, garnering him quite a few peculiar looks. Mr. Burns sank a little lower in his seat at Smithers' outburst and held a hand to his forehead, trying to hide his face from all the curious on-lookers.

"Smithers, Sit!" Burns whispered harshly as he waved his hand at Smithers, motioning for him to sit down.

Smithers looked around the room embarrassingly before sitting down without saying a word. He could hear muffled giggling coming from Stella next to him. She had a hand over her mouth in an effort to hide her laughter, but it was to no avail. She finally was unable to control it any longer and let out a cackle, leaning over the table and slapping Smithers on the shoulder. He looked at her in disbelief! He'd always seen her as a such a kind, supportive friend and there she was laughing her ass off at his expense. Finally she caught her breath and managed to say something.

"Oh, I'm sorry Waylon! I... really am!" Stella said, still giggling as she spoke. She leaned against him for support. "It's just... I can' t help it! Way to defend you're boss's virtue!" Stella cackled and slammed her hand onto the table a couple of times as she tried to catch her breath.

"Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it sir." Smithers apologized. He scratched his head nervously as all eyes were on him. "I... I guess I'm just letting the stress get to me. Excuse me." he replied as embarrassment consumed him. He then stood up from his seat and excused himself from the table, walking off to the men's restroom without looking back.

- o - o - o -

_"He doesn't need anyone but me spending the night with him to verify that!"_

The comment had actually made Burns sink lower into his seat as he braced for everyone's reaction to the ambiguous statement. If anyone did pick up on what Smithers had implyed, they certainly didn't show it. Other than a few wide-eyed stares directed his way, everone remained silent for a bit after Smithers left.

Smithers' comment had come as a wake-up call to Mr. Burns. Even before he knew the real depth of Smithers' love, he'd always gotten the sense that Smithers was jealous whenever he'd so much as mention a woman he was romantically interested in. Smithers had really flipped out over it this time and Burns hadn't even said a word to provoke it. Kendra was the one that had been flirting with him. Smithers must have been pretty fed-up with it all to act like that.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my! I didn't know he was going to react like that! I hate myself right now! I'm so sorry Mr. Burns!" Stella exclaimed, holding her hands up to the sides of her face.

"Why would you apologize to me?" Burns asked. "Smithers is the one acting like an idiot!"

"Oh, don't say that! He just seems a little depressed lately. You should be careful what you say to him!" Stella warned. Smithers' mood often seemed to yo-yo between the extremes of emotion so normally Burns ignored any signs of emotion he displayed. He'd seen Smithers depressed many times before so it was probably nothing.

"Depressed?" Burns asked, trying his best to keep the concern from his voice.

"Uh... We can talk about it later? You know, in private?" she responded. The way Stella said it made it seem like this wasn't simply one of Smithers' usual mood swings. He hadn't even noticed anything out of the ordinary. Though, nothing was ordinary between him and his assistant anymore. He supposed Stella was right; it would be best not to discuss his assistants' personal problems in front of everyone at the table. Smithers would surely be alright once he had a little time alone like always whenever he overreacted.

"Well, enough about that." said Stella. "I think the auction is about to begin! It should be exciting! The money is all going to charity and I'm auctioning off myself! See you guys later!" Stella quickly got out of her seat and left.

"What? How could she sell herself like that?" asked Burns, appalled as he pictured some sordid prostitution ring, all in the name of charity.

"I think Monty, she means she's auctioning herself off to a date with the highest bidder." answered Martha Quimby from across the table.

"Oh, well... whatever. There is only one thing that interests me in the auction. They have an antique clock from the early nineteenth century that I just have to get my hands on!" said Burns cheerfully.

"No way Burns. I'm getting that clock for myself!" yelled Ari.

"Oh? Well we'll just see about that Ari old pal!" Burns challenged. Ari's date Kendra sighed and unexpectidly stood up from her seat, everyone at the tabled looked on curiously.

"Well, if you two are going to spend the rest of the night arguing and keeping each other entertained, then I think I'll just call it a night! I'm leaving!" Kendra yelled.

"But honey wait!" Ari called, but she was already heading towards the exit. Ari turned to Burns.

"You see what you made her do?" Ari asked. "Why don't you just leave my girl alone and go off with that assistant of yours, he certainly seems more than willing to do whatever it is you want!"

Burns was too emotionally drained to even dignify that claim with a response as he pressed the pressure point at the sides of his forehead to ward off the impending headache. In the past, Burns knew that he and Aristotle would have been fighting all night over Kendra, after all she did seem interested in both of them even though she had been Ari's date. Burns felt like something had changed. It wasn't that he was suddenly attracted to men or anything like that, he just had this strange feeling that it would be wrong to pursue any relationship. If he didn't know any better, it almost felt like his heart was left on hold until he figured out how to handle Smithers.

He just wasn't accustomed to caring about someone. He was used to feeling indifferent towards others' needs and affections and only a few rare times in his life had he actually felt love, or what he guessed was love. He supposed if he didn't figure out what to do soon, then his heart might just be on hold forever.

Burns noticed that Quimby's wife had been eying Lindsey suspiciously for most of the night, likely annoyed that she seemed so friendly with her husband, often joking around and laughing together as the evening passed. Lindsey was turning out to be a real expert at aligning herself with men of great wealth just to get her way.

The auctioneer guy was already on stage and the M.C. handed him the microphone. The auction began with a couple of lame celebrity items, most likely snatched from the celebs' trash cans. Then there were a couple of free golf passes and a few crappy paintings that Burns wouldn't dream of bringing into his house. The whole thing was becoming a bore and he still hadn't seen the clock he'd wanted to bid on yet.

He and Ari began talking again as the auction continued on, this time over the many trials and tribulations of running a nuclear power plant. Burns was at least thankful that everyone seemed to have moved on from Smithers' embarrassing incident and that Aristotle was still willing to speak to him.

"It really is hard to keep the city's power running constantly." Burns sighed. "The very life blood that keeps the whole hackneyed town running. The huddled masses, holding out their worn, calloused hands to me for sustenance. And it all rests on my shoulders... it's all very draining. At least I have a comfy chair in my office and an assistant ready and willing to tend to all of my needs."

"Yeah, woe is you Monty. Meanwhile, I have over five hundred ungrateful workers all just begging for a hand out! I give them ten minutes of meditation time in the morning and a new water-cooler to stand next to and chat, but are they satisfied? Noooo!" yelled Aristotle, slamming his fist against the table.

"Yoo-hoo, Monty!" Stella called suddenly as she once again joined them at the table. "They're bidding on the antique clock you wanted! You'd better bid quick!" Burns quickly jumped up from his seat, hand raised.

"Ooh! I bid five grand!" he yells to the auctioneer. Gasps could be heard from the crowd. Burns looks around, wondering why anyone would be surprised that he would spend such money on a clock. It wasn't like it was out of character for him.

"F-Five thousand? Wow! Anyone want to up the bid?" asks the auctioneer. The crowd breaks out into a frenzy of cheers and whistles. Cheers of, "Woohoo!" and "Way to go Burns!" along with a few cat calls that had the old man puzzled. What was even more perplexing was the fact that Smithers was on stage and looked as if he were being pushed up there against his will, some guy was actually holding onto his arm to keep him up there.

"Eh, why is Smithers on stage?" Burns asked. "Is he threatening other bidders so I'll get the winning bid?"

"Uh, yeah! Either that or... you just bought him." Stella responded flatly, a mischievous grin across her face.

"Bought him?" Burns asked, his eyes wide with shock. "What is this-? There must be some mistake!"

Mr. Burns stood up and tried to protest to the crowd, but it was too late; his voice was lost to the sounds of cheers erupting from the room. The damage was already done. Burns locked eyes with his assistant from way across the room. Smithers had finally stopped struggling with the guy that was keeping him on stage and was staring directly at Burns, apparently as stunned as he was by the turn of events. With the way the crowd was carrying on, one would think that his strange relationship with Smithers' was one of Springfield's worst kept secrets. Mr. Burns felt like it wouldn't be such a bad idea if the ground suddenly opened up and swallowed him whole.

"It's about time Burns!" yelled some lady in the crowd to whom he ignored.

* * *

**A.N. - Just so there isn't any confusion and because I know that some people out there have OCD like I do and just have to know the details, here is the seating order at the table they all sat around: Smithers, Burns, Lindsey, Mayor Quimby, Martha Quimby, Kendra (a.k.a gorgeous brunette), Aristotle and then Stella.**

**Up Next: Dancing, drama, humor, fluff and maybe one more chapter of Baines' and Wallace's story. If I make it a long chapter, maybe I can fit in what happens when our favorite power plant owner and his assistant find some alone time on the balcony.**

**Oh! One more thing, I posted a new picture of Burns and Waylon at the banquet on my DeviantART page, check my profile for the link if you like fanart.**


	23. The Night is Young

**Chapter Twenty Three: The Night is Young**

Burns was on fire! He didn't know whether he was more angry or embarrassed by having just bought his assistant in front of everyone. Friends, business associates and regular, everyday citizens that he had tormented for decades, all played witness to what he then felt was his darkest hour. Perhaps someday he would look back at the situation and laugh, but for now and for the next couple of weeks, he just knew he would be the talk of the town.

His best option would be to end the situation promptly. Burns marched up to the stage with a look of anger on his face that could scare the devil himself and claimed his prize, grabbing Smithers by the wrist. He led Smithers past the crowd which had quieted down considerably as they watched the two exit the door at the back of the room.

The door led out to a balcony overlooking a beautiful rose garden enclosed within high stone walls. Burns finally released Smithers' wrist and stepped over to the edge of the balcony, placing his hands on the white railings. He looked out over the courtyard, keeping his back to Smithers as if he couldn't bare to even face him anymore. He could sense Smithers approaching from behind.

"Smithers! What is the meaning of this? You've just made me the laughing stock of Springfield!"

"This is Shelbyville sir."

"I don't give a damn if it's Whoville! I can't believe you would embarrass me like that!"

"I didn't do it sir! Some tough, muscle-bound bruiser yanked me up onto the stage! I would never try to embarrass you like that! You've got to believe me!" Smithers pleaded. Burns finally turned around to face him. It was then that he noticed that Smithers held his glasses in his hand, distractedly wiping some of the smudges off with his sleeve.

"Smithers, I don't know what is going on here tonight, but I certainly didn't plan any of this."

"Then why did you, uh, buy me?" he asked.

"I DIDN'T B-!" Burns did his best to reign in some of his anger, speaking softer. "I didn't buy you. It was all a mistake. I thought I was bidding on something else." he admitted, his eyesight wandering away from Smithers to some spot to the left of him.

"Oh." Smithers replied. The disappointment in his assistant's voice tugged his heartstrings and made him even more irritated at him for making him feel.

"Smithers, I forbid you to sound disappointed! I just can't take anymore of that pitiful, love-sick attitude!" Burns yelled. It was a truthful statement, but Smithers didn't have to know what extent it actually affected him.

"Well how do you expect me to act?" Smithers asked. "I can't stop loving you no matter how much you wish I didn't! And... I know that I can't make you love me... n-no matter how much I... wish you did."

Burns looked away at the mention of the word love. It was like it had set off an alarm in him, especially since it was Smithers that had used such a loaded word.

"Yes, but do you have to look so pitiful about it?" snapped Burns, "It's hard enough dealing with everything without you constantly looking at me with that glazed-over, forlorn look!"

"So you have been struggling with your feelings about me?" Smithers asked, taking a step closer. Burns still avoided his eyes but he could sense Smithers watching him intently, waiting for a response. He just knew if he looked into those eyes that something he wasn't ready for might happen.

"Hmph, don't be so pretentious! I didn't mean feelings about you, you cretin!" Mr. Burns took a step back until he felt the railing of the balcony blocking him from backing up any further. He couldn't hide the annoyance from his voice. He closed his eyes, his head hung shamefully, finally acknowledging that everything had been affecting him. "I meant to say that I was struggling over this whole messed up situation! I can't get anything productive done anymore! I can't even sleep without it creeping into my thoughts like an unwanted virus!" yelled Burns as he finally looked up to meet Smithers' gaze.

"Wow, you make it all sound awfully romantic sir." Smithers had a small grin that crept onto is face; his eyes were incredibly distracting without his glasses; he didn't look like himself and it was irritating, yet his eyes still had this strange affect that made him not want to look away as if under some spell. Why hadn't this happened before? In all the years he'd known Waylon Smithers, why hadn't he felt this same degree of magnetism that he felt now? Something must have changed. Burns once again found himself speechless and left with a strange feeling in his stomach that felt almost like a mix between nausea and elation. Was that the famous 'butterflies-in-the-stomach' feeling? Burns sighed as he tried to shake it off, trying to ignore the close proximity they shared.

"Smithers, I am your boss and you're my employee and that's the way is is going to be! You are just going to have to suck it up and live with it!" Smithers was already standing so close that it was really a matter of a couple of inches between them and Burns couldn't back any further against the railing. By that time, Burns was eager for Smithers to hurry up and put his glasses back on, maybe then he would be much less intoxicating and certainly less distracting. He reached for the glasses in Smithers' hand and placed them carefully back to where they belonged, completing his mental image of what Smithers was supposed to look like.

"Admit it sir, you didn't want anyone else to have me. That's why you bought me."

"N-now hold on Smithers! I didn't say that! I was hoodwinked! I-I wanted... I wanted to... I thought I was bidding on that antique clock!"

"Well you've got _me_ now. What do you want to do?" Smithers asked impishly. Unfortunately, even with his glasses on, he was still taken in by those eyes that now stared back at him with a look of intrigue and desire bubbling just below the surface.

"Wha-? Smithers, one more remark like that and I swear I'll-"

"You'll what?" Smithers reached his arms around Mr. Burns, his hands coming to rest on the balcony railings behind him on either side, effectively entrapping him. This definitely wasn't the meek assistant that he was accustomed to. Burns swallowed.

"Now you know as well as I do what an important asset you are to me... perhaps even as a friend... a close friend..." Burns admitted, his voice cracking. "if-if I were... to be completely honest..." his speech slowed as Smithers starred him in the eyes. He just knew Smithers was going to try to kiss him and he felt terrified and eager all at the same time. Smithers unconsciously licked his lips before leaning in closer to him. He knew that he should look around to see if they were alone, though he couldn't drag his eyes away.

"W-what are you... d-doing?" Burns asked. The question caused Smithers to pause, an eyebrow lifting questioningly as if waiting for Burns to reject him. Given a moment to think about it, Burns did feel the urge to back out of it, but Smithers didn't give him the opportunity.

The next instant, all he could comprehend was his assistant's mouth pressed against his. He felt the same bundle of nerves rushing to the surface as he did when he'd kissed him earlier. The same rush that left him trembling from excitement. It all came flooding back, this time without the added pressure and embarrassment from being the one that initiated it. It was all Smithers' responsibility; if there were any awkwardness later on, he could always lay the blame on him.

Yes, Smithers could take on all the blame; he was fine with that. All he cared about in that instant was feeling more of that touch. More of those hands that slowly crept along the small of his back. He could go limp in those arms. It felt like it was all happening too fast. Smithers' lips were moving on his, becoming hotter and wetter and he wasn't quite sure when he gave himself over to this, but he didn't want to stop.

Mr. Burns started feeling those pesky warnings going off in his mind again, like an alarm alerting him to stop. He felt a sudden fleeting fear that Smithers might discover that he liked what they were doing. Well that much was obvious considering the fact that he had let it continue this far. There was no more pretending; no more excuses would work from that moment on. It wasn't until Smithers licked lightly across his lip before Burns suddenly gasped as he remembered that he still had to breathe, giving Smithers the chance to gain entrance.

Even when they'd kissed before, it had never gone this far. Smithers' tongue moved against his, almost daring his participation. When Burns did reciprocated the action, he felt Smithers tense up, making the same little desperate whining sound he'd made earlier. This in turn caused Burns to feel a new flood of confidence as he had this new control over his assistant, even more so than simply being his boss.

All too soon, it was actually Smithers who pulled away first. He stood there, brushing his fingers across his mouth where Burns' lips had been. Burns felt his face grow hot at the sight of Smithers standing there in such disarray. He hadn't even remembered running his fingers through Smithers' hair, yet he must have since it was no longer so neatly styled as it had been.

Smithers finally looked at him quizzically, his eyes wide. Burns started to worry; he hadn't planned on what to do afterward. It wasn't like he had the time anyway since it had happened so suddenly.

"So... that was..."Smithers mumbled. Burns remained stunned, his mind quickly speeding from one excuse to another. He wondered what Smithers possibly thought of him now.

_'Damn, why doesn't he say something!' _Burns thought. Time seemed to be going agonizingly slow.

"Um, I think i-if I died this very minute, I'd die happy." Smithers said breathlessly, his voice rather calm considering how frazzled Burns felt right then.

_'Ah, God Smithers! Why do you have to ruin everything with sappy lines like that!'_ Burns wanted to say, but kept it to himself.

"Let's just go back inside. I don't need to hear any more of this." Burns replied, keeping his head low to avoid Smithers as he passed by him.

All the years that Smithers had wanted to kiss him like that, he could feel it. He could almost sense it in the intensity, the passion with which Smithers kissed him. He could only imagine what decades of pent up sexual frustration could drive one to; of what decades of unrequited love could do to a man. Burns himself had never even been in love for more than a week or two so that much was something that was beyond his experience.

To actually dismiss preconceived notions and fears and to allow himself to feel this bond with someone, regardless of gender was more than a little disorienting. Especially since this someone was Smithers, someone he'd know since infancy and the fact that certain anatomy didn't conform with his normal views of attractiveness. Personality wise however, Smithers' eager-to-please personality meshed well with his. None the less, he knew that he had just complicated things to a level of chaos that they would never be able to return from.

- o - o - o -

Countless stars shown overhead that night as Smithers stood there alone on the balcony, awestruck after Burns had departed. His adrenaline level was still insanely high as he looked down to his hands which were still trembling. His pants also felt unbelievably constricting from the intensity of the intimate encounter only moments earlier.

Smithers didn't know what had possessed him; he had been so confident and so unlike himself. The whole night had felt like that from the moment he'd caught up with Burns when he'd first arrived and it wasn't just the fancy clothes or the festive atmosphere or even the hot summer air. This was something real that had been heating up between them for a while now and the past couple of days seemed like one amazing blur of sexual tension that had been a long time coming. It wasn't every day that he got a chance to live out a fantasy he'd had for years that always seemed so far out of reach.

Once he'd calmed himself down reasonably enough, he returned to the party, noting that the auction was all over and many of the guests were already dancing. Burns, of course, was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

**A. N. - Don't worry, Burns hasn't bailed on him, he just had to get away from it all for a little bit. He'll be back. I'm kind of shocked myself that someone didn't barge in on them while they were in the lip-lock. ;) Normally that's what usually occurs on TV.**

**As always, I posted while half asleep so I'll try to catch the spelling errors tomorrow. It surprises me that even after reading thoroughly, they manage to slip in somehow. So sorry that I couldn't fit in everything that was promised. It will definitely be part of the next chapter.  
**

**To Be Continued.**


	24. Trouble In Paradise

**Chapter Twenty Four: Trouble in Paradise**

It surprised him the actual number of times that he had kissed Smithers recently. It was like it was starting to become a habit for the two of them. The whole thing was a little unbelievable for Burns as he found his way to the hotel restroom. He entered one of the stalls, clicking the lock behind him. He used the toilet as a makeshift chair, sitting down, his head resting in his hands as the real magnitude of everything began to sink in.

His mind was still reeling over the encounter with Smithers out on the balcony a moment ago and he had barely even come down from the clouds yet. The slow rhythm of saxophone and piano music could be heard in the distance coming from the banquet hall, adding it's own subtle hint of dream-like surrealism to the atmosphere.

He was too old for this; too old for getting so worked up over a simple kiss like a schoolboy. Then again, there was nothing simple about that kiss. Before, it had seemed maybe a little more experimental than anything, as if testing the waters. This time it was much more real, more physical. He knew how these things went; he was no rookie when it came to the game of love and whenever two people felt such sparks between them, things would only escalate from there.

That Smithers could make him feel this way was the last thing he'd ever expected. It was the kind of feeling you wanted more of and just the thought of finding another moment alone like that with him was both exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Sure, he could tease him, perhaps even lead him on a little just for kicks, but nothing was ever supposed to come of it. It wasn't a game anymore; it was becoming all too real.

Smithers was out there right now most likely wondering where he'd ran off to. Every time, whenever things started heating up with Smithers, he always dreaded facing him afterwards. He supposed that most of his hesitation was due to the fact that this was Smithers and he'd always had this set view of his assistant that he'd cultivated over the years that was just so hard to shake.

Burns finally stood up and exited the stall. It was only a matter of time before Smithers would come looking for him anyway, since he rarely let Burns leave his sight. He felt a little angry that he'd even allowed Smithers to make him feel so flustered in the first place. He was C. Montgomery Burns and Smithers was supposed to be there to make his life easier, not more complicated. One thing was for certain, he was determined not to let himself dwell on it all night. He was there to rub elbows with other big-wheel business moguls like himself; he would just have to work everything out with Smithers later.

He exited the restroom and went down the hall that led to the ballroom. He stood in the doorway and it didn't take him long to spot Smithers. It never did take him very long to find him in a crowd. He was surprisingly out on the dance floor dancing with a girl. He watched a moment and soon came to recognize the girl was Stella, the one that was always prying into his business and seemed to take it as her obligation to hook him up with Smithers. Burns scowled, he just knew that Smithers was probably over there sharing every little detail of their encounter and they were probably giggling over it that very moment. Hopefully Smithers would show a little discretion and respect him enough to keep some things private.

Burns entered the room, spotting a woman that stood off to the side of the dance floor. She had black curly hair and wore glasses. She was average looking, certainly not unattractive but she seemed to be a wallflower if he'd ever seen one. He just needed someone, anyone to dance with so he could get out there on the dance floor inconspicuously to spy on Smithers. Maybe he would even be able to hear what they were chatting so animatedly about. Mr. Burns approached the girl.

"Hello there young lass. The both of us seem awfully lonely, how about doing an old man a favor by honoring me with a dance?" said Burns taking her hand.

"What? M-me? You want to... dance with me?" she asked meekly.

"Why of course. Just one dance is all I ask."

"Well, I-I don't know. My sister dragged me out here. I'm... I don't really like dancing." she muttered. Burns let go of her hand and looked away, searching for just the right words to explain his delicate situation.

"Well, you see... my- the one I... love is out there dancing with another. I just want to get a little closer so I can hear if they're gossiping about me." Burns said, confident that he hadn't revealed too much information.

"Oh, you mean Mr. Smithers?" she replied bluntly. Burns eyes grew wide.

"What? Shh- quiet you!" Burns scolded before quickly correcting himself. "Uh... I mean, why would you think it's Smithers?" he laughed.

"I'm s-sorry! I just assumed..."

"Look, are you with me or not?" Burns asked stoically.

"Well, if it's in the name of love... then I guess-"

"Excellent. Let's go then shall we?"

Burns took her hand again and the two stepped out amongst the crowd, the same slow, dreamy saxophone music still playing. He looked across the room to Smithers who was still a bit out of earshot for him to hear. Slowly, he led his random dance partner ever closer, stepping in tune to the melody. Finally he was near enough to his target to hear their voices while still remaining hidden from view behind some big fat guy dancing.

"I for one, am glad that Lindsey was fired." said Stella, "She seemed so nice when I first met her."

"Yeah." Smithers replied dispassionately. It was a relief to Burns that the topic wasn't centered on himself.

"But I'm sure it will be very easy for her to find another job, especially with her qualifications." Stella continued.

"Mm hmm." said Smithers.

"Babe, something is going on with you. You've got that distracted, lovestruck look. Did something happen out there with you-know-who?" Stella asked. Burns strained his ears to hear over the music as their voices suddenly became barely audible. His heart was racing! Certainly they wouldn't talk about it here in public where anyone might be listening!

"Hmm, what?" Smithers finally asked.

"Hello! Ground patrol to Waylon!" she said, Burns could occasionally see around the fat man and was glad that Smithers was so distracted that he hadn't noticed him listening yet.

"I'm fine, what were you saying?" Smithers asked.

"Something happened out there and I want full details! Dish it!"

"Come on Stella! This isn't some matchmaking game show! Besides, I'm not one to kiss and tell." Smithers responded. Burns silently thanked Smithers for being so tight-lipped about it.

"So you did kiss him! Ooh, it's like it's right out of a romance novel! I really envy you ya know!"

"You're having more fun with this than I am aren't you?" Smithers laughed.

"Ha! I doubt it! My life is depressing. Yours is so much more fun! I live through the excitement of others! Now tell me, how did it start! You threw him up against the wall and really laid one on him am I right?" she asked. Burns listened with bated breath.

"Ah, no. Not exactly. If I would have thrown him against the wall, I'm sure he would have broken a rib or two. After a long pause Smithers leaned closer to her, Burns just could make out the words. "I did hem him up against the railing though."

Burns sighed. He only hoped it would end there. He was going to give Smithers a good talking to when they got home!

"Eek! Then what?" asked Stella excitedly.

Smithers leaned closer to her, whispering something that was indecipherable. Burns was mortified and beyond angry. He was seething with rage that Smithers would go and blab everything. His feelings regarding Smithers were so new that he certainly didn't want anyone else privy to it before he had a chance to come to terms with it himself. Burns couldn't hear the rest of the conversation no matter how hard he tried and that angered him even more. At least he was fairly certain no one else could hear it either.

- o - o - o -

"Do you really have to know every detail?" he asked, knowing he'd probably told more that he should have.

"Yes." she replied. Smithers sighed.

"Heh heh, sorry! That is a tale for another day! I'm sure you-know-who would be mortified if he knew what we were talking about."

"So... did you slip him the tongue?" she whispered. Smithers felt his face suddenly becoming hot and flushed. Stella was definitely having too much fun with all of this!

"Stella!" Smithers wailed.

"Sorry! It was just a question!" A few people nearby stopped dancing to stare at the sudden outburst. "What you people lookin' at? Just what do you think you're lookin' at dumbo?" Stella yelled to some guy with big ears that had been staring. The song finally came to an end and everyone's attention was averted to the host that stepped onto the stage with the mike.

"Alright! I hope everyone is having a great time tonight! Now that I have your attention... Tonight is a magical night, the stars are bright, the night air crisp with the potential of new love!

"Oh! This is getting exciting?" Stella exclaimed. Smithers stood listening, mildly interested in what the guy on stage was rambling on about even though he was begining to become irritating with his over exuberant love speech.

"This next song is dedicated to all the singles out here tonight. Every time the neon strobe lights change to red, every has to switch partners. That way you get a chance to meet the potential love of your life that you would have never given the time-o-day otherwise! It's all in good fun even if you're not looking for love! If you do happen to hit it off with someone then keep dancing, if not? Switch and trade 'em in for another! How's that for convenient? So how about we get this party started?" announced the emcee enthusiastically. The familiar, up-beat tune of Paula Abdul's song "Opposites Attract" began to fill the banquet hall. A definitive change of pace from the last couple of Frank Sinatra hits that had been played. It was surprising how strangely appropriate the song choice fit he and Mr. Burns.

"Unbelievable. This is just beyond ridiculous if you ask me." said a familiar voice from nearby.

"Mr. Burns! When did you get here?" Smithers asked, startled that his beloved had finally decided to show himself and stood a mere three feet away at that! Smithers watched as Burns repositioned his white hat atop his head and that was when he spotted a girl standing next to his boss; his old familiar twinge of jealousy returned.

"Smithers." Burns greeted coldly.

"I-I see you've found a new uh... friend?" Smithers asked, unable to keep his jealously from seeping through in his voice.

"Ah yes. This is uh... Sarah! Yeah that's right." Burns replied unconvincingly. "We really hit it off right from the start."

In all likelihood, Mr. Burns just found this girl for the sole purpose of making him jealous. Did Burns seriously feel like playing these childish games after everything that had happened? Still, there was room for doubt. Maybe Burns really did like the girl?

"Oh? You mean you're willing to..." Smithers swallowed, "forget what happened? You're going to just find someone else and forget all about that... thing that happened earlier?"

"Yes! That's right Smithers! Now I suggest you leave me be and go back to you're little gossipy friend! And don't expect me to _entertain_ you any further tonight." Burns spat the words hostilely. The way he emphasized the word _entertain_made Smithers wonder what he had really implied. Did he just imply that he was planning on _entertaining_ him further that night until, for one reason or another, he changed his mind?

Burns was as mad about something, that much was certain! Maybe he was simply embarrassed about the kiss earlier? That wouldn't have gotten him so riled up would it? All these thoughts ran through his head, confusing him even more.

"Wait! What is this all about sir?" Smithers asked, but it was too late as Burns had already turned to leave with his new girl tagging along behind..

"What's his problem?" asked Stella?

"I-I don't know." Smithers said pensively, "I guess I did something to make him angry. It doesn't take much really."

"Yeah, he's definitely pissed about something!" Stella added as they watched Burns dissapear amongst the crowd.

- o - o - o -

Burns and the girl had barely made it to the other side of the room before the strobe light's flashed; luminous red patterns of light painted the room and dance partners began to switch randomly. He spotted Stella now dancing along with Lindsey, it was an amusing sight really. Probably not what the nosy little brunette had in mind when the game started.

Burns danced with yet another random person and had somehow gotten closer to Smithers' side of the room, noting that his assistant had somehow been paired up with a man. The two hadn't begun to dance yet and Smithers looked a little embarrassed. The pudgy fellow looked vaguely like one of his random employees at the plant. Smithers smiled politely at his new dance partner and scratched the back of his neck nervously. The guy shrugged as if he'd finally decided that he didn't really care who his partner was and he started to dance anyway. Smithers seemed amused by this and stood watching as a woman with tall blue hair sauntered up and grabbed the fat guy by the ear, and dragged him away with a growl of disapproval.

All of this switching partners was a little too much sensual-overload for Burns and the whole thing was starting to make him even more irritated. He was just about ready to give up and call it a night. It wasn't until several dance partners later that Burns suddenly found himself face to face with the object of his irritation. Smithers stumbled up to him, reaching out to Burns' shoulder to steady himself almost knocking him over in the process.

"Mr. Burns! I'm... I'm sorry! I uh..."

"What do you want?" asked Burns, his arms crossed defensively.

"Um, I don't suppose you'd consider dancing with me?" Smithers asked pitifully.

"Why should I? Even if I wanted to... there's so many people here. No need to make a spectacle of myself like that."

"Come on, men have been dancing together all night. Especially since this crazy dancing game has everyone so mixed up. It's really no big deal. " Smithers assured him. He had to admit, Smithers argument was rather convincing, but he couldn't allow himself to be influenced. "Lenny and Carl over there have been dancing the whole time and no one even cares. Look around." Smithers said. It was then that the song suddenly faded away and switched to yet another classic rock song which Burns considered to be a bunch of loud noise with a heavy drum beat. Highly inappropriate for a charity event in Burns' opinion.

"Yes, well..." Burns hesitated as Smithers took his hand. He looked around and Smithers was right, no one really was paying them any attention anyway. Everyone seemed so preoccupied within their own little social circles.

"We could use it as an excuse to talk if you like." Smithers suggested.

"There is nothing to talk about." Burns barked.

"Sure there is. I have been curious to know how you happened across my story." said Smithers. Burns heart did a little flip. He hadn't expected Smithers to jump right into the topic like that.

"Smithers, not here. Wait 'till we're alone." said Burn, trying awkwardly to find a place to rest his free hand while they danced slowly, despite the quick beat of the music. Burns finally settled his hand down to Smithers hip.

"Oh, I see. You want to get me alone!" Smithers responded slyly. Burns quickly pulled his hands away and distanced himself.

"Dammit Smithers! Can't you get you're mind out of the gutter for one minute?" Burns snapped. The irritating lyrics to the hard rock song finally sent him past his braking point. "I've had about enough of this deplorable song! Why the hell would someone sing about having sugar poured all over themselves?" Burns yelled. Smithers laughed so hard he could barely catch his breath.

"It's from Def Leppard sir" Smithers replied between his bouts of laughter. Burns didn't think it was all that funny.

"How do you dance to something like that?" Burns asked.

"Does it really matter? Just holding you close is enough." said Smithers. Hearing things like that coming from his assistant still sounded so strange and it had left him at a loss for words and a little weak in the knees for a second. His first line of defense was always anger! Smithers should have known that by now!

"Smithers, I've had it! First of all, all of these off-handed lovey-dovey comments!" Burns yelled. "Then there was the- the thing..." he muttered, referring to their little moment together earlier.

"Sir, are you still mad about uh... you know... that thing?" Smithers asked. "You know, the thing that happened out on the balcony."

"Ah yes! You mean that thing that you felt you could blab to the whole world?" asked Burns his voice now laden with contempt.

"But I didn't-" Smithers pleaded.

"Don't lie!" Burns interjected a little louder than he'd meant to. He lowered his tone, "I saw you whispering with your little friend a while ago!"

"Sir, I didn't tell her anything important! In fact I told her that she wouldn't get any details out of me!"

"It doesn't matter. I've had about enough of you for one day. My time is valuable and I can't afford to waste it on you." As soon as the words escaped his lips, he'd instantly regretted them! He had meant to say worrying about him so much was a waste of time!

Burns was simply too tired of fighting and keeping everything bottled up inside that he had slipped up his words again! He surely didn't see spending time with Smithers as a waste! Smithers was used to such insults by now wasn't he? However, with a subtle gasp from his assistant, he knew the real impact of his poorly chosen words.

"S-sir... I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm such a waste of your time!" Smithers uttered, his voice broken up with emotion before turning and leaving Burns alone amongst the crowd of people finally winding down as the pumped-up rock music came to an end. It was then, that the song, _'Love Hurts'_ began to play as if right on time, making Smithers' second dramatic departure of the night seem even more poignant.

* * *

**A.N. - Eeek! It looks like trouble in paradise for our boys this time around. Hopefully just a minor setback. Neither of them seem to be able to stay in the same room together for long without one of them headin' for the hills! I wonder what will happen next? Thanks for being so patient and sorry for waiting so long to post chapters. Christmas, life, sick relatives and my aunt's funeral has had me distracted.**

**On a lighter note...**

**Coming up: Burns remembers something Stella said about Smithers being depressed lately. He didn't really believe that his assistant was depressed, especially since he and Burns have had so many stolen moments alone together recently. If anything Smithers should be elated. However, upon reading another chapter of _Bloodlust_, Burns begins to have second thoughts. Maybe Smithers is really depressed? And Burns had just gotten through telling the man that he was a waste of time? He must be like a ticking time-bomb waiting to go off!**

**Sorry Tourmaline! I feel your frustration! (and everyone elses!) XD Burns can't hold out much longer... This troublesome thing known as a plot stands in their way. XXD Hope it's worth it in the end! And Burns was about to give in to Smithers too until he heard him gossiping! Such a pity.**

**Hope everyone had a good holiday!**

**To be continued...!**


	25. Is this the End?

**Chapter Twenty Five: Is This the End?**

"_My time is valuable and I can't afford to waste it on you."_

Those eyes, through glass spectacles he could see such a sad love, such hurt, a heart that seemed as brittle as glass. If only it wasn't so damn breakable. Long gone were the days when he could sling insults at his assistant without a second thought. It was a much simpler time and he was going to miss that. It was one of the main reasons he'd kept Smithers around for so long and he'd always thought that he liked such degradation. No one in their right mind would stick around for that for so long without having at least a little masochistic side to them.

He was sure that Smithers had a tougher skin than that! Burns had said much worse things over the years and Smithers decided that now was the time that he was actually going to take him seriously? Mr. Burns was tired of dancing and he was tired of being at that stupid banquet. He had been sitting out in the courtyard on the beige, stone seating near the fountain with the large koi statue. The neatly trimmed hedges and the many red and white roses with their vines weaved along the stone was very calming in contrast to the chaos inside the building with the banquet still in full swing.

The last week had felt like it had stretched out into a year and no matter how much he tried to pretend that he didn't have a heart, he had somehow let Smithers slip by his defenses and claim it for his own. He couldn't rightly say that he was in love with Smithers. People that were in love would most certainly feel at least a few of the classic symptoms like a rapid heartbeat, flushed cheeks, butterflies in the stomach and stumbling over their own words all while in the presence of their love. All of which, Burns had around Smithers as of late.

"Hey there Monty! What are you doing out here?" It was Stella. She had sneaked up out of nowhere, startling him.

"I could ask the same of you." he replied.

"You don't look like you're having much fun tonight. Waylon always talks about how good you are at dancing. I was hoping you'd put on a good show tonight." She said, standing there in her flashy, shimmering red dress, her hands clasped behind her back.

"What else have you two been gossiping about hmm? Whether I wear boxers or briefs? I'm sure he's told you all about my fear of balloons eh?" Burns ranted.

"What are you talking about? Don't you think you're being a little bit paranoid?" Stella asked. "Hold on a sec... You're scared of balloons?"

"Traumatic childhood experience; however, that's not the point you loudmouth yenta!" sneered Burns.

"Hey! I'm the only one allowed to speak Yiddish! I just saw you sitting here all alone and thought you might want company but if you're gonna be a jackass then you can sit alone all night for all I care!" She turned around, abruptly flipping her hair angrily as she prepared to leave. Burns felt the words leave his mouth before he had the time to think.

"What do you do when you say something that hurts the one you love?" asked Burns softly, sounding uncharacteristically meek and desperate.

Stella stopped in her tracks as if considering what he had said before turning back and standing next to where he sat.

"Well, first you go find them and make it right."

"But how do I do that" he asked.

"You apologize." she said simply as if it were the easiest thing in the world. Burns felt a hint of disgust at the thought.

"Ew. Isn't their an easier way?" he asked, appalled at the idea of having to admit he was wrong.

"Come on! Waylon would forgive you in a second! He's like a puppy waiting for just a little praise every now and then."

"I never said it was _him_." Burns said annoyed.

"Right, gotcha. What did you say that was so bad anyways?"

"I said that he was a waste of time." Burns stated. Wincing slightly at how strange the pronoun 'he' felt on his tongue.

"You big jerk!" Stella slapped him across the face; not hard, but enough to sting a little. He couldn't believe the audacity of that woman even if she were simply trying defend Smithers! He was sort of in shock at first shocked but he decided to let it go and simply hear her out. "You told him that? What is wrong with you?"

"I've said worst things than that to him his whole life. He's never let it bother him before." stated Burns.

"I told you that guy was a ticking time-bomb! He's practically ready to go off any minute!" Stella exclaimed.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh! That's right! You haven't read it yet have you?" she asked. "The latest chapter of Bloodlust!"

"So, you've been reading it too? Tell me, has it made it to Oprah's book club yet?" Burns joked, despite his irritation.

"What? Oh... I don't know honey..." she rummaged through her huge purse and pulled out a bunch of junk, handing it to Burns. "I know it's in here somewhere." she muttered to herself. He set the junk out onto the stone bench next to him, finding a bit strange that she even had a large bottle of mustard amongst all the clutter. She was up to her elbow in the bag before she finally found what she was looking for.

"Here. I suggest you read it." Stella grabbed all of her things and threw them back into her purse. "I wish I could stay longer, but I have a date with that sexy bartender, Moe. You know him right? Of course you do, you've probably been in this town longer than anyone. You know I heard that Moe-" Stella rambled on until Burns finally began to ignore her. Maybe she was right. Apologizing wasn't the worst thing in the world. It would be like stealing candy from a baby... Then again that didn't work out so well the last time he'd tried it either and he still had the scar from the bullet to prove it!

Once Stella had finished her long-winded speech, she pulled a box of tissues from her purse and sat it next to him.

"What am I going to do with those?" Burns questioned. "I don't need them."

"Oh, you will." she replied.

"Oh pish posh! No story is sad enough to bring me to tears." Burns threw the box of tissues at Stella as she was leaving. Finding himself alone again, he had nothing better to do than to read.

- o - o - o -

_Wallace stood in front of the old and creepy stone building of Lycius' shop, trembling with nerves. He had been to the shop with Baines on a few occasions briefly, but had barely shared more than a few pleasantries with the tall, intimidating sorcerer. He stared up at the purple and gold sign labeled Zephram's Magic Emporium posted over the oaken door with it's intricately embellished black hinges._

_The events of that evening had been devastating. Mr. Baines had been practically his entire world for the last six years. He had come-of-age into a world where vampires and magic were the norm and he could never get those years back and return to such a normal mundane human existence. He couldn't just run away. His first thought was to go to Lycius for help just like Baines always did whenever he needed guidance._

_It felt strange to be there without Baines, he had never been alone with Lycius before and didn't know what to expect. He finally gathered up enough courage to enter the shop, the bells clanging against the door. A woman and a little brown haired girl with pigtails, had been browsing through the candy isle as he entered. The little girl looked up at him as she held onto the woman's hand._

_Wallace wiped his tear-stained face with his sleeve and absentmindedly pretended to browse the shelves, but all his thoughts were centered on Baines and the woman he assumed was about to become Baines' wife. Even a vampire wasn't exempt from the moral codes of society and with human sensibilities being what they were in those days, they would be expected to marry if they were to continue being accepted amongst the upper-crust of society. If only Baines didn't care so much about his reputation within the human world._

_The sound of a door creaking on the far end of the room alerted him. Lycius stepped through the door briskly with an armful of colorfully decorated boxes. He handed the boxes to the woman from across the counter and crouched down to the girl's height to talk to her._

_"There you are, only the best in the shop for such an adorable little girl." The girl cringed away from him, clinging onto the mother's green dress. Lycius looked up at the mother questioningly._

_"Why do they always do that?" he asked, standing back to his full height. His voice was just as masculine, his slight accent just as exotic as Wallace remembered. It was then that Lycius finally looked his way. He hurriedly finished with the customers, his attention averted to Wallace as he took the money from the woman. Once she had left, Lycius slowly walked over to stand in front of him, looking down at him intimidatingly. Wallace defensively crossed his arms before he finally spoke._

_"Mr. Zephrym?" Wallace asked nervously._

_"Mr. Sylvie." Lycius replied, mimicking him._

_"Er... um..." Wallace uttered. He didn't know what is was about the man that always made him nervous, though he knew he wasn't the only one. The little girl had had a similar reaction to him as well._

_"Well, now that we have our names established, why don't we step into my office?" asked Lycius who then turned around to head for the door to his office._

_"Uh..."_

_"That means that you should follow." Lycius said mockingly, without turning to look at him._

_"Oh, right." Wallace reluctantly followed him into the back room. He had come here to see him and now he was beginning to have second thoughts. Lycius pulled out a chair at the round table in the middle of the room and sat down, Wallace did the same, sitting across from him, fidgeting nervously as he waited for Lycius to say something. He had forgotten the vampire had an annoying habit of waiting awkwardly in silence before he spoke, his words always so calculating._

_"Mr. Zephrym." Wallace spoke, ending the deadening silence. Lycius looked down to his feet, smirking._

_"What is this with the Mr. Zephrym? You call me Lycius."_

_"Er... Lycius... I-I don't really know what to say... I..." he had tried to remain strong as a tear trailed down his face. He felt humiliated to cry in front of Lycius, he barely even knew him. Why did it matter anyways? Nothing in his life mattered anymore so caring what Lycius thought of him seemed so unimportant._

_"What makes you cry young lad?" Lycius asked, his voice surprisingly softer, losing some of it's former smugness._

_Wallace tried to speak, but he knew if he did, his voice would come out sounding ridiculous as he tried to fight the wave of despair that wracked him. As he tried to wipe the tears from his face, he saw that Lycius was leaning over the table towards him, the vampire's hand reaching beneath his chin. He looked up at Lycius._

_"Maybe I can help. This is about Loraine and Mortimer isn't it?" he spoke in a low voice. If he were trying to be comforting, he certainly was doing a bad job at it, and only succeeded at making him even more uncomfortable._

_"Wha- How did you know?" Wallace whispered._

_"I've been in this world a long time, I know these things." Lycius withdrew his hand and sack back into his seat. "You are a lot like Mortimer, you come to me when life becomes unbearable." Wallace remained silent so Lycius continued, "You do realize that this would be the first time ever that you and I have had a chance to talk alone?"_

_"Lycius, am I right to assume that you already know of my problem? That you know of Mortimer and Loraine's engagement?" Wallace asked._

_"THIER WHAT? You must be mistaken!" Lycius roared and stood up from the table, running a hand through his hair, his well controlled composure cracking. Wallace knew about Lycius' 'thing' for Mr. Baines but was still taken aback by the reaction nonetheless._

_"Loraine is with child so Mortimer... being the insufferably honorable man he is, will most certainly ask for her hand now." Wallace sighed._

_"No, he cannot! He is to wed that human? She isn't even one of us! She is not worthy of him!" Lycius yelled. He'd obviously forgotten that Wallace himself was technically still one of those dreaded 'humans' that he so often spoke ill of. Wallace remained seated, watching curiously as Lycius paced the room obviously distraught by the news._

_"You speak as if you have lost him yourself!" said Wallace suspiciously. Lycius stopped in his tracks, looking over to him._

_"I-I... I am sorry. I forget the present company I am with." he apologizes._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Well, of course it would anger you. You belong with Mortimer. It is only natural that you would be jealous."_

_"Jealous? Are you mad? Who are you to think that I would be jealous of you? It's not like you really have a claim to him." blurted Wallace, letting his own suspicions get the best of him "Do you?"_

_"As much as I try to win his heart, Mortimer has a love for you that is unwavering. There is no room in his life for me."_

_"You know everything? You know all about Mortimer and I?"_

_Yes, I know. Please don't give it another thought. Our people are often less critical of such relationships than modern day humans. You need not worry. Though, I did find it surprising that Baines came to love you. I just assumed that he wasn't attracted to men, after all, he never fell for me." Lycius replied vainly._

_It was surprising that he no longer felt the intimidation that he had when he arrived. He assumed it was because of the sad state he was in that Lycius refrained from the relentless flirting that he was so famous for. He went on to fill him in on the rest of the whole nightmarish evening, of how Loraine came to find them together and how he had left on his horse._

_"Did you actually hear him say that he would marry her?" Lycius asked, resting his hands onto the table as he stood staring down at Wallace._

_"Do you think he would abandon his own child? Even if he did, he wouldn't be able to show his face in town again! You know how important he views his reputation, even amongst mortals!"_

_"I know how much he loves you Wallace, he didn't want me to tell you but..."_

_"Tell me what?"_

_"You see, a while back, Mortimer came to me in a state similar as yourself. He was afraid. He was afraid of where his relationship with you would lead. I'm sure he's told you all about Kenneth?"_

_"I know of him, but I don't like to ask. Too much hurt in his eyes when I bring up the name." said Wallace._

_"He was just as addicted to Kenneth as he was to you. To your blood that is."_

_"Did he..." Wallace hesitated, looking down to the table in front of him, "did he love him? Like the way he loves me?"_

_"No. Not from the conversations I've had with him. The point is that he doesn't want you to end up dying like Kenneth. That is his biggest fear that he struggles with constantly. When he came to me the other day, he was so worried and confused on whether he should leave Loraine. He had felt ashamed that he had let himself give in to such lust, and put you in such danger."_

_"I can't believe he told you about that." Wallace stammered, his face suddenly growing hot._

_"Consider yourself lucky, for you have accomplished something that I have been unable to achieve for nearly fifty years. You've captured the vampire's heart." Lycius responded, smiling kindly._

_"Alas, there is no room left for me in his life... and I cannot go back to the life of a mortal... alone."_

_"You have always been a mortal. You are yet to be a vampire." Lycius reminded him. Of course he was stating the obvious. Being a vampire was always what he wanted, did Lycius really feel the need to rub it in his face that he was still a mortal? Wallace stood up, his voice taking on a more angry, frustrated tone._

_"Were I a vampire, Mortimer would have a reason to keep me around. He would have to teach me the ways of vampire life."_

_"Then you should go to him and ask him." Lycius replied calmly._

_"He denies me. I have asked many times to turn me into a vampire and his response is always to tell me to wait one more year!"_

_"That sounds like him..." Lycius retorted. Wallace approaching, standing directly in front of the tall vampire._

_"But I'll bet you can do it! Drain me of this mortal's blood? That is how it is done is it not?"_

_"It is Mortimer's right!" Lycius stated firmly. "He has claimed you therefore you are his! I cannot interfere with such sacred ties. Being a vampire's apprentice is almost like a marriage. Wherefore ye hath joined together, let no vampire put asunder. From first bite, be their strings of fate tied evermore."_

_"I applaud such poetic efforts but-" said Wallace, Lycius interrupted._

_"Be it not mere poetry young lad, but a hallowed vampire's rite! Lycius grabbed him by the shoulders shaking him lightly as if to emphasize this point. "Words passed down, as old as time! Have you not heard them boy?"_

_"Then what am I to do? I have no choice, I ought to just end it all now!"_

_"I will not have you speak such nonsense! Mortimer is searching for you this very minute! That, I am sure of!"_

_"Hmph... I just wish I could be so sure. I think... that I should be going now. I think I k-know what I am to do now. I really see no other alternative."_

_"Wallace. Please, don't hurt Mortimer. If he were to lose you-"_

_"Don't worry about it." Wallace smiled a fake smile, hoping that Lycius wouldn't be able to sense his insincerity. He hadn't expected him to be so concerned and such a good listener. It was no wonder Baines always sought out the elusive vampire for advice. His words did seem to have lessened Lycius worries as he leaned close to Wallace's ear, whispering._

_"I am glad that you came to me. Were it under different circumstances, I would have certainly stripped you and taken you across the table without a second thought." the vampire's husky voice had startled him and he jumped away. The comment was so unexpected and so inappropriate that he felt like he could have almost just out of his skin! Wallace felt like his face must be glowing blood-red. Lycius let out a small laugh, his sharp fangs gleaming and patted Wallace on the shoulder as if to assure him that he was only joking._

_Wallace laughed halfheartedly, still contemplating what he was planning once he left the shop. He had an idea that he'd been toying with ever since he had run off, but he still wasn't sure he had the courage to go through with it._

_- o - o - o -_

_Baines looked all over the house for Wallace, cursing that there were so many rooms to search. His superior sense of smell didn't help him either considering that every room in the home was saturated by Wallace's scent. He was thankful that it was still dark out so he didn't have to bundle up beneath many layers of protective clothing._

_He exited through the front door and stood out in front of the house, looking along the length of the stately, stone wall that enclosed the property. Wallace spent a lot of time out there and Baines had often stepped outside and found him sitting on those very walls. To his disappointment he didn't see him anywhere and his scent already seemed lost to the wind by now. Loraine hadn't left yet and her chaise was still out there, her blond, palomino horse waiting patiently in the empty field in front of the house for her return._

_"The horses!" Baines exclaimed. He looked over to the direction of the stables. Wallace could have easily taken his horse Airborne out to the city which he did whenever he became frustrated or needed time alone. Baines ran over to the stables at the back of the house and found that that his own horse, with it's smooth, midnight-black coat was still there, but Airborne was indeed gone._

_Wallace must have wanted to get out of town fast, only now, Baines feared that he might have decided to leave for good. He scratched his horse Casanova on the snout comfortingly as he jumped from one disturbing conclusion to another._

_He had selfishly kept Wallace all to himself for so long and it was only logical that the young man would eventually want to reach out and explore more of the world rather than limiting himself to the confines of Baines Manor. He hoped that wasn't the case. He knew Wallace better than that and he knew that he wouldn't just leave forever without hearing him out first._

_Baines exited the stable, biting his thumbnail as he tried to figure out his next course of action. He looked to the ground, seeing fresh tracks where the horse had left the property, tracks that he hoped would lead to Bath. He new the city well and knowing that Wallace was there would certainly narrow his search._

_Flying at night was the most convenient mode of travel and the dark skies would camouflage him well enough to keep him away from mortal eyes. Flying at approximately 30 mph, he could easily make it there in around four minutes. He only wished he would have left sooner instead of wasting time searching the house with Loraine yelling at him like a banshee the whole time._

_Occasionally he would swoop down to the ground to make sure he was following the horse's tracks which were leading him straight to where he suspected. As approached the city, flying over the River Avon, his boots finally touched down onto the cold stone path behind a building. He stepped out of the alleyway and walked down the streets, passing by people casually as if he were one of them. He looked desperately for any sign of Wallace's horse. He had the feeling that Wallace was somewhere near him, he could sense it._

_He had walked for about ten minutes, picking up speed as he could sense that he was getting closer with every second that past. Just up ahead, it's Gothic spires towering high above the center of town as if to pierce the night sky, stood the centuries old, castle-like structure known as Bath Abbey in all its grandiose splendor, rising high above the ancient Roman Baths._

_He stopped, hearing the familiar sound of a horse snorting and clacking it's feet on the ground. It was Airborne, Wallace's horse. She stood there, as graceful and calm as ever and looked as if she were waiting under the tree for her owner's return. She was a beautiful animal with a warm-chestnut colored coat and flaxen blond mane._

_He walked up to the animal which looked overjoyed to see someone it recognized. The horse was there waiting so that meant Wallace would be nearby too. He left the horse and headed closer to the church, his steps slow and deliberate as he knew that it was only a matter of minutes before his search was over. He walked around to the other side of the building, eyes searching every window and every shaded wall in the vicinity. When he got to the west side entrance, he noticed that a crowd had formed. He approached a thin, mustached man in the crowd._

_"Why is everyone standing about at this time of night?" asked Baines._

_"Up there!" The man pointed up to the looming, elaborately embellished tower with its huge arched windows. At the top of the tower stood a figure in the shadows. It was then that his world came to a screeching halt and he felt as if his immortal heart had finally stopped._

_Standing precariously atop the deathly tall tower was Wallace, his boots flat against the stone balustrade. Baines barely even had the time to think, nor did he have the time to react before he watched as Wallace's lost his footing, his hand reached for the railing but he could do nothing to save himself from gravity's unrelenting pull. It was a moment frozen in time._

_Baines felt himself react instinctively, his heart hammering in his chest as he rushed forward with superhuman speed to the base of the monolithic tower. Alas, he reached Wallace just after the moment of impact, the force of which resounded a sickening, bone-shattering crash. Mr. Baines couldn't breath; he couldn't think. This had to be some horrible nightmare! His whole body felt numb at the scene that had just played out before him and for the first time in nearly fifty years, the sight of blood repulsed him._

_He clung to Wallace desperately on the ground, his eyes welling up with tears as he cried out. His voice low and grief-stricken. A small pool of blood began to stain the ground beneath them._

_"You cannot leave me! I won't allow it!" Baines cried hysterically, his whole body trembling as he leaned over Wallace, kissing him on the forehead and on the lips like it would be the last chance he would ever have. A sudden movement from beneath him sent a shock wave through him. Wallace was actually moving!_

_"M...mort..." he struggled to speak. He was actually able to speak!_

_"Wallace!" Baines exclaimed! The young man's eyed fluttered open, those same angelic green eyes that he was afraid that he'd never see again._

_"Forgive m-me." Wallace spoke softly, wincing from the pain that was setting in. "I didn't mean for this... to happen."_

_"Please, don't speak! I must get help for you!" Mr. Baines ordered, his heart shattering even more with every agonizing second that passed._

_"I only meant to frighten you... so you would stay with me... I did not..." Wallace's voice trailed off unexpectedly, sending Baines into even more of a state of panic._

_"Wallace!" He cried frantically._

_"I did not...m-mean to fall. I love you more... more than life itself Mortim-" Wallace slurred, his voice growing silent once more before all was still. Baines felt something within him snap. The strangely comforting bond that had been with him constantly for the last six years was no more and it was spiritually blinding._

_"Oh..." Baines muttered, backing up a little from Wallace in disbelief; the lump in his throat making it hard for him to even breath. His gray gloves were stained with blood as he leaned back over, wrapping his arms around Wallace and holding on tightly to the now motionless vessel. He was too numb to cry out even though he felt that he wanted to. Too drained to curse the heavens for taking his love from him. The very tower he had fallen from, in some sick, twisted irony, displayed carvings of fallen angels on one side while others ascended to heaven._

_He picked up his beloved's limp form and took flight without a second thought to the citizens below that played witness to the display._

_- o - o - o -_

_He had flown slowly; mournfully carrying Wallace over the countryside heading back towards the direction of the manor; however home was not his destination. He searched for a particular place that he and Wallace always spent a lot of time at in a clearing beneath a large shade tree. It was the only holly tree amongst the patch of nearby yew trees. Once, years ago when Wallace was a child, they had gone out there with an ax and had split a couple of logs and made themselves some nice seats out of the stumps and placed them under the Holly tree. The place held a lot of memories and it seemed the only fitting place for such a tragic love story to come to an end._

_He soon dropped altitude and landed at the desired location. Wallace's stump-seat sat next to his where it had always been, just like Wallace was always beside him. The sight of the place and the memories it held, pained him beyond measure._

_He laid Wallace onto the ground carefully. He then took of his coat and his shirt, then the remainder of his clothing, casting them over near the tree. When he was done, he curled up next to him. He'd never really thought much about simple sensations such as the cool grass against his bare skin or the feel of the slightly chilling wind._

_He slowly reached up to run his fingers through Wallace's soft, blood stained hair. He then ran his fingers lightly over his chest and then to his love's hand, lacing their fingers together. He only hoped that when his time did come, the other side would welcome someone as wretched as he saw himself to be. Hopefully being a vampire wouldn't condemn him to an eternity without his beloved. Baines looked out over the horizon to the east and spoke in a low, steady voice._

_"The sun. Giver of life, reaper of the damned, bringer of such merciful death... May you shine upon this immortal prison of mine." he spoke solemnly, the cool wind rippling the grass around him._

_"There is nothing left of me, but a desire to see those green eyes of yours again, my dear Wallace."_

_Twilight was moving ever closer towards them, Baines clutched tighter onto Wallace's hands, his only comfort being that he might possibly reunite with him. It wasn't long before his eyes fell shut and he succumbed to sleep._

- o - o - o -

The last page was rather hard for Mr. Burns to read, not only because of the content, but also because the page had become a bit tear-stained. Just like Baines, he had a lump in his throat while reading, making it hard to swallow and he couldn't believe that something as simple as reading a story could have that affect on him. He quickly wiped his eyes and sniffed. He felt ridiculous, crying like a baby.

He folded up the papers and placed them into the interior pocket of his white tailcoat. What could possibly make Smithers want to write a story, make you fall in love with the characters and then practically slaughter them for no real reason other than the shock value? Maybe there was another reason. Maybe his assistant really was as troubled as Stella had warned him about.

He remained sitting on the stone bench for a moment, elbows resting on his knees, his head propped up by a hand. And to think he had actually said that Smithers was a waste of his time? What if he suddenly lost Smithers just like Baines had lost Wallace? The two of them had never even explored any sort of romantic relation ship fully and to think that it could all end before he really knew what he was missing out on seemed wrong. Then again, why try and rush it? It wasn't like his assistant was a suicidal, basket-case with a death wish no matter how similar he and Wallace were, Burns refused to believe that Smithers would ever leave him like that.

As he sat there with his hands on his knees, he wondered where Smithers could be and was beginning to become really worried. He looked up to the balcony four stories above from where he sat. What could Smithers possibly be doing all this time?

As if by some horribly convenient coincidence, he took a closer look at the balcony and could see that Smithers was standing up there alone peering out over the courtyard; apparently Burns hadn't been spotted by him yet. A funny thought crossed his mind, so funny yet at the same time, so absurd that he snorted with amusement. This whole scenario was eerily similar to the scene he had just read in the story. Wallace atop the tower; Baines watching from below as he fell to his mortal end.

"No seriously, he wouldn't do such a thing!" Burns laughed nervously through his own uncertainty. He looked back up to Smithers' direction, his assistant's foot was now coming to rest against the balcony railings, the same place they had kissed earlier in the evening!

"He wouldn't dare!" Burns said, standing up abruptly. He made sure not to hesitate like Baines had and made a mad dash for the hotel entrance almost knocking over one of the employees as he flew through the door. His blood was racing as he ran up the four flights of stairs and he felt as if he'd even skipped a few steps on the way up. He silently made a promise to himself that he'd never insult Smithers like that again! He rushed into the banquet hall and out onto the balcony where he flung himself towards Smithers, his arms wrapped around the man's waist from behind. He then slid down to the ground, his arms now wrapped tightly around Smithers' knees, his white hat falling to the floor.

"What the-?" Smithers yelped. He turned around and looked down to Mr. Burns, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Mr. Burns!"

"Smithers! I'm sorry I said you were a waste of time! I'm sorry for everything, but please don't end it like this!" Burns implored, looking up into his eyes pleadingly.

"Well, an apology is nice but really is unnecessary. What is all of this about?" Smithers asked.

"I don't want to lose you! I can't! I simply can't find a better assistant nor could a train another to be as diligent as you. I love you too much to let that happen!" Burns couldn't believe the words that he was hearing were actually coming from his own mouth, but he had meant every word. His face glowed from embarrassment and from the relief that he had actually gotten that hurdle out of the way.

"Mr. Burns... sir... I-I don't know what to say!" Smithers stammered.

"Say that you'll reconsider!" he begged, clutching the material of Smithers' pants legs as if it were enough to keep Smithers safely on solid ground.

"Reconsider what?"

"Jumping!" Burns replied hastily. "You were about to jump because you were depressed!"

"Depressed where on earth did you get an idea like that? I'm not depressed! I had my foot on the balcony, tying my shoe. I wasn't about to jump!"

"Yes you were! Burns exclaimed, still on his knees near Smithers' feet. "I read the story! About Wallace falling from the ledge! The vampires, the blood, everything!" Burns blurted, exasperated. He paused a few seconds thinking about what Smithers had just said. "Wait! What do you mean you aren't depressed?"

"No way! I'm perfectly fine. That was just what happened in the story! Right now, I'd say I'm downright gleeful thanks to you!" he crouched down to Burns' level and picked up Burns' hat from the floor, brushing it off carefully before placing it back onto his head. He then placed a hand on Burns' face and pulled him closer for a kiss that Burns didn't even try to fight. He was a little too stunned and confused to really react to anything. Burns' eyes remained opened wide as he came to grips with the confusing situation. Stella had told him that Smithers was depressed and almost suicidal and now he'd just confessed a little more than he'd meant to!

"Dammit Smithers!" Burns stood up, straightening his coat. "You've had me running around like a striped ass ape all evening for nothing! I thought when I insulted you that it really sent you over the edge this time!"

"Well, it did hurt... what you said," Smithers said quietly, "but after I thought about it, I knew you didn't really mean it. If anything, I'd say that it was your own little way of playing hard to get!"

"Don't be such an idiot! I was doing no such thing!" Burns finally turned away, walking a few steps towards the door leading back to the banquet hall. "Come Smithers, take me home now, I just want to go home and get into bed."

"Hm, funny. I was just thinking the same thing." Smithers commented wryly.

- o - o - o -

_'Oh my god! He actually said it! He said _IT_! He loves me!'_Smithers thought to himself on their way to Burn's car.

He couldn't believe it! It was like they had slowly slipped into this flirtatiously tentative relationship without him even being fully aware of it! How had it all come to this? He could actually kiss Mr. Burns now without the whole world falling down around him?

He took his place in the drivers' seat and had never been more thrilled to be over and done with a charity event. Now he had this long drive ahead of him in which he and Burns would be in the car together traveling for over an hour, all alone finally. It didn't sound like much of a thrill but he knew that driving Burns around was just where he belonged.

As they drove a while, he would occasionally look back up into the rear-view mirror to see Burns' nervous face. His boss appeared to be in deep thought, a look that made him even more adorable with his brows furrowed in concentration.

"Ah, sir?" Smithers questioned, unsure himself what he even wanted to ask.

"Not now Smithers. I am in no mood to entertain you tonight." he responded flatly, rolling up the glass privacy window. For some reason, the thought of Burns '_entertaining_' him as he'd put it, sounded almost dirty. Then again, he always had the habit of twisting Burns' words into something of that nature.

They had made it nearly halfway home before Smithers suddenly had a brilliant idea. He recalled all the times in the past where Burns had rolled up the glass window between them. He would call Burns on the car phone and his boss would become irritated, but at least the lines of communication would be opened for a little while. Sometimes, if he kept the conversation interesting, Burns actually seemed to enjoy talking to him and actually loosened up even more on the phone than he would when talking in person, if he caught him in a good mood that is.

Smithers picked up the phone and pressed the button on the dashboard. He looked into the mirror and it looked as if Burns was contemplating whether or not to pick it up. After a couple of more rings, he finally heard Burns' voice in his ear on the other end of the line.

"What is it." Burns asked grumpily.

"It's me sir. I just wanted to tell you that-"

_CLICK_

Smithers held the phone away from his ear at the loud click. He wasn't going to be deterred quite so easily this time. He pressed the intercom button again, holding the phone to his ear and waiting for him to pick up. It rang and rang until Burns finally couldn't take it anymore and finally answered it.

"What IS it man?" he snapped. Smithers found it amusing that Burns had just recited one of his favorite quotes from Ren & Stimpy almost precisely in character. Now, what was he going to say to Burns? He searched for a response, anything as long as he said _something_.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you..." he hesitated. There were so many things he wanted to tell him right then. He wanted to tell him that he loved him, that he wanted him. He wanted him right then and there. He wanted to feel Burns in his arms again, to feel his skin beneath his fingertips, to share more than just stolen, innocent kisses.

"Well? Burns asked, breaking Smithers' train of thought."

"I-I was just going to say... we're nearly halfway home. Thought you might want to know."

"Oh well fine Smithers, thanks for that little bit of pointless information." Burns growled. Smithers wasn't discouraged. He simply had to keep things interesting.

"You know, the funniest thing happened at the banquet. You know Ms. Naegle right?" from the mirror, Burns was giving him a sarcastic look. "Of course you do... um, anyway... I think she had a little too much to drink tonight. While you were out, she actually tried to do a strip tease on top of one of the tables. They had to get security out there to get her down!"

"Hm, that doesn't surprise me."

Smithers had somehow suspected to receive a bigger reaction from him than that. It was definitely going to be hard to get through to him this time.

"Sir, forgive me for asking, but... are you... alright? You seem a little uneasy."

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine! Forget it."

"Mr. Burns. I know I might be pushing the subject but..." Smithers lingered on hesitantly.

"Well? Don't leave me hanging all day this time. What is it?"

"I was just thinking... about us." Smithers started. Did he really want to go that route? His heart was speeding too fast, he had to change the subject again. Talking about love this early could be disastrous. He looked up to the mirror again. Burns seemed at a loss for words, his expression one of discomfort. Smithers was beginning to rethink even bringing it up, but continued on cautiously anyway, switching to a much less loaded question.

"No pressure or anything and you don't have to answer if you don't want to but... I was wondering what you thought of my story so far?" There, he said it! It wasn't what he really wanted to talk about, but he could still gather some information disguised within Burns' response. He held the phone close to his ear. Waiting for Burns' voice again.

"Uh... um... what k-kind of an open-ended question is that? What do I think of the story?" Burns asked.

"Yeah! You like it? Hate it? Like some parts and hate others? Maybe you have an issue with-"

"Smithers! The story is fine. A story is only a story after all right?" Burns laughed awkwardly. The conversation apparently something he'd wanted to avoid.

"Hmm, just fine? Is that all?" Smithers paused, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel with his free hand. "How about the tragic ending?" he asked. He'd managed to keep his voice steady the whole time, but inside he was a wreck.

"Wait, so you mean... that's really the ending?" asked Burns, unable his hide his curiosity. Good, now they were actually getting somewhere.

"Well, I still have a little more to write. How bout the horses names? I thought the name Airborne seemed very appropriate for Wallace's horse.

"Not a bad name... not one I would have personally chosen but-"

"How about the sex scenes?" Smithers had instantly felt the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel at having just interrupted Mr. Burns with such a question. One he was eager to hear the answer to nonetheless.

"Ah... I wouldn't know. I skipped over most of them." Burns said dismissively.

"Oh." Smithers replied. Really how could he skip them? Wasn't he at least a little curious? He then thought of what Burns had really just admitted to. "Most of them? So you mean you read some of them?"

"Smithers! If you really must know, yes I did read them and I have since been scarred for life! There, are you happy? Scarring an old man for life?" Burns blurted out in a hostile manner.

"Oh, um I'm... sorry?" said Smithers, not really sure how to respond to Burns' sudden outburst.

"Hmph." Burns huffed.

The silence went on for a minute, he saw Burns holding the phone waiting for him to continue speaking, but he had no idea what to say next. It was then, that he thought he heard Burns mumbling something into the phone.

"Hm? Did you say something sir?"

"I-I was just saying... ah, never mind."

"No! What? What were you going to say?" Smithers asked eagerly. Burns waited a little before he went on.

"I just... I suppose..." he struggled, his voice cracking, "I suppose I d-did exaggerate a bit. I... wasn't scarred for life... not exactly."

"Well, that's good. You had me worried there for a second." Smithers laughed. He could tell that Burns was trying to tell him something. Perhaps even trying to hint around that he actually liked what he'd read. He was on edge and all the excitement of the night had him a little over-zealous with some of his expectations of Burns. The night still wasn't over yet, perhaps when they got home, Burns would be willing to-

"In fact..., Burns added after a moment, "the way you write it makes it seem like... something that everyone should try at least once."

Upon hearing Burn's statement, the car swerved slightly, sending it off the street! Smithers slammed on the breaks in an attempt to gain control, the car squalling to an abrupt stop. Once he had caught his breath, he picked the phone back up and held it to his ear.

"Are you all right Monty?" Smithers asked, his voice a little higher out of concern. Had he just heard him right? By the look of Burns' face, he seemed to be shocked by his own statement as well.

"Ah, that's n-not what I meant!" said Burns hurriedly, accompanied by his usual high-pitched laughter he saved for only his most embarrassing occasions. "W-w-what I meant to say is that... I suppose there's a first time for everything." said Burns, failing miserably at covering his tracks "Ah... Damn." he uttered.

Smithers couldn't believe what he was hearing had just come from Mr. Burns! He didn't know what possessed him, but he quickly dropped the phone into his seat and reached for the door handle. He got out of the car and slipped into the back seat next to Burns, lunging at him like an over-sized dog greeting its owner. Burns fell onto his back from Smithers' weight, one leg up over Smithers' back as if he were caught off guard.

He found Burns' mouth with his and felt hands clutching onto the front of his coat. Whether Burns was trying to pull him closer or push him away was unclear. Everything was happening so fast and his entire body was humming with years of pent up frustration. Years of being so dangerously close to the very one he thought would be off limits. Smithers moved lower to Burns' throat, feeling Burns lustful voice humming against his lips as he spoke.

"Smithers," he murmured. "Mmm... oh! Smithers, this is getting... way out of mmm! Way out of hand!" Burns mumbled, his words interrupted by Smithers' intermittent kisses.

Smithers moaned when their lips met again. If he could have his way, he would want to make love to him right then and there! Even if they had to do it in the back seat of the car. He wanted to rip the clothes off of that formally-clad billionaire. No, better yet, have Mr. Burns pressing him against the leather of the backseat and acting out a couple of those scenes that he had so conveniently claimed to have skipped. They continued kissing, this time Burns must have calmed himself enough to gain a little more confidence as he felt Burns delving into the kiss as an active participant, his slick tongue delving further as if doing battle with his.

This was all well and good but was he selfish for wanting more? Burns had a chance to reject him, but he hadn't, not yet anyway. He felt Mr. Burns' hands running up and down his back, gripping onto his coat needfully. They finally pulled away to catch their breath. Smithers' heart was hammering so fiercely as he looked down at Burns beneath him breathing heavily, his face flushed and his eyes heavy-lidded. Burns had on multiple layers of clothing and it would be tricky freeing him from them, especially within the confines of the car. Would Mr. Burns even allow it? He reached up to Burn's neck, untying the white bow-tie while Burns' eyes widened as he looked up at him.

* * *

**A.N. - Two chapters posted within four days? I must be insane! I really wanted to add more, but I've already gotten over 9000 words here so-(not that there really is a limit o_0) ****Next chapter, we pick up where we left off! Not to worry! Burns isn't going to be completely passive either. Hope you all like the lemony flavor of that last scene! XD**

**So sorry about Mr. Baines and Wallace, but it had to be told right? Is it really the end for Wallace and his vampire? Will either survive or will it truly be a tragic romance 'Romeo-&-Juliet' style? Only time will tell. I actually attended a funeral the day this part was written. Sad, but it really made the mood of the story seem more authentic and easier to write. Oh, and about ****Bath Abbey, it's really ****one beautiful piece of architecture ****and the pictures of angels carved into the limestone tower are indeed real and a huge surprise to me when I looked up the place on Google earth! How fitting and ironic. **

**Up Next: Burns and his favorite assistant have some fun in the back seat and are in for a little scare in the process of it all. I seriously have nothing else to say on the matter :P**

**Stay tuned for more.**


	26. Roadside Assistance

**Warning: I hate to spoil the moment, but Lemon Alert Ahead! We all know what lemon means in the fanfiction world right? (adult content/sex) If such scenes bother you then skip most of this chapter, or just don't read it. For the rest, please feel free to continue. :)**

**Chapter Twenty Six: Roadside Assistance**

Burns found himself falling against the leather of the backseat with Smithers sprawled on top of him. He had hoped to put up more of a fight than that, yet he found himself yielding to Smithers' touch. After a frenzy of passionate kisses and roaming hands, Smithers sat up, his legs on either side of Burns. He watched Smithers through heavy-lidded eyes; his heart pounding like crazy. So they had gotten a little carried away; a little harmless indiscretion occasionally wouldn't hurt anyone.

It was then that Smithers reached to undo Burns' bow-tie. He looked up at him, wide-eyed, his face glowing from embarrassment. Just what kind of an evening was he planning? The kisses he could deal with, but this was different! This was a whole other game with a completely new set of rules to play with.

Even Smithers' position on top of him was a little too much to handle; legs straddled around his hips firmly. The unusual feeling of Smithers' hardness pressing against his own was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. Smithers' fingers began to undo the buttons along the front of his vest. He had to say something before things went ever further beyond his comfort zone. When Smithers began to undo his shirt buttons, Burns grabbed his wrist.

"W-wait! This is... a little t-to much don't you think?" Burns stammered.

"Hmm." Smithers hummed, too caught up in the moment to even pay him any mind. Smithers slipped his hand away from Burns' hold and undid the last remaining buttons. He then cautiously grazed his fingers over Burns' chest as soft as if he were reading braille, making the older man shiver.

"D-don't you think this is... oh I don't know... a bit hasty?" Burns managed to say, still rattled by Smithers touch.

"I feel like I've... waited a lifetime." Smithers replied, his voice low and husky and full of desire, so unlike the way Burns had ever heard him before. Smithers' hands continued their exploration along his skin. Was this really his meek, soft-spoken assistant that he'd known for so many decades? The further things progressed, the more his old familiar worries over his own inadequacies began to surface.

With age came a whole new set of things to worry about, more specifically, his difficultly maintaining an erection. Sure, it was the subject of many jokes and humorous TV commercials and he'd even gotten a few laughs about it over the years, but it was still an obstacle he had to face. His doctor had proscribed something that Burns dubbed "the little blue pill" but he never saw the need to take it and whenever he did need it, he never seemed to have it with him. A lot of good it was doing him now, sitting at home in his medicine cabinet. His own uncertainty and perhaps even curiosity, made him more of an observer for the moment.

He felt Smithers suddenly lean down, pressing his lips to his exposed chest, kissing all down his belly, Smithers hands wandering along his sides beneith his unbuttoned shirt. Burns swallowed nervously as Smithers' hands crept dangerously lower and as much as his body was telling him that he wanted this, he was starting to panic. Smithers' hand stopped just over his crotch, rubbing slowly and teasingly through the material.

"Oh!" Burns gasped, his fingers clenching. Smithers' mouth was just above the hem of his pants, kissing around a particularly ticklish area on his belly just above his navel. Burns struggled to speak.

"Smithers!" He yelped suddenly, "I-I'm... a lot older than you. I hope you don't expect much to happen tonight." said Burns softly, almost unable to find his voice. After a few seconds, Smithers stopped to speak.

"I don't mind...mmm." Smithers mumbled, his words muffled against Burns' belly. "Even _this_ is more than I ever expected." Burns unknowingly began to stroke his fingers lightly over Smithers' hair as a distraction, earning him another lustful, "Mmm!" from Smithers.

"But, I can't always... people my age don't always..." Burns hesitated, he'd never been so shy to talk about the subject before. His whole body felt like a bundle of nerves as he searched for the words, hoping that Smithers would know what he meant. "I... might come as a disappointment to you..." Burns said finally. Smithers lifted his head, his eyes locking with Burns'.

"Sir, whether you come or not, I'm sure I won't be disappointed." Smithers grinned playfully. Burns felt himself blushing; a whole new wave of embarrassment mixed with lust overcame him. Smithers scooted up closer to his ear. "All the fun is in actually trying." he whispered, shifting his position to align himself on top of Burns and leaning up on his elbows.

Smithers knew what he was getting with Burns and yet he still wanted him for who he was, nothing else mattered. Things like age, sexual virility, monetary wealth or gender didn't matter. Smithers looked into his eyes again briefly with the same childish grin on his face that had always cheered him up ever since he could remember.

Smithers' hands smoothed over his stomach leisurely, opening his shirt further, his fingers trembling as if trying to keep his own desires at bay for the moment for Burns' sake. Smithers fidgeted around on top of him, making the position they were in even more frustrating and Burns was beginning to let all of the friction get the best of him. He instinctively reached for Smithers' hips. Whether it was to keep him from that maddening fidgeting or to encourage it, he wasn't sure. He moved his hips slightly as he held onto Smithers, pressing them even closer in a desperate need for more contact.

"Oh!" Smithers cried, thrusting back against him as if in response. Burns always did like provoking a reaction from others and this was no different. Smithers' lustful gasp, the little desperate sounds he could provoke were more than enough encouragement making him desperate for more. Smithers suddenly pulled away from his grasp and slid down lower. His face was beat red as his hands awkwardly fumbled around with the clasps of Burns' pants.

_'This is it!' _thought Burns excitedly. His mind went suddenly blank as he was left on pins and needles, wondering what was to happen next. Smithers' fingers fumbled with the fastenings on Burn's pants for the longest time until he was urgently, almost humorously fighting to get through the first stubborn clasp, practically growling with irritation. Burns smirked, the anticipation almost killing him as well.

Finally, the clasps came open, his heart raced at the subsequent sound of the zipper sliding down. The next instant he felt one hand slowly creeping into his pants, fingertips brushing along his most sensitive area. He bit his lip as he gradually became acquainted with the odd feeling of his assistant's touch. He breathed a heavy sigh, his eyes closed.

He finally did crack his eyes open, just as Smithers was freeing him from the constraints of his pants. Smithers' hand began to consume all logical thought processes from his mind as it slid slowly along his length; each motion like waves gently crashing against the shore. Burns moaned softy.

He'd never had allowed anyone on top of him like that especially handling him as the submissive one, but for the time being, he couldn't think straight. He looked away, his eyes focusing through the car window and to the streetlight above as he became even more aroused. Hands so slick, so wet, in fact, it didn't feel much like hands at all anymore.

That's when his eyes widened with shock as he noticed that it was no longer Smithers' hands, but his mouth, sliding his tongue along the underside, before sliding further down, taking in more of him. He could see Smithers rubbing himself through his own pants as he continued pleasuring Burns, lips gliding down and up over him. The warmth of Smithers' mouth was addicting, engulfing him within unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Every minute felt like an hour and every time that Smithers stopped or hesitated was like torture. What ever happened to his plan to have Smithers begging and helpless beneath him?

Smithers stopped for a moment as he fumbled around with his own pants, quickly unfastening them. Burns' pulse continued to beat rapidly; he'd never seen or done anything like what they were doing. Even as a child, his curiosity never went further than peeking at the other boys in the shower at camp. After a moment of hesitation, Smithers finally unzipped his own pants, revealing just how aroused he had become. Burns actually had the urge to reach out and touch it, never having been allowed the privilege before, but decided to wait to see what Smithers was going to do.

He watched for a while as Smithers nervously stroked himself a few times. His assistant was clearly turned-on as well as embarrassed by having an audience as evidenced by his trembling hands and cautiously slow movements. Smithers then did something that was even more unexpected. He moved forward, straddling Burns again and then with one grasp, took them both in one hand so that Burns could feel Smithers' hardness against his own. Burns finally got the nerve to touch him, gently brushing his fingers along Smithers' erection. Smithers shivered at his touch.

Taking cues from Smithers', he stopped to lick a couple of fingers before continuing, making the whole process considerably easier. His slippery fingers sliding easily over the both of them. He'd never imagined that doing such a thing could really be considered sex, yet it was the most satisfying thing he'd done with anyone for quite a while. Burns quickened his hand movements, feeling Smithers pressing increasingly harder against his hand.

"Oh! Oh god Monty, don't stop!" Smithers cried out.

It wasn't long before Smithers succumbed to passion, digging his fingers into back seat, a sigh on his lips as Burns finally released him, totally entranced by the moment.

- o - o - o -

Smithers remained motionless for a moment as he caught his breath. He looked down at Burns, in awe at the sight of him so aroused and covered with the evidence of their lovemaking. He reached down, laying a hand on Burns' stomach, the older man tensed at his touch. He still hadn't finished with Burns and he wasn't about to let things end like that without both of them being satisfied.

The back seat of a car wasn't the most ideal place for such an activity as Burns had bumped his head against the door a few times. At first, Smithers was worried that being so hasty and doing it all right in the car might even cheapen everything and it would be so much less stressful at Burns' house on a nice comfy bed, but now that he thought about it, the sheer spontaneity of it all was actually part of what fueled the excitement.

As expected, it did take some time, for Burns to respond, but he followed through until Burns came, a sight that he never dreamed he'd actually bare witness to.

Smithers looked down at the sight before him, his love lying flat against the car seat, breathing so heavily, his chest rising and falling. It felt as if that night, they were the only two left in the world, two beating hearts, entwined; even if for just that one night, they were as young and wide-eyed as a couple of awkward, inexperienced teenagers. He couldn't believe what had just happened, his heart still aflame. He was sure he'd never forget the feel of Mr. Burns' hands clinging to him with as much eagerness as himself. Smithers only hoped that he wouldn't wake up to find that it was all a dream. He hesitated a second, bringing his hand to his mouth, his fingers shaking from excitement as well as exhaustion. The slight taste of his lover still lingered upon his fingertips.

After a moment, Smithers straightened his clothes and collapsed against the seat next to Burns' feet, catching his breath. He didn't know how long Burns had been watching him, but he looked over to see Burns leaning up onto his elbows, suddenly avoiding direct eye contact, but still looking in his general direction. Burns had a worried, perhaps even annoyed look on his face and Smithers had no clue as to what was going on in the man's mind.

Burns' silence as well as his own was starting to get to him so he reached out, carefully stroking his fingers across Burns' chest. One wrong move and he didn't know how Burns would react. Burns eyes followed his fingers distractedly. Thankfully, Burns' breathing had finally slowed and returned to normal.

"Smithers." he said quietly, looking him in the eye nervously, he knew Mr. Burns wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Sir..."

"Waylon, I'm tired. Let's rest a bit." he replied calmly.

"What? You... want to sleep in the back while I drive?" asked Smithers.

"No. Come here."

Burns turned onto to his side and motioned for Smithers to join him. There was a sudden sense of relief from realizing that Burns was showing no signs of regret as he feared he might.

"But, will we both fit?" Smithers asked sceptically.

"It's only for a minute or two..." Burns spoke, barely above a whisper.

It didn't answer his question, but Smithers wasn't about to complain when he had a free opportunity to squeeze into the back seat with Burns scrunched up so close to him. He happily obliged the request, maneuvering into the space next to Burns, his back to him. With both of them on their sides, they fit comfortably into the back seat. He felt Burns' hand as it crept under his arm, coming to rest just below his chest as one would hug a stuffed animal. Even though Burns only wanted to rest for a moment, he silently wished that when they got home, they could slip right back into the same comfortable embrace on Burns' bed.

Of course, in reality they were resting in the backseat of Burns' antique, 30's era car, but it felt like they were so far away from the rest of the world they knew. Far away from the stress of the power plant; away from Springfield. It was a world of their own for the time being and unfortunately, as comfortable as he was, resting so peacefully with Burns' arm around him, he knew they would have to be heading home soon.

Burns tightened his grip momentarily and it felt as if he were snuggling up against him. He felt himself dozing off for a second, but tried to remain alert so he could drive. For some reason, he pictured himself dressed in the bear costume he'd worn to cheer Burns up one time, the mental image causing him to laugh quietly to himself as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

- o - o - o -

"_You've replaced me now haven't you Monty! Admit it!" The bear spoke in it's cute little childish voice. It was Bobo, Burns' beloved childhood toy that he had just recently reunited with and cuddled at night with on occasion. _

"_I don't know what you mean! I haven't replaced you!" Burns exclaimed._

"_Of course you have!" The bear snapped at him angrily. "You're just prejudiced! Just because I'm not a human like your beloved Waylon! We used to be so close! You sicken me!" Bobo crossed his arms angrily._

"_But Bobo, you'll always be my first love." Burns crouched down on his knees, ardently pleading with him. "No one could replace you."_

"_Ha! Well you can just bite my furry brown ass for all I care! As of now, we're through!" Bobo turned and began to walk away._

"_No!" Burns cried dramatically, the sound of sad violin music coming from nowhere._

_Before Bobo had gotten too far from his sight, he turned around and yelled something to Mr. Burns, his voice dramatically more masculine than he remembered._

"_Hey! Are you two alright?"_

"_Hm?" Burns asked confusedly._

"_Come on! Wake up! This is the police, no need to be alarmed!" The bear called out again, his voice still deeper than usual._

"_What? I don't understand." Burns stared back at Bobo with a blank look on his face. Why was he even talking to the bear in the first place unless he were dreaming? Burns looked at his surroundings for a moment, noticing that there was none, only blackness surrounded them with a spotlight shining over the area they were standing in. It was a dream. If it were a dream then he was free to do as he wished._

_Burns pondered the possibilities for a moment, he could swim in a room full of money, but that was getting a bit boring even in the real world. Before too long he heard the voice calling out to him again, most likely someone talking in the real world. What was going on in the real world anyway he wondered._

"_Hey! I said wake up! You guys aren't dead are you?" the voice said._

_Burns suddenly felt himself falling as the ground opened up beneath him. As he neared the bottom of the pit, he felt his spirit slamming back to reality and awoke with a jolt._

- o - o - o -

Burns felt someone stirring next to him, it was Smithers. How long had they been asleep anyway? He blinked his eyes a couple of times, the dim sunlight quickly alerting him that it was early morning already. It was then, that he spotted the policeman that stared into the window. He squinted as the man's flashlight glared into his eyes uncomfortably.

"Well good morning starshine." The fat officer spoke in his nasally voice. It was Chief Wiggum.

Smithers suddenly sat up straight, wiping his eyes with his hands for a second before rolling the car window down to speak to the officer. Burns was mortified! He had been caught sleeping with his arm around his assistant and he only hoped the officer was stupid enough to not know what was going on.

"Hello there officer." Smithers coughed, running his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"You two kids just get back from the prom last night?" Chief Wiggum laughed.

"Ah, no. We were uh... Actually, we were... It's a funny story really!" Smithers stammered.

"I'm listening" said Wiggum. Burns rubbed his forehead, preparing himself for whatever lame excuse Smithers would dream up.

* * *

**A.N – Yes, we're all listening. Wonder how he's going to 'splain that one? **

**I actually feel sorry for Bobo. :/**

**To be continued.**


	27. Arrested for That?

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Arrested for That?**

It was such a strange predicament they had found themselves in. Only moments earlier, he had been off in dreamland, Burns snuggling up against him; his subconsciousness conjuring up all sorts of amorous scenarios involving Mr. Burns and himself. When he had awoken, the first thing that caught his attention was the flashlight glaring in his eyes. His first instinct was to protect Mr. Burns lest it be a potential attacker; after all, the side of the road wasn't the safest place in the world to fall asleep.

It was a huge relief seeing the badge pinned to the officer's shirt and the familiar, witless face of Chief Wiggum peering in through the window. The relief was short lived however, when the chief began questioning him from the window.

"You see, we were on our way home from a charity banquet and the car started acting up." Smithers explained, looking over to Burns who had an uneasy look on his face.

Just then, he saw another police officer approaching the car, one he recognized as Lou. He was one of the more competent and by far, the most intelligent of officers in the area. It would be much harder to pull something over on him.

"Uh Chief? Everything alright here?" asked Lou, surveying the scene before him.

Smithers reached for the door handle and got out of the car, quickly smoothing his hands over his clothes in a futile attempt to make himself more presentable. Of course, he could always explain his appearance as the result of sleeping in the back seat of the car all night. Then he would be faced with having to think up a reasonable explanation as to why they'd slept in the car in the first place.

"It seems these two had a little car trouble last night." Wiggum answered.

"Oh, really?" asked Lou, pausing as he caught sight of Burns exiting the car, his appearance a dead giveaway as to just what kind of night they'd had. It was written all over him. Fortunately, Burns had the foresight to zip his pants, though his shirt looked as if it had been hastily buttoned, a few of the buttons in the wrong holes and forgoing the top ones altogether with his bow tie draped loosely, untied around his neck. "Well apparently something happened here last night." Lou remarked shrewdly.

Smithers gulped, wishing that Mr. Burns had just stayed in the car. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his boss, of their relationship, but he knew just how much Burns valued his privacy and his only hope was that the whole indecent wouldn't be headline news in the tabloids the next day.

"Mr. Burns? Is everything alright here?" asked Wiggum. "You look like you've been mugged!"

"Oh, I-I'm fine!" Burns laughed his nervous, high pitched laugh. "Nothing out of the ordinary here gentleman. Just having a little car trouble as Mr. Smithers said." Lou turned and walked towards Burns' car, looking down at the street.

"Well Chief, there does appear to be skid marks over here indicating the vehicle swerved off of the road." Lou pointed out the streaks that Burns' car had left. Chief Wiggum moved closer to examine them.

"Oh yeah, I never noticed that before." Chief Wiggum turned back, speaking to Smithers in his official authoritative cop voice. "Is that what happen last night? You swerved off of the road?"

"Yes." answered Smithers, a little too quickly. "I... saw a deer... yeah, a huge deer jumped right out of nowhere and I lost control of the car!" Smithers exclaimed.

"A deer? But that still doesn't explain the car trouble and why you didn't call for help." said Wiggum. His prying questions were becoming harder to explain away and all he really wanted was to get rid of those cops somehow so they could start heading home.

"Well... my cell phone ran dead and I... I didn't really feel like walking all the way to town to get to the pay phone." said Smithers.

"Do you guys need a ride back to town?" asked Lou.

"No, actually I fixed the car last night and after that well... I figured I was too tired to be driving, so..."

"Good man," said Wiggum, patting him on the shoulder, "you wouldn't want to fall asleep behind the wheel."

"Chief, don't you think... maybe we should just let 'em go." Lou suggested, tugging on Wiggum's arm.

"No, wait. I just don't get it." Wiggum shooed Lou away, seemingly unable to let the subject go. "Why would you fix the car and then fall asleep out here 'till morning? It's not all that far of a drive."

"Well..." Smithers replied uncertainly, knowing how lame his story was beginning to sound.

"Chief..." Lou called, impatiently crossing his arms.

"What?" asked Wiggum.

"Come on."

"But I wanna know! I have an inquiring mind!" said Wiggum as Lou tugged on his arm again. It seemed that Lou was more sympathetic to the whole situation than Smithers had anticipated and he was grateful for that much at least.

"Maybe you'll understand when you're older; now let's stop pestering them." Lou sighed as he lead Chief Wiggum back to the squad car. Smithers could still hear them arguing as they walked away. Sometimes he wondered just how the man ever managed to become Chief of Police in the first place.

"But that's our job!" he heard Wiggum exclaim. "We're supposed to pester people because we're the cops!"

They finally drove away, leaving Burns and Smithers alone on the side of the road. Last night had been unbelievable. Never had he imagined that his relationship with his boss could be so real, so tangible. He hadn't even been able to process it all before the cops arrived.

If, for whatever reason, Burns actually decided to reject him, he knew it would be a crushing blow, but now he could say that at least for one night, Mr. Burns had been all his. At least he'd had one perfect night with the love of his life and he didn't even want to dwell on the possibility that Burns wouldn't want him after that.

Now that a new day was upon them and he actually had time to take a breather, he wondered how best to approach Mr. Burns first. The occasional car passed by, but other than that, they were all alone standing near Burns' car, the early morning breeze rippling the grass by their feet. Burns leaned against the back of the car, sliding his shoe nervously along the grass. Smithers always thought he looked cute and so nonthreatening when he was nervous and he couldn't help the smirk that crept onto his face as he approached him. He reached out to straighten the buttons on Burns' shirt and then his tie. Burns finally slapped his hand away like he always did whenever Smithers became overly obsessive over him.

"Stop fussing over me. I'm just going to take it all off anyway when we get home." Burns complained.

"Oh? I think I could help you with that." Smithers grinned. Burns sighed irritatedly and turned away from him, walking around the car towards the door.

"Just get in the car." Burns grumbled.

- o - o - o -

"Well, it could have been worse. It could have been Gloria that found us." said Smithers as they rounded the corner, nearing Burns' house. Gloria, being Burns' ex-girlfriend that was a cop. Not really the best topic of conversation at the moment. If she had been the one that had gotten out of that squad car, Burns was certain he would have died from embarrassment right then and there.

They didn't talk much for the rest of the drive. He wouldn't really call himself angry at Smithers, despite his grumpy attitude; it was just his normal reaction to uncomfortable situations. It was the shock of waking up so suddenly to those cops that was was so unsettling. Whenever cops were involved, it usually didn't turn out very well for him and for a while, he feared that they might even arrest them. He wasn't even sure if what they'd done was even legal since it wasn't like he ever kept up with modern laws on such things.

"Sir, I'm sorry." Smithers said. "I should have just driven home while you slept in the back."

"It's nothing. I asked you to stay with me so forget it." Burns replied hastily. He had no desire to argue over it as it would mean having to relive the whole embarrassing cops incident, not to mention, bringing up things about their night together that he was unwilling to speak of at the moment.

"Are you angry?" Smithers asked. Burns noted his assistant's fingers plaited firmly around the steering wheel wheel, a hint of angst in his voice.

"No." Burns answered.

"Oh." Smithers paused a moment, his grip on the wheel loosening a bit as he began to tap his fingers pensively. "Well, you just seemed like... like you were."

"Well I'm not! What is there to be angry about? I'm not angry!" Burns yelled.

"You're just kind of... edgy. That's what I meant."

"Well what do you expect? With everything that happened, we're lucky we weren't carted off to prison!" Burns argued heatedly, leaning back against the seat. He knew Smithers meant well, but it never failed to irritate him whenever anyone asked him how he felt, especially when he was already _edgy_, as Smithers put it.

"Prison?" Smithers laughed. "Well, it was in a public place so... let's just be glad the cops couldn't prove it!"

'That's not what I meant. I mean... isn't it illegal for... you know," he hesitated, uncomfortable even keeping the conversation going, "for people of the same gender to..."

"What? You can't be serious!" Smithers laughed in disbelief. "It's been going on for thousands, even millions of years; it's not illegal, not in this part of the world! It's not likely that they could ever effectively enforce such laws anyway. I can't believe you thought we would get arrested!"

"Smithers! That's enough! Honestly, you of all people, having fun at my expense?"

"I'm sorry sir. It's not all that funny."

"You're damn right it isn't! I was scared out of my wits! I wish I hadn't even brought it up!" Burns pouted, his arms laced over his chest again as he stared out through the window.

"Well, I thought it was a little funny..." Smithers uttered under his breath, though Burns chose to ignore him.

Finally, it was still a little past sunrise and they had reached the gates of Burns Manor. He couldn't remember the last time Smithers had brought him home at such an hour. Once they'd gotten inside, Burns began to let his own apprehension get the best of him as he sank down tiredly in his favorite wing back chair in front of the fireplace. It wasn't like he'd had sex with just anyone. This was Smithers; someone he had to see everyday and he couldn't just kiss him goodbye until the next date like he'd always done in past relationships. Smithers was with him constantly and he knew it would be a challenge dealing with this one.

Burns sat there in the living room, not really knowing what to do with himself as he waited for Smithers to pass by. It was Sunday morning, about a quarter past six and right about then, Smithers would be in the kitchen preparing breakfast. In all the years that had past, somehow his assistant had managed to easily slip into a role similar to that of a domestic partner. There was never any romance involved until now, but if he hadn't had Smithers by his side, he might have more actively pursued looking for a wife to help him around house. With Smithers there, he didn't really see the need. Occasional flings with various women over the years had kept the romance in his life and Smithers kept up with all his other needs so he never needed marriage and the times that he did become engaged, never turned out very well either. Maybe having a wife just wasn't in the stars for him.

"What would you like with your toast sir?" asked Smithers, peeking in through the doorway. Then again, maybe he already had the equivalent of a wife with Smithers.

"Surprise me." Burns replied, distractedly. For once, he wasn't interested in the specifics of what to have for breakfast.

"You mean the 'walking in naked' kind of surprise or..." Smithers joked, his voice echoing from the kitchen.

"No! Just make the damn food and quit fooling around!" Burns squawked angrily, despite his own amusement at the comment.

"Right sir!" Smithers laughed. Could it really be so uncomplicated that they could joke around so flirtatiously? Somehow, he'd thought that having such a relationship with Smithers was supposed to be more difficult than that. He felt no regret for the night they'd shared in the car, quite the opposite in fact. He just knew that he would never be able to sit in that seat without remembering it all. All of those few stolen moments, the lust that burned within them both. A love that he'd never considered another man capable of providing. Now that they were all alone in the house, the whole day off with nothing else to do, the prospect of Smithers coming on to him again was still a little intimidating, knowing that he could resist him no longer.

Still, the paranoid side of him found it hard to believe that everything would work out perfectly. He still worried about what impact it would have on everything. He kept waiting for the catch; the one thing that would ruin it all and leave them worse off then they had been before. Perhaps he was letting his own unjustified paranoia get the better of him.

- o - o - o -

Smithers had been as jumpy as a rabbit all morning and felt lightheaded from all of the excitement. He kept waiting for something to ruin his new found love with Mr. Burns since it seemed almost too perfect to be true. Burns seemed irritated, but that wasn't all that unusual for him. His boss had a tendency to switch between moods fairly easily anyway. They had the whole day ahead of them and Smithers was eager to spend every minute with him and only hoped that Burns didn't have any plans.

Once he was finished cooking breakfast, he grabbed a plate and sat down at the other end of the long table, way across the room from Burns, out of habit. He occasionally would eat breakfast with Burns unless for whatever reason he was dismissed early. The distance made it a little difficult to even speak to him without having to yell. Smithers picked up his plate and cautiously sat a couple of seats away. Burns continued reading the Sunday paper and occasionally taking a bite of his toast. He probably hadn't even noticed Smithers had taken a seat near him.

Smithers took a sip of coffee as he considered bringing up a particularly pressing question that he was just itching to ask. He actually had a billion questions for Burns, but he had to be careful; his boss wasn't one for revealing too much of himself to anyone. Smithers cleared his throat in hopes of getting his attention.

"Mr. Burns?" he asked. A long silence passed before Burns even acknowledged him.

"Hm?" he replied distractedly, not looking up from his paper.

"Uh, h-how's the coffee? Did I make it too strong?" Smithers asked, opting to keep with the small talk at first.

"It's fine."

"And breakfast? How about the cinnamon rolls? I baked them last night so they aren't really freshly baked..."

"They're fine Smithers." said Burns as he continued to read.

"Sir... I-"

"Smithers," Burns interrupted, lowering his paper and looking at him irritatedly while he spoke, "what do you see me holding in my hand?"

"The newspaper?" Smithers asked.

"Not simply the newspaper. The _Sunday_ newspaper. Now what does that tell you?"

"I'm sorry sir. I won't disturb you." Smithers apologized. Burns clearly wasn't a morning person, at least that much hadn't changed. Moments later, Smithers just couldn't resist interrupting him yet again.

"Monty, I just have to know..." he started. Mr. Burns sighed as he abruptly laid the paper down on the table, giving up all plans of getting any reading done. He tapped his fingers impatiently on the table as Smithers spoke.

"You know you don't have to answer, but... I'm just curious. I mean, as far as I know, you've never been attracted to a man before so... why now?"

"Ha... You're not a man. You're just Smithers." Burns snorted in amusement.

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean? I am too a man!"

"Technically yes, I suppose." Burns thought for a moment, "Bah... why do you have to analyze everything to death? Can't you just be satisfied with the way things are without questioning it? You're no different than the others I've dated."

"So does that mean we're actually dating then?" Smithers joked, knowing it would only further irritate his boss, something that was becoming somewhat of a game with them lately.

"Wha-, I-I don't know! Does it really matter what you call it?" Burns exclaimed, his face beginning to turn a bright shade of pink. "If we do happen to go anywhere, then you can call it a date if you wish, I don't really care."

"But seriously, why are you even remotely attracted to me?" Smithers asked. "I'm not exactly the Greta Garbo type that you usually go for." Both were silent for a bit, until Burns slowly ran his fingers along edge of the newspaper, succeeding in distracting Smithers as he watched the subtle moment, remembering just how those same fingers slid so teasingly across him last night.

"I would like to get back to reading my paper if you don't mind; however, if you must know... I honestly, don't understand the attraction myself. I guess maybe I... maybe it's the way you... always know what I want? ...the way you make me feel... important, worshiped is more like it." Burns paused, "Not to mention you aren't such a bad-looking fellow..." Burns muttered, the last comment spoken so low that Smithers barely managed to catch what he'd said.

"Yeah?" Smithers urged him on, eager to hear what else he had to say. After it was clear that Burns was going to remain tight lipped about it, Smithers added, "You think I'm hot don't you?"

"I...I said no such thing!" Burns asserted.

"I can be rid of these clothes and in the bed in record time; just say the word!"

"Waylon! I... don't know what you expected, but I'm n-not some kind of sex machine! I'm not a raging nymphomaniac like yourself!" Burns stammered, his face turning even a deeper shade of pink that Smithers took great pride in causing. Conversely, Smithers began to relax more, not quite so careful with his words as he usually was. He gripped onto the sides of the chair, trying to suppress his laughter.

"Relax! I was only joking sir! You know, you're even more adorable when you're fuming with rage!"

"Well, could you save the jokes for later?" Burns huffed as he picked up his newspaper, straightening it and holding it up to read, effectively blocking him from sight. "I'm in no mood for such buffoonery this early in the morning."

"Certainly, I guess I just wasn't thinking with my head."

"Hmph, apparently." Burns retorted.

- o - o - o -

Burns sat on the antique sofa, flipping through the channels as he stared absentmindedly at his big-screen TV. They had just finished breakfast and Burns wasn't really sure what he wanted to do that day. He stopped on the cooking channel, not really interested in what the chef was making, but he had to stop on some channel as he was beginning to wear out his clicking finger. Smithers entered the room, standing by the couch with his hands clasped behind his back, watching the TV. Burns became a little self conscious.

"So what do you want to do today?" Smithers asked suddenly.

"I didn't really have any sort of plan in mind." Burns lied. He actually had a couple of things in mind, like going out to dinner, playing a round of golf or two, going to the park or perhaps even making out on the couch and seeing where things led to from there, but he wasn't about to reveal that plan just yet. They had the whole day to themselves, yet he still wasn't sure if he wanted to spend the whole time with him for fear that he might begin to suffer from Smithers-overload.

"So maybe we could do something later?" Smithers suggested hopefully. "I mean something like going to a movie or maybe checking out that new golf course downtown? I've actually been hitting the driving range a lot lately, perfecting my swing."

"Smithers, it's nice that you feel the need to keep me entertained, but don't you think we've seen about enough of each other for one day? Don't you have anyplace you need to be?" Burns asked, a little disappointed in himself that he wasn't quite as brave as he'd hoped. He really did want to go somewhere with Smithers, but his old habits were proving to be hard to break. He hated the look of disappointment on Smithers' face, all caused by his own stubbornness.

"Oh, well... I guess I do need to stop by and feed Hercules." Smithers paused, "Any particular reason your trying to get rid of me?"

"I'm not trying to get rid of you! I just thought... it would be better if I had a little time alone. At least until lunch time."

"Oh." he replied gloomily.

"Smithers, I didn't mean it like that..." Burns flipped the television off and stood up, taking a few cautious steps towards him.

"No I understand." he said, looking away as if slightly hurt. Smithers was a little too emotional for his own good sometimes, thought Burns. This was going to be tricky, Burns bit his thumbnail as he considered how to explain.

"I meant that... I'm a little overwhelmed with everything, the constant contact. I've always needed a little bit of alone time anyway. Maybe after you check on the mutt we could maybe... "

"I know, you don't have to explain." Smithers turned away, preparing to leave. "I do have a few things I could be doing today. I'll just go get my jacket and I'll be out of you're way."

"Smithers wait!" Burns grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. Burns walked around him, stopping directly in front of him to prevent his leaving. "I... I really could use you're company... later." Burns spoke slowly, reaching out to brush the back of his hand comfortingly across Smithers' cheek. Smithers gasped, meeting his eyes just as Burns leaned forward, kissing him. Smithers leaned into him as if his feet were a little unstable. The kiss lingered on a bit with the same dizzying effect that he'd always felt with Smithers. Burns finally pulled away, hoping that he'd made his point perfectly clear that he wasn't trying to get rid of him.

"You don't want me to eat lunch all alone do you?" Burns asked, his arms still around Smithers, leaning against him.

"Of course not! What are we having?" Smithers asked cheerfully.

"I don't know, what ever you decide to cook." Burns replied.

"Oh, ok."

"Well, order Chinese food for all I care; food is the last thing on my mind." said Burns. "Later on, we can have the rest of the day to do whatever it is you had planned." he added. Smithers pulled him closer, kissing him again and falling down onto the couch with him. Both becoming lost in the moment.

* * *

**A.N. - Aw, too cute. I'm making myself sick from the cuteness. -_- There are still a few chapters left so keep a look out for more! I've started another fanfic centered around Bob/Bart that I hope to post soon because I know that there are a lot of Bort fans out there. Still doing a bit of research about the prison and legal systems since it will be part of the story. Even whenever I do research, none of the information normally gets used in the story anyway, but useless trivia is nice to know, especially if you're into beating your friends at jeopardy.**

**So I'll be working on two stories for a while, this one taking priority at the moment. :)**

**Also, be on the look out for another Bloodlust chapter. After all, we never really saw what happened to Baines after he committed himself to certain death by laying out to fry in the sun. Surely you didn't expect it to end quite like that?**

**To be continued.**


	28. Bitten and Lovestruck

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Bitten and Lovestruck**

They had been there on the couch for nearly ten minutes, nothing but lips and roaming hands to occupy themselves with. They were still wearing the same clothes that they had worn during the banquet but had quickly stripped off their coats and shoes and resumed their make-out session. It was still hard to grasp the fact that Burns was actually a willing participant and actually kissed him back with just as much passion.

Burns had grown a bit of confidence, placing his hands along the back of Smithers' neck and pulling him closer, his lips pressed softly against his and slipping his tongue in sneakily. Smithers let out a surprised gasp as he felt Burns' tongue running across the sensitive area along the roof of his mouth, the tickling feeling driving him wild.

"Mmm...mm!" Smithers whined when Burns pulled away abruptly.

"Waylon, y-you're... crushing my ribs!" Burns managed to utter as Smithers' weight pressed him against the cushions of the couch.

"OH! I'm sorry!" Smithers apologized, shifting himself so that he wasn't squashing him. "Maybe you should be the one on top from now on!"

"How can I when you're always throwing yourself on me without warning?" Burns asked. Smithers chuckled, remaining right where he was, on top of Burns despite his previous comment.

With all of the kissing and hands groping everywhere, all of the excitement had left him in such a state of arousal that all he could think of was Burns naked and all of the possible scenarios that would go along with it. It was a true test of his patience not to completely lose all self control that he had.

Smithers kissed him again lightly on the lips, his hand trembling from excitement as he slowly ran his fingers across Burns' side, feeling the prominent ribs through his shirt. He slid his hand down further, across Burns' stomach and finally daring to venture even lower between his legs, squeezing a bit and reveling in the little gasp from Burns, anticipating such a reaction.

He was rather content with the position they were in and made no motion to move until he felt Burns shifting uncomfortably beneath him. He pulled away a little, noticing the nervousness written all over Mr. Burns, his eyes darting away when he noticed Smithers watching him.

Of course all of this was so new to the both of them, but Burns was taking his anxiety to a whole new level. He was even starting to make Smithers nervous. They had already done a lot more than just kissing by now, yet Mr. Burns was still so hesitant.

"Monty..." Smithers started, unsure what it was he wanted to say. Burns was just looking up at him, his eyes wide as if waiting for him to continue.

"What?" Burns finally asked irritatedly after a long pause.

"Can't you just relax? I mean, you are suppose to enjoy this... at least a little."

"Waylon, I know this is going to sound ridiculous..." he trailed off, leaving Smithers impatient. He suddenly looked so distant as he appeared to be considering something.

"But...?" Smithers prompted.

"Nevermind, it's nothing."

"I get it. I'm moving too fast for you, am I right?" Smithers asked, smoothing a finger down Burns' neck playfully. Mr. Burns tried to squirm out from beneath him so Smithers reluctantly climbed off of him and sat down onto the couch next to him.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now, maybe later." said Burns. It was clear by his actions and demeanor that something wasn't quite right. Something was definitly bothering him and Smithers started to worry. "You are coming back later this afternoon right?" Burns asked. A weak smile crossed Smithers' face, knowing that this was just Burns' way of politely asking him to leave.

"Well, there's no other place I'd rather spend on a Sunday than right here with you." Smithers replied causing Burns to look even more flustered and uncomfortable.

"That's enough of that, you just go along now and... maybe when you get back we could go out for a round of golf or something and then later... maybe we could... finish what we started here." said Burns softly. Had he heard Mr. Burns right?

"Yeah?"

By the way Burns was blushing, he pretty much figured out the kind of night Burns was hinting at and he almost wished he could fast forward to later that night when there would be nothing but himself and the love of his life all alone in Burns' huge mansion. One thing was for certain, he didn't think he could make it through the rest of the day as he was already about to die of anticipation. Now that he was so addicted to Burns' love, he wondered how he'd ever managed to go so long without it. He was begining to like Burns' little habit of letting his hands creep so lightly beneath his shirt and across his back and he couldn't wait to find out what other habits the man might be keeping a secret.

o - o - o -

Mr. Burns walked Smithers to the front door to see him out. Just as Smithers stood there awkwardly in the door frame, Burns did something that he never imagined even attempting to try before. He leaned forward and kissed Smithers goodbye on the cheek. After he did it, he felt ridiculous like one of those sitcoms where the couple would kiss at the door before one of them left.

Smithers laughed nervously, touching his cheek briefly before finally turning around to leave with a lovestruck look on his face and almost tripped as he walked backwards, almost falling down the steps. Burns reached a hand out to warn him but Smithers caught himself and managed to remain upright. Burns then watched as he got into his corvette and left.

As the door shut behind him, Burns finally exhaled and leaned against the door. His heart was hammering against his chest yet again. He couldn't remembered feeling like that since he was a teenager. He was pretty sure that much excitement wasn't healthy for anyone. They could have just as easily made love again just a few moments ago. Smithers certainly seemed more than willing and they had the whole house alone, but Burns just couldn't get over that lat bit of nervousness that held him back. He knew full well that, given Smithers' surprisingly voracious sex drive, he was going to want to try something new and Burns wasn't really sure if he wanted to go that far yet.

Smithers' story had given him the impression that it would hurt for the one on the receiving end. He was sure he would somply chicken out at the last minute and he didn't like the idea of being such a disappointment. Even if Smithers was the submissive one, he was still a little nervous about how different it would be and whether or not he would even have the endurance for it.

Then there was something else that had troubled him since the beginning and that was the fact that he had played a large part in raising Smithers after his father had died. He was a big part of little Waylon's life and every time they were together he could still see the little bespectacled scamp that used to play around his office and had eventually grown into someone that very much reminded him of his old friend Waylon Sr. What would Smithers' father think if he knew he was sleeping with his child? Of course, he was a man now, but whenever Burns kissed him or even looked at him lately, all he could see was flashbacks of that little kid and it was disturbing. He now understood the torment that Baines went through being in such a similar situation and dealing with the fact that he had feelings for someone that he still remembered as a child.

o - o - o -

Smithers sat back in his chair finishing up and proofreading his latest chapter. He wanted to make sure it was perfect before Burns read it since he had really seemed interested in reading the rest of it. Now he had a bit more pressure on him to write everything well and was starting to feel a little performance anxiety himself. Not only with Burns reading the chapter, but also he felt anxiety over possibly making love with Mr. Burns again.

This time, he had the feeling that more would be expected and he was excited and nervous all at the same time. Burns seemed hesitant to do anything other than kissing and when Smithers had so boldly slipped his hand over Burns' crotch, Burns immediately seemed to become more withdrawn and he felt a little guilty that it he appeared to be rushing him. Then again, Burns was the one to suggest getting together later that night to 'finish what they'd started' as he put it. Perhaps giving him a little time alone was the best thing so maybe he'd have the time to relax a little.

Smithers breathed a sigh of relief, satisfied that he had written the chapter to the best of his abilities. Hercules hopped into his lap as he sat in front of his computer, rereading the chapter for a sixth time that day.

- o - o - o -

_He had been asleep for a while, still in the field, bereft of all clothing and lying in wait for the sun to ascend above the horizon. The sight was almost hypnotizing, staring out to the east through the trees and waiting. Waiting and remembering. Remembering camping in that very spot so many times with Wallace. Remembering all of his one-hundred and four years of life and knowing that he had cheated death many times over only to willingly give it all up now instead of having to face the shattered reality that was his life._

_After falling asleep for a while, he was slowly returning to consciousness. He felt almost numb, unaware of his surroundings or even whether it was night or day until the light slowly filtered through his eyelids. _

_Very slowly, the world greeted him to consciousness. The first thing he noticed was Wallace's hand still in his, still a bit of warmth left in him, yet slightly cooler than he was earlier. He didn't know how long the twilight had been upon him, but he had made no motion to escape for non-existence was much more enticing than the alternative. In his mind, he had lived long enough anyway. Very slowly did his consciousness begin to register the fact that his body becoming weaker as the sun drained him. Soon it would start to sting and he was already too weak to escape the sun's deathly rays even if he'd wanted to. He couldn't see the sun yet, but the light at the horizon indicated that is was indeed near._

_He was too numb from shock to mourn and too weak from the early morning light so all he could do was lay there and listen to the rustling of the grass and the wind howling in the distance and think about how strange it is that he'd rarely ever noticed such sounds before. He'd heard that right before death, the senses were heightened and now he knew that to be true._

_He kept his eyes closed, now hearing the sound of something moving through the grass, most likely just a dear or a boar. I__t sounded to big to be anything else so he continued to ignore it until he heard it coming closer. __He finally became curious and opened his eyes and that's when he saw a heavily cloaked figure in many layers dark robes, standing before him. The scent and stance the man took made it unmistakable as to the identity of the individual._

"_Lycius, noble knight. Come to save the down trodden have you?" Baines spoke wearily. __Lycius stepped forward, pushing the hood of his cloak back a little so he could see. He then reached a hand out to Baines._

"_You think I would let you die out here without giving me one last kiss?" Lycius smirked, yet Baines could still see the look of panic in the vampire's eyes._

_You're probably the only one left that would care what happened to me." Baines smiled, the sadness of the fact of just how lonely his life had become in a few short hours saddened him."Please, just leave me be. I believe I have long outlived my welcome on this earth."_

"_Mortimer you are coming with me. The sun is fast approaching." Lycius walked over near the tree and picked Mr. Baines' cloak up off of the ground and then brought it over, crouching down beside him on the ground. "Here, you're going to need this. The sun is-_

"_Why don't you respect my wishes and leave!" Baines yelled, his voice weak and strained, the pain and anguish finally returning like a freshly cut wound. Lycius leaned over him, his black and white streaked hair tickling his face as he spoke._

"_You will wear you're cloak, wrap it tightly 'round you, and wait here under the shade tree while I take Wallace somewhere to recover." he spoke sternly as he stared him in the eye._

"_He's dead. It is useless."_

"_Look at Wallace for a moment would you?" Lycius asked. "Just look at him. Don't you notice anything?"_

"_Do I really have to repeat myself? He is dead!" yelled Baines, angry at the fact that Lycius made him acknowledge that fact even more. His eyes began to well up with tears. "I can't bear knowing that my last memory is of him dead and covered with blood!" Lycius placed his hands on either side of Baines' face and began to speak harshly._

"_Look at his neck! I have bitten him!" Lycius exclaimed, pausing a moment, giving Baines a chance to fully register what he was saying. Baines eyes widened with shock. Lycius let go of him and he looked over to see that he did indeed have the mark of a vampire's bite upon his neck. A bite that requires near death, giving the venom a chance to react and transform the victim. "In a few short hours, if he makes it through, he will be one of us." They both looked over to the young man lying just a few inches away. Baines brushed his fingers lightly over the fang marks. He didn't have a pulse yet and he was almost too afraid to get his hopes up. What if it didn't work? If it did, it would be a long shot. A glimmer of hope had returned on what seemed a hopelessly ill-fated night._

**_o - o - o -_**

**A.N. - There it is. Chapter 28. I never had any idea this would turn into a nearly thirty chapters! I think someone guessed that Wallace would die and come back as a vampire, but I stayed quiet about it until now. Excellent guess TourmalineTrue! I believe it was you that guessed wasn't it? I left a pretty cryptic clue a few chapters back in Lycius' prophecy saying that someone would die a mortals' death. Well, that part was true. He died a_ *mortal's*_ death and now we get to read the next time to see if or how the process of vampire transformation will work.**

**Oh! And Lycius broke a major law of the vampires! Never bite the vampire apprentice of another vampire! He was a bad boy... but it was for a good cause. Lets just see if it works. If it doesn't, Baines will still have Lycius to keep him warm at night. Okay, we all know Waylon wouldn't write it that way since Wallace is sort of like his Mary Sue character... or I should say "Gary Stu". XD**

**I seriously have no idea what's coming next since my story outline only went as far as the banquet and the sex scene with Burns/Smithers LOL. There probably aren't many chapters left though. I do have a vague idea of what happens when they get to work on Monday though.**

**Coming next: How will Smithers ever make it through a day of golf if he's lusting over Burns all day? It's sure to be funny. I'm not even sure what's going to happen.**


	29. Farewell Coyote

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Farewell Coyote**

It was almost noon and Smithers was due to be back any minute. He'd gone out with Smithers to more places than he'd been with anyone during his whole life, many of them quite romantic locations such as five-star restaurants or to business retreats to exotic locations. To actually consider such an outing as date would be a new experience, that much was certain.

"What's wrong with you Monty?" he asked himself wearily as he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The man looking back at him looked worried, apprehensive and down right fidgety. He wasn't himself. Normally so confident and in control of every situation, especially when it came to the art of seduction, the man that looked back at him now seemed meek and self conscious in comparison.

He'd never noticed the slight crow's feet that had slowly crept up on him over the years. When had they appeared? Burns leaned closer to his reflection, attempting to smooth the lines away with his fingers, but to no avail. A sudden flashback of his mother crossed his mind, standing in front of the mirror in an eerily similar fashion. As a small child, he had no idea what she was doing and thought it very peculiar behavior. So what now? Was he slowly turning into his mother?

His hair was already a lost cause, but now wrinkles? Wrinkles were meant for people that smiled and laughed a lot. Other than the occasional evil laugh or snicker, he never really was one to make a habit of smiling. Then again, at his age, he should be thankful that he didn't look completely like a California Raisin like the old geysers at the retirement home. Compared to them, he had it pretty good. Despite the occasional stiff joints, he had been spared many of the hardships that most seniors had to endure. He was nowhere near retirement as far as he was concerned, he could dance circles around men half his age, and he still had a sex life, which was damn near remarkable for someone of his years.

Smithers obviously worshiped him, so maybe worrying so much was a waste of valuable time and energy. He never worried so much when he was with a woman so why now? Maybe it was a fear of the unknown. Maybe it was the result of growing up in a time when homosexuality carried much more stigma and was more of a schoolyard joke than anything else, a thing to be whispered about but never spoken of. Perhaps the whole taboo aspect of it was what made it exciting. He never did like playing by the rules anyway.

Once, he had come across a show called Will and Grace, expecting it to be a family sitcom and couldn't deny that he was kind of shocked by the audiences whoops and excited cheers when the two guys kissed. For all he knew, maybe homosexuality was something that was seen as hip these days to the youngsters.

He stood in front of the mirror, straightening his shirt. Of course, Burns always wore the customary golf attire, donning a green plaid vest with a matching hat, khaki pants and most importantly, his white, cleated golf shoes. It was nearly time for Smithers to return and Burns was starting to sweat, his heart beating a little faster as he looked down at his watch which was nearing ever closer to noon. He just had to get out all of his last minute jitters before hand and he would be raring to go. Burns straightened his shirt again as he looked at his reflection, standing a little straighter in an attempt to at least look a little more confident in himself.

"Come on Monty! Don't be such an invertebrate! Grow a spine!" Burns stated harshly in a tone that uncomfortably echoed his uncaring grandfather's berating words with a most uncanny accuracy. The man that very much shaped who we was today. Burns shook aside those uncomfortable thoughts for the moment, continuing his own little pep talk.

"You're a grown man for Pete's sake! Don't let that little rapscallion affect you so! You're the one in control, not him!" Burns stated confidently, his stance gaining more of the usual menacing stature that had come to personify him.

"It's just a regular outing, it doesn't have to be a date." he reminded himself.

"DING DONG" the doorbell chimed, startling him.

"Surely that wouldn't be Smithers, he never rings the doorbell." said Burns, puzzled. "Unless... this is a date then." he sighed, checking himself in the mirror one last time before leaving the room to answer the door. Despite all of the nervousness he felt, he couldn't deny that he was more than just a little excited about Smithers' arrival.

- o - o - o -

Smithers stood just outside of Burn's front door, still uncertain whether or not he should have rang the door bell or simply have walked in like he always did. It seemed like an eternity, waiting there at the door and he was about ready to just forget the formality of waiting and go on in when the door finally creaked opened to reveal a very nervous looking Mr. Burns on the other side. He was adorable as always in his golf clothes and Smithers was taken quite speechless at the sight of him.

They both stood there for a moment, both waiting for the other to say something. Smithers stuffed his hands into his pockets for lack of anything better to do with them. After a bit, Burns finally sighed in irritation.

"This is ridiculous. Why don't we just go and get this over with?"

"Wow, someone sounds eager." Smithers leaned closer, his hand resting on Burns' shoulder. "We're just going out for a round of golf, one of your favorite pastimes in case you've forgotten."

"Right. Let's be on our way then shall we? The green awaits." said Burns in a tone that sounded like mock enthusiasm. Burns stepped out and locked the doors behind him and the two then headed to the car. Smithers felt himself blushing furiously at the memory of what had occurred the last time they had been in that car.

- o - o - o -

Smithers couldn't say that he had ever been very enthusiastic about the game itself, but the long hours he had spent caddying for Burns over the years were some of the best times of his life. One could even say that it was the main place that they had bonded over since Smithers was a child. Hours upon hours out there on the green, the serenity of the gracefully sloping fairway, the vast, well manicured terrain; it was all time that was well spent with the object of his affection. Sometimes they were with a group of Burns' rich friends, but often it was just the two of them and even then, they always had a real sense of camaraderie between them. Those were the times where the stress of the plant seemed far away and Burns let his real personality shine through. Those were the times that Smithers really believed that Burns saw him as more than just an assistant, but a real friend. The time they'd spent together out on the golf course was priceless.

Of course, Smithers knew the mechanics of the game, but had never really had many opportunities to put his knowledge to good use. He was actually more content being the caddy anyway. Now there was the added pressure of trying to play the game without making a complete fool of himself.

Upon their arrival to the golf course, their first stop was the pro shop that had all types of accessories and everything one would expect to see in a shop dedicated to the game of golf. Mr. Burns didn't seem very impressed by the establishment, it being a public course. If he was, he surely didn't show it. However, Smithers was quite impressed. The staff was very kind and helpful and the shop was chock full of merchandise that most pro shops never had in stock.

Unfortunately, Smithers had to lag behind and watch from the sidelines as Burns browsed the shop. It seemed the cashier was someone from Smithers' past; a guy that he'd had a short lived fling with in his younger years.

The guy was all wrong for him, yet Smithers had found himself unwittingly reeled in by his magnetism. He was a heavy drinker, heavy smoker, and always surrounded by his own little entourage of admirers that he seemed to grudgingly tolerate. The man lived the life of a rock star, yet he never seemed conceited or stuck on himself; all he really cared about was the music, not love, not friends, just music. After a while, his band sizzled out of the limelight and he went off on his own, never to be heard from again and no one really knew what became of him.

It was a confusing time for Smithers back then, coming to terms with his growing attraction to Mr. Burns, his own sexual identity and working through those stressful college years. He was just surprised that someone like that would be interested in a nerdy college boy like himself. He supposed it was all just because he was young, immature and liked the attention. He never even learned the man's real name; everyone simply called him Coyote.

Smithers dove behind one of the store shelves, peeping through the white metal grid of the shelf, between the boxes. The man stood behind the register, casually flipping through a magazine. He had really cleaned himself up over the years and Smithers never thought he'd see the day when the guy was clean shaven and wore a tie; however, he still had his trademark shaggy, dirty-blond hair. He'd be lying if he said the guy wasn't still as attractive as ever, but truthfully, he had never really loved anyone but Mr. Burns. Coyote was nothing more than a novelty of his youthful indiscretion.

Now, all Smithers wanted was to keep the past in the past. He didn't want to have to explain things to Mr. Burns, especially now that things were finally heating up between them. He didn't want to chance it.

It was becoming quite challenging, keeping an eye on Mr. Burns and Coyote at the same time. Mr. Burns seemed to be in his own little world, admiring golf bags a few aisles down, while Coyote continued browsing through his magazine, waiting for the next customer to check out. Smithers managed to sneak over to where Burns was without being noticed.

"Sir, aren't you ready to go yet?" Smithers asked urgently, placing a hand on Burn's arm and looking back towards the register where his old flame stood.

"Not yet, I'm busy." Burns shooed him away, too interested in the golf club that he was currently holding in his hand, closely inspecting. It was a lost cause trying to rush Burns, but he didn't want to just leave him in the shop alone either.

"I just thought, maybe you were getting tired of shopping. I can't wait to get out there and practice my swing!"

"Are you rushing me Smithers?" Burns placed the club back into the golf bag and glared at him angrily. "What has gotten into you? I'll take as long as I want! I might even decide to hang around even longer if you keep hassling me!"

"But Sir!" Smithers exclaimed, his resolve breaking. He knew he would be better off just telling him the truth, He took a deep breath."The truth is... there is this guy here and I don't want him to see me. Someone I knew long ago." This seemed to pique Burns' interest.

"An old friend?" Burns raised an eyebrow. If Smithers didn't know better, he'd almost think that sounded like a hint of jealously in his voice.

"It's... complicated. Can we talk about it later?" Smithers asked. Burns eyes suddenly diverted to a spot behind Smithers. That was when he was caught off guard by a sudden familiar voice from behind.

"Waylon? Man, it's been a long time since I've seen you. How's it hangin'?" Smithers' body stiffened up at the sound of his old love's voice. He turned around reluctantly to greet him.

"Hi there. Yes, it has been a long time." Smithers quickly scanned the shop, spotting the exit, his only escape route. He wanted nothing more than to be out of that room and as far away from that man as possible. It wasn't that he didn't trust himself around Coyote, he just couldn't let anything come between him and Burns, especially his past.

"I thought I recognized your old man over there. I was hoping you wouldn't be too far off." Coyote quickly flicked the hair out of his eyes like he had always done.

"Oh, Mr. Burns. You remembered him?" Smithers asked.

"How could I not? He was all you ever talked about." the guy laughed. Of course their relationship was short lived, only a couple of months, but during that time, he did gush an awful lot about Mr. Burns to anyone that would listen, often to the point that he got the feeling that people began tuning him out.

"Yeah well we're... he's my uh..." Smithers struggled to come up with a suitible response. What was Mr. Burns to him now anyway? How do you introduce someone to your boss/lover? Especially when the words still sounded so new and foreign in reference to Mr. Burns.

"I'm his boss." Burns jumped in, apparently sensing Smithers discomfort. Just great. Now Burns was going to think he was ashamed of him, not acknowledging their relationship when he was merely trying to respect Burns' privacy. He'd understand wouldn't he? "I just thought I'd take the lad out and test his skills on the course." Burns added.

"That's nice of you. My boss is a major killjoy. I have to do all his dirty work and he expects me to even hand squeeze his orange juice! F-ing ridiculous!" Smithers looked back and forth to the two of them, still plotting his escape.

"Smithers? Aren't you going to introduce me to your... friend?" Burns asked, crossing his hands behind his back and looking at him expectantly.

"This is uh... Coyote?" said Smithers, wondering whether or not people still called him that.

"The name is Chris. That was just my name back when I was with the band."

"Chris? That's funny. I don't think I ever really knew your first name." So his name was Chris? It seemed strange to date someone for two months and only now to learn the guy's real name. At least it was only small talk. So far so good. Hopefully the conversation wouldn't progress further than that and they could be on their way, his relationship with Mr. Burns still intact.

"Hey Waylon? What ever happened to that wife of yours that I heard about? You still with her?"

"No, we divorced many years ago."

"Ah, that's too bad. I guess I ruined you for the ladies huh?" Chris laughed. Smithers eyes darted to Burns.

"Actually... there was someone else. I was in love with someone else, so the marriage was doomed from the start." said Smithers, deciding to quickly switch subjects. "What ever happened to you? Everyone made up so many outrageous rumors. Someone actually said you joined the circus and married the bearded lady."

"What? Hell no! To tell you the truth, after my band broke up, I sort of drifted around... all self-destructive and all. You know how it goes. Then I ended up here and got a real job for once. Not very exciting." Chris paused for a moment, a whistful look crossing his features as he reflected on his past. He quickly changed course, leaning uncomfortably close to Smithers and actually edging Burns out of the way. "So, you want to get together later? Catch up on old times?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to pass. It was good seeing you though uh... Chris."

"We had a lot of fun back then remember?" said Chris slyly. "You always stayed up so late studying and I always tried to distract you remember? Those were good times. Hey, you remember the night the car conveniently ran out of gas and I tried to convince you to-"

"Woah! Look at the time Mr. Burns!" Smithers interrupted loudly, jumping in between them. The conversation was getting way out of hand and Smithers was becoming even more flustered by the second! "Isn't it time for your medication? Wouldn't want to go into anaphylactic shock now would you? Of course not! Now let's go!" He blurted, tugging Burns' arm. Burns seemed unwilling to follow, pushing his hand away.

"No wait, I think I want to hear this one. Something went on in the car with you two? It wouldn't happen to be something that happened in the back seat by any chance would it?" Burns asked, the venom in the way Burns said it made Smithers cringe. This wasn't going to end well. Smithers wanted to say something, he tried to say something, but nothing came out. He just stood there foolishly gaping at the two of them. He never thought he'd see the day Burns would be jealous over him!

"Well, since you asked... The car stalled and Waylon was all ready to rush off to the nearest gas station. Little did he know, it was all part of my evil plan to-"

"Sir, I-" Smithers interjected, Burns stopped to look at him, his piercing stare almost too much to bare; he just had to look away. He turned his sights to Chris "Please! That's enough! No one wants to hear about that!" Smithers pleaded, his heart pounding in his chest and heat rushing to his cheeks which were on fire.

"So, could I still call you sometime?" asked Chris after a few awkward seconds.

"I'm sorry, I-" Smithers uttered.

"How about tonight? Are you busy?" Chris asked. Smithers was taken aback by the man relentlessness, still finding it difficult to speak.

"Uh... I can't. I'm sorry, but we really have to go. Come on Mr. Burns." Smithers grabbed onto Burns' arm and attempted to leave, but not before hearing Chris sneak in one last attempt at getting laid that night.

"Hey, you seeing anyone now?" he asked. Burns wrenched out of Smithers' grip and closed in on the guy, confronting him.

"As a matter of fact he is seeing someone you uncouth, shaggy-haired hooligan! Now would you kindly stop bothering him so we can get back to our date?" Burns snapped angrily, the sudden realization of what he had just said coming over him. Burns looked about as shocked an any of them, yet remained resolute in his declaration.

"Date?" The shaggy haired guy looked confused and a bit put off by the thought of it, as if he'd never heard anything so ridiculous in his life. "Dude... I had no idea you were into antiques." he said mockingly. Before Smithers could respond, Burns jumped at him.

"Antique? Those be fighting words you disrespectful-" Smithers grabbed him from behind, effortlessly holding him back as Burns shook his fist angrily. Smithers looked around, all the commotion was beginning to cause a scene. Obviously, this guy thought that their love was a joke. He had to say something, anything in Burns' defense.

"Your right. I happen to love antiques!" Smithers spoke defiantly, still holding Burns at bay. "Antiques are just like fine wine that only grow better with age. Classic, timeless, full of class that you could never even hope to possess." Burns stopped his struggling to listen to the scene that was playing out before them.

"Look, I didn't mean anything by it man. I just thought... I mean you call him sir and all... How was I to know?" Chris stumbled over his words clumsily. Smithers released Burns from his hold.

"Goodbye Coyote." Smithers turned and headed for the exit, not checking to see if Burns was following or not, yet hoping that he was. He had addressed him as Coyote. Only after he had left the building did he realize the symbolism of it. Saying goodbye to Coyote, not Chris, was like saying goodbye to a part of his past. To living the life of going out with people he knew he would never love as much as his beloved. Every relationship he'd ever had, had always felt wrong and it always felt as if he were cheating on Burns, thus the reason why he'd gone his whole life going through one failed relationship after another. He certainly wasn't about to blame Mr. Burns for his years of unhappiness. After all, the past was the past, no pointed dwelling on the years lost. Then again, perhaps they were never really lost years, since he'd been by Burns side the entire time, not as a lover, but certainly as one that loved and provided companionship. He had Mr. Burns now which was all that really mattered anyway.

* * *

**A.N. - I know I always apologize for going so long between posting chapters. Well, this time I really mean it. Not that I didn't all the other times, but I've just been really depressed lately. I'm getting over it now- I think. Until something provokes my anger again. I wrote about it on my deviantART journal so I don't want to go into detail all over again about it here.**

**Actually, the idea of writing Burns/Smithers fic did sort of freak me out years ago, which is why I started writing it. I like writing things that seem like crazy ideas at first and trying to make them work. I have since become a huge Burns/Smithers fan. I also thought that they would be a safe couple to write about since there are only a handful of Burns/Smithers writers (albeit a very small but talented group) so the real fans would probably be starving for even more fiction for the fandom. And if I wrote it crappy, it wouldn't matter since any new fiction is welcome for such an obscure pairing. If I wrote Harry/Draco, Kirk/Spock or some other couple that is very popular with readers, there is a certain standard that the fans expect. I didn't know if I was really up to it.**

**Up next: The game of golf is a lot like love. The analogies are endless.**


	30. Dirty Golf Lingo

**Chapter Thirty: Dirty Golf Lingo**

Sounds of wind rustling through the trees and the rippling water of the nearby lake greeted them as they approached the teeing grounds. It was one of the many reasons that Burns had such an affinity for the game. He took a deep breath, inhaling the warm summer air as he waited for Smithers to catch up. Smithers had insisted on carrying both golf bags even after Burns had offered to hire a caddy. He was born to serve, that much was certain.

"Ah, isn't it beautiful Smithers?"

"What is sir?"

"Look around you. Every course comes with its own unique set of challenges and attractions. It demands respect from all that enter its domain from its graceful curves to it's treeline borders; why the very nature and beauty of the course itself is comparable to that of a beautiful lady." Burns laughed, remembering who he was talking to. "Of course, I don't suspect that's the sort of thing you would understand hmm?" he nudged Smithers playfully. Smithers looked to the ground, hands clasped behind his back, but Burns could still see an amused grin on his face.

"Well sir, when you look out over the landscape, you may see a beautiful lady." Smithers finally looked up, meeting his gaze, "all I see is you."

Burns found himself caught up in the depths of that bespectacled stare momentarily. How he ever managed to deliver such a beautifully eloquent line like that was a mystery, yet those eyes were enough to melt anyone. Words that were directed solely towards him. How do you even respond to something like that?

Burns finally drew his eyes away and walked over to his golf bag, taking out one of the clubs, his heart pounding as he felt Smithers watching him. He took a deep breath and prepared to swing. He reared back and then struck the ball with a loud clack, sending it soaring into the sky until it became a white speck, plummeting down into the distance. He brought a hand up to his forehead, shielding his eyes from the sun and squinting to see where it landed. It wasn't the best shot, fading off to the right a bit, but it was impressive nonetheless, especially now that Smithers had agreed not to cheat for him anymore.

"Very impressive, I know I won't be able to beat that shot!" Smithers cheered. Burns knew it was just Smithers' way of sucking up, but hearing such words of praise, no matter how truthful they were, always cheered him up. He had the feeling that Smithers sucking up all those years had a big part in giving him such a big ego.

"Indeed. Now how about you give it a try hm? Show me what you've got! I'd be interested to see how much you have learned from watching a pro like myself!"

"Alright, I'm no virgin when it comes to golf, but I don't have much experience. You might have to... show me some of your moves." said Smithers in a slow, flirtatious tone as he passed in front of Burns. He got the driver out of his bag and place the golf ball on the tee. As he prepared to swing, Burns noticed right off the bat, what an amateur his assistant really was. He wasn't even holding the club right.

"No no NO! You're doing it all wrong!" Burns yelled, waving his hands. "If only Sam Snead could see this, it'd kill him!" Burns complained, Snead being one of his favorite pro golfers.

"Uh, no chance in that happening sir, he died years ago." Smithers replied.

"What? Oh... well he'd probably roll over in his grave if he saw your lousy excuse for a swing."

"Really? I could have sworn I was doing everything right." Smithers scratched his head confusedly, looking rather clueless about it all. "Aren't you supposed to just hit the ball as hard as possible and hope it lands on the green?" Burns looked at him speechless. Was he really so clueless about the game?

"Essentially yes, but there is more to it than that!" Burns started, pacing back and forth as he spoke. Smithers watched him intently as one would a teacher. "First there is wind speed to contend with, then there is the natural layout of the course, but before we even consider those obstacles, you really should work on your grip! My mother can hold a golf club better than you!"

Smithers once again took his golf stance, displaying yet another failed attempt and holding the club properly. Burns sighed. It looked like he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. He walked up behind Smithers and placed his arms around him from behind, causing him to jump. A slight smile worked its way to the corners of Burns' mouth from Smithers' reaction, but Burns spoke in his usual unmoved, authoritative manor as he continued the lesson.

"Now, when you grip your wood-"

Smithers' sudden muffled snickering interrupted his instruction causing Burns to wonder whether or not he'd said something inadvertently funny, as was the case often whenever he spoke. Knowing Smithers, it was most likely just a part of his perverted sense of humor.

"Just remember to keep practicing like I show you and you'll be able to get your balls in the hole every time." said Burns.

"Uh, I don't think that's how its' done, but hey, if that's what turns you on..."

"Wha-?" Burns exclaimed, thankful that Smithers couldn't see the embarrassment he knew was showing on his face. "I've had enough with your blatherskite! Are you even taking this seriously?"

"Sorry sir."

"You must make sure to keep a firm grip on the shaft." Burns squeezed Smithers' arms slightly, prompting him to take a firmer grip. "The one I have here is called a driver and it is the biggest club in the whole bag."

"I always knew you had a big one sir." Smithers remarked. Burns raised an eyebrow. That one hadn't flown so easily over his head. Burns had never noticed how dirty golf lingo actually sounded until now and it was kind of amusing now that he thought about it. His hands brushed over Smithers wrist as he guided them to the proper grip.

"Now, keep your thumb tucked in, left hand over right." said Burns.

"But I'm right handed sir. Shouldn't it be right hand over left?"

"Right handed you say? Almost everyone else is left handed, it is so common. Leave it to you to be the freak." Burns joked.

"Actually sir, Springfield has a considerably higher prevalence of left handed people. Compared to the rest of the population, the ratio of..."

A sudden thought occurred to Burns, drowning out Smithers words. It seems his assistant knew more about proper grip than he was letting on. It was then that he finally started to catch on to Smithers' little plan. This was all just a clever ruse. Smithers wasn't such an amateur; he couldn't be. He just wanted to play helpless so they would end up in the position they were in! Burns arms around him, holding him close. Burns caught himself lazily grazing his fingers across Smithers' wrist and stopped. How long had he been doing that? Was he that distracted?

"You have to... to remember to move your body, not just your arms." Burns muttered, his voice becoming softer.

"Is that so?"

"And you have to move your hips a little more." Burns placed his hands on Smithers' hips causing him to lean into him subtly as if to gain more contact. Had that been deliberate? Perhaps both of them had leaned in a little closer because Smithers was pressed against him in such a precarious position and it was really becoming distracting. He could barely even remember what his next sentence was suppose to be.

"Your feet. They should be... a little further apart. A-atleast shoulder width apart." he placed his foot between Smithers' feet, nudging them. Smithers obliged, moving his feet further apart, in the process, Burns had somehow found himself into an even more awkward position with his knee up between Smithers legs. He felt Smithers' whole body tense, and heard him gasp sharply, almost like a hiss. Despite the awkwardness, Burns was beginning to like the way he could affect Smithers. It was the thing that was decidedly most attractive about his assistant, the way they made each other feel. The way that just a simple action could turn Smithers into a pile of putty. Smithers had somehow managed to turn his whole idea of attraction, the very laws of attraction that he'd played by his entire life, upside down. Now, Burns could easily have a little fun with the position they were in. He slid his hands a little higher up Smithers' arm, still well within the guise of golf instruction, and leaned a little closer to Smithers' ear to speak.

"You have to... remember to keep your eye on the ball." Burns said slowly, his voice low. He leaned closer, his mouth barely an inch away from Smithers' neck.

"I thought... that... that was just baseball." Smithers mumbled. Burns closed in on an area just below his ear, his lips coming into contact with the unusual feel of stubble. The rough texture and masculine smell seemed so exotic, so foreign. It was definitely something that he was starting to become accustomed to. With his arms still around him, he could feel Smithers' breathing becoming heavier. He soon moved up to Smithers' ear, grazing his teeth lightly across the plump yellow flesh of his earlobe, anticipating the little desperate whine that Smithers always made and taking great pleasure in causing it again. His hormones seemed as if they were on overload and he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not because he was sorely tempted to take Smithers down to the ground and play a different sort of game on the grass no matter who happened to stumble across them.

Burns tightened his grip, his hand sliding up to Smithers' chest. He slowly licked his tongue across Smithers' earlobe and shifted his knee slightly between Smithers' legs. The fact that they were in public added another level of risk and excitement to everything. Smithers moaned, this time low, and gravelly almost like a purr. They had to stop! Someone was sure to catch them any moment and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't let things go any further. Not there.

"Smithers, take me home. I want... I think we should... leave." he whispered, finally letting go of Smithers.

"I'll get the car started." Smithers replied breathlessly.

* * *

**A.N. - Yes! Chapter 30 finally! I feel guilty for making you all wait. Not that I'm some prolific writer or anything, but I do know at least a few waited eagerly right? :P Unfortunately, this chapter was a pain to finish. Not because it was boring to write, actually I had a lot of fun writing it. It's just that I had a few technical difficulties and accidentally deleted the chapter as soon as it was finished. I had to practically rewrite the whole thing from memory. What happened was that I had these little kids that wanted to use my computer for a bit so I had to rush and hide my fanfiction from such untainted eyes. They were practically breathing over my shoulder waiting so I panicked and hid it in the recycle bin. Don't want the kiddies reading M-rated steamy stuff like this now do we? LOL Anyway, when I went to retrieve it, I must have pressed the wrong thing and before I knew it, all of my hard work was destroyed. Forever lost to cyber heaven.**

**Anyway, after a couple of migraines, two cups of coffee, and an all-niter, I managed to do a scan on the hard drive (cuz I'm smart like that XD) and I retrieved the next chapter (chap. 31) which was almost completed. Sadly, this one had to be rewritten, but I definitely think it turned out better than before. Lesson learned? 1. Don't store things in the recycle bin. (guess I'm not all that smart o_O') 2. Don't let snotty little kids on your computer no matter how sad of a puppy dog face they make!**

**On a brighter note, my spell-check only found three errors!I used to have many more. (not including the authors' notes) Though, it doesn't correct my occasional misuse of commas and other puntuation. I'm sure there is still some errors that made it through my radar like always. If only my spelldar was as sharp as my gaydar, then I'd be in business.**

**Up next: Smexy, slashable slashyness ensues! 'bout time isn't it? Be forewarned. Is Burns up for it or will he let his apprehension get the best of him? That's the only description that I think really fits. :P Remember, the time to back out was many chapters ago. Don't like slash then sorry. Read something else.**


	31. Do Not Disturb

**Chapter Thirty-One: Do Not Disturb**

They had went out to play a game of golf and hadn't even made it through the first hole. It was all good childish fun at first, laughing at how dirty the language of golf sounded. He was pretty sure he even heard an amused snicker from Burns once or twice, but then, he began to notice that Burns was becoming even more distracted, his voice become softer and he was even absentmindedly brushing his fingers along his arm.

Burns had been close that he could feel him breathing as he spoke and by that time, he wasn't even trying to comprehend what was being said anymore. Then, when he felt Burns lips on his neck, he gasped and was sure he'd actually forgotten how to breath for nearly a minute.

The entire car ride, he had been debating with himself on whether or not he should say anything before they got home; after all, whenever he spoke he usually only messed things up. He couldn't afford that, not when things were still teetering on the edge as they were, yet he still couldn't stop himself from saying something.

"Thank you for the ah... lesson. It was really..." Smithers started, unable to find the right words to finish.

"Hmm." Burns responded quickly. Of course Burns wasn't too eager to delve too far into the subject; that much was apparent. Smithers hesitated, the words on the tip of his tongue, pestering him to press Burns further.

"So, do you have any plans for later?" Smithers finally asked, comfortable that his question wasn't too prying. "You seemed to be in quite a rush to get home. I could pull over again if you want..." Smithers inwardly cringed; that last comment had been delivered not quite as delicately as he had hoped.

"Smithers!" Burns exclaimed with annoyance. "Whatever depraved ideas my actions might have given you... forget it. I just want to go home." Through the mirror, he could see Burns sitting there with the usual scowl on his face, arms folded across his chest defensively. "And not for any of the reasons that you may think! I have some important business to attend to." Burns added.

"Hmph," Smithers snorted amusedly, speaking under his breath, "could have fooled me considering you were practically almost humping me like a dog."

"What was that Smithers?" Burns asked, leaning in closer to the driver's seat intimidatingly.

"Oh... nothing." Smithers sighed, a grin tugging the corners of his mouth.

Once they had pulled into the driveway of Burns' mansion, Smithers parked the car and stepped out to open the door for Burns. He waited near the door and watched as Burns stepped out, straitening his green plaid vest before heading to the front door. Smithers stayed by the car watching, lost in his own thoughts, unsure what might happen when they entered the house. Should he simply go on about business as he normally would or would Burns want something more. His mind made up, Smithers finally shut the car door, hurried up the driveway and up the steps to catch up to him at the door.

"SMITHERS!" Burns called suddenly, crashing into Smithers as he turned around abruptly in the doorway. He suddenly found his arms full of Mr. Burns, stumbling to steady himself as he'd almost lost his balance."I thought you were... way over there." said Burns.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that." Smithers apologized. Burns averted his eyes to somewhere in the distance, clinging onto him for a few seconds as if disoriented by the collision.

"Uh...You can let go now." Burns muttered.

"Oh, right." Smithers laughed weakly. Being so close to him was so distracting. Just remembering the feel of him, remembering being in the back of the car, unbuttoning Burns' white tux, his fingers shaking nervously.

Even though it was only yesterday that he'd last felt that warm skin beneath his fingers, the memory was still fresh in his mind and he could barely think straight. Since then, he'd been so clumsy and absent minded, spilling two cups of coffee, staining Burns' living-room carpet in the process and tripping over nearly everything in sight. Just seeing Burns now, standing there in the doorway was enough to cause the heat to rise to his cheeks. Burns held eye contact with him briefly. He too, looked affected by the close proximity they shared. Burns finally turned around, entering the house and motioning for Smithers to follow.

"Well, don't just stand out there all day like a rag doll. You might as well come on in while I change."

Smithers did as he was told, following in Burns' lead, up the curved staircase and down the hall. As they neared Burns' room, his level of anxiety and excitement mounted. Smithers stopped at the end of the hall, watching as Burns entered his bedroom. Smithers heart raced. They'd be all alone in Burns' room, nothing but the two of them and Burns' huge bed. It was almost like every daydream he'd ever had only this time it was real and nothing was guaranteed. Reality was rarely anything like fantasy and anything could go wrong. Burns might not even want to do anything more with him that night. He had so many thoughts rushing past all at once, until Burns' voice interrupted.

"Smithers? Aren't you coming? Or do you expect me to do everything myself?" Burns voiced echoed down the hallway, snapping him out of his stupor.

"Oh." It was all he could say, even though Burns' statement could be taken so many ways, he was thankful that Burns still wanted his help. He entered the room, looking to the right to find Burns sitting on the edge of the bed and unlacing his white golf shoes. Before Smithers could make a move to offer any assistance, Burns spoke.

"Could you fetch me a nice cold glass of lemonade? I feel rather famished after such a lively round of golf." Burns requested calmly, his eyes never straying from his shoes as he fiddled with the laces. Lively round of golf? Smithers scoffed at the idea. This was just a ploy to buy himself some time. Perhaps Burns was more nervous than he was letting on; at least he knew that he wasn't the only one.

"Of course. Anything you want sir." Smithers replied, his gaze lingered on Burns a moment longer before he finally turned and exited the room. So far everything was as normal and that was what had him so puzzled. Why then, was Burns in such a hurry to get home? It's not like he really expected that Burns would be throwing himself at him the minute they entered the house, but he had expected something more that just their normal routine; it was a bit disappointing.

Smithers opened the fridge, took out the pitcher of lemonade and poured it into a glass. He even placed a little umbrella in the glass, something that Burns thought was silly at first, but had grown accustomed to over the years. Now, whenever he left out the umbrella, Burns would always question him on it.

Once he made it back up to the room, he stepped in and was caught off guard at the sight before him. Burns was still sitting on the edge of the bed, his green plaid vest laying on the floor next to his shoes, but it appeared that he had somehow gotten his white, long-sleeved shirt stuck up over his head, his arms stuck helplessly up in the air.

Smithers shut the door discreetly and sat the glass of lemonade down on the round night stand near the door as quietly as possible, so as to keep his presence hidden. He just had to take a moment to enjoy the view and it was a real struggle just to keep his laughter in check. Burns, sitting there squirming so helplessly, the shirt over his head preventing him from seeing anything. It would be a shame to let such an opportunity slip by. He inched closer, thankful that the cushy, lavender carpet muffled his movement. He had Burns right where he wanted him and could easily have a little fun with the vulnerable position he had him in. His hands, which were in his pockets, were almost itching to reach out and touch him.

"I... umph... I think I can... I just have to get it past my elbows... uhh!" Burns grunted, encouraging himself as he struggled against the confining material. Smithers took his hands out of his pocket and reached out, excitement mounting, breath catching in his throat as his hand trembled slightly, mere inches away from the exposed area of Burns' chest. Should he even attempt it? At last, his fingertips graced Burns' flesh, causing the older man to jump.

"Smithers?" Burns asked uncertainly. He could feel Burns shivering beneath his fingertips as he slid his hand all the way down his chest, past his ribs until he reached the waistband of his slacks.

"I thought I told you to keep your hands to yourself!" Burns exclaimed. Smithers sat down, facing towards Burns, one foot still on the ground, the other folded comfortably, drawn up beneath him on the bed.

"Oh? I don't remember you telling me anything of the sort." said Smithers, playfully drawing little circles along Burns' exposed belly, eliciting a surprised gasp from him. "If I remember correctly, I seem to recall someone in this room having quite the difficult time keeping their hands to themselves out on the golf course!"

"Smi-! I... I-I don't... I don't know what you're playing at, but..." seeing Burns so vulnerable and almost speechless was somewhat of a novelty, the humor of the situation emboldening him.

"You seem to have gotten yourself into a real bind there. Need any help?" Smithers explored more, his fingers brushing along Burn's chest as lightly as a feather.

"Smithers p-please!" Burns yelped. "I've had about enough of your hijinks, just get me out of this shirt would you?" he pleaded, a hint of panic showing through in his tone as he struggled against the shirt.

"I can see you aren't into bondage then." Smithers laughed, feeling a twinge of guilt over the unfair advantage he had over his boss. He finally pulled the shirt up over Burns' head effortlessly, causing Burns to fall back against the bed. Burns sat up a little, leaning back onto his elbows and staring back at him with a questioning look on his face.

"What? What kind of sick minded individual would gain amusement from being bound up like roped cattle?" asked Burns with disgust. It was exactly the kind of reaction Smithers expected from him. The man's innocence when it came to such touchy subjects like that was one of his more adorable qualities certainly proving that he was definitely from a different time. Burns sat up and reached for the glass of lemonade on the side table and took a sip.

"I suppose that that's the sort of thing that would turn you on eh?" Burns asked mockingly, trying to conceal the knowing grin he had behind his glass.

"W-Well uh..." He should have known better than to tease Burns like that. He adjusted his glasses nervously under Burns' intense scrutiny "I-I guess some people... not necessarily me of course... actually like... b-being... being ordered around, completely under someone else' c-control" He felt his face growing even more red the more Burns observed him, his expression one of amusement.

"Kind of like you eh?" Burns laughed, reaching over to set the glass back on the table, then lying back on the bed. "Despite the ties and binds, you're already completely under my power aren't you?" he added smugly, swinging his legs childishly for a bit as they hung over the edge.

"Uh..." Smithers responded. No truer words could be said. He definitely was under Burns' complete control and he wouldn't have it any other way; though, he did wish he could find the sense enough to speak in complete sentences. That was unlikely, considering that his blood flow seemed to have found better places to go that his brain at the moment as he was continually distracted by the sight of Burns half naked, reclining back against the mattress, quickening his already rapid heartbeat.

"Phtt, that figures." said Burns, sitting back up, turning towards him as he spoke. "Of course the idea of being held captive wouldn't appeal to someone like me. You, however..." Burns' hand suddenly grazed over his, fingers brushing ever so slowly across the top of his hand and sending chills up his arm and he was certain that he must be covered in goosebumps by now. Burns' hand slid higher, stroking his wrist deliberately with his thumb. Smithers bit his lip with anticipation, eager to see where this would lead.

Burns moved towards him, his eyes nearly closed as he leaned closer. Their lips touched briefly, for one sweet, tentative moment, then several more times. Each kiss more deliberate until Smithers found himself leaning into him more, one hand pressed gently against his chest, no real force behind it, suggestively guiding Burns back onto the bed as he sank down with him.

Smithers accommodated to the new position, aligning more of himself on top of Burns, their lips readily meeting again, albeit a bit cautiously at first. Smithers' hands roamed leisurely over Burns' stomach, playing over every inch of exposed skin he could find and reveling in the fact that Burns allowed this. He moaned softly as Burns' tongue swiped across his, as sweet as lemonade. It was still unbelievable that they were lying there in Burns' bed, beneath the violet canopy. Years and years he had waited, years that he'd never be able to get back, were all coming to fruition as he found himself becoming even more lost to Burns' touch. He felt fingers slowly creeping along his back until they found their way beneath his shirt, traveling further, nails dragging light scratches across skin.

Smithers shifted his attention away from Burns' mouth, scooting lower to kiss further down his body, savoring every inch that his lips came into contact with. His eyes closed, blindly kissing across Burns' chest, all the while his hands roamed over Burns' flat belly, daring to move further down, over one prominent hipbone and moving lower still; however, his hand stopped when it came into contact with the noticeable hardness through the khaki material. His eyes darted to Burns' face, searching for any sign of distress before continuing any further. He had the same adorable, wide-eyed expression he'd had on their first encounter and it was all he could do not to ravish him right then and there.

He placed his hand back to Burns' trousers, evoking a rather desperate, barely audible moan from Burns, his fingers clenching into tight fists. So many times, he'd imagined what Burns might look like, his usual sinister features transformed with lust, overcome with a desire that he had provoked.

"Monty... are you..." Smithers started, biting his lip as he was unsure how to put forth such a difficult question delicately. He had wanted to ask if Burns was taking any sort of sexual aid or medication, but he just couldn't bring himself to ask. The man deserved to keep at least a bit of mystery about himself; he could allow him that much. The issue could always wait until another time; however, at the moment, he had his hands rather full.

"I suppose you need help getting undressed... sir?" Smithers teased, stroking his fingers over the the hardness that he had proudly provoked from him. He had a slight smirk as he thought of how many times he'd actually heard himself say those words, only this time, with much different reasoning behind it. Burns' tried to speak, but his only response was a gasp.

"I'll take that as a yes." Smithers moved to the zipper on Burns' pants. Flash backs of the night before raced through his mind like some erotic slide-show as he carefully reached in, his cool fingers making Burns' jolt. Burns' breath hitched in his throat as Smithers worked his hand down and back up again. He had to force himself to move slowly at first, but it was a real challenge. He couldn't wait to push Burns to the edge, to watch him melt with passion at his fingertips, but he continued slowly, allowing him to acclimate to the rhythm. His eyes flitted to Burns' face, noting the lustful and absolutely endearing blush that complemented his features as Burns watched inquisitively. Burns moaned, collapsing back against the bed as if finally allowing himself to give in to what ever Smithers had planned.

Smithers ran his fingers up and down a couple of more times before lowering his head, his tongue slipping out across the tip, slightly disappointed at Burns' lack of reaction. Far from discouraged, Smithers licked all the way up his cock, then slid his mouth down over the the head, his tongue flicking quick, light strokes on the underside. He knew that would get to him. He felt Burns tensing up as he slid down lower until he took the whole thing in his mouth, stopping when he felt it graze the back of his throat. Burns gasped. Smithers, looked up briefly, but he couldn't see Burns' face from his vantage point. He knew he must be doing something right when he felt fingers slowly weaving through his hair, gripping lightly, his hips thrusting upwards once as Smithers moved his mouth back down over him again, devouring him.

Countless minutes passed, but it felt as if time had stopped. Burns' had become harder, his hands gripping tighter within Smithers' hair as he enthusiastically continued his exploration with his mouth and using his hands for more coverage. Smithers gave a quick tug on Burns' pants, sliding them down another inch or two, giving him even more access. Burns was practically panting with need. He finally pulled his mouth away, but continued keeping up the same momentum with his hand. He couldn't wipe the slight grin from his face, knowing that he could provoke such a reaction from Burns. He turned his attention back to the task at hand, fingers sliding rapidly over the slick surface.

"Smithers." Slim hands closed around his wrists, pulling his hands away. Smithers looked up curiously at Burns' red-tinged face, his eyes closed. "I'm feeling awfully naked over here being the only one in the room that's half dressed... seems a bit unfair, don't you think?" Burns spoke his intentions subtly.

"I-I suppose..." Smithers replied. "And how do you propose that we level the playing field?"

"No more talking." said Burns, speaking in a hushed, sensuous tone as he placed a finger on Smithers' lips "Why don't you go ahead... take off your shirt so I can see that spray-on tan you're always going on about. I could use a laugh." Burns smirked. It was apparent that he was eager to get some of the attention off of himself for a while, perhaps even desiring gaining a bit more control over the course of events. Surely Burns wasn't used to being so passive.

Smithers couldn't seem to keep the slight grin from his face no matter how hard he tried. He pulled his shirt up over his head, throwing it along side Burns' shirt in the floor and exposing himself to the cool air and to Burns' view. He was a little embarrassed; Burns had already seen him naked a couple of times in the past, but never under such close scrutiny and he felt a little self conscious for not working out as often as he could have. Would Burns even like what he saw considering all of his past lovers had been women?

"How is that? Are we even now?" Smithers asked, offering the full view of himself, his chest rising and falling as he breathed.

"Who said I wanted us to be even?" Burns replied smugly, looking up at him with an amused look on his face. "Why not take the rest off while we're at it."

Smithers smiled, his eyes downcast shyly. He hadn't expected such a bold request, but was more than happy to oblige. He would indulge Burns in anyway he possibly could, but that didn't mean he wasn't as nervous as hell. His cheeks burned from embarrassment and he felt himself flushing all over as he unbuttoned his white shorts, pulling them down past his hips and onto the floor, then quickly kicking off his shoes without bothering to unlace them. Next would come the underwear. He hooked his thumbs underneath his waistband, unable to look up at Burns as he tugged his white briefs down, his erection springing out from its confines.

He sat up on his knees, finally glancing at Burns' face. What he wouldn't give to know what the man was thinking in that very moment as Burns studied him from head to toe. Now what? Why wasn't Burns saying anything? His expression was hard to read. Burns brought a hand to his mouth, rubbing his thumb across his lip as he often did when he was lost in thought. He waited a couple of seconds, seconds that felt agonizingly like hours as he waited for Burns to make his move, any move.

"I suppose now... we're more than even hm?" Burns finally sat up, and reached for him fingers creeping along his back. Though, Burns didn't physically have the strength to pull him, Smithers allowed himself to be led down to Burns' level, lying down onto his stomach next to him. Burns' hand roamed lightly over his back.

It was then that the unthinkable happened. A loud ringing sound erupted, sounding throughout the room. It was his cell phone. Smithers buried his face into the mattress; he wasn't sure if it was in defeat or to keep from screaming, probably a mixture of both.

"DAMN!" Smithers swore loudly. He felt Burns' hand leave him and he got up off the bed and rummaged through the clothes on the floor until he found his phone. He irritatedly answered the call.

"What do you want?" Smithers snapped angrily, his voice blaring into the phone.

"Geez, cool it would ya? You alright hon? You sound a little... frustrated." came Stella's voice from the other end of the line. He looked over to Burns whose eyes were full of curiosity and some other emotions that he couldn't decipher.

"I'm sorry. I just... I have. I was in the middle of something." Smithers replied, trying his best to reign in his annoyance.

"Oh? Did I catch you in the tub? Please tell me you aren't on the toilet! Gah... my boyfriend used to call me while he was taking a-"

"This is all fascinating, it really is... but like I told you... I'm... I'll call you later." Smithers quickly hung up even as he heard her still talking.

"A friend of yours?" Burns asked.

"Just Stella." said Smithers, laying the phone on the the foot of the bed. "Well that was pretty bad timing." Smithers laughed weakly, slumping over as he stood next to the bed, hands pressed into the mattress. He hung his head in defeat. Great, now the moment was ruined. Burns was more than likely to just roll over and fall asleep now.

"Smithers, I want to try something." came Burns' soft voice, snapping him from his disillusioned, frustrated state.

* * *

**A.N. - Steps back, takes a look at chapter... So how was it? Hope it was as good for you as it was for me! XD Seriously, thanks for all that have stuck around for the ride. I have learned a lot about writing with my first fanfic.**

**Up next: Part two of Burns' and Smithers' little escapade.**


	32. Smithers vs Bobo

**Chapter Thirty-two: Smithers vs Bobo**

He had watched on curiously the entire time, uninterrupted, as Smithers rummaged through the pile of clothing on the floor, looking for his cell phone. His eyes wandered over Smithers; not a stitch of clothing blocking his view. He still could say that the female form was more pleasing to the eye, but Smithers wasn't all that bad to look at either, being roughly the same height as himself, full head of thick, deceptively soft hair just begging to be touched.

Finally clicking off his phone, Smithers stood there naked, his arousal impossible to hide. He looked like a nervous wreck, absentmindedly raking his fingers through his hair, an incredibly endearing nervous habit that Burns hadn't come to appreciate until recently. He was just so damn irresistible. Never would he have thought that 'irresistible' could be a fitting description of his long under-appreciated assistant, yet now he found himself lusting over him. The need to explore the unknown still hung over him, tempting him, becoming too strong to simply ignore.

Burns remained leaning back on his elbows, his legs hanging casually over the edge of the bed. His pants were still unzipped and clinging loosely about his hips just as Smithers had left them, leaving his own arousal hard to hide as well; however, Smithers seemed oblivious of the fact as he dredged over to the bed without even bothering to look up at him. Smithers let out a disappointed sigh as he leaned over the bed, pressing his hand into the mattress. It was as if he were under the assumption that the moment had been ruined. Couldn't he see that Burns still wanted him?

For a split-second, he felt a twinge of sympathy for his young assistant, an emotion he hadn't much experience with. Finally, Burns buried his own inhibitions and worked up the nerve to speak.

"Smithers, I want to try something." he said, his voice coming out calmer than he had expected. His relaxed, level-headed voice seemed at odds with conflicting emotions he felt.

"What?" Smithers picked his head up, blinking a couple of times as if he hadn't heard him right. "Y-you want... to..." Smithers straightened up and stood there staring at him, transfixed like a deer staring into headlights.

"Well, I suppose if you don't want to..." Burns teased, looking away from him slyly. Smithers' reaction was undoubtedly amusing as Burns was unable to hide the smirk that crept onto his face.

"No! I mean yes... I mean... Anything you want!" Smithers stammered. He seemed genuinely surprised at the request and in a matter of seconds Smithers lunged towards him, enthusiastically placing random kisses all over his face.

"N-now... don't get ahead of yourself Smithers!" said Burns, flinching away slightly as Smithers continued his onslaught of even more kisses as a dog would its owner. "I said I wanted to try... it doesn't necessarily mean I want to go through with it!" Burns lied.

He gave in to Smithers, letting him have his way just for a moment as he contemplated his next course of action. Lying on his back, lost in his own thoughts, he was vaguely aware of Smithers' mouth doing something incredibly teasing down his neck. It was becoming even harder to think as he felt Smithers hands slowly roaming all over him. Soon, he felt Smithers attempting to maneuver himself on top of him, but Burns discouraged it, placing a hand on his chest. That wasn't part of his plan; not this time anyway.

"Nah ah ah Smithers. This time we're playing by my rules." Burns smirked. He pulled Smithers close for one long, drawn out kiss before placing a hand on Smithers' chest, suggestively pushing him onto his back. Smithers seemed to see where this was going. Lying back and passively watching, his were eyes full of wanton desire and anticipation. Burns attempted to sit up, but his pants were still unzipped and sagging around his hips making it incredibly difficult to move. He tried to pry them lower to free his movement a little, but he still couldn't get them to budge.

He froze suddenly when Smithers' hand reached for his zipper, pulling it down lower and then giving a gentle tug to his pants, inching them all the way down, the underwear along with it. His heart raced, in a matter of seconds, he had found himself suddenly completely naked faster than he had planned. He sat up, hearing an appreciative, lustful sound coming from Smithers as he got a better view of him, eyes raking over him from head to toe. Now it was his turn to be under the scrutiny and by the sound of it, Smithers liked what he saw. Burns turned towards him, but before he could do anything, he felt himself being yanked on top of Smithers.

"What the-?" Burns gasped. Smithers looked up at him with a childish grin.

"You wanted to be on top didn't you?" Smithers replied slyly, a hint of laughter in his voice.

It was quite shocking going from being suddenly so naked, to having every inch of himself pressed flat against Smithers, the man's arousal now pressing hard against his stomach. For the moment, it was the only thing he could focus on and it was such an odd feeling unlike anything else, uniquely erotic, leaving him itching for even more contact.

After the initial shock wore off, Burns fidgeted at bit as he adjusted to the position, the movement causing Smithers to gasp sharply, his whole body stiffening. Encouraged by Smithers' reaction, he moved again, this time deliberately, making Smithers moaned softly, his eyes tightly closed. He felt Smithers' hands on his rear, squeezing him even closer.

He had been in such a hurry that he hadn't considered how fun it might be to toy with his assistant a bit. He braced his hands against the bed to gain a bit of leverage as he sat up and straddled around Smithers' legs. He looked down briefly, catching Smithers watching him curiously and biting his lip.

Burns slowly drew his fingers across Smithers' stomach, everywhere he touched, he felt muscles tensing with anticipation. It made him wonder just how many years Smithers had waited for this. Burns honestly couldn't say that he would have waited so long just for one person.

Smithers' fingers clenched tightly around the blanket beneath him. He couldn't wait to see how Smithers would react when things went even further. Smithers sighed as Burns' hand crept dangerously lower, teasing across his abdomen just below his navel and lower still. Smithers gasped as splayed fingers cautiously traveled over the hardened flesh, his thumb easily sliding back the foreskin and working down over the entire length of it.

"Mmm, oh... Oh f-!" Smithers cried out, along with a few other intelligible words.

Smithers sighed, sliding his fingers through his hair as Burns' hand enclosed around him again, moving slowly, deliberately. He could barely hear the low, muffled moans that Smithers tried in vain to suppress. It wasn't like anyone was there to hear them in the spacious, isolated mansion.

"Smithers..." Burns uttered, releasing him from his touch. He was unsure just what he wanted to say. It was all becoming a little too much, just watching it all play out before him, watching Smithers react to his every touch. He wanted more, to bury himself within his lover in a way that he'd never even considered with anyone else. It was a little intimidating even thinking about it. Reading about it was one thing, but with his limited knowledge of the subject, he wasn't even sure where to start.

"Smithers... I want to come in you." He uttered suddenly, barely more than a whisper. His own words had caught him by surprise. He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, the words escaping his lips before he even had a chance to think. He felt his face growing red hot. Had Smithers' even heard him? He hadn't so much as blinked or even moved yet.

- o - o - o -

It was like he was frozen. He didn't know what to make of it, of Burns' whispered request. His mind raced, his heart raced, everything felt like it was on fast forward. Smithers looked up at him, his eyes wide with disbelief. Burns' mirrored his reaction, looking just as surprised as himself. Had Burns really said that? Did he hear him correctly? It was evident by Burns' face, his flushed cheeks, that he couldn't have just imagined it. Smithers could barely even think straight.

"Mm-mont Monty..." Smithers uttered. "C-could you wait here a sec?" he asked, heart pounding in his chest. "Don't go anywhere!" He tore his eyes away from Burns and crawled off of the bed. It was almost unthinkable, leaving him at that moment; however, even someone as experienced as Smithers knew his limits.

He rushed off to the bathroom, rummaging through Burns' medicine cabinet. Months ago, even when there was little hope of them ever getting together, Smithers had stashed away some lube conveniently in Burns' bathroom just on the off chance that he might need it one day. Once he found it, he quickly returned, his heart pounding even faster as he spotted Burns, still sitting there on his knees, watching him curiously as he entered the room. Burns eyed the bottle in his hand questioningly as Smithers resumed his spot on the bed.

"W-what on earth do you need that for?" Burns asked.

"Actually I... stashed it in there months ago, You know... just in case." Smithers answered breathlessly, almost unable to contain his excitement. "But wait..." he paused. "Why is it nearly half-empty? Have you been...?" He stared at Burns incredulously, his question falling silent as he wondered just what Burns had been up to. He didn't know what to say, or if he should even care what Burns used it for. Burns seemed almost as impatient as himself and the less they talked, the sooner things could really get started.

"Well, I thought it was mouthwash, but that didn't work out so well." said Burns distractedly, as if remembering the unfortunate incident. Smithers laughed quietly as images of Burns standing in front of the bathroom sink thinking he had mouthwash flashed through his mind.

"So you went and used half the bottle anyway?" Smithers asked.

"A-after that... I assumed it must be hand lotion. My hands are as soft as ever now." Burns answered, looking down at his palms which did look considerably softer.

Smithers averted his eyes downward, unable to keep the amused grin off of his face. Burns' ignorance on certain subjects never failed to entertain him. Without another word, he snapped open the lid, pouring a generous amount into his hand and without warning reached towards Burns, coating his slightly-softened erection and sliding his slick hands all the way down it. It still amazed him that Burns would allow him such privileges so easily. Certainly now there was little doubt in Burns mind of what the mysterious substance really was. He gradually quickened his strokes, determined to get him as hard as he previously was, before all of the distractions.

"Oh!" Burns gasped, holding onto Smithers' shoulder to gain balance. Smithers looked up, his eyes catching Burns' for a second as he continued stroking him, momentarily forgetting what they were even preparing for.

"Y-you... you could have given me a bit of warning don't you think?" Burns placed his hand over Smithers' hand, stilling it's movement. "That's enough... on your knees... now." Burns muttered breathlessly, his tone one that Smithers never dreamed he'd hear directed towards himself. It was almost enough to make Smithers obey him without question; however, he ignored the request, opting to lie on his back instead.

"Smithers... what are you..." Burns looked down at him, an uncertain look on his face.

"I-I... wanted to be able to see you." Smithers answered shyly. "Come on, I'll show you." Smithers then reached around Burns, pulling him closer until there wasn't even an inch of space between them, his legs on either side of Burns. The next thing he felt was Burns' erection aligned perfectly with his own, he gasped sharply as the man pressed harder against him, rocking his hips.

"Mm... mmm... mph OH!" Smithers moaned with every movement. "M-Monty... please..." Smithers pleaded.

"Hm? What was that Smithers?" asked Burns, grinding himself even harder against him.

"OH! Oh... please... stop toying with me!" Smithers pleaded. He heard an amused snort of laughter from Burns as he finally stopped grinding against him, only to grasp onto Smithers' cock and his own, sliding his hands over them both slowly just as he had done on their first sexual encounter in the back seat of his car.

"Mmn!" Smithers moaned, the feel of Burns' slick hands sending shivers through him. If Burns didn't stop soon, it would be too late and he wasn't ready for it to end so soon.

"Please sir... I can't take much more of this..."

Smithers couldn't even come up with an intelligent response... his sentence falling silent. He knew Burns had a bit of a sadistic streak but this was almost too much to take! Did Burns even know the affect he was having? Apparently, Burns was the master when it came to sexual frustration and he couldn't really complain. Burns' had complete control over him and it was the exact scenario that he had imagined for so many years.

Smithers instinctively reached down, absentmindedly stroking his erection.

"I'll be having none of that Waylon." Burns slapped his hand away, preventing Smithers from even touching himself. "It's going to be hard enough keeping up with you as it is." said Burns. Smithers let out a dissatisfied whine. First, Burns was going too fast, now he was going too slow. If only they could meet somewhere in the middle.

That's when he felt it, prodding at his entrance. Smithers gasped, his breath catching in his throat. He pulled his knees a little higher, waiting breathlessly as Burns penetrated him.

"Oh..." Burns cried, pausing for a moment as he became accustomed to the tightness. Burns pressed further, his breath catching in his throat as he inched further in. Smithers remained motionless; he couldn't believe that it was really happening. The feel of Burns' hardness buried deep within him was almost overwhelming and he'd almost forgotten how to breath. What must have been only a few seconds, felt like it stretched out into an eternity before Burns finally moved again.

"Mmmnn~!" Burns moaned lustfully, slowly inching all the way back in a second time. Smithers finally took a breath, his heart racing incredibly fast as Burns' delved in little quicker than before, this time without pausing before thrusting in again and finally beginning to build up a constant rhythm. Smithers was practically panting and almost every breath he took, the faint whisper of a moan could be heard.

"Mmm... mmm... mmn~!" Smithers moaned. His eyes tearing up as Burns' occasionally hit that certain spot that made him go almost numb with pleasure, beads of precum now pooling onto his belly. Unable to resist anymore, he reached down to touch himself, sliding his fingers lightly in time with Burns, sending him ever closer to completion.

The feeling was almost indescribable, yet Smithers couldn't help but to worry that Burns' stamina might not hold up long enough to continue, despite whether he wanted to or not. So far, Burns seemed unfazed, unrelenting in his voracity, sliding in and out quickly. Smithers felt the faint, distant feeling of his impending orgasm gradually increasing. A low moan rumbling in his throat, almost humming; however, he wanted to wait for Burns. He lightly grazed his fingers along his own erection, afraid that too much stimulation would send him over the edge.

" Mmm...Monty..." Smithers muttered. He thought perhaps if he talked dirty, maybe that would be enough encouragement for Burns, but his mind was so distracted that he couldn't even form the words he wanted to say. "Mont...Oh god!" Smithers cried.

"Hmph..." Burns snorted with amusement, "I... I always knew you... mmm... that you always... considered me a god." Burns smirked, his words intermittent with his movement. Smithers laughed, his desire still within manageable range.

Pretty soon, it was evident that Burns was becoming fatigued, wincing slightly as if his muscles were beginning to cramp. Smithers took some of the burden off of him, reaching around with one hand and holding onto Burns' securely as he moved his hips in time with Burns' thrusts.

"Mmm... can't stop... I'm...!" Smithers stammered. He was getting close and by the sound of it, he wasn't the only one. He was going to come soon whether Burns did or not! By now, it was inevitable, there was no going back.

Soon enough, he felt himself succumbing to it, the familiar twitching, the waves that traveled through his whole body like and earthquake erupting, leaving shock waves and tremors that ebbed on afterwords, lingering, leaving him utterly breathless and then panting as he waited for Burns to finish. He knew he was close too, hearing him gasp, feeling his body tensing up and sliding in noticeably slicker and warmer than he had a second ago.

Burns gradually slowed down his movements and finally pulled away, his breathing heavy just as Smithers' was. Burns braced his hands against Smithers' thighs, trying to catch his breath as the last waves of passion slowly passed.

Only now, as he watched Burns settling down to lie next to him, did the reality of it started to sink in. It seemed strange, the more he thought about it, that even though he'd had quite a few lovers come and go in his life, no one else compared to Mr. Burns. He felt almost like, in some strange way, that he'd never really lost his virginity until now. He knew it was a ridiculous notion, but it seemed as if all those others were merely practice for the real thing.

They lay there in silence for a while, Burns lied on his back, his eyes closed as his breathing slowly leveled off to normal. Burns turned towards him, resting his head against Smithers' shoulder, his thin hand coming to rest across Smithers' chest.

Burns seemed more than content to fall asleep right where he was, his arm wrapped snugly around Smithers. Even though his mind was reeling far too fast for him to sleep, with Burns' arms around him, he could at least close his eyes and try to relax for a while.

- o - o - o -

Burns opened his eyes, he didn't know how long he had been asleep, but he knew it wasn't nighttime yet as the sun still shown brightly from his bedroom window. For a brief moment, he'd forgotten what had happened earlier until he saw Smithers lying next to him naked. Then it all came flooding back to him. It was arguably the most fun he'd had with anyone in his bed since he could remember.

For some reason, he had the eerie feeling that they were being watched. Perhaps it was only his paranoia getting the best of him, but he just couldn't shake the feeling. He looked around the room suspiciously until something peculiar caught his eye.

A set of dark, beady eyes were staring intently at him, almost accusingly. He wiped his eyes, finally registering that it was only his cherished, childhood toy Bobo sitting on the desk across the room near the foot of the bed. He laughed it off. It was only a harmless toy after all, it wasn't like it was really alive. He wasn't ready to deal with Smithers just yet, so he closed his eyes. Perhaps a longer nap would be just the cure for his weary nerves.

Still the odd feeling of paranoia persisted, no matter how comfortable his spot next to Smithers was. He turned onto his side away from Smithers, blinking a couple of times. No matter what he did, or how he positioned himself, the nervous feeling of being watched was slowly becoming overwhelming.

Unable to take anymore, Burns stealthfully snuck up off of the bed, and closed the curtains more securely. The media would have a real field day with him if they caught a glimpse of the two of them. He tiptoed back over to the bed and lied down onto his side, gently placing an arm across Smithers' bare chest, hoping that his fears of being watched were finally put to rest.

Unfortunately, he still felt it. Something was off and he just couldn't put his finger on it. Still, he could feel those black, button eyes staring him down, watching intently as he snuggled up close to Smithers. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it was a cold, piercing stare, almost seething with jealousy. It was a little unnerving even if it was coming from a toy bear. He knew it was silly but he simply couldn't take a second more of that icy stare watching them any longer. He got up and marched over to the bear, triumphantly turning it around to face the wall and wiping his hands clean of the matter once and for all.

He walk back to the bed and laid down, thankful that the paranoid feeling had finally subsided. He curled up next to Smithers, basking in the warmth radiating from him as he rested his head on Smithers' outstretched arm. He placed his hand back across Smithers' chest as he had before and closed his eyes, sighing comfortably.

"He's just a stuffed bear you know." came Smithers' voice suddenly, breaking the silence. Burns opened his eyes, an embarrassed flush coming over him at being caught obsessing over the toy. Smithers laughed, clutching Burns closer to him.

"Well, someone in this room sounds jealous and it isn't the bear." Burns replied irritably, unable to find a more suitable come-back to Smithers' teasing. All joking aside, they had the rest of the day ahead of them, but all Burns wanted was to stay exactly where they were. He couldn't think of any other place he'd rather be.

- o - o - o -

**A.N. - I know, a little too hot for some readers... not enough for others. What can I say? I blame it on my constant abuse of the rated-M filter when reading fanfiction. Thanks for the encouragement, from people on this site and others, to continue writing. I still love to write and wish I could more often, but like everyone else these days, life is getting busier and sometimes it feels like things are happening all at once. Let's just say that last month was a pretty busy month for me and I'm exhausted.**

**Up next: Monday mornings aren't quite as boring as people make them out to be. Especially when your assistant becomes a little too frisky in the office! I could say more, but I'm not really sure if I can reveal everything just yet in case I ever write a sequel. Note: ~I said _if_~ Oh, I'll most certainly have to add something about Wallace and Baines pretty soon. Can't just leave them hanging in limbo like that!**

**So, I guess that means so long for now~**


	33. Baring it All

**Chapter Thirty-three: Baring it All**

Mr. Burns had slept for nearly an hour, curled up close by Smithers' side beneath the sheets. Smithers could hardly call it cold in that room, but he had often caught him sleeping curled up like that with the cover bound up tightly around himself as if he were cold. Many times over the years, he had secretly longed to slip into bed with him, envelope him, make sure he never spent one cold night alone ever again. Now that Smithers actually had the opportunity to do just that, he could help but feel a little giddy and overexcited as Burns scooted so close that every inch where their bare skin that came into contact, radiated with warmth.

In the dimly lit room, he watched as Burns slept so peacefully, his face still slightly flushed red, his body still quite warm to the touch. Smithers, on the other hand, remained wide awake, replaying every moment over in his mind in great detail. The give and take of two lovers, lost to their own passion, the flood of heightened senses. Years of vivid daydreams had given him quite the imagination and now he had the feeling that he had enough visual imagery to fuel his overactive imagination tenfold. This time, nothing was rushed like it had been the first time. This time had felt more real than anything he could have dreamt up.

He felt Mr. Burns stirring next to him, knowing that the comfort he felt was about to be disrupted. Then, he felt Burns' thin hand brush along his bare chest as he began to awaken, the bed moving slightly as he shifted his position. The curtains were drawn tightly closed, but he still had enough light to see Mr. Burns now blinking and staring up at him. Smithers shyly averted his eyes when he was caught staring so blatantly.

"Waylon." he shivered from the sound of Burns' voice. So rare it was to hear his given name, especially spoken in such a soft, husky tone by his beloved. For a couple of minutes, all was silent. Only the sounds of their shallow breathing, and the feel of Burns' fingers absentmindedly stroking across his chest were all that he knew in that instant. Words escaped him. It was as if the spoken word was so insufficient and would have spoiled the sense of calm and peace they shared.

Burns sighed as he withdrew his hand, scooting to the other side of the bed and sitting on the edge. Such an empty feeling there was in the space he had occupied. A feeling comparable to the withdrawal symptoms, such was the need to regain contact again.

- o - o - o -

"So... ah... what time is it?" Burns voice shattered the calm silence of the room, bringing them back to the present reality. "I don't want to be late for work." Burns got up and slowly walked over to window, pulling back the crimson red curtains. The room suddenly became bathed in filtered light through the blinds. For a brief instant, he felt a rush of fear overcome him. What was that strange feeling of contentment that he had felt a moment ago in Smithers' arms? A feeling that was so indescribable that it made his chest tighten in such a good way. Nothing that felt that good and satisfying could ever be trusted and rarely had he ever let himself feel so vulnerable. Was this really a good thing?

He had to gather his composure. He simply couldn't let Smithers see him this way. He gathered his thoughts, recalling his previous question which Smithers had left unanswered.

After a long pause, Mr. Burns turned around, waiting for Smithers to speak. It seemed his assistant had once again been struck speechless at the sight of him nude. He would never understand the attraction Smithers had for him, for his thin frail form, but the attention was flattering and very much entertaining as he drank it all in.

"Uh... W-what... what was it? What were you... was I saying? Smithers shook his head in frustration, he was so distracted that he couldn't even speak in complete sentences. "I mean... what did you say?"

Mr. Burns stared at him for a moment, at his deliciously flustered assistant, unable to wipe the knowing smirk off of his face; loving every tense moment that rendered Smithers speechless.

He'd always loved the intimidating affect he had on people, especially Smithers, however this was a whole new level of entertaining for the man who had spent a lifetime manipulating others. This time, it wasn't intimidation really; it was more along the lines of flirtatious teasing, yet the effect was just as profound.

"How long did I sleep Smithers?" Burns asked, his voice steady, eyes seductively fixated on his assistant as he took a few steps closer.

"You... um... I believe it was about an hour... S-sir. We still have the rest of the day off." Smithers stammered, his nervous speech provoking another satisfied smirk from Mr. Burns.

"_I_ have the rest of the day off." Burns replied, his tone light and playful as he stepped closer, leaning down to Smithers' level and lightly brushing a hand across his cheek. "You, however..."

"Anything." Smithers replied breathlessly in an almost nonsensical way, staring back at him. He had Smithers for the rest of the day and whatever plans the man might have had he knew would be long forgotten and Mr. Burns wasn't quite sure what to do with the rest of the time allotted to them on their day off. So many possibilities. He did have one particular idea that he was certain Smithers would go along with, with little to no resistance, but he wasn't so sure how he would handle it; however, watching Smithers reaction to the suggestion would be well worth it.

"Well, for starters, you could start my bath." Burns spoke innocently, pulling his hand away from Smithers and standing back to his full height.

"Oh? Well, OK. I'll get right to it sir." Smithers crawled out from beneath the covers. Burns couldn't help noting the strangeness of actually having Smithers naked in his room. Smithers moved to pick up his clothes until Burns' voice stopped him.

"Oh and Smithers?"

"Yeah?" asked Smithers. Mr. Burns walked across the room and grabbed his purple bath robe from the dresser.

"Why don't you fill the big tub in the east wing this time? It's more spacious." said Burns as he quickly slipped the robe over himself and tied it loosely around his waist.

"You sure? That's quite a long walk when the master bath is just over there." Smithers gestured to the bathroom door across the room.

"I know." Burns replied, tapping the tips of his fingers together so nonchalantly as he spoke. "Surely we can't both fit in that tiny tub." Smithers eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline in response before he looked away, adjusting his glasses. Clearly, he was taken aback by the suggestion.

"Uh...Okay." Smithers replied, his voice rather monotone as if he were still mildly taken by surprise. He took a couple of steps backwards towards the door, "I-I'll just... I'll go an-" Smithers turned around and crashed into the wall on the way out the door. He stopped and straightened his glasses before exiting.

"Why the hell did I suggest that?" Burns cursed quietly to himself. Bathing with someone was never nearly as fun as it sounded and now he was even more nervous than he would have liked to admit. What would they possibly have to say sitting across from each other in the tub?

As Mr. Burns stood there wallowing in his own regret, a sudden high pitched, earsplitting shriek shook the halls and met his ears sending a shock-wave of alarm through him. A scream not too different from those right out of a horror movie. It certainly sounded nothing like Smithers.

Without delay, he rushed out into the hall and it didn't take him long to find the source of the blood-curdling scream. It indeed wasn't Smithers voice, but that of the maid with whom Smithers had unfortunately met in the hallway, in all his stark nakedness.

Mr. Burns stood there in shock for a moment. Such a sight it was. There wasn't much to hide behind in the large hallway so Smithers stood crouched over slightly, his hands modestly covering himself and apologizing profusely. The maid seemed visibly shaken by the event, hiding behind her dust pan. Apparently she hadn't been on doctors leave like they had thought.

Mr. Burns struggled to contain his laughter, bringing a hand to his mouth, the hilarity of the scene playing out before him far outweighed the sympathy he felt for his assistant. Poor Smithers, ever the subject of his entertainment for his constant embarrassing follies. His whole life had been filled with awkward moments such as this.

"Good heavens! Mr. Smithers have you no shame?" shouted the rather rotund, gray haired maid.

"I am so sorry, I... I had no idea that you were here!" Smithers wailed.

"Apparently so!" The maid stopped a moment to straighten her apron. "Tell me something. Are all of Mr. Burns' employees allowed to traipse around naked while I'm away? Perhaps I should show up to work tomorrow with no clothes on hm? Did you know about this sir?" she asked turning to Mr. Burns. Smithers quickly turned his way, finally acknowledging his presence in the room. He had such a 'save me' look on his face. "Or maybe you two are..." the maid added, her sentence suggestively falling silent.

"No. No, you misunderstand." Smithers motioned with his hands as he tried to explain, momentarily forgetting his modesty, before quickly returning his hands back to cover himself, "I-I... I am... I..." He swiftly ducked behind Burns to shield himself, his hands coming to rest on Burns' shoulder. Burns' eyes quickly darted to the maid. A grin tugged the corners of his mouth at Smithers' sad attempt at regaining some sense of dignity. The maid cleared her throat nervously.

"Mr. Burns." she began. "Whatever goes on within these walls is your own business. It's your home after all. But, I would like just a bit of warning ahead of time when you or your... your assistant wish to walk around in the buff."

"Ms. Lytchworth, let me assure you..." Burns attempted to quell any suspicions she might have, finally taking pity on Smithers, but the words failed him. As hilarious as the whole thing was, the last thing he needed was for the whole world to know his personal matters because some gossipy maid wanted to hit it big with the tabloids. His only hope now was that Smithers would cooperate and play along into his plan. He swallowed.

"Mr. Smithers? Would you... care to explain?" Burns asked, masking his own nervousness with the veneer of accusation.

"What?" came Smithers' voice from behind him. He could imagine the look of genuine shock Smithers' was likely to have, his eyes wide with disbelief. No doubt, he hadn't suspected to be thrown under the bus like that. Burns continued.

"Well, I wake up to this awful scream and I come out here to find you like this! I assure you Ms. Lytchworth, he will be severely punished."

"But sir, you told me that I could... work on my tan remember?" Smithers spoke up apprehensively, adding his own twist to the explanation. "I just thought it would be okay since the courtyard has those high walls. I suppose I should've brought a towel?" said Smithers, followed by a round of nervous laughter.

"Smithers..." Burns growled through gritted teeth. One thing he had had learned from being such a proficient liar was that too many details often made for even more suspicion.

"Now Mr. Burns, please, go easy on him. The poor lad's been through enough don't you think?" said Ms. Lytchworth sympathetically, her dustpan clutched in both hands in front of her. Burns pretended to consider her words carefully, a brief, pensive look crossing his face.

"Hmm, perhaps I could... overlook it. Just this once." said Burns. He heard Smithers let out a stressed sigh, finally stepping out from behind him and taking a potted plant from the side table to place in front of himself.

Bless you sir. I'll just be in the bathroom then." said Smithers, taking a few steps back. "Maybe you could... come and bring my clothes in a minute?"

"Of course." he replied. Now to deal with the maid. Burns turned to her and spoke. "I thought you were out today having heart surgery. Why did you even come in today?"

"Oh no sir, I was scheduled to have a rather nasty wart removed from my... well let's just say that the appointment was rescheduled and I thought you might need help around here. Perhaps I should have notified you first?" she asked timidly. Smithers still hung around a bit longer, listening, waiting for Mr. Burns' next move. A wart removed? Burns felt his temper quickening. How dare she try to request time off for something like wart removal! She only worked part time anyway, just to give Smithers a break. Couldn't she take the appointment during her days off?

"Well, this time I'll allow it, but next time you'd better be deathly ill before you request any time off on my watch!" Burns snapped irritably. Everything was quiet for a second and Burns took this as his queue to exit. After he'd gotten down the hall a ways, he could just barely pick up on an exchange between Smithers and the maid.

"I suppose I should congratulate you for your years of persistence." he heard Ms. Lytchworth remark in an amused, hushed tone, followed by a distinctive smacking sound. Burns winced. Had she just given him a celebratory smack of sorts? He kept on walking to his room, the humor in the situation had long since passed, now that he was also the subject of humiliation.

- o - o - o -

He was on edge the whole time as he waited in the bathroom for Burns' arrival. Considering all the years spent fantasizing and imagining different scenarios involving himself and Mr. Burns, he'd never considered just how his own nervous jitters would factor into the equation. Being caught naked by Burns' maid only added to the problem. Feeling a bit more exposed than normal, he grabbed a pink towel from the shelf and wrapped it around his waist.

When it came to the luxurious lifestyle, Mr Burns spared no expense and his bathroom, which was one of many, was no exception. The whole mansion was a well balanced mixture of Edwardian architecture along with Victorian decor. The bathroom itself was a work of art, with light, natural earth tones of peach, beige and rich, golden drapery.

The oval tub was comfortably sloped on the inside with sandy, peach toned granite ledging around its perimeter and set between two golden columns which reached the ceiling. The tub was rather large and very inviting with ample space for two, so crowding wasn't an issue.

Steaming hot water filled the air with a hazy mist and the tub was nearly full, when the door cracked opened and Mr. Burns entered.

"Sir, I am so, so sorry." Smithers began, "I had no idea the maid was in today. I was just so distracted."

"It's fine. Just forget about it." said Burns. He quietly shut and locked the door behind himself and turned around to face Smithers. He couldn't precisely gauge how Burns was feeling at the moment, but if his face was any indication, his previously carefree mood had been replaced by one of irritation and annoyance.

"Really sir, I am truly sorry about all this!" Smithers apologized as he reached down, turning off the hot water. How unexpected it had been for Burns to even suggest sharing a bath with him. It was unfortunate that he had failed to maintain the same jovial, playful mood that had facilitated such an impulsive suggestion.

"Well there is nothing that can be done now. I suspect by now that she's doing an article with the Inquirer or maybe even People's Magazine." Burns turned on his heels, pacing the floor and making exaggerated motions with his hands as he complained, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "I can just see it now, 'May-December romance sizzles between millionaire and his new beau'. It'll be headline news!" Burns voice raised in pitch the more aggravated he became. Smithers laughed.

"Seriously Monty, People magazine? I hardly believe that such a prestigious publication would care about your love-life. No offense sir, you might be semi-famous amongst those on the Forbes list, but I hardly think it would make it to headline news! Besides, I don't think she even knows."

"Don't think she knows?" Burns yelled, taking a step closer and starting him menacingly in the eyes. "I'm sure that little congratulations she gave you for your 'years of persistence' was mere coincidence? And just what was that smack I heard while I was walking away?"

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy sir?" Smithers laughed. "I'm sure she was only joking. You have nothing to worry about, I don't think she'll say a word to anyone." Smithers tried his best to sound as assuring as he could. Sometimes, the right combination of soothing words was enough to quell his boss' anger, though the more he watched him rant and rave, the more his own nervousness began to subside and bringing with it, a sense of well needed familiarity. He couldn't stop himself from staring at him admiringly as he continued his tirade

"Well, you are pretty damn naive then Smithers. In this cut-throat world, money talks and times are desperate!" Burns paused, eying him suspiciously. "And why are you staring at me like that?"

"Because your beautiful when you're angry sir." Smithers replied. He stepped a little closer, boldly placing and arm around Burns and fiddling with the ties on his robe. "Now what do you say we yank off that robe of yours and go for a little swim?" Smithers asked in a flirtatious, low voice. Burns recoiled away from him.

"Smithers! I've had enough of that for one day. I have my limits!" Smithers laughed quietly, one arm still behind Burns' waist as he leaned into him.

"I know. Let's just take it easy then hm? Just a nice relaxing soak in the steaming hot water." Smithers made another attempt at removing Burns' robe, to which he finally obliged, allowing him to untie it and letting it fall to the floor in a heap. Burns stepped into the tub and slowly eased into the water. Once he settled in he closed his eyes, sliding lower into the tub.

Smithers shyly removed his own towel and sat on the edge of the tub, torn with wanting to join him and wondering whether it would disturb him if he did. Burns opened his eyes, watching him curiously.

"Well Smithers? Are you getting in or not?" Burns asked.

"Oh! O-okay. Right." Smithers replied timidly. '_Great just great_,' Smithers thought. '_Of all the times for my shyness to kick in, why now?'_ Smithers swung his legs over the side of the tub, the water almost scalding to the touch, but that was always the way Burns' liked it, saying that it burned away the stench of having to deal with the common folk on a daily basis. He slowly sank down into the water on the opposite end of the tub, his feet brushing against Burns' legs as he acclimated to the strange, almost surrealism of the situation.

So there he sat, across from Mr. Burns in the huge tub. His legs muscles began to feel a little cramped and stiff from the unintentional tensing as he became acutely aware and self conscious of every inch of Burns that his legs came into contact with. It was exciting and at the same time, such an unusual feeling that he hadn't quite become accustomed to yet. After about a minute of nervous fidgeting and watching Burns resting so comfortably across from him, Burns finally opened his eyes and spoke.

"I don't even know what made me suggest this. Seems a little ridiculous don't you think? Two grown men... sharing a tub full of strawberries and cream scented bathwater?" Burns replied irritably.

"I suppose I could have gotten amaretto plum for a more sophisticated scent." Smithers laughed. "I wonder if they have money scented bubble bath?"

"I would buy stock in that." They both laughed quietly. The hot water seemed to lull Burns into such a relaxed state, the water rising just above his shoulders as he closed his eyes again. Smithers slid a little lower into the water, his apprehension slowly subsiding as Burns' feet occasionally grazed his legs. Was that intentional? Smithers moved his foot, mimicking Burns' movements a couple of times. Burns' eyes cracked open slightly as he finally seemed to notice the game they were playing at and kicked Smithers' leg lightly.

The game continued on for a bit longer, neither willing to give up. Smithers couldn't judge whether Burns was becoming annoyed or not, but he nudged Burns' leg once more; however, this time, he gasped as he felt a sharp kick in the shin that was a bit more forceful than before. He impulsively retaliated, waving his hand across the water and childishly splashing Burns across the face. He hadn't really meant to, having done it without thinking.

Before he could even apologize, he suddenly gasped as he felt his legs being pushed apart. He jumped, slightly startled as Burns' feet had crept up between his legs, gliding across his crotch area. His eyes were wide at the unexpected intrusion. Burns, on the other hand, had this satisfied smirk on his face, apparently content that he had won the childish battle of wills they were playing.

"Don't start something you don't intend to finish Smithers." Burns laughed smugly. Smithers stretched his legs back beneath the water, Burns' foot still teasing him.

"You should say the same for yourself." said Smithers, gasping slightly as Burns' foot tickled his inner thighs. He knew Burns had said he'd had enough fun for one day, so why was he toying with him so much? A moan accidentally escaped his lips, his eyes squinted as he tried to control his desire. Burns laughed and finally pulled his feet away, drawing his knees up.

"You are too easy." Burns laughed. Smithers bit his lip, the tip of his arousal now rising above the water level.

"What do you mean too easy?" Smithers asked breathlessly.

"You're easy. Easy to arouse. Easy to play mind games with. I've already made it clear that I have no intention of fooling around with you any further today, yet you still hold on to the hope that I'll give in."

"Who says I'm holding onto the hope?" Smithers asked in protest, slightly confused by Burns' arrogance.

"Well, clearly your body indicates otherwise." said Burns, obviously referring to his erection peeking out from beneath the water.

"I just assumed... I..." Smithers mumbled embarrassingly.

"You have two hands don't you? Certainly if you're that desperate, you could handle the situation solo." Burns replied, his voice as smug and mocking as could be. Burns watched him, almost as if expecting him to put on a show for him then and there. "Well, go ahead then. No one's stopping you."

"But sir, I... I can't, not here. I can wait." Smithers muttered, as he was taken by surprise by Burns' comment. He didn't know how to respond. Was he just testing him or was he serious?

"Well you certainly weren't this shy a couple of hours ago." said Burns slyly. Smithers seemed a bit overwhelmed for a moment by what he was hearing. There was something about doing it alone, knowing that you were being watched, that just seemed a bit naughty. It was sort of similar to the feeling of being caught in the act by your parents. Especially considering how he'd grown up seeing Mr. Burns as sort of a father figure. It was an exciting prospect and the bit of exhibitionist in him urged him on just briefly. Burns watched him, clearly amused by the effect his teasing was having. He had to stop letting Burns' teasing get to him so much. The man seriously seemed to enjoy embarrassing him, another one of the many games he liked to play for his own amusement. He certainly kept things exciting, that much was certain.

Another good five minutes of undisturbed relaxation passed before either said another word.

"You know, it would be much more relaxing if you were over here with me." Smithers suggested.

"With you? How could that be relaxing" Burns laughed incredulously. "The both of us won't even fit over there." As much as Smithers liked the sexual tension and the excitement brought about by Burns' teasing, one could only take so much. A sudden wave of impulsiveness struck him.

"Come on, I'll show you." said Smithers mischievously. He reached for Mr. Burns, hearing him gasp as he effortlessly pulled Burns' lithe body onto his lap. He turned him around so that Burns' back was pressing flat against him.

"Waylon! What the hell is wrong with you?" Burns yelped. "Are you going to make this a habit? Just grabbing things that you want like a child?"

Burns fidgeted around a little until he comfortably settled down between Smithers' legs, his back resting comfortably against him. He suddenly realized what Burns meant by the position not being too relaxing, as his ignored erection became the center of his attention once again, pressing against Burns' back.

"Smithers... this feels strange. Not uncomfortable, just..."

"You want to move then?" Smithers asked. Burns was quiet for a bit as if considering his words carefully.

"No. I think I'd like to see where this is leading." Burns spoke in a low, timid voice.

Burns shifted positions slightly, eliciting a needful noise from Smithers as the movement garnered even more physical contact. Smithers inadvertently rocked his hips forward, needing to feel even more of Burns' body against himself. Burns' hands gripped the sides of the tub as his whole body tensed up.

"Smithers!" Burns panted. Panic slowly overcoming him.

"Relax Monty." Smithers spoke brushing his fingers comfortingly along Burns arm, his desire significantly lessening by the second over his concern for Burns. As they finally settled into their relaxing embrace, it was amazing how thin and frail Mr. Burns actually felt now that he had him in his arms, as if he were easily as breakable as fine crystal. Such a rich and powerful man, it was surprising just how vulnerable he could really be. After a while, Burns finally spoke, interrupting the calm silence.

"Doesn't it... hurt? Or at least feel a bit... uncomfortable?" Burns asked timidly. It took a moment for the words to register that Burns was actually questioning him about certain sex acts that he'd yet to experience. Smithers was unsure how to answer.

"Uh, It doesn't have to," Smithers paused, swallowing nervously before he continued on, "if it's done carefully, then it can be... indescribably amazing."

"Not that I want to, but it is... interesting." Burns added. So Burns was interested after all? Maybe he only meant it in a way that it was an interesting subject. Whatever he meant, he would have to make sure that Burns was completely on board with it before he ever tried anything like that. Burns was incredibly fragile, so that was his main concern.

"Smithers, I would like to read more of that novel you were writing." said Burns out of the blue, the topic of conversation thankfully changing to something a little less difficult. "I couldn't help but wonder about the fate of poor Wallace, lingering between life and death."

"You're really interested in it? Wow, I'm flattered really!" Smithers replied enthusiastically.

"But what is to become of him? You wouldn't kill him would you?" Burns asked, concerned.

"Well, I'm not supposed to tell you yet, but if the story warrants it then..." Smithers stopped mid-sentence. He really hated to give away to many details before Burns actually did read it for fear of ruining the emotional impact it had. The next part of his story was becoming a real struggle to write since he couldn't really decide what direction to take with it.

"Don't let him die." said Burns, his voice thoughtful and solemn.

"Uh... Okay?" Smithers replied uncertainly.

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel a strange affection for Wallace. It's as if I would be losing a part of you. A part of what brought us together." Burns hands came to rest on his leg as his words had such a profound affect on him. He found it amazing that Burns felt the same connection to the same characters that he'd toiled away on for so many months. It was certainly unexpected.

"Do you... do you really think I could write his death... after hearing you say that?" Smithers spoke, his words catching in his throat. "Just hypothetically, what if it were a true story and I couldn't change it?"

"Don't tell me you had an interview with this so called, 'vampire' and he regaled this rich, adventurous tale all for you to write in this novel you don't even plan to profit on." Burns laughed. Smithers smiled at Burns sarcasm, searching for an equally sarcastic answer in return.

"Well, I suppose I could always call up Brad Pitt to see if he's interested in doing another vampire film."

"Brad who?" Burns abruptly asked.

Smithers laughed heartily. Apparently Brad was a little too ahead of Burns' time for him to get the reference, just as many of Burns' references flew right over his own head so often. Funny, he'd never thought of himself as much of a writer, but now that he knew Burns was actually wanting to read more, he felt motivated to write even more than ever. Only now, he had the added pressure of actually trying to live up to Burns' high expectations.

* * *

**A. N. - Long time no see eh? I'm glad to have finally posted a new chapter to this long and winding tale.**

**To be continued.**


	34. Prowler of my Heart

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Prowler of my Heart**

Smithers felt the pangs of love like he'd only experienced as a teen, the rush of new emotions as if they were awoken anew. It was comparable to the way he'd felt as a confused teen, daydreaming over thoughts that then, seemed so forbidden and far-fetched; to ever actually imagine the possibilities of them ever coming true seemed beyond his scope of perception. Things rarely ever turned out so easily for him.

His face felt warm constantly as if he had a fever, but he knew that wasn't the case. It was all because of Mr. Burns that he was on this new high and he knew that he'd probably come down to earth soon, though never completely, but until things settled down a bit, he was satisfied to simply enjoy the ride.

He had noticed a subtle change in Mr. Burns as well, indicating that he too was experiencing some of the same things that he was. His overall attitude and behavior had, for the most part remained the same, yet he seemed to emanate this youthful zest for life as always whenever he became excited about something. Smithers had the idea that this time, he himself had something to do with Burns' irrepressibly, lively mood.

He'd always heard people warn against falling for someone such as Burns, someone who'd never shown any interest in men before as nothing would ever come of such an ill fated attraction, yet the way he felt for Burns was uncontrollable and unconditional. Had Burns not reciprocated these feelings, he would have still loved him none the less. Somehow, he had never imagined that things would have come together and fallen into place the way they had, so unexpectedly in a way that he couldn't have written himself.

The rest of the day had been wonderfully relaxing and as exciting and chaotic as it had been earlier, it came as a welcome change of pace. He had left Burns' place shortly after dinner that night and headed for home. Lately, it seemed the only reason Smithers had to ever return home was to check on his dog and to go to sleep at night.

He had been in the middle of doing the laundry when one of his annoying neighbors decided to descend upon his peaceful evening at home. The guy was a real whiner and a downer that would dampen the mood of even the most cheerful of people. Even the likes of Richard Simmons would come away with a scowl on his face after dealing with this guy. His name was Stanley and he was quite possibly the most boring and depressing man in existence. He was middle aged, average weight and build and he had receding brown hair with a few tufts of hair pulled over his balding spot for coverage.

Always complaining and whining about his miserable life and his various hypochondriac afflictions: insomnia, migraine headaches, his divorce, Smithers couldn't keep track of them all nor did he care to even try. Stanley was a true tragic figure if he'd ever seen one and Stanley made sure that everyone in his vicinity was privy to that fact.

At the mention of his pending divorce, Smithers had had enough and had finally managed to get rid of him by telling him that he had a contagious rare disease he'd contracted from an insect while on an African Safari. That excuse seemed to have spooked poor Stan and he promptly left. He had the feeling that that little lie had just bought himself a couple of Stan-free weeks. He hated to be so insensitive to the poor guy, but one could only take so much and he was actually starting to bring down Smithers' mood. However, he could try to throw the guy a complement and a few encouraging words whenever he could to make up for it.

Now, he was finally alone and had a chance to kick back and relax, his poor neglected pup Hercules finally got the attention he deserved, sitting on his lap on the couch while Smithers caught up on the latest crappy reality shows. He'd also had time to finish up the latest chapter of his Bloodlust novel and he was quite pleased at how it had turned out, editing it until he was sure that he could edit it no longer.

Now, he found that the added pressure of knowing Burns was actually waiting to read it made him more nervous about his writing abilities than ever, yet it also brought out the perfectionist in him. As he sat at the desk in his room, finishing up a few last minute edits to the story on his laptop, his phone rang. He grabbed the phone from his desk and answered.

"Hello, Waylon here!" He answered cheerfully.

"Oh hi! It's about time you finally answered! Still busy hon?" came Stella's concerned voice from the other end.

"Look, I'm so sorry I snapped at you when you called earlier. I really was busy at Burns' place." Smithers apologized. He hadn't the time for pleasantries earlier while he and Burns had been entertaining themselves in the bedroom; however now, the guilt of his harsh tone with Stella was really sinking in.

"Burns' place huh? So I take it you guys have worked everything out then! That's good to here!" she laughed. "I guess my little pep talk with Burns at the banquet really payed off!"

"Pep talk?"

"Oh... we talked about this and that..." Stella hesitated, seemingly debating whether to tell him, "I told him that you had me concerned... and that he shouldn't have badmouthed you."

"You told him that?" Smithers exclaimed. "You actually scolded C. Montgomery Burns? You know, you're a lot braver than I gave you credit for!" he laughed.

"Um... There's more... actually I..." Stella muttered. His interest was piqued; she was hiding something.

"You what?" he asked rather urgently.

"I-I... I slapped him!" Stella blurted out bluntly, he could here her sudden gasp of breath upon her admission.

"Slapped him? Why? Are you insane woman?" Smithers asked incredulously, leaning forward in his seat, wondering if he'd heard her correctly.

"Well... He was mean..." Stella pouted defensively. "I wasn't really thinking when I did it."

"Well what did he do about it?" asked Smithers.

"Nothing really. Naturally he looked a little shocked, but when I told him how things were with you, he seemed to take my words seriously... Of course I may have exaggerated the truth a little, but I seemed to have gotten through to him." said Stella, seemingly priding herself on her fortitude.

"What exactly did you tell him?" Smithers questioned, his voice raising with excitement and slight irritation. "The man seemed to be under the impression that I was going to jump off of a four story balcony! He nearly had a heart-attack!"

"See? There ya go! He really does care!" she laughed.

"Stella!"

"Now, now! No reason to get excited! Things worked out for the best didn't they?" she asked, her nervous laughter continuing, becoming quite defensive.

Smithers took a deep breath. She was right. There really was no harm done. In fact, if anything, he could say that he owed her the world. Whatever she had told Monty had resulted in bringing them closer and in the end, who knows how long their little disagreement would have dragged on. After that, Burns' fear of loosing him seemed to have given him a change of heart, prompting him to seize the moment and to throw caution to the wind. It made him feel really good that Burns really did care about him, even admitting that he loved him that night on the balcony, though it had been during a state of panic, but in his mind, it still counted.

"Waylon? You still there?" Stella's voice rang through his ear, interrupting his thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh yeah." Smithers paused. "You know, I was just thinking... I really should give you more credit. In fact, I really am forever in your dept and I couldn't thank you enough. If it weren't for you, we probably wouldn't have... worked things out so quickly." Smithers answered, hoping he sounded as heartfelt as he really felt, his words carefully chosen as not to be to revealing just yet.

"Really?" she asked curiously. He was still a bit uncomfortable to share such things that he held so sacred, but he could tell she was eager to hear more. Perhaps he owned her a few details as he deemed her trustworthy enough.

He told her of the kiss on the balcony with all the proper embellishments and flowery language, describing the crisp night air, the slight breeze and a night sky inundated with countless stars which provoked a sense of magic about the scene.

"Ah! Be still my beating heart! I wish I had stories like that to tell! It deserves to be written down for all to enjoy!" said Stella, her voice taking on a dreamy quality. "Move over Danielle Steel!"

Smithers rolled his eyes at her overtly emotional praise, a slight twinge of red coloring his cheeks as he had become a bit carried away with his poetic description. He only hoped that he could remember enough to jot it down later.

"Pretty soon old Burnsie will be smitten enough to take things a step further if you catch my drift!" she joked. Unaware of just how perceptive she really was.

"Ah... uh... yeah!" Smithers laughed nervously. There was know reason to let her in on everything, certainly not what went on behind closed doors.

"You already did didn't you? Man that Burns is a fast one isn't he?" Stella joked, her nasally laugher blasting through the phone. "I'll bet he didn't even make it home from the banquet before he made his move!"

"Stella, please!" Smithers exclaimed, his face becoming even more red by the second.

"Ha, I'm just messing with ya." she laughed. "I'm just glad things are working out for you for once."

"Yeah, thanks."

"You know, the real reason I was trying to get a hold of you was to ask about my job at the plant. Do you think Burns has another position for me? Since Lindsey is gone? I have great organizational skills and experience in office work."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that. I'll have a talk with Mr. Burns. I'm sure we can work something out." Smithers reassured her. He had the feeling that he could put up with having an actual friend at the plant for once and he would actually miss her if she were to move back to Shelbyville. It's hard to believe he could feel that way for her, especially given his first impression of the pushy, flirtatious lady that strolled into the plant the first day they met.

"Thanks! I really need that job so I can get settled here in Springfield and get out of Lindsey's apartment! I really hate moving in on someone like that. I had this girl once that moved in with me and I thought I'd never get rid of her! It really is a shame for someone to stay someplace when they know they aren't wanted. I despised her really... ruined two freaking years of my life! You know she never even apologized for steeling granny's handmade quilts! A truly priceless heirloom! Granny dedicated her life to her quilting and now... That was one ungrateful-"

"Oh! I have something burning in the oven! Smoke everywhere!" Smithers lied, still sitting in his bedroom at his desk. He knew just when Stella was going off into one of her tangents, so he took this as his cue to cut her off. "I'll have to get back to you later, bye."

"Okay, sure you do..." said Stella suspiciously. "Bye babe." Smithers hung up and set his cell back onto the desk and laughed. Some of the people in his life were just so entertaining and peculiar. Even crazy old Stan served to entertain him, namely when he and his friends made lighthearted jokes about him behind his back, but that Stella really was one of a kind.

A sudden rustling from the window caught his eye. He stood up and walked towards the window to investigate. He pulled back the white curtain's and peered out to the ground below. Certainly no one would be lurking outside his bedroom window as it was a second story apartment, but he could have sworn that something was out there... or someone.

He went out to the living-room and grabbed the baseball bat that he had placed near the door for protection, his heart suddenly speeding faster as he heard a clatter from just outside his front door! Something was on his balcony! He slowly peeled back the curtain on the door window, cautiously looking for the source of the noise, yet he saw nothing suspicious. He highly doubted an opossum or a raccoon would be daring enough to scale the steps of his balcony, especially since he had no garbage or anything up there that would attract them.

He slowly edged the door open, peeking though the crack. It appeared that the source of the noise had gone; however, there appeared to be something lying in front of his door. He undid the chained door lock, stepped onto the balcony and picked up what appeared to be a dozen roses with a card attached.

"What the- Who could this be from?" said Smithers, amazed that anyone would send him flowers. He'd never been sent flowers in his entire life. The card was embellished with red and pink vines and leaves pattern on white parchment. He flipped it open and read.

_To my beloved Waylon._

_Though our years may be far apart,_

_may are hearts grow closer with every day._

_Love, Your Secret Admirer._

"This can't be from Mr. Burns!" Smithers spoke, yet the words seemed to fit. Would Mr. Burns actually be so impulsively romantic and bold to send him such a gift? It just didn't seem like him. He had to admit, he always thought sending and receiving flowers as terribly cliched and too traditional for his tastes, but receiving them certainly felt nice, if not a bit unusual.

- o - o - o -

He felt a warmth from the inside. It was an all encompassing warmth that made his face glow with the youthful vigor of a teen that had fallen in love for the first time, not fully understanding it, at the same time, not really needing to. If Burns himself felt this way, then he could only imagine how Smithers felt having waited so patiently for his love to be reciprocated, stubbornly keeping it all to himself for most of his life.

To feel this way for another man, years ago, would have seemed unfeasible. He still felt a slight awkwardness about his new unorthodox relationship with Smithers, a part of him feeling as if it were semi-incestuous bordering on pedophiliac, but he knew such fears were ridiculous.

Smithers had left shortly after dinner and the place felt terribly empty in his absence. It was something that he'd never noticed until recently and it was odd, allowing his attention to become centered on Waylon so often when previously, he hadn't.

Smithers had eaten dinner with him and they'd eaten steak, mashed potatoes and green peas. As always, Smithers had prepared a lavish meal and made sure that he ate a little bit of everything on his plate upon which Burns scolded him for sounding too much like his mother. Overall, things in their routine had remained, for the most part, unchanged; though, the bath he'd shared with Smithers was the exception.

It was starting to grow dark outside and it was about time for Smithers to return as he often did at night to check on him. Clothed in his velvet, royal blue robe and matching slippers, he sat in front of the fire place, reading a book titled _The Great Gatsby_ in which he and the main character had quite a few similarities, both Yale graduates, serving in the army and returning home to begin a career. Burns yawned tiredly after reaching the last line of the book that he'd read countless times.

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." He read aloud. He closed the book and set it on the side table and yawned again, stretching his arms above his head. He stood up from his seat and tiredly headed towards his room, ready for a good night's sleep whether Smithers showed up or not; a part of him wishing that he would.

He entered his bedroom, slipped off his robe and sat on the side of the bed, kicking off his slippers. He fluffed his pillow and then crawled beneath the covers, curling up comfortably on his side and wondered whether or not he should wait up for Smithers or whether he should just try to get some sleep.

- o - o - o -

Smithers stopped in to check on Burns at around nine o'clock that night, knowing that Burns was probably expecting him. He made his way up to Burns' room, quietly opened the door and crept in. It appeared that the man was already asleep, noting the shallow breathing and the peaceful look brought on only by slumber. Intimidating and domineering by day, yet a perfect angel by night was the best way to describe him. Smithers approached his bedside.

"Mm... You're late." Burns muttered tiredly, blinking his eyes in the dark room. Smithers smiled, gaining a certain satisfaction in knowing that Burns was actually waiting up for him.

"I didn't mean to wake you Monty." Smithers apologized, his voice soft as to not disturb him too much further. "I'm just going to straighten up the room a little before I leave." Smithers spoke softly. "You let me know if there's anything you need."

"Mm hm." Burns replied, his words interrupted by a yawn as he watched Smithers pick up his robe from the chair and place it on a hanger. Smithers straightened up the room as he had planned, fumbling nervously when he noticed that Burns was watching him a couple of times. After he was all done and there was nothing left to do to stall his departure any further, he approached Burns.

"Well, I guess I'm done for the day then." Smithers replied, lost in Burns' eyes for a moment as Burns stared at him with an unreadable expression, causing him to loose his train of thought. "I-I suppose that... I should be heading home, then..." he hesitated. "Are you sure there isn't... something more that you need?"

"Stay with me." Burns replied, his monotone plea rather blunt and catching Smithers off guard. Smithers blinked a couple of times, wondering if he had misheard him.

"You... You mean... all night?" he stuttered.

"I can't seem to fall asleep anyway." Burns replied nonchalantly, averting his gaze from Smithers. "Stay the night... don't make me repeat it again." he added with a hint of irritation.

"Certainly! I- I... I'd love to stay... but what will I wear?" He stuttered even more uncontrollably.

"Nothing."

"Huh?" Smithers blinked. The sudden shyness of his kicking in again as his pulse quickened.

"Who needs clothes? It's the middle of summer? Go ahead, strip off that tacky, second-hand suit and get into bed. Perhaps you can bore me to sleep with tales of your miserable life."

"In your bed sir?"

"Smithers! Do I have to spell it out for you?" Burns raised his voice. The heat rising to his cheeks must have made him as red as a tomato, but he obliged with Burns request. Smithers took off his green jacket and bow-tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. The bedside lamp was on, providing the room with a dim, comforting light as he stripped down further, until he was wearing nothing but his blue striped boxers.

"You know sir, I brought over the next chapter of Bloodlust, in case you want to read it tomorrow." Smithers neatly gathered his clothes and placed them in the chair in front of Burns' desk. "I worked very hard on it."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I hope you'll like it."

"Well that remains to be seen." said Burns. "Why don't you go fetch it then? Perhaps a night-time story would be just the thing for my insomnia."

"Great! I'll go get it then!" with that, Smithers exited Burns, room, still clad in his blue boxer shorts and retrieved the pages from his bag and returned to Burns' room, his nerves on edge as he anticipated Burns reading it. When he returned, he handed the pages to him. Burns took the chapter and placed it on his lap, his attention turning to Smithers expectantly.

"What?" Smithers asked, confused as to why Burns was starting at him.

"The shorts. Lose them." Burns ordered calmly.

"Uh... okay, Smithers replied, laughing nervously and swallowing as his throat felt suddenly dry. He did just as Burns requested and pulled the shorts down past his hips, falling to the floor. Who was he to deny a request from Mr. Burns, he never had, and wouldn't think of starting now. Hearing Burns being so demanding, actually wanting to view him naked was thrilling and at the same time, intimidating. Burns certainly had a perverted side to himself, he'd always known that.

"Good." Burns smirked. "Now get into bed and read the story to me aloud."

"Me? Read aloud?" Smithers asked, such a request coming so unexpectedly.

"I'm too tired to read it myself. You wouldn't mind would you Smithers?" Burns asked, his voice softening to something that almost sounded more like a polite request than an order. Without another word, Smithers crawled into the empty space next to Burns and took the pages from him. Once Burns had become comfortably nestled up against him, he cleared his throat and began to read.

- o - o - o -

_My Immortal Phoenix_

_The light. In an instance that was all he knew, illuminating his senses and for a brief moment in time, he thought he was still out laying naked in the field of grass, waiting for the sun to seal his fate. Disoriented and unaware of his surroundings, panic seized him and he abruptly opened his eyes, his eyelids stinging painfully as he gathered his wits about him._

_His body was weak. It was a weakness that he hadn't felt in ages in which every muscle was in pain and if it weren't for the hope that Lycius had brought to him in his darkest hour, he would have already been gone to the world. His eyes watered from the searing sting of exposure. The unforgiving sun had already wrecked havoc on his now frail body, even in the short time that he had been exposed to it and for the first time in his life, he truly felt old and debilitated. He looked down to his hands which were slightly red tinged, skin slightly peeling as though from a simple sunburn as mortals would have. Thankfully, his skin didn't appear too bad; however as a trade-off, he felt much worse than he looked. He still wore Lycius' black cloak draped loosely around him and even the soft material rubbed uncomfortably against his skin wherever it touched._

_The tale of Icarus, flying so foolhardily too close to the sun, his wings of wax and feathers melting away and leading him to certain death had always been a favorite amongst his kind. For centuries, its message struck close to home for both vampires and humans alike, both taking a different message of warning from the timeless tale. Though never, had its meaning had such significance for him than it had now._

_He breathed heavily, taking in his surroundings. He recognized it to be Lycius' bedroom. Noting the dimly lit, gray-stone walls, the violently red windowless curtains and shelves upon shelves of books lining the walls, achingly similar to Wallace's room. Across the spacious room from him, there was a huge, king sized bed and that was when he felt a rush of emotions as he spotted him. Beneath the golden-embroidered covers of Lycius' bed, slept Wallace, seemingly lost in a state of slumber. He only hoped that he was sleeping._

_Even in his weakened state, he sat up and in a lapse of judgment, he attempted to stand, gritting his teeth as the pain seized his legs and moved up his entire body, making it difficult to move. Lycius' cloak fell from around his shoulders and into a crumpled heap into his lap as he attempted to move again, but to no avail._

_"Faith! Oh, of this pain... pain un-felt for ages." Baines spoke aloud, not sure whether to be angry at his own body for betraying him or to be angry at himself for betraying his body. All he desired in that moment was to be by Wallace's side and he couldn't even afford the strength for that._

_Just then, the door creaked open and in came Lycius, rushing to his side._

_"Mortimer! You awaken... so soon?" he exclaimed, kneeling down to Baines' bedside. After a moment of brief panic, his expression softened, his voice considerably calmer. "I've underestimated you then." he laughed._

_Baines looked into his eyes, desperately searching for any sign of Wallace's condition, almost afraid to ask._

_"Wallace... tell me..." he uttered. Unable to even form complete sentences. He swallowed, preparing himself for anything, waiting with baited breath for Lycius' reply._

_"Fear not, for he is safe. Yonder, he sleeps." he assured him, gesturing towards the bed where the young man slept. Baines exhaled, the weight of the world off of his shoulders for the time being. Baines attempted to move once again, gritting his teeth as he placed one foot onto the floor, finding that he was unable to put any weight on it._

_"Aye, this pain! The sun... it is unforgiving... as they say." Baines grunted, a slight hint of laughter showing through in his strained voice._

_"Twas the very words I believed uttered by the fabled Icarus upon his last day, eh wot?" Lycius laughed._

_"Lye, bring me to him." said Baines, the feeling of being so utterly helpless was like torture, but not so much as what he imagined that Wallace went through._

_"Of course," said Lycius, standing to his full height and moving to pull back the covers next to Wallace, "but I implore you, you mustn't alarm him if he awakens. For this will most likely be a frightening experience. Every inch of his body will feel a rush of new sensations, his senses overwrought." warned Lycius. The word 'if' catching Baines' attention, bringing a disgustingly sinking feeling to the pit of his stomach, issuing forth a whole new wave of concern and fear._

_Lycius approached him, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Baines, scooping him up effortlessly from from the makeshift bed he had prepared. Baines winced, everywhere Lycius touched was irritated with his painful burns and a soreness he felt to the bone. He was carefully placed onto the bed next to his beloved, Lycius pulling the covers over him and taking a step back._

_Baines let out a heavy sigh as he recovered from being carried, he had almost forgotten what real pain had felt like; it had been so long since he had felt it to such a degree. He looked over to Wallace, his eyes instantly falling on the bandage covering the bite marks he knew were marring his neck. It appeared that Lycius had painstakingly cleaned the wounds, blood no longer matting his dirty-blond hair as it had which Baines was thankful for as he didn't think he could handle seeing him like that again._

_"When will he awaken?" asked Baines, unable to tear his eyes away from the angelic face he thought he'd never see again. Longing for those green eyes, shining so youthfully with a love that always took his breath away with every glimpse._

_"Hopefully soon, certainly before nightfall I'd wager."_

_So beautiful..." Baines squinted through watery eyes, managing to reach a hand to Wallace and stroking his face which was now warmer to the touch than that sickeningly, clammy coldness he had felt earlier. He drank in the sight of him for a long moment, wishing to hold him close, yet yielding disappointingly to his current limitations. "Tell me... his teeth... are they...?"_

_"Of that, I cannot be certain, but I assume they have already grown in." the tall, raven-haired vampire replied. "You need blood, that much is certain. I will return so don't you move."_

_Baines laughed at the absurdity of his comment and closed his eyes as Lycius quickly exited the room. The full ramifications of Lycius' actions were only now sinking in, cementing their fate. It was the breaking of a blood oath which Baines had initiated that one fateful night six years ago upon his very first meeting with the young child from the sleepy town of Oxfordshire. An oath that had sequentially culminated in his addiction to his apprentice, just as all vampires have endured since the beginning of time, entwining their fates. To have this promise broken by another vampire is all but unheard of._

_Baines' bloodlust for Wallace, from then on would be unending. For it would have ended had he fulfilled the blood oath and taken that second, venom filled bite. Of the consequences, neither Baines, nor Lycius could be certain._

_A mortal's death Wallace did suffer. A phoenix rising from the depths of humanity thus giving birth to new life, a new form. Immortality. Whether the prophecy was truly fulfilled was uncertain to Baines as he lay next to his sleeping phoenix pondering the struggles yet to come. Dealing with the aftermath of what the mortals saw during that bloody scene as Baines took flight as well as Wallace's reaction upon awakening, there was so much uncertainty; too much reality. What lay ahead, yet to be foreseen._

- o - o - o -

Surprisingly, Burns had managed to stay awake for the whole thing and halfway through, had actually began rubbing his hand along Smithers' front, all along his abs and his chest slowly. Those random, absent-minded strokes, halting his voice a couple of times as he attempted to read. Burns' hands crept so tortuously slowly along his body sending shivers through him. Burns laughed as Smithers found himself unable to read as he gasped.

"Quite a thought provoking piece of work Smithers."

"Really? So... was it okay?" Smithers asked hopefully.

"I liked it." Burns yawned, "but you really should work on your reading voice, I could barely understand you with all that fidgeting and gasping you were doing." Burns snickered.

"Well, you didn't fall asleep yet, so what else can I do to..."

Burns interrupted him with another yawn as he snuggled closer to him, comfortably resting his arm across Smithers' belly. Smithers quietly placed the pages on the table beside him and switched the lamp off, drenching the room in darkness. By the time his eyes had adjusted to the dark, Smithers too, found himself claimed by sleep.

* * *

**A.N – Thanks for all the new readers as well as people that have been around since the beginning for all of the encouragement. I would never give up writing, but I've been so busy this year that I've become distracted. I still haven't lost my enthusiasm for writing so no worries.**

**LOL, I actually couldn't stop yawing after writing this chapter for some reason. It really does become contagious.**

**To be continued!**


	35. Revenge is Sweet

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Revenge is Sweet**

Burns sat in his posh, red swivel chair, clicking his ink pen pensively, for lack of anything better to do to keep himself occupied. The new workday had begun and after settling down with his morning coffee and browsing inattentively through a couple of pages of paperwork that awaited his approval, he'd found himself hopelessly distracted all day.

Saying that a lot a had changed between him and his assistant would be the understatement of the century; however, there were many things that hadn't changed at all which he was grateful for. He listened, distracted by the kaws and chatters of the crows that congregated just outside his window every day.

Much to his dismay, he simply couldn't shake the previous evenings events from his mind and all day long, he had found it difficult to stay focused on his work schedule as images of Smithers, clothing shed, face flushed with nervous desire, flashed through his mind in like a persistent slide show. Heat rose to his cheeks and his entire body as he thought of what occurred afterwords.

Far past the point of no return, he knew that this wasn't all fun and games anymore. This thing that had blossomed between them was real and he had come to the undeniable and somewhat alarming realization that love was somehow factored into the equation. He wasn't sure just when the dreaded emotion had crept it's way past his barriers and warmed frigid heart, but most likely, it was long before he was willing to admit to.

Now that he thought of it, just what was Smithers up to anyway? He had mentioned something about assessing the long overdue repairs to one of the backup battery chargers and that was the last that he had seen of him for nearly an hour.

Burns hadn't put up much of a protest against flipping the bill on the repair since he was still a little spooked over Lindsey and her fake NRC scare, but he was beginning to wonder why Smithers was even bothering to oversee the repairs since the problem had first been discovered nearly a decade ago and no one had managed to even bother with it until today. Mr. Burns reached for the intercom button on his desk and pressed it.

"Smithers, report to my office! I repeat, Mr. Smithers report to my office... pronto!" his voice echoed out across the entire plant. He then leaned back into his chair, hands placed neatly in his lap and casually awaited his assistant's arrival. The day had already proven to be awkward as expected, but not nearly as exciting as he had anticipated. A couple of times, when their eyes met from across his desk, Smithers had the most adorable, addled expression, hanging onto his every word and action. It was simply too tempting to ignore being able to render Smithers so speechless and he was beginning to enjoy this immensely. This was still his game and he still had control of the board.

A sufficient amount of time had passed and still, there was no sign of Smithers. Normally he was right by his side within a minute of calling him. Perplexed, Burns stood up and exited his office to investigate. He made his way down the stairs and walked amongst the crowd of workers, many of them quickly hustling to appear as if they had been working really hard. All voices fell silent as Burns passed by workers at their stations, their postures stiffening. It was all so very satisfying, yet he had no time to enjoy all of the attention when all he could think of was finding out what was keeping Smithers, his curiosity leading him on.

After a bit of asking around and speaking to the engineers at the repair site, he finally spotted Smithers in the cafeteria, standing in front of one of the vending machines with his clipboard tucked under his arm and a pen behind his ear. Burns strolled up behind him and tapped his shoulder to catch his attention.

"Not now, I'm busy-" Smithers' words halted as he turned and his eyes met Burns. "Oh! M-Monty... Mr. Burns! I-I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you!" he muttered in apology. Burns tried to hold back the smirk that threatened to crack the professional front he was trying to uphold, but this wasn't the easiest task.

"Smithers, I called you on the intercom but you never answered. Explanation?" Burns questioned staidly, his smirk now slightly showing through his words.

"I'm sorry sir. I uh... well I had these on so..." Smithers gestured towards the earplugs that hung loosely around his neck. Despite the effect Smithers' gaze was really having on him, the endearing, slightly flustered way Smithers was acting, he had to keep his wits about him as they were in public.

"Might I ask what took you so long?" asked Burns. "I was looking all over for you after you didn't answer my call."

"Oh? You were looking for me?" Smithers asked, seemingly emboldened and intrigued by this bit of information. Burns began to panic a little as the ball began to fall into Smithers' court. He didn't want it to appear as if he were being too clingy or as if he were actively seeking him out.

"You are my assistant aren't you?" Burns asked, his palms extended in front of him defensively. "So, why aren't you assisting?"

"Of course. I'm sorry." Smithers quickly apologized. "You... need me for something then?" Smithers spoke, suggestively as he reached out and brushed his fingers along Burns' arm. Burns' cautiously scanned the room to see if anyone was watching. What was Smithers thinking, touching him so blatantly in public? There were a couple of workers sitting at a nearby table eating doughnuts, but they didn't seem to be paying them any mind.

"No, not particularly." Burns said truthfully, his throat suddenly becoming dry from nervousness as he tried to swallow. In reality, he wasn't really sure himself why he had been so motivated to find Smithers when he'd only been gone for an hour. Irritation that he wasn't there within a minute of his calling, or perhaps just curiosity as to his whereabouts? That was the excuse he was going to go with anyway. Smithers leaned dangerously closer, sending warning signals all throughout his body.

"You came all the way out here to find me... obviously you-" said Smithers. Burns interrupted.

"Smithers please!" Burns stammered, placing his hand on Smithers' arm in protest, his face reddening profusely.

"You know sir, you don't have to beg." Smithers spoke, his voice husky and barely audible.

His heart raced as he finally snapped back into reality, becoming acutely aware of maintaining his authoritarian image amongst the room full of what he deemed 'mindless drones'. He glanced over to see a table full of said drones, their eyes glued to the spectacle they had caused. Sitting perfectly motionless, a piece of doughnut fell out of one guy's mouth as he gawked at them. It appeared to be the fat guy who's name he never seemed to remember. To his horror, even Carl gawked at him, blinking a couple of times in disbelief.

Burns glared at them all menacingly, before realizing the position he and Smithers were in, their hands resting on each others' arms as if in an embrace. Burns quickly pulled away from Smithers and took a step back. Visibly embarrassed by all of the unwanted attention, Burns lashed out in anger.

"Smithers stop all of this nonsense and act like a professional!" Burns roared before storming off, his brow furrowed with anger. As he left, he could hear voices once they thought he was out of earshot.

"You think old Burnsie's finally on to something?" asked Carl. Burns gasped; was he really the last to know? He strained his ears to listen.

"Who cares?" answered the fat guy.

"I dunno..." said Lenny, after a brief pause. "I think they're kind of sweet." Burns eyes widened at the unexpected comment. He couldn't believe what he was actually hearing. What shocked him even more was that he called them 'sweet'! "Like an old married couple." Lenny continued.

"Yeah, kind of. In a creepy, Woody Allen sort of way." Carl added.

"You guys must be totally hammered." Burns heard the fat guy say, his words muffled like he had just scarfed down another doughnut. Burns ran his hand across his forehead and sighed as he continued onward towards his office.

He should have known that Smithers wouldn't be quite as discreet as he would have liked and he had the feeling he was going to have to have a little talk with him once they were alone. Burns neared his office, plotting various ways to enact revenge upon his assistant's unacceptably insubordinate behavior. He was going to have to pay, one way or another.

- o - o - o -

Smithers didn't know what had gotten into him to behave the way he did and he feared the wrath that Burns would bestow upon him the moment he entered the man's office. He had left shortly after Burns had and had heard the workers' comments from where he stood just outside the cafeteria. He only hoped Burns hadn't heard even though their remarks seemed to be mostly harmless speculation. Though, the fact that Lenny actually thought they seemed sweet together came as a surprise.

His break was nearly over and just as he was about to head back to his office, he saw Stella bounding towards him from across the hallway.

"Hi there!" Stella greeted enthusiastically, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Whoa, watch it Stel, the guys around here are going to start getting the wrong idea about us!" Smithers laughed.

"Oh you!" Stella slapped his arm and cackled so loudly with laughter that he felt the urge to cover his ears. She sighed, her mood quickly shifting to something more calm, more melancholy "So today's officially my last day here." she added.

Since she seemed to have been an innocent pawn in Lindsey's game, Smithers hoped that he would be able to convince Burns to find her another position at the plant so she could move out of Lindsey's place and finally settle down in Springfield. He really hated to see her go since she had practically helped to kick-start his relationship with Burns and had become a real friend despite his initial impression of her.

"Don't be so sure about that. I think we can get something worked out with Mr. Burns." Smithers assured her, hoping that Burns' current mood wouldn't adversely affect his decision over Stella's future employment. "I'm sure we can find some position here for you since you seem to have a real knack for... ah... problem solving."

"Well that _is_ one of my strong points. What I lack in organizational skills, I excel in everything else!" Stella bragged, inspecting her nails haughtily.

"Everything?" he laughed sceptically. "Well then, I am certain we'll be able to find a position for you! Come with me." With that, he took her hand and led her to Burns' office.

When they arrived, they stood in front of the double doors and took a moment to prepare their case. With luck, Burns will have cooled down enough to reason with him.

"It would be better for him to see you face to face." said Smithers. "It would be much harder for him to turn you down that way."

"You think?" asked Stella hopefully.

"Yeah. Besides, He's a little miffed at me right now, so I'm not sure I want to be alone with him just yet."

"Ooh, having a little lover's quarrel?" Stella teased.

"Hmm... something like that." Smithers laughed, "Don't worry. He may seem rough and tough on the outside, but he really is an old softie." Smithers patted her on the back reassuringly before opening the doors and entering the office.

"I hope you're right." he heard her mutter as they approached Burns at his desk. He could feel Stella clutching onto the back of his jacket as if using him as a shield to hide from Burns. This didn't seem like the brave, assertive Stella that he had come to know. She really must be desperate for the job for her to behave so nervously.

Mr. Burns took notice of his presence, glancing up at him as he sat behind his desk, his expression unreadable. Burns quietly pushed aside the stack of folders in front of him and tented his hands in his deviously characteristic way, his focus fully centered on Smithers.

"Smithers." Burns stated calmly, a subtle smirk on his face. Smithers swallowed. The seductive way Burns always managed to say his name, even unintentionally, was even more tantalizing now as he remembered just how Burns had sounded panting and gasping his name the night before. He took a moment to compose himself before speaking.

"Sir... I..."

Burns cocked an eyebrow inquisitively before he could finish his sentence, his eyes unwavering. Lately, the man seemed so keenly attuned to the effect he had over him that it seemed like Burns viewed it as a game of sorts, toying with him at every opportunity. He knew he couldn't simply be imagining it all.

"Smithers, I would like a word with you."

"Well... now that you mention it, there is a very pressing matter that I wish to speak with you about. Now that we're in the privacy of your office..." Smithers' words fell silent as Burns slowly stood, leaned over his desk and reached forward, placing a finger on Smithers' mouth to silence him

"Don't speak. I know what you want."

"Y-you do?" Smithers stammered.

"Yes." Burns replied, placing both hands on his desk as he leaned forward. "And while I'd like nothing more than to indulge in the forbidden pleasures of which you seek, might I remind you that it is highly unprofessional to dilly dally and fool around in front of others like a couple of sex-crazed teenagers!" Burns spoke, his voice forceful, yet remarkably void of anger. If anything, he had a sort of sadistic glint in his eye that was intriguing to the masochist in him, yet at the same time he had to reign in his own desires as he still had Stella hiding behind him. A fact Mr. Burns didn't seem privy to as of yet.

"Mr. Burns please!" Smithers pleaded in an attempt to stop Burns from further embarrassment. He felt Stella's giggling and bouncing quietly against his back as Burns continued.

"No amount of groveling and platitudes will work on me this time Smithers." Burns spoke, stroking Smithers' face gently with the back of his hand. "You know how much a detest public displays of affection Smithers..." Burns spoke softly, seductively. "However now, we're alone... "

"But sir-!" Smithers cried.

"and I'm not letting you off so easily this time." Burns leaned closer, as if leaning to kiss him. Smithers held his breath; he had to do something!

"Ms. Shapiro is here and she would like to speak with you... sir!" Smithers blurted out, effectively interrupting him. Stella gasped out with laughter briefly before quickly slapping her hands to her mouth. Smithers hung his head at the awkwardness of the moment, slapping his hand to his forehead.

"Ms... Ms. Shapiro! What a surprise!" Burns laughed nervously, his eyes wide and a bit stunned as he realized what he had almost done. Burns took a step back.

"She wants to discuss the possibility of retaining a position here at the plant." said Smithers, quickly shifting the focus to the reason he'd brought her along in the first place. "I told her that you might consider it."

"You know Monty." Stella started, but was interrupted by Smithers coughing. "I mean... Mr. Burns, you and I have a lot in common."

"We do?" asked Burns sceptically.

"Oh for sure honey! You're spunky, assertive, unafraid to tackle any challenge put in front of you like the mighty Hercules of legend!" Stella pumped her fist enthusiastically. "Or in my case Xena! By the way did you ever see that episode where Xena beat the crap out of that Callisto gal? Oh, it was epic! There was this horse chase and then the quicksand... oh don't get me started on the quicksand! And..."

"Ms. Shapiro," Burns interjected, stepping around his desk and coming to stand in front of her, "this is all fascinating, it really is, but I do believe you've digressed down a path that I admittedly have little knowledge in... Now, who exactly is this Xena character?"

"Oh come on Monty! You mean you don't know? Where were you in the 90's?" she asked.

"Well, I can barely remember the 90's since I was a wee young lad, but from what I was told..." Burns started. Smithers sighed. There seemed to be a disconnect in communication between the two as well as quite the generational gap and as entertaining as it was to listen to the both of them go of into their own little digressions, he just had to interrupt.

"Sir, she means the _1990's_ and she's talking about a sitcom that you never watched anyway." Smithers stepped in between the both of them.

"Sitcom? Then what are we even supposed to be talking about?" Burns asked, befuddled.

"It doesn't matter." Smithers sighed, "What matters is her future at the plant. So does she have any prospect of employment here or not?

"Employment?" Burns asked, still a little stunned by Stella's incessant, nonsensical ramblings. "Oh, I guess. I don't even care anymore, you deal with it Smithers."

"Really? You mean you're giving me executive privilege over the decision?" Smithers asked hopefully. Burns tapped his fingers together and walked away, pacing the floor a bit before reaching a decision. Finally he turned around and spoke.

"You submit a proposal to me and I will review it and get back to you." Burns replied.

"A proposal? Oh come on Monty, you can do better than that! At least get down on one knee like a proper gentleman!" Stella laughed. Smithers suspected her comment was one of sarcasm, but with her, one was never certain. "What?" Stella exclaimed upon seeing the looks she had gotten. "I heard the word proposal. You know how hard it is to get a man to even utter the word? It think you better take it while you can honey."

"Fine. Then if that is all Ms. Shapiro, you're dismissed. You may finish out the workday helping Mr. Smithers and I'll have my people call you when we reach a consensus."

"Oh, that sounds splendid!" Stella cheered. "I'll just leave you two to your foreplay then. I'm sure the walls are sound-proof." she added. Burns shot her a look that could scare Atilla the Hun himself, to which she let out a squeak.

"Do you think you could step a little to your right?" said Burns to Stella, motioning his hand in the direction he wanted her to go.

"What?" she asked.

"No NO!" Smithers yelled, lunging for Mr. Burns' hand before he had the chance to press the trap door button on the console hidden in his desk. "Don't... trust me. Just go. I'll talk to you later." Smithers told her.

"Oh okay. See you later then." Stella cautiously back stepped to the door. "Call me." she mouthed silently in Smithers' direction before quickly ducking out of the office. Mr Burns stalked towards the door and locked it behind her. When he turned around, Smithers gulped as Burns advanced towards him threateningly. He backed up a little until he felt the desk behind him, effectively blocking him from escape. The authoritative aura Burns emitted was something to be feared as well as one of the very things that had always turned him on the most. His pulse quickened as Mr. Burns leaned towards him, grabbing a handful of his shirt as he began to speak.

"Smithers, you have been acting highly unprofessional all day. The behavior you've displayed down in the cafeteria in front of all those wide-eyed, slack-jawed morons was deplorable!"

"Deplorable... yes sir, I know." Smithers stammered nervously. "It's just... when I'm around you I-"

"What do you suggest we do about this, hm?" Burns uttered, his grip on Smithers' shirt loosening. Smithers backed up a few inches, almost sitting on the desk. He swallowed nervously as he was becoming more than just a little turned on by Burns' forcefulness. The man wore a barely noticeable smirk as he let go of his shirt. He gasped as Burns hands brushed over his chest, smoothing out the wrinkles from his shirt before his fingers began working over the buttons teasingly as if he were toying with the idea of unbuttoning it.

"You can just say goodbye to that Christmas bonus this year." Burns spoke in a husky tone, laden with restrained lust.

"I never get one anyway." Smithers uttered breathlessly as squirmed uncomfortably, now sitting atop the desk.

"Hmph well... we'll just have to find another suitable punishment for you then, won't we." Burns breathed, managing to finally undo the top button of Smithers' shirt. Before long, Burns had managed to undo all of the buttons and had brought his mouth to Smithers chest, kissing a trail all along every exposed area of skin he could find. Smithers closed his eyes, a whimpering sound escaping his lips before he could contain it. Soon, his fingers nimbly found their way to Burns' hair, gently weaving his fingers through it as Burns' mouth explored his chest and lower to his abdomen.

It seemed almost surreal and a bit naughty a thing to be doing in an office, Burns' office to be more precise. Burns' hands finally joined in on the exploration, creeping beneath his shirt that hung loosely opened and sending shivers through him even more as Burns kissed and touched every inch exposed before him.

Burns pulled back, his face flushed with desire mirroring his own. His fingers then stroked agonizingly slow down Smithers' chest until he reached the hem of his pants. Smithers stared down at him; surely he wouldn't be so bold would he?

Burns leisurely began unbuttoning Smithers' pants, his cool hand teasing it's way down beneath the fabric and causing him to jolt when he felt fingers grazing along his now hardened flesh. Smithers sighed. He couldn't believe that Burns would even consider fooling around like this during work hours, then again, Burns always set his own rules no matter the situation.

Burns touched, stroked and teased him a little longer before removing his hand from Smithers and pushing him, motioning for him to scoot back further onto the desk to which he obliged. So many times he had passed by that very desk, never once really believing that Burns could ever want him. Now, he found himself trembling beneath Burns' touch, lips meeting his urgently.

"Monty... " Smithers sighed.

"Mmm...mm..." was Burns' only reply as his mouth trailed down Smithers' body, his hands fiddling with the clasps of Smithers' pants and sliding them down and inch or two. His hands soon returned beneath the fabric, freeing his arousal from the constraining clothing, the cool air chilling him. Burns glanced up at him momentarily before turning his attention to Smithers' building desire, uncertain just what the older man had in mind for him, the anticipation making it all the more breathtaking.

Burns' skillful hand played along his strained flesh as Smithers leaned back onto his elbows, his whole body tensing at the touch. As much as he tried to suppress it, his desire provoked a low moan from his throat, Burns' hand continuously provoking more sounds from him. Burns then dared to venture lower until his mouth hovered dangerously close. He seemed hesitant for a moment, slowing his hand as if contemplating something. His mouth hovered so close, lips finally grazing lightly along the side of his arousal. His whole body tensed as Burns experimented with this new, foreign concept, his tongue darting out cautiously, testing the limits of his own bravery. Smithers bit his lip; so far, Burns didn't seem put off by the idea, becoming more emboldened by the second, pursuing this new venue of pleasure that he seemed to have shied away from earlier.

He cried out, quickly biting his hand to quiet himself as Burns indulged him even more, warm lips enclosing over him. He moved his hips involuntarily, engulfing himself further within the warmth that was slowly consuming him. His hand once again found thier way to Burns' hair until Smithers was practically panting with need as every little motion Burns made fueled his desire even further.

"Stop fidgeting..." Burns uttered softly, glancing up at him and letting his hand take control for a brief moment before returning his mouth to the task at hand, gaining a bit of experience as he acclimated to the rhythm. The intercom buzzed once, though Burns ignored it and after a few minutes of what felt like eternity and a couple more buzzes from the intercom, Smithers felt the impending pangs of completion ebbing ever closer. He didn't have to warn Burns as he seemed to sense this as well, looking up to his face, their eyes meeting momentarily as Burns struggled to keep him from fidgeting too much.

"Sir... mmm...!" it was all the verbal warning he could muster as he felt the waves of pleasure ripping through him. "I'm... I'm sorry." Smithers apologized. He had meant to give him more of a warning than that; however, he'd found himself barely able to speak.

"Hmph..." Burns retorted with a smirk. Smithers found himself once again speechless at the sight of Burns' reaction, the man's face flushed red, yet still he wore that confident smirk. For someone so unaccustomed to such an activity, he certainly seemed to take to it quite well. "Not quite an effective punishment hm?" Burns laughed quietly, standing up and straightening his jacket.

"I... uh..." Smithers muttered, taking a moment to catch his breath. He sat back up, noticing that everything on Burns' desk had been knocked to the floor, papers and various office supplies scattered all around. The intercom buzzed once more, this time Burns answered, cursing under his breath before reaching over the desk and pressing the button.

"What is it?" Burns snapped irritably. Smithers hopped down off the desk, quickly zipping his fly and attempted to clean up his appearance the best he could manage as Burns spoke over the com.

"Someone here to see you Mr. Burns. They want to know if you're busy." came the man's voice over the intercom. Burns sighed with frustration.

"Yes I am busy. Escort them to the waiting area until I call for them." Burns responded.

"Yes sir." with that, Burns turned off the intercom and turned towards Smithers.

"Smithers, clean up this mess would you?" he ordered.

"But what about you sir? Aren't you... still..." Smithers words trailed off. He felt a little guilty getting all of the attention and giving none. Mr. Burns seemed to see where his sentence was leading.

"Later." Burns uttered quietly. They stood there awkwardly for a moment. The intercom seemed to have snapped things back into reality faster than he'd wanted. Smithers bent down to pick up the things that had fallen onto the floor, his heart still raced from what had occurred, so unexpected, so spontaneous. Though, such spontaneity had always seemed to be a reoccurring theme throughout their lifelong relationship.

* * *

**A. N. - Sorry for the delay. I was sick with something. I think it might have been the flu and dehydration, but I'm much better now! (edit: discovered it was the Norovirus) I worked really hard on this chapter even though it was a long time coming and I'm not sure how many chapters are left since I let the story wind off where it wants to, but their aren't too many to go. Any reviews are appreciated if you have the time!**

**I wasn't going to mention it since I didn't want to ruin anyone's first impression of her, but Stella has a lot of Fran Drescher in her personality. Come on, someone had to notice the similarities!**

**Until next time then!**


	36. The Unlikely Poet

**Chapter 36: The Unlikely Poet**

As much as Burns had always flaunted himself as the Don Juan of his day, he had to admit that the idea of a relationship with a man had been intimidating at first and never something he thought he'd ever need concern himself over.

His heart pounded in his chest as he watched Smithers pick up the things that had fallen from his desk moments ago. The danger, the forbidden love of a secret office romance once again igniting the same youthful flames of passion long since forgotten. Such risky, reckless behavior that Smithers had provoked of him; it was a rush of excitement not felt in many years. He'd always had a thing for romantic encounters in public places, even his only son Larry had been conceived in a museum of all places.

Smithers' face had gone as pink as could be as he clumsily placed a couple of notebooks and a glass paperweight back onto the desk, his attention so unusually focused on the placement of everything in an obvious ploy to avoid eye contact. So he was suddenly going shy now? Burns laughed quietly to himself before turning his back to his assistant, his hands clasped behind him as he gave Smithers a moment to compose himself, though he knew the moment couldn't last very long. Downstairs was a potential client waiting to have a meeting with him and he couldn't keep them waiting for too much longer.

"Smithers, could you... go fetch our visitor? Burns requested, his back still towards Smithers, "I'm ready to meet with him now."

"Ah, sure... I'll just g-go... do that." and with that unsteady response, Smithers sighed and made his way to the door, back-stepping through the exit and slowly shutting it behind him. Burns slowly walked around his desk, his mind distractedly lost in thought as he waited for his client to arrive, whomever it may be.

- o - o - o -

Smithers' heart sank when he discovered that the identity of the mysterious visitor was none other than Lindsey Naegle! He thought the whole fiasco with her was done and over with, but there she sat, he could see her through the door window in her neat little green green skirt and blazer, ready to wreak havoc into their lives all over again, he just knew it!

He was very much tempted to pull the fire alarm and just run off yelling fire like a maniac and be done with it, hoping that Lindsey would leave during all the chaos, but he knew that was simply wishful thinking. This Lindsey was a crafty one; however, after years of dealing with Burns' devious behavior, he should be able to handle any situation he convinced himself.

Smithers steeled his nerves before entering the room, burying his own extreme dislike of the woman and at least try being civil with her. He took a deep breath and entered the office upon which she instantly spotted him, a sudden, tangible chill could be felt within the distance between them, whether or not Lindsey felt the same was uncertain.

"Ms. Naegle, what the hell are you doing here?" Smithers exclaimed, unable to hide the mixture of anger and surprise he felt despite his best efforts to contain himself. He wasn't about to let anyone else toy around with Burns' emotions anymore, certainly not after their lives had finally fallen together in such a way that he'd always hoped for. He would let nothing jeopardize that. She looked up at him from her seat for a moment, apparently stunned by his sudden outburst. She was uncomfortably close as she stood up to her full height in front of him and finally spoke.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Burns' loyal hound... Tell me, has he thrown you any bones lately?" Lindsey asked in a rather mocking tone. He remained calm, determined not to give her the satisfaction of getting to him. He wasn't sure what was more annoying, her voice or that she was taller than him by a couple of inches. Lindsey took a step back and crossed her arms smugly.

"Word has it that old Burnsie has found himself quite smitten with you lately. Tell me, is there any truth to such back-fence hearsay?" His eyes grew wide at the comment. Lindsey smirked.

"I...I... that's..." Smithers stuttered, his shock irrefutably written across his face. This time, she had really struck a chord with him, a fact that he was sure pleased her to no end. Here he was, going to be the assertive one, just moments ago ready to tackle any insult thrown his way and now he found himself rendered speechless by the likes of Lindsey Naegle; so manipulative she was.

"No matter, your sordid little fantasies are of little interest to me." She scoffed dismissively, "I'm here for Mr. Burns, we have... some unfinished business to discuss." Just hearing her say his name was enough to reignite the sparks of jealousy that had claimed him so often, prompting him to jump to Burns' defense.

"Ms. Naegle, you have no scheduled appointment with him today and I would kindly ask you to leave before you cause any more grief."

"Grief for him...or for you?" Lindsey sighed irritably, "I hate to point out the obvious Mr. Smithers, but the cold hard reality is that he's never going to want someone like you. Burns is such a skirt chaser it'll be a cold day in Tahiti before he'll ever switch teams. Now please, take me to Mr. Burns this instance, what I have to say will only take a moment."

He didn't know what to say. So she didn't really know anything about his relationship with Mr. Burns and however much he wished to rub it in her face, he knew he had to respect his boss and let Burns decide to whom their secret was revealed.

"I'm sorry, but as Burns' adviser, I must ask you to leave!" Smithers spoke, gritting his teeth, his fists clenched with irritation. Lindsey moved closer, grabbing a fist full of his shirt in a way not too different than Mr. Burns would when angered.

"Now look here you little blue-collared lackey, in this town, Lindsey gets what she wants. Always. No ifs, ands or buts about it and I'll be damned if I'll let a little pansy like you get in my way!" she snarled, gripping his collar even tighter as she continued. "Now we can do this the easy way... or the hard way. It's your choice."

"I tried being civil Ms. Naegle, but I must warn you that I have no qualms when it comes to defending Mr. Burns." Smithers warned. He didn't want to cause a scene, but he had the feeling that he was going to have to call security and have her escorted out by big Tony if she didn't let up soon.

"Foolish little man. I have my ways of getting what I want. Now let me up to his office now or else you won't live long enough to regret it!" Lindsey growled.

"Lindsey!" came Burns' alarmed voice, all eyes suddenly focused on him standing there in the doorway. His face was one of shock and utter surprise at Lindsey's unexpected presence as well as the way she was clutching onto his assistant so threateningly. Burns had an almost possessive, defensive look for a moment like he'd had rarely ever seen before, at least not directed to himself. She promptly released him as quickly as a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"M-Monty! What a surprise! I was just...I..." Lindsey muttered nervously. Burns' eyebrow raised with suspicion.

"It seems I've arrived just in time. Care to explain yourself Ms. Naegle?" Burns asked, his eyes flitting between the both of them curiously. Good, now he's going to defend me against this harpy, thought Smithers. Yet, in the back of his mind, he wondered just what it was that she had to discuss with Mr. Burns. What could possibly so urgent that she had to see him in person? He had this sinking feeling that she might possibly be there to win back Burns' affections and the worst part was wondering whether or not Burns would fall under her spell again, despite all the heartache she'd caused. Knowing Burns, if a pretty lady threw herself at him, it would most likely be hard for him to resist no matter how conniving and manipulative she was.

"Now Monty, before you say a word I just want to apologize for any inconvenience I might have caused or that you think I may have caused." Lindsey began, slowly approaching Burns. "I know things haven't quite worked out between us, but speaking strictly in the business sense, I have a proposition for you." Smithers groaned exasperatedly, interrupting her.

"Here it comes..." Smithers whined. "We've had enough of your grandiose business propositions."

"Mr. Smithers, do you mind? Now as I was saying-" Lindsey began only to be interrupted once again.

"Ms. Naegle, we don't want to here anymore of this!" Smithers yelled, jumping in between the two of them. "It's probably going to be something illegal, the likes of which Mr. Burns does not want to become involved in!" With those words, Burns eyes suddenly lit up with a mischievous gleam that Smithers had learned to dread. He should have known better that to mention any prospects of illegal schemes since now, it most likely sounded even more intriguing to Mr. Burns. "Oh... oh no. What have I done?" Smithers muttered under his breath. He then stood in front of Burns, grabbing both of his hands and looked pleadingly into his eyes. "Mr. Burns please. Please don't get involved with this!" Smithers implored. Burns quickly pulled away from Smithers' grasp.

"Now Smithers, though our short lived passion... er, by that I mean Lindsey and I, may have fizzled out, one would be a fool to not listen when opportunity knocks." Burns grinned, resting a reassuring hand on Smithers' arm briefly as if silently telling him not to feel threatened by Lindsey, yet all the while his eyes remained fixated on the woman, eager to hear more of her business proposition.

"Good! It's nice that we're seeing eye to eye again Monty." she stated firmly, her flirtatious tone now replaced by the stern business voice that he was more accustomed to hearing from one of Burns' colleagues. At least that much he was thankful for. Mr. Burns neared door to leave, holding it open for Ms. Naegle.

"To my office then shall we?" Burns offered. Ms. Naegle nodded curtly and exited the room. Smithers sighed, exasperatedly dropping his hands to his sides in defeat. Burns gave him an intense, serious look as if warning him not to interfere as he held the door, waiting for him to exit.

Once they arrived at his office, Mr. Burns crossed the room, sitting at his desk and gesturing for her to sit in the chair across from him to which Ms. Naegle obliged.

"Now what I have to say may seem like an insanely radical idea at first, but please don't dismiss it without giving it due consideration." said Lindsey as she settled into her seat.

"Go on." Burns urged.

"Now as you might have heard, going green is all the buzz these days, why everyone is doing it. It's like the new buzzword of the decade! Now, with all due respect Monty, you're not exactly popular with the hip crowd with you're barely skirting past the bi-annual NRC inspections as it is." Lindsey's eyes caught his for a moment, before continuing. "Our political party could use a real boost in poll numbers, especially with the undecided independents in our next upcoming election."

"Our next upcoming election?" Burns leaned closer, elbows resting on his desk and listening eagerly.

"I'm working for Quimby's campaign this year and the projections aren't looking so good. He just isn't hip with the certain factions of the voting population. The far right and evangelicals are a shoe in, but this election we want to shake things up a bit." Lindsey proclaimed fervently, slamming her fist onto the desk for emphasis. "We want all the votes, from the the feminists to the anarchists, the gun control fanatics, even the gay vote. And we think you could help with that."

"Me help? Just what are you insinuating?" Burns leaned back, his chair creaking loudly.

I wasn't insinuating anything! I just thought that if our candidate had the endorsement of a prominent business man who happened to be in a committed relationship with his male assistant, that it would make a good impression on all the social progressives! Whether you're really gay or not is irrelevant.

"Ms. Naegle... how could that possibly help Quimby's campaign? I'm not following you." Burns gave her a look of confusion.

"We just need a little endorsement from you is all... Oh and did I mention...we'll most likely have to do away with the nuclear plant. It'll make Quimby a hero in the environmentalists eyes that he convinced you to move on to another, more cleaner power source."

"What?' Burns exclaimed. His eyes wide with the shocking nature of her request. "You must be joking! My whole life has been dedicated to this plant! Why, when I was a young lad I had big dreams of owning my very own nuclear plant! I practically eat, drink and breath nuclear energy!" Burns yelled, slamming both fist on the desk before him.

"Mmm hmm. You see? Now that's the problem we're facing." said Lindsey. "The residents of Springfield have been practically eating, drinking and breathing your nuclear waste for decades and that's precisely what Quimby intends to put a stop to. Hopefully, with your cooperation of course."

"Ms. Naegle I assure you that Nuclear energy can be just as safe as any other source of power, especially with new modern advances in the field today!" Burns stated defensively, leaning more over his desk.

"Mmm, yes. But we aren't exactly dealing with a modern, advanced plant here now are we? We desperately need you on board with us Burns and we guarantee that you won't be sorry. We will even help with the initial finances. We have researched many alternatives from wind, solar, even geo-thermal." Lindsey responded. Burns couldn't believe what he was hearing! Never would he even consider such an outlandish idea; he could never simply turn his back on a lifetime of work so easily!

"I don't want to hear it Lindsey, I'm just not interested! Nuclear energy is my first love and I'll never betray her, especially not for some ridiculous scheme to help Quimby or anyone else garner more votes!" Burns asserted. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

"Fine. This isn't the last you've heard from me." Lindsey spoke sternly as she stood from her seat, looking away from him in a haughty, less than thrilled manner. With that, she turned huffily and made her exit. She stopped just shy of the door, leaving him with her last parting words.

"Keep in touch love." she spoke adroitly with not a drop of emotion as she shut the door behind her.

- o - o - o -

Smithers breathed a sigh of relief and rushed over to Mr. Burns the very moment the door closed, grabbing him by the shoulders and planting a quick kiss on his lips; however Burns still seemed a little too dumbfounded by Ms. Naegle's visit to pay him any mind.

"I'm proud of you! You really stood up to her! All hollow promises, preying on the hopes of the naive just to win. Oh... I love you sir!" Smithers beamed happily. Burns looked past him, a blank look in his eyes.

"Fine Smithers, I'm just fine. I think I'll go out on the balcony for some fresh air." said Burns distractedly as if he hadn't even listened to Smithers' consoling words. Burns turned away, visibly upset and disheartened by Lindsey's unexpected proposition. Smithers lovingly stroked a hand down Burns' arm as the man turned to leave, noticing the distant, worried look in his eyes as he left and stepped out onto the balcony. He would have followed, but he could tell that Burns needed some time alone for a while and the balcony was often his place of solace.

It was then that Smithers noticed something from his peripheral vision that seemed out of place. He looked over to the red couch on the far side of Burns' office and noticed a white piece of paper laying there. Smithers walked over to closer inspect the mysterious envelope, curiously picking it up. It had his name written on it in beautifully elegant, cursive writing that he didn't quite recognize with a purple heart shaped sticker sealing it. He carefully opened the envelope and took out the contents which appeared to be a letter on fancy stationary, it even appeared to have been scented with some exotic fragrance. He laughed quietly. Apparently he had received another proclamation of love and he was eager so see what his "secret admirer" had to say this time.

_To my dearest Waylon, I send my love. _

_Passions simmering so deep,  
__stealing glances while you sleep.  
__Stolen moments, watching you from afar,  
__watching over you like a shining star._

_Through your window,  
__yet never too far.  
__Never straying,  
__never betraying._

_Chained are my passions,  
__that bind you to me.  
__Waiting to be unleashed,  
__mine eternally._

_The flames of love forever burning, forever churning.  
__Igniting the darkness of my soul, never spurning.  
__So dark and delightfully sinful are my desires,  
__wanting you and you alone, my heart never tires._

_All is fair in love and war.  
__For those that try to come between us,  
__I'll promise to even the score.  
__For those that even dare try,  
__they are the ones that are soon to die._

_Forever yours, your secret love. _

Smithers couldn't help but appreciate the morbid sense of humor Burns added and was greatly impressed that he could craft such eloquent poetry considering he was normally awful at writing love letters of any kind. Smithers chuckled lightly to himself, holding the letter to his chest lovingly before stuffing it into his coat pocket. Burns really did surprise him at times and he would have to show him just how much he appreciated the gesture later whenever they found time alone again.

* * *

**A.N. - Thanks for waiting so long and sorry for the long hiatus... life and all you know. My creatively suddenly burned out for a while, but it has finally returned! :) I hope you've enjoyed this chapter.**

**Who'd have thought Burns could be such a poet? Especially since Smithers had to help him write a love poem once when his writing abilities seemed to have failed him. At least Burns turned Lindsey down, but by the looks of it, this likely isn't the last they will see of her!**

**Till next time. Best wishes to all!**


	37. Exclusively

**Chapter thirty-seven: Exclusively**

After several days of stolen glances, random kisses in deserted corridors and several amorous liaisons at the office and in various places around the mansion, Burns was beginning to miss the simple act of sharing his bed with someone like he had a couple of nights ago and Bobo just wasn't cutting it anymore. Sounds of hot, mid-summer wind rustled just outside his window, whirring hauntingly through the shadows of his lonely, darkened bedroom. The silence and solitude seemed to echo off the empty walls and through his bones as he watched the silky blue curtains sway in front of the stained glass.

At the end of the workday, Smithers hadn't brought up the prospect of wanting to sleep over and Burns wasn't about to beg him to either, so they were left at a standstill and it was fast becoming irritating. The younger man had even loitered by his bed a tad longer than usual, waiting wordlessly for an invitation, giving ample opportunity even, yet Burns clung stubbornly to his own fastidiously crazy, twisted logic that it would somehow make him seem too vulnerable and clingy, characteristics which seemed to veritably work for Smithers, but such behavior was simply unacceptable and unbecoming of himself. tenasuiously

He had happily and unceremoniously turned his back to his assistant, scrunched up nice and snug beneath his covers and fell into the blissful state of slumber without a care in the world. To say that he had underestimated his need for companionship would be an understatement.

It wasn't until several hours later, when he'd woken up to such desolation, that the regret of his own stubbornness began to sink in. He wasn't accustomed to needing someone like this and it was still a bit alarming that so much of his time and his thoughts now centered on his assistant, or perhaps more accurately, his lover as that's what he'd come to accept him as now. Even the notion of thinking of Smithers as more than an assistant, more than a friend really, was still mind boggling.

What would he be doing right now? Was he already asleep? What possibly went on during the time that his assistant was away living his own life? However ridiculous he knew the notion sounded, it felt almost like whenever he went home, he ceased to exist until the next time Burns needed him again.

The clock by his bed indicated that it was well past midnight; two minutes before 1am to be precise and as he lay in his bed, watching the wistful, windy shadows of the night move across his window, an idea began to form. He sat up, flipped on the lamp next to his bed and pulled open the drawer of his bedside table, rummaging around until he found what he was looking for: the cell phone Smithers had given him months ago.

He didn't feel like leaving the comfortably warm haven of his bed to get the land line, so he opted for the more convenient route. He warily eyed the unfamiliar contraption within his grasp, running his fingers along it's sleek, black, minimalistic frame. It was nothing like his old phone, the familiar graceful curves of rich, white porcelain etched with delicate red roses. He felt overcome by the same strange feeling as when he had Smithers pressed against him for the first time, the unusually odd, yet pleasing feel of something new and certainly more masculine beneath his fingertips. It was new territory and he found it difficult knowing just where to start.

It was mostly all screen and there weren't many buttons on the thing which was disorienting. There was one lard button beneath the screen that didn't seem to do anything, but after a while he somehow managed to power the phone on and was greeted by the apple icon. Now that that hurdle was past, he had to figure out how to call Smithers or even what he was going to say to the man and he certainly wouldn't lower himself as much as to gush about how lonely and needy he was. No, he had to handle this with dignity and tact.

After much frustration, he had managed to get Smithers' name on there and found himself staring at a keyboard. So this must be how you send a text. Burns tapped the keys, proud of himself that he'd actually worked this out on his own.

_-Smithers I need_

He stopped typing, noticing that the words he'd been typing were now gone since he'd accidentally pressed send before he'd finished his message.

"Damn this ill-conceived contraption!" Burns spat with contempt as he tried to restrain himself from throwing it. "Why don't they just put a rotary dial on the thing?" He was about to give up and settle into his lonely bed for the night when the phone chimed and a message flashed across the screen with the name 'Waylon' above it causing his heart to skip a beat.

_**Wayon**_

_-You text? Is this really you Monty? Are you ok?_

_Close Reply_

The reply button glared at him contemptuously, daring him to respond, yet he had no clue what he wanted to say or how to convey it. Just seeing Waylon's name on the phone had curiously provoked such a rush of delightful panic, sending his restless heart all aflutter. After much stalling, he tapped reply which conversely took him to another screen, not the keyboard as he was expecting. His frustration grew as he knew Smithers was likely waiting for a response. He knew that he couldn't type fast so every second that he dawdled through the various menus was nerve wracking. Burns sighed, disappointed in himself and his ineptitude with modern technology.

Smithers would just have to wallow in confusion because he was simply too frustrated to continue, so he dropped the phone back into the drawer and switched off the light, then he curled back beneath the sheets and resigned himself to the familiar solitude and to the emptiness beside him. He could handle another night alone just as he had for years; he wasn't that desperate for companionship.

He heard the phone chime again, but chose to ignore it, gripping the sheets tighter around himself. Soon after, he heard the familiar melodic ring of his trusty old rotary phone. He let it ring several times, debating whether or not to answer, knowing full well that Smithers was probably panicking on the other end. That fact made him get up and pick up the phone.

"Smithers I'm fine." Burns answered immediately upon putting the receiver to his ear. It was satisfying actually being able to verbalize his intent, a mode of communication he was familiar with.

"Oh thank heavens. I was worried sick!" Smithers blared excitably into the phone. "I thought maybe someone had cut the phone line and tried to break in! You don't know how relieved I am to hear your voice!"

"Yes, well... I didn't feel like getting out of bed so I thought the cell phone would be faster."

"You need me sir?" Smithers asked. Burns swallowed. Smithers had know idea just how poignant those words actually were in that precise moment on multiple levels.

"Not particularly, I just... I just wondered if..." he hesitated, unsure exactly how to voice himself. "Did you... remember to lock the doors last night?" Burns asked weakly.

"Uh, yeah. I did. Just like I always do." the suspicion in his voice was unmistakable; he wasn't buying it. "Mr. Burns what is it. I know something's up for you to call a one in the morning just for that." a pause, "You can tell me anything... anything at all." Burns tarried silently in the awkward moment.

"I couldn't sleep." Burns admitted.

"Oh. You... maybe need me to come over?" Smithers asked quietly. He could imagine the adorably flustered expression Smithers must be wearing right about now and it made his heart flutter all over again as he struggled to sequester his delight in this.

"Don't make a special trip or anything, but if you want to come over, then I certainly won't stop you." Burns words came out slightly more provocative and sexier than he had intended. He heard a sudden gasp and a sound as if Smithers had dropped his phone and a grin tugged the corner of his mouth. Smithers needed very little persuading.

"I'll be there in ten." and with those parting words, the phone clicked off abruptly. Burns laughed and sat the receiver back into its holder. Having Smithers at his beck and call was absolutely thrilling and he only wished he'd known it could be this way years ago. Of course Smithers had always jumped at a moment's notice whenever he was needed, but now it all seemed all the more exciting. Burns switched his lamp off and got back into his bed. He then placed a pillow behind his back as he leaned against the headboard and waited. It didn't take long before he heard Smithers shuffling about downstairs, then up the steps and finally cracking open his door. Light from the hallway illuminated from behind, revealing a black silhouette that was unmistakably Smithers. He heard the door cautiously click shut, the room darkening a degree.

"I came. Just like you wanted." Smithers breathing was ragged from his hurried pace, probably for a few other reasons as well.

"Apparently" Burns answered snarkily, rewarded by a smile that flashed across Smithers face as he stepped out from the veil of darkness and into the dim light of the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. Smithers' leg began to twitch nervously once the silence began to set in.

"Are you staying the night?" Burns asked.

"Do you want me to?" Smithers ventured, finally meeting his gaze.

"Yes." Burns stated firmly. It felt like some sort of turning point. Did this mean that Smithers would likely be sleeping over every night?

"Good. I couldn't sleep either." Smithers grinned, turning more towards him and leaning a little closer as his confidence slowly strengthened. "I really didn't want to leave earlier, but you didn't ask me to stay so-"

"You should have spoken up. I wouldn't have denied you." Burns spoke huskily. He leaned forward and drew Smithers closer, capturing his mouth in a kiss and feeling an eager moan humming against his lips.

"Is this what you wanted me here for?" Smithers stammered, still a bit dazed.

"I just didn't want to sleep alone, but now that you're here..." He leaned back in for another kiss, this time he was the one gasping, making little sounds as Smithers made quick work of opening buttons on Burns' shirt.

Soon, the two were bereft of all clothing, panting and desperately clinging to each other as they found themselves lost in the throws of passion, Smithers straddled above him, his back arched as Burns acclimated to this new and decidedly less strenuous position that he seemed to now favor as he watched Smithers moving above him in the dim moonlight cast from his window. His fingers gripped onto Smithers' legs, sliding up languidly and coming to rest on his hips, thoroughly enjoying the view before him. Burns reached for his lover's eager arousal and received a low rumbling groan of approval.

"I love you... Monty." Smithers panted, his voice deep and gravelly as he became completely lost.

"I know."

He struggled to keep Smithers in his grasp, give him pleasure as well, but it was proving difficult given the way Smithers was moving; however the younger man seemed to be enjoying himself anyway if his lustful sighs and other various vocalizations were any indication. It wasn't long before the two were spent and utterly exhausted. Smithers straightened his glasses, the light sheen of sweat glistening across his forehead as he collapsed next to Burns with a heavy sigh.

Once their breathing had leveled off, Smithers placed his glasses on the side table and pulled the covers over them and they settled into a comfortable position. Burns wrapped his arms around Smithers and curled up against him, reveling in the satisfied feeling of belonging with someone, no longer feeling the pangs of being so alone as he had earlier.

"Mmm Bobo..." Burns teased. Smithers laughed softly, pulling Burns' arms tighter around himself. After about a minute, Burns spoke again, uncertain if Smithers was even awake to hear him. "I love you too," Burns admitted softly, surprised at himself that he wasn't in the midst of passion or even completely drunk while making such an admission. "happy?"

"Very." Smithers answered.

**- o – o – o -**

It was Friday morning. Smithers sat at his desk, happily typing away in his office and finishing up some errands that Mr. Burns had given him. On his desk sat a couple of cinnamon pastries on a plate from the local bakery and a cup of freshly brewed tea prepared exactly to his preference: one sugar and just a smidgen of milk.

He had been greeted with such hospitality for the past few days, ever since he'd found that eloquently crafted, heartfelt poem in Burns office addressed to him. All of the special treatment and hoopla surrounding him certainly felt nice, but it was entirely unnecessary. He had always been there for Burns' convenience and, in all his humility, it felt odd having his boss fuss over him like this even if they were tangled in the midst of a heated romance.

The funniest part was that Burns never mentioned any of it. Not the tea and pastries, not the poetry nor the flowers left on his doorstep, none of it. No doubt Burns must have arranged for one of his workers to place everything for him since he never was one for doing his own footwork, but the sentiment was there none the less and it had him grinning like a kid in a candy store. He knew Mr. Burns had often afforded such luxuries on his girlfriends, but who would have guessed that Mr. Burns, the man with a heart supposedly made of ice, could be such a romantic with him?

He took a sip of tea as he stared up at the monitor and scanned over his nearly finished memo on energy-efficiency and how it would negitively effect their profits, satisfied in the fact that Burns would approve of his hard work. He slouched over his desk, resting an elbow on it's wooden surface, his head propped on one hand. His fingers absentmindedly brushed across the blue, furry fringe framing his computer monitor and he sighed wistfully. Burns words from the previous night were on constant replay.

_'I love you too... happy?'_

All too soon his attention was averted as the door opened and Stella came waltzing through, without knocking first of course. She sat down on the edge of his desk, crossing her legs and simply stared at him. Smithers, still slouching over his desk and resting his head on his hand, looked up at her questioningly.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothin'." She answered unenthusiastically.

"Did you come just to gawk at me?"

"Yeah. I love a man in glasses." she quipped, laughing softly. The veneer of joviality she projected obviously hiding something as her whole demeanor seemed more melancholic than usual. On someone normally so hyper-active and gauche it was quite noticeable and a bit disorienting.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Maybe." she answered. he opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted, asking the same question he was just about to ask."Is everything alright? I haven't talked to you, or even seen you much in the last couple of days. Been busy?"

"Oh, yeah. Mr. Burns is keeping me quite busy." he laughed, sitting up a little straighter in his desk chair. "He's a real handful."

"I can imagine. I'm happy for you." she smiled sadly. Lately he had been neglecting his friends, the few that he still had, without really noticing it. Everyone had taken a back seat to Monty and even his out-doorsy hiking buddies that he used to hang out with were probably wondering what was going on with him. He shook those thought off for the moment.

"You'll never guess what I received from Monty last night around one in the morning." Smithers grinned, knowing just how suggestive his wording had sounded when really he was only referring to the text message. Certainly she'd have some witty way of twisting some sort of crass humor out of it; that should cheer her up.

"Hmm... what?" Stella asked, distracted. Smithers wasn't fooled something was obviously on her mind. "Okay. What is it?" he stated flatly. "I know something's bothering you so out with it."

"Well, I don't really want to talk about it." Stella whined in her distinctively northern... perhaps Bronx accent, though he wasn't quite good at deciphering regional dialect as his own was quite bland, standard, middle-American. She picked up one of his pastries and took a generous bite out of it which he chose to ignore for the moment. "It's just... why to I always have fall for the gay ones?" Stella mumbled, her words muffled with food.

Smithers stretched his legs beneath his desk and shifted in his seat uncomfortably as he eyed the way she was sitting in front of him, legs crossed, shaking her foot with a slow rhythm. He was no expert at heterosexual flirting, but is that what she was doing? She wasn't looking at him, but down at the crumbs on her skirt, picking them off and indiscreetly putting them into her mouth. No she couldn't be flirting, but he must have been still gawking at her because when she looked up at him her eyes grew wide.

"Stella. You and I were never... I mean I like you and all, but-" Smithers stammered.

"I know, I didn't mean that! I just meant- every time... every damn time, I let myself fall for people that could never love me back. I've matched up everyone in my family, even my own widowed mother married my school guidance counselor because I brought them together." She laughed weakly, hopping down from his desk and brushing off her skirt. "Maybe love just isn't for me. I mean not everyone needs a relationship right?"

"No, not everyone," Smithers replied, "but you're different. You... being the cupid matchmaker that you are, you thrive on romance even if it's watching others live it. Look at me... if I can win the heart of Springfield's biggest womanizing Casanova then that means there's hope for anyone!" Smithers spoke, still a little flustered at talking about himself and Burns. Stella stood with her arms crossed pensively, looking as if she were in deep thought.

"Well, I think Carl seems like a nice guy." she said. "We met at a restaurant once and ate dinner together... or was it Lenny? I forget which. They're always together."

"Don't get too enthusiastic about either one of those two just yet." Smithers turned towards her in his chair, his hand near his mouth in a very hush-hush, gossipy way, "I don't want to out anyone, but once, I saw the two of them leaving the utility closet looking a bit red in the face and disheveled if you catch my drift." said Smithers, prompting them both to catch a case of the giggles. "Though I could be wrong." he added for good measure.

"Well there's always Moe and he's a great kisser." Stella added with a sigh as her laughter began to subside.

"Tell me about it." Smithers concurred. Stella's eyes grew enormously at this and Smithers winced at the timing of his statement. He honestly thought he'd told her about that one experimental kiss he shared with Moe on the steps of the courthouse.

"Smithers! Are you nearly done with those errands?" called Burns from the other room, interrupting their short-lived camaraderie. Smithers sighed with the relief that he seemed to have cheered her up somewhat. Stella picked up the newspaper on his desk, casually flipping through it as Smithers left the room and entered Burns' office. Burns was leaning against the edge of his desk with his arms crossed as if impatiently awaiting his arrival.

"I'm nearly done sir, I just have to check it over for accuracy..." Smithers softened his voice, letting his usual, all-business tone fall by the wayside as he continued, "and I must say... I really appreciate the sentiment."

"Sentiment?" Burns uncrossed his arms, shooting Smithers a questioning stare. Smithers stepped forward, almost effortlessly pulling the thin man into an embrace. Burns remained rigid in his arms for a moment before finally relaxing.

"The tea and pastries... everything." Smithers explained in a quiet, low voice near Burns' ear, causing the older man to shiver in his arms.

"Um... you're welcome?" Burns replied weakly, almost more as a question than a reply. It was really adorable that such small gestures of affection, a hug, a low whisper near his ear could melt that frigid heart so easily. What was even more adorable was the way that Mr. Burns continued to play innocent about all of the gifts and poetry.

"Oh, don't feign ignorance sir, I always knew you were a romantic at heart." Smithers laughed, still holding him close, slightly tighter now. Burns lightly stroked his back as if unsure what to do with his hands.

"W-whatever you say... but what is she doing here?" Burns asked. Smithers didn't have to turn around to know who he was referring to.

"Oh, don't mind me, I'm just looking through the classifieds... still looking for an apartment." said Stella.

"During work hours?" Burns asked, irritated and still trapped within Smithers' arms.

"Jeez, hold on, it'll only take a second!" the raven-haired woman whined, "Every time I find a place, someone always beats me too it. Besides, I'm desperate to move out of Lindsey's."

Smithers felt Burns tense at the name and took that as an opportunity to finally brake away from the embrace and give him a little distance as he prepared for the scolding that Stella would likely receive.

"Really? You still live at her place? Does she ever mention me?" Burns inquired.

"No, not so much anymore. She doesn't let me in on anything anymore like she used to. She says I'm a hindrance to her grand schemes and that I make too much noise and clutter, but between you and me, I act all annoying and hard to live with just because of how she treated you and Waylon."

"Monty. M-maybe you should j-just forget about her..." Smithers stammered, his voice wavering uncomfortably as old fears and jealousy reemerged, simmering just below the surface.

"Jealous?" Burns smirked sadistically. "It's alright Waylon. I'm just fishing for information, know thy enemy and all..." Burns winked, seeming genuinely pleased in Smithers' jealousy, but that reassuring wink did manage to assuage much of his concern. Burns turned back to Stella, "Now tell me, who does she pal around with these days.

"Well, there's her best friend Cookie Kwan," she began, counting them down on her fingers, "then there's Mayor Quimby, those two have struck up quite the friendship lately as well as Aristotle Ama... Amadost... Aeropostale?"

"Amadopolis." Burns corrected. His eyes grew intense with something that was unreadable, yet there was a slight gleam of excitement behind that stare, as if the game were on and he was up for a challenge. "So old Ari is in league with the devil too? And I always considered myself as one of Lucifer's henchmen."

"Actually," Stella began, "she hangs around with several of my friends too. Sid Lockhart and his sister Kendra, you danced with her at the banquet if I remember correctly. And Sid was the one..." she turned to address Smithers, "you remember Waylon? Right before the banquet in my bedroom when I caught the two of you together?" Smithers' heart sank. No. She was not about to open that can of worms. She couldn't! "The one you were making out with in my bedroom, remember?" she stated innocently. Smithers swallowed hard as a lump began to form in his throat.

"Um... that must have been someone else." he attempted to speak, but his voice cracked awkwardly. "I don't know anyone by that name."

"Come on, you remember. I walked in an caught you in your underwear making out with that young guy and threatened to hose you two down? You must have amnesia not to... remember that..." Stella grew silent, obviously realizing what she'd just revealed. Smithers eyes darted to Burns and his heart sank even more. The look of hurt and betrayal in those eyes was something he'd been unprepared for and it brought his world to a grinding halt. Burns looked away.

"A... young fellow?" Burns spoke steely, revealing no emotion. "Right before the banquet?"

Smithers swallowed nervously. He knew he had nothing to feel guilty about since it had all been a complete misunderstanding and totally unintentional on his part, but how could he even begin to explain?

"Oh no... NO!" Stella wailed. "Just... just kill me now. Seriously."

"It's okay Stell..." Smithers uttered.

"I'm sorry." she moped. "It was a misunderstanding really! Quite funny actually; tell him Waylon."

"C-can we just be alone a minute?" he touched her shoulder cordially, his eyes fixed on Burns. She left without another word, and it was like she'd suddenly taken all the air with her. He took a deep breath. Burns turned his back, pacing slowing as he often did when conflicted over something.

"You don't have to explain to me," Burns stopped in his tracks, still remaining remarkable unwavering and unreadable. "It's not like I'm a jealous wife... er husband... whatever. You have no obligation to me." Smithers' eyes grew wide with disbelief. No obligation? What did Burns even consider they were to one another for him to even make such a statement?

"Are you kidding me?" Smithers held his hands out to his sides, palms up as he spoke to Burns' back. "I have every obligation to you! You're the love of my life and I have every obligation to you and you exclusively! I love you and I owe you the world!"

"You don't owe me anything. All the lovers of mine that you've put up with for so many years... you've stood by when all of them left." Burns turned his head slightly, acknowledging him. "So I suppose it's my turn to be a little jealous don't you think? Let's just call us even shall we?" Burns turned towards him, closing the distance between them and standing so close, so distracting.

"You see, that's the thing. That _Sid_ or whatever the hell his name is, he wasn't a lover. I only knew him barely five minutes before-"

"Shh. We're even." Burns silenced him with a kiss. Smithers had the feeling that Burns took more comfort in calling them even than he did. Maybe deep down Burns felt a little guilty even though he shouldn't. All those past loves were simply like thorns on the vines of love that had finally ensnared them together. Though, he couldn't deny what sweet revelry he took in having Burns actually jealous over him for a change.

"You were in your underwear when he kissed you? How did that happen exactly?" Burns asked after a moment. Smithers sighed exasperatedly, Burns was really enjoying torturing him a little too much.

"I was changing into my tux and he walked in on me... the sneaky bastard." Smithers retorted, his patience exhausted. "He was just a young, impressionable guy... wore a lot of black. I don't know what he saw in me but... he suddenly felt inspired to kiss me and that's when Stella walked in."

"You didn't have to go into that much detail. I believe you." Burns paused, after a moment adding, "I trust you." He looked nervous to even admit that, even more than actually saying _'I love you.'_ For someone like himself, trust wasn't something that was easily given.

"Really? That means a lot! I'm so relieved to hear you say that." Smithers said, affectionately gliding his hand down Burns' arm.

"So it's settled then." Burns steepled his fingers together as if he were about set up a business proposition, "We must set up some ground rules just to be clear. The relationship will remain exclusive... if those terms are acceptable for you that is..."

It took him a moment to register what was being said to him. For once, Burns wasn't being vague and wasn't mincing words and his heart was playing a symphony at that prospect. Burns wanted him and only him and he had to make sure there was no room for doubt before he got his hopes up.

"You mean as in, no more girlfriends... or boyfriends honing in, vying for your... or my affections? If that's what you want then I'm sure you already know my reaction!" Smtihers was positively beaming.

"Fine. Wear this then."

"Wha- wait WHAT? What the hell is that?" Smithers exclaimed and he felt something cold and metallic being forced into his palm.

"Shut up! It's not what you think! I'm not asking for..." Burns hesitated... a tense, uncomfortable expression crossing his features. Smithers pulse was running rampant as he viewed the golden band with its intricate, silvery Celtic pattern that Burns had forcefully pressed into his hand. Probably pure gold and platinum no less. Burns scratched his neck as a deep crimson hue began to color his cheeks.

"Don't look at me like that! It's not a damn wedding ring, it's just... it means you're taken. Off the market. I don't want any young, teen-aged hooligans or anyone else honing in on what is mine and if they see this then..."

Smithers fought the tears that threatened to fall as he tried to swallowed down his emotions. He didn't care if it wasn't an engagement, all he cared about was that he didn't have to share Burns anymore. No more staying up late at night worrying that some gold-digger was trying to rob him blind or steal his heart away and break it all over again. That is, if Burns was willing to keep his end of the exclusivity.

"But what does this mean for you? Are you going to be exclusive as well?" Smithers asked. He was a little afraid of the response he would get as Burns' affinity for the opposite sex was legendary.

"Of course." Burns flashed his hand towards Smithers, wiggling his fingers until a gleam of light caught his eye. Burns was wearing a similar peice of gold around his finger. Burns took a few steps back and childishly hopped up to sit on his desk.

"Your powers of observation are quite lacking Smithers. I've been wearing it for days. Seriously, could you possibly be that blind?" he scoffed, in a tone of what appeared to be mock-annoyance. "Though, you can't stop a man from flirting or sneaking a peek at the ladies every now and then. It's in my blood after all. Besides, the limits of my sexual prowess are already tested with your insatiability.

"Fair enough." Smithers grinned.

"Now as much as I'd love to stand around all day shuckin' corn with you women folk, I must be getting back to work. I have a staff meeting to get to and you have to supervise... er something I believe?"

"Right." Smithers took a step forward, placing his hands on either side of the desk where Burns was sitting, trapping him just as he was about to leave and capturing his lips in one long kiss that would have to last him for the next couple of hours until lunch break. His voice hummed in his throat as the kiss grew more passionate, knowing that he had to break away before it went too far. He finally pulled away leaving Burns leaning back over his desk looking completely disheveled and breathless.

"See you at lunch." Smithers flashed him a quick smile, quite pleased at seeing the state he'd left Monty Burns in as he left to fulfill his duties as senior executive supervisor.

**- o - o - o -**

Unbeknownst to Smithers, Mr. Burns had been keeping a keen eye on him ever since giving him that blasted ring and now he was feeling slightly regretful. Not that he didn't mean what it stood for and he certainly wasn't ashamed of his feelings anymore, but for the fact that it might cause more of a ruckus for him and his assistant than they really needed right then.

He sat his chair in front of his huge wall of security screens and watched as Smithers seemed to have garnered quite a bit of attention from what he assumed must be hecklers. After learning that most of Springfield already suspected his assistant's homosexual inklings years before he did, he was a little weary of what everyone would think. He was even becoming a bit more protective over his assistant, much like the way he felt when Smithers was a kid and had come to his mansion after school with stories of bullies, teasing and with the bruises to prove it. Though, most of it had been childish schoolyard fights, probably not directly related to sexual orientation.

He still remembered with much horror and great trepidation how things had been in the old days and how people like Smithers were often treated. Many ostracized and ridiculed, some brutalized, but nearly always the butt of everyone's jokes at the very least. Of course, this was no school yard and things had greatly improved over the years in respect to people's attitudes over homosexuality, but Burns didn't want to chance it. He continued to watch the monitor screen like a hawk for the first sign of distress. He might not have been able to protect Smithers much during his childhood, but he certainly had it in his power to do so now.

Smithers seemed to have quite the audience now and he cursed the camera for not allowing him to listen in on what they were actually saying. Unable to take the pressure of not knowing anymore, he quickly left his seat and prepared to confront the potential hecklers that seemed to be causing problems for his assistant.

* * *

**A.N. - Sorry for the long wait again. I know it is frustrating to have to wait such a long time for new chapters to the point where you forget what was going on and have to catch up, but I do think the writing bug has returned and I hope it stays to inspire me. I got a lot of great advice from some wonderful people on Deviant Art that got me through a bout of writer's block and I'm very grateful for that. Burns struggling with text messaging was similar to my own struggles at texting the first time and keeping up with modern times. Luckily I'm a quick learner once I get started. XD**

**I thought this would be the last chapter, but I couldn't fit it all in here and I must let the story unfold at it's own pace. This thing was quickly surpassing 7000 words so I split it into smaller, more manageable chapters. I'll post the next part as soon as it's finished in a couple of days, not weeks this time. xD Thanks for all that are following along and for the reviews, I read them all and appreciate every last one. Much love to you all!**

**Up next: Burns goes to confront Smithers' supposed 'hecklers' only to discover that he may have read a little more into the situation than what had really occurred. More progress on Baines and Wallace ahead as the vampire apprentice graduates to full-fledged vampire and develops his own version of bloodlust.**


	38. Nuclear Attraction

**Chapter 38: Nuclear Attraction**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Nuclear Attraction**

He couldn't have been happier leaving Burns' office just then, seeing him sitting there atop his desk, all disheveled and stunned after being thoroughly kissed. Even descending down the steps and into the utter chaos and lawlessness of the work floor couldn't possibly hamper his cheerful mood.

Someone had to be the bad guy if they were to get any work done and Smithers didn't really mind that part of his job since most of the workers rarely ever tried to relate to him anyway and he couldn't rightly blame them either as he was Burns' number one lackey, a senior executive and thus unapproachable.

However today, being in such high spirits, he felt a little more forgiving when he spotted the usual gang of trouble makers. Lenny and Carl were goofing off as usual, tossing a baseball over the delicate equipment and consoles while Homer sat in a chair at the sidelines, officiating and cheering them on with a box of donuts in his lap. Smithers always remembered their names more than the rest since they had the longest rap-sheet of all the slackers he wrote about in his employee evaluation database.

Lenny had just thrown the ball to Carl while Homer sat watching intently as he munched away and they were completely oblivious to his presence when Smithers sidled up to them, pulling on his best 'guy in charge' mask.

"And just what do you two think you are doing?" Smithers snapped abruptly. Suddenly all eyes darted to him and for a moment, he completely understood the rush of satisfaction that his boss must feel at having everyone jump at the mere sound of his voice. Carl had brief look of panic crossing his face, his hands still in the air as he'd thrown the ball back to Lenny.

"Ow! My eye!" Lenny cried as the ball hit him square in the eye from the misguided shot. Smithers gave Carl a stern look; he'd always considered him the most mature of the bunch.

"And Mr. Simpson, you're supposed to be in the safety control room! Who's even watching the monitors?" He turned back to Carl before Homer could even respond. "Mr. Carlton, given your recent promotion to supervisor, I'm surprised that and you not only condone, but actively participate in such incendiary behavior!" Smithers yelled, knowing full well that none of this should even surprise him anymore.

"Do you all even think?" Smithers stared back at them as if they were the most stupid lot he'd ever had the misfortune of speaking to, their expressions totally vacant as if none of his words were even sinking in. He sighed and scratched his forehead with irritation. "Look, I know you guys get bored easily so just cut it out okay?"

"You mean that's it?" Lenny asked in disbelief, "No threats of bodily harm? No lectures about goofing off during work hours?" Smithers laughed softly.

"What can I say? You've caught me in a good mood." Smithers leaned closer to Lenny, patting him heartily on the shoulder, "But, don't push your luck Mr. Lenford."

"Someone's having a good day." Carl remarked as he placed the baseball down onto the table next to one of the computer terminals.

"Actually, my day has been going rather splendid for the most part..." he paused, "just having a hard time with dealing with the usual rabble-rousers." Smithers replied sarcastically, chuckling at how Burns-like that sounded. He wasn't sure what had come over him since he rarely broke bread with the common folk. Even pleasantries such as small talk seemed a little disconcerting and he certainly didn't want to risk the reputation of authority he'd worked so hard to cultivate by seeming too approachable. He fiddled with the ring on his finger absentmindedly, unknowingly bringing attention to the gold and silver band.

"Say, I don't remember you wearing a ring like that before." Carl mentioned, gawking at his hand, "It's nice to see you've finally gotten over Mr. Burns and moved on then." he added.

"W-what... what? Oh this?" Smithers muttered meekly. What should he say? Dozens of excuses flashed through his mind, unable to settle on any suitable response to the line of questioning. So the speculation hadn't begun stewing over the nature of his and Burns relationship yet? He would have thought, after seeing half of Springfield whooping and cheering when Burns had bought him at that bachelors auction, that some speculation had already set in and it would be no big deal if the truth suddenly slipped out in passing.

"Yeah. It was getting sort of pathetic watching you lust over a cranky old man who'd never shown the least bit interest in you." Homer stated rather bluntly between chews. Smithers stared blankly at him for a couple of seconds, in disbelief at his lac of tact and knowing that he might have been a slight bit hurt by such a remark had it still been true. Smithers clenched his fists at his sides.

"Well, just for the record..." Smithers started, his voice tinged with just a hint of anger. _Burns has shown interest in me and it just so happens that we're in the midst of a heated and passionate romance that you could never even fathom thank you very much._ He's wanted to say something to that effect, but refrained. It really wasn't worth the effort.

"So does this mean you've finally settled down or somethin'?" Carl questioned, his face positively beaming. Oh yes, he must be thrilled at the chance to taunt him since he'd always been the butt of their jokes and constant ribbing. "You gonna introduce us to the new hubby?" Carl nudged. He was unsure whether it was genuine interest in his life or just the guys trying to get a laugh at his expense.

"Wait? You mean you went and got married then? Is that even legal nowadays?" Lenny asked with what sounded like genuine curiosity. Before he could respond, Homer spoke up.

"I actually officiated several gay marriages myself after it was legalized here remember?" Homer stated in a matter-of-fact sort of way. Lenny seemed suddenly fascinated.

"Hey, Carl how come you and I never tied the knot then?" Lenny blurted out suddenly as if it were the simplest, most normal statement in the world. "We're together all the time anyway." he finished. Carl looked rather shiftily about the room.

"Don't be so stupid Len. We'd have to be in love first... and I'm not gay." Carl stated flatly, totally dismissing it.

"Oh." Lenny looked like all the air had been taken right out from beneath his sails as he hung his head and Smithers felt a small twinge of sympathy for the little nasally voiced misfit, seeing a bit of himself in him for the first time.

"But what about that kiss, you remember that one time? You can't tell me that it meant nothing!" Lenny whined. Carl quickly rushed to cover Lenny's mouth.

"-And you wonder why people think we're a couple with comments like that!" Carl stammered, his eyes wide as he kept his hand covered over Lenny's mouth. "He's... he's delirious! It was New Year's Eve... we were both a little smashed and Bart paid us to kiss each other... you know, stuff like that...it happens!" Carl hurried to explain quickly averting his eyes to the floor in embarrassment. Smithers was thankful that the focus was off of himself and for once the joke wasn't on him.

Homer watched on with amused interest at his two pals, most certainly he had expected something was going on between those for for a while, at least from Lenny's point of view. Carl seemed a little resistant. The close bond that Lenny and Carl shared seemed to be old news to anyone that knew them, but it seemed to be something that just wasn't normally acknowledged. He supposed it would be a little awkward trying to have a guys night out if two of them were obviously so smitten with each other. Seeing as they seemed to think of themselves as real 'manly men', such subjects were probably unthinkable and unapproachable.

"So Mr. Smithers? The ring?" Homer asked, turning the attention back to him.

"I... uh..." Smithers mumbled. "It's just... I'm in a committed relationship, that's all." Truth be told, he still wasn't sure how Burns felt about letting their secret out yet so he had to proceed with caution. Right about that moment, a certain loudmouthed brunette sauntered up to them, her sights set on Smithers as she wrapped her arms around him and planted a brief kiss on his cheek. Despite his fondness for her, it was still a little unsettling having someone invade his space so readily. She pulled back from the kiss and clung onto his arm affectionately.

"Ms. Shapiro please. This is highly unprofessional."

"Oh professional-prosmechinal. I wanted to kiss you so I did, is it really such a crime hon?" Stella laughed.

"Well..." he suddenly had the urge to warn her about all the ways her affectionate behavior could one day possibly be interpreted as sexual harassment, but before he could address the issue, he glanced around the room and noticed all the attention and gawking stares he and Stella were receiving. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, she's just a friend." Smithers irritably retorted, pulling out of her grasp and straightening his shirt. At that remark, most of the workers ceased gawking openly at them and went back about their business. It was then that the sudden ironic realization set in that revealing he was straight would be more of a shock to everyone than coming out as gay, the thought provoked a sudden chuckle of amusement.

"Well, whoever the guy is, he must be loaded judging by that ring." Homer remarked. He took a moment to ponder how Homer, of all people, would know anything about jewelry but was broken out of his moment of reflection by a sudden high pitched squeal of delight right next to his ear that was almost deafening.

"OMG!" Stella shrieked, enunciating each letter of the acronym and grabbing his arm into another death grip. "I can't believe Mr. Burns gave you that! When's the big day? I am so planning the whole thing for you and a honeymoon in Aruba to boot!" Stella gushed. "Wait... please tell me you didn't go off an get eloped without telling anyone! As incredibly romantic and spontaneous as that would have been, I would liked to have been there!" Smithers tried to pull away discreetly, but her grip was urgent and relentless.

"Jesus woman... would you climb down from the land of oz and rainbows? Even I'm not that glam-fabulous!" Smithers recoiled from her with nervous laughter. He just knew she would over-react about the whole thing. "-And no one's getting married. I guess Monty just got a little jealous and wanted to make sure I didn't stray from him. It's more symbolic really."

"Monty? So you guys are talking about Mr. Burns?" Carl gaped in shocked amusement. Smithers attention suddenly turned to all the faces that were once again staring at him, even people far away that were working seemed to stop and take notice.

"W-what?" It was all he could manage to say, mirroring their expression of shock.

"So you and Burns really are...?" Homer asked. Smithers suddenly felt as if all the air were sucked straight out of the room and he couldn't breath. He silently wished someone would just swoop in and save him from further interrogation. He still wasn't ready to talk openly about Mr. Burns to the world yet.

"Well... you weren't really supposed to be listening to that..." Smithers conceded with defeat. No point in denying anything as they would probably find out sooner or later. It was then that a certain someone did swoop in on the scene and it was the last person he'd wanted to see at that precise moment. His heart sank as Burns closed in on the gathering crowd of curious onlookers, stalking towards them like a hawk focused on it's prey. Finally, Mr. Burns came to a stop directly in front of him.

"Waylon, what is going on here?" Mr. Burns snarled, grabbing onto Smithers' arm forcefully. "Are these rabble-rousers heckling you?" Smithers laughed weakly, feeling so utterly exposed. Everyone knew and Burns was probably going to kill him now when he found out.

Burns' eyes darted from Carl to Lenny to countless faces on the work floor accusingly. If Smithers didn't know any better, he'd assume that Burns was fussing over him like a protective lover. The quiet whispers and muffled chatter coming from the crowd was almost deafening and Burns had a puzzled look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed with irritation. He was still completely oblivious to the events that had unfolded before his arrival. The ring matching Smithers' gleamed brightly next to his own as Burns held Smithers' wrist tightly, unknowing just how possessive he must look to everyone.

"I'm fine... sir." Smithers croaked.

"I didn't do it this time!" Stella broke in after a long and agonizing silence.

"Waylon, what's all this about?" Burns' grip tightened even more on his wrist as if to emphasize his urgency.

"So wait a minute..." Lenny broke in, "if Stella isn't engaged to Mr. Smithers then... he and Burns are?" Carl leaned in close to Lenny and spoke in a hushed tone.

"A little slow on the uptake there Len... That much has already been established." Carl said. Lenny cocked his head confusedly.

"What are you...what are they talking about?" Burns said, his eyes flitted to Smithers' in a panic as he finally released his hand. "What exactly did you tell them?"

"Don't worry about it Burnsie." Stella interjected. "I'm sure no one here has a problem with it. What you do in the bedroom... if you can manage anything, that is... it's your own business." Stella asserted, looking around the crowd and daring any of them to challenge them. Smithers winced at her poor choice of words.

"Smithers. In my office. Now." Burns yelled, grabbing him by the hand again. Smithers allowed himself to be led away, thankful to get out of the lime-light and away from all the stares and whispers.

"Sir, your office is the other way." Smithers mentioned upon seeing the staircase pass them by. Burns didn't reply, only proceeded to lead him down the corridors to what appeared to be the reactor core. _Certainly he wouldn't throw me into the depths of the core in anger would he? _Smithers wondered in a brief moment of panic.

"OUT!" Burns barked upon reaching the reactor. The operators in close vicinity quickly vacated the area, leaving them alone and standing directly overlooking the containment pool and the roughly six feet of crystal clear water that separated him from certain chemical death. Burns clenched a fist full of Smithers' shirt, glaring him in the eye with an intense stare.

"Oh god!" Smithers cried as he looked away and caught a glimpse of the translucent depths, his eyes drawn down deep into the blue glow at the bottom where the fuel rods shown bright and neon blue in their eerie, almost ghostly tomb. He knew Burns cared enough about him not to kill him, but the sudden moment of panic had briefly overridden and incapacitated all logical thought processes.

"What did you tell them?" Burns asked, his voice almost too calm as his hands clenching Smithers' shirt slackened. Calm enough to be even more frightening than if he had yelled.

"I didn't mean too... I just sort of... slipped out in conversation." Smithers scraped his shoe nervously across the cold, white concrete of the floor.

"Slipped out in conversation? How do you let something like that just... slip out?" Burns pressed on more urgently.

"I am so sorry, I swear! It's not as bad as you think really. Besides mild amusement, I really don't think anyone cares who you're in love with." said Smithers. Burns stared at him silently for a moment, eyes burning into his with such intensity that it was hard to maintain contact. Finally, Burns let go of him and turned his head away with an exasperated breath.

"No body cares? What about my colleagues?" Burns looked him in the eye again. "Do you know how hard it will be to fit in with the usual snobby, country-club bigots that I hang around with?" Burns turned away, hands clasped behind his back as he grumbled to himself. "I'll certainly be ostracized to some extent... have to go to a public golf course..."

"Well, if you're smart enough to know that they're homophobic bigots, then why do you care what they think of you? They aren't worthy of your presence." Smithers spoke with conviction as he stared at the back of Burns' head. Burns turned around abruptly in response.

"B-because... That's just how... That's how society works!" Burns hands outstretched to his sides, palms facing up as he yelled. "That's how I got where I am today by carving out a certain image of myself and living up to it!"

"Monty, there are many successful gay, bisexual and lesbian business-people... You don't have to fit a certain image just to be successful."

"Oh? Then name one." Burns spat. Smithers couldn't help but grin confidently that he'd done a bit of research in the area already.

"Ah... Well, Alan Turing for one. He was a brilliant English mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst and computer scientist! He's considered by many the father of the modern computer. The man was a true genius and a gay one at that!" Smithers exclaimed.

"Oh great example!" Burns sneered. "Wasn't he also chemically castrated for his homosexuality? Also died of cyanide poisoning if I remember correctly."

"I was hoping you wouldn't know that... Okay, bad example, but a brilliant man none-the-less." Smithers steepled his fingers just under his nose as he thought. "There's also Sam Adams, the 51st mayor of Portland Oregon, your beloved Tallulah Bankhead of old Hollywood, even Alexander the Great, I'm sure you heard of him, is widely excepted as gay. Are you telling me that they weren't successful?" Smithers asked, confident that Burns wouldn't be able to attest that.

"Oh god... not dear Tallulah!" Burns grabbed his chest as if that one had really come as a sharp blow. Smithers grinned as he stepped closer to Burns, knowing the man's fondness for the sultry, rebellious actress of yesteryear.

"Yes dear... Tallulah." Smithers smirked, pressing a hand to Burns' chest in victory.

"Fine. I suppose you've made your point. I'm not saying I don't admire them for their nonconformity, but they ran in different circles than myself. My more socially conservative pals might treat me differently if they were to get wind of this."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you then." Smithers withdrew his hand from Burns' chest and looked away. "Seriously, what do you want me to say? As much as I wish I could, I can't change the world for you and sometimes you just have to learn to put up with the hate and ignorance and move on. I've learned to deal with it and so can you."

Burns sighed, apparently at a loss for words. Smithers looked back at him and couldn't help but smile as he watched Burns expression softened as he stared distractedly at the pool. It was a genuine smile. The kind that crinkles into slight the crow's feet around the eyes and as soon as Burns locked eyes with him, the man's tentative expression softened even more, his tense brows loosening. Suddenly, he found himself becoming lost in those eyes. The very ones that struck terror in many hearts had the ability to make his heart flutter and do all sorts of somersaults in his chest.

"You know Smithers..." Burns began, his voice soft and full of wonder, eyes searching his, "you look absolutely breath-taking illuminated by nuclear light." he spoke almost breathlessly. Smithers had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach at Burns' unexpected, heartfelt complement. He was suddenly all too aware of just what Burns meant, noticing how the water shimmered from the pool casting ethereal, silver reflections that danced over his features. It really was quite breathtaking now that he mentioned it. Smithers closed his eyes as Burns' fingers reached out and ghosted over his cheek. He could feel Burns moving in closer and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Waylon." The words shuttered from his lips waveringly. "I've known it since that day I kissed you in the closet, feeling the tears on your face... It all took me by surprise."

"Funny... because I don't remember the precise moment I fell in love with you. Probably the moment I was conceived." Smithers laughed, his eyes beginning to mist over.

"That's enough of that Smithers." Burns smirked. "Quite enough sentiment for one day." Burns leaned towards him, hands lacing behind his lower back and pulling him close. His hands reached around grabbing a firm handful of Smithers' behind causing the younger man to gasp with surprise and unexpected desire. Burn kissed him again, only this time he mercilessly used Smithers' gasp as an excuse to explore deeper, tongue unapologetically mingling with his. Smithers let out a throaty whimper at the intrusion as Burns manhandled him like a limp doll, thin fingers pressing desperately into the small of his back and roaming up along his spine. It took all the will he could muster not to let his legs give way beneath him and it felt as if the room was growing suddenly hotter by the minute.

"Mmm..." Smithers groaned with a chained passion as he became like putty in the modern day, yet adorably classic, Casanova's embrace. Smithers wanted to stop, yet at the same time, his hormones told him that he wanted to take him right there in front of the reactor... the hell with public decency. Burns seemed to have a similar train of though, sharp hips thrusting forward into his and bringing out another low erotic moan from Smithers. The nagging voice of reason screamed out inside his head, but no matter how hard he tried to voice his dissent, he couldn't get out any more than a grunt or a desperate whimper as the lustful haze descended over him, rendering him speechless and quite breathless. Finally, miraculously finding the strength to resist Burns for a moment, Smithers pulled back, gasping for air.

"Not here sir..." he panted. "The workers are... just over there!" Burns took a moment to catch his breath, eyes darting around the room suspiciously with his arms still laced behind Smithers and holding him tight. The slight pink tinge on Burns' cheeks gave him such a youthful glow even more noticeable as the silver ripples of light reflecting from the pool continued to dance across him. Smithers once again stared back at him in complete awe.

"I'm not doing anything too conspicuous am I?" Burns smirked.

"And grabbing my ass in public and thoroughly ravishing me with kisses isn't conspicuous?" Smithers laughed. Burns shifted against him and Smithers struggled to stifle the moan that threatened to erupt. Desperately, he tried to will away the inevitable erection that was presenting itself at the most inopportune time and place for it. Those maddening hipbones jabbing into him was bad enough, but what came as a real surprise was the unexpected hardness that he felt matching his own.

"Seriously, I had no idea nuclear energy got you so... turned on? I thought it was just public pla- oh..." Smithers' words grew silent. So it appears Burns was dealing with a double whammy of having two kinks, public places and nuclear power, suddenly thrust at him all at once. Noticing his dilemma and the group of workers that would probably be lingering nearby, Burns took a deep breath and put a little distance between them before they became too far gone, his arms still loosely draped around Smithers.

"You know... I've been thinking." Burns began.

"Hm?"

"You know your lady friend Stella has been looking for a place to live." the words seemed rather playful and sing-songish as they rolled from Burns' lips. Smithers looked back at him curiously, wondering how they'd transitioned so fast from kissing and groping to talking about Stella.

"Yeah," Smithers breathed deeply, finally gaining a bit of control over his composure. "She mentions it constantly and I've been trying to help her out with the house hunting, but we've had no luck yet."

"I think I have a solution to her problem." Burns announced, his eye's looking off to a spot in the distance as if in deep consideration over something.

"Really?" he mused, amazed that Burns would actually be willing to help someone out without an ulterior motive.

"Yes, well I believe I've already found her a place... and you can begin packing whenever you're ready." Burns looked away slyly, a barely noticeable grin on his face.

"Me? But I'm not going to be moving..." Smithers was so utterly confused. What was Burns trying to say? He knew he must be missing something.

"Oh? Are you sure? Because if I recall, that apartment of yours has only one bedroom and that couch is incredibly uncomfortable to sleep on." Burns spoke playfully, lightly skimming his fingers across Smithers' jawline. "And I'm pretty sure you won't want to share a bed with her."

"Exactly! So there is no way that she is moving with me sir!" Smithers ranted desperately. "The place is too small and she's... well... as much as I like her, she's a little annoying."

"No. No Waylon my boy, you're not paying attention. You'll be moving into the manor... with me." Burns tilted Smithers' face to meet his, this time placing a brief and innocent kiss on his lips, one that brought his world to a screeching halt more than any other kiss before that. Had he just imagined it or had Burns really asked him to live with him? Burns pressed against him, nudging him out of his distraction and stared at him, waiting for a response.

All his life he'd dreamed of living at Burns' manor. When he was a kid, he had often spent entire summers there in one of the guest rooms, but never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined that Burns would really invite him to live there. He once again felt speechless and just stared at Burns, unable to shut his mouth for a moment.

"L-live with you?" Smithers stammered, his legs feeling suddenly weak again. His glasses began to mist over, so he took them off and wiped them with his shirt, a tear falling down and landing on his shoe.

"Oh good lord man... you aren't going to start crying again are you?" Burns let go of him and stood back a bit to give him his space.

"No." Smithers' voice cracked, his emotions betraying him as several more tears now fell freely down his face, not even trying to hide the tears of happiness anymore; Burns could laugh at him all he liked. He put his glasses back on and took a deep breath. Burns gave him a devious smirk and leaned close, whispering something so masterfully sinful in his ear that caused Smithers' face to suddenly grow a curious shade of deep crimson.

"Is... is that so? I'll be packed tonight then so we can test that theory." Smithers muttered hurriedly. It was the most unexpected turn of events that he could have imagined and Burns seemed genuinely happy to have settled into such domestic bliss. Who would have thought that Smithers' years of persistence and loyalty would actually pay off someday? He leaned in a gave Burns another brief kiss.

"Well, what do you say we head up to your office then? I don't want to waste a second longer dawdling around here when I could have you all to myself again. It's only been... what two hours since we were alone?" Smithers' voice remained remarkably calm despite current events.

"I was just thinking the same thing." Burns awarded him with a boyish grin before darting off ahead towards the corridor. "Last one there's a sissy." He called out behind him as he ran away, surprisingly agile for a man of his years.

"Hey! I resent that remark!" Smithers sighed before he shot off after him, knowing he would be unable to stop himself from throwing Burns down onto that red, plush sofa in his office when they got there until they were both exhausted and giggling like a group of rowdy school-boys.

**A.N. - This story has been quite the learning process for me and has distracted me from real life grief and has been like a friend through rough times. I also like to think it has helped me improve my skills in writing and even making fan art as well. I look forward to writing more of Burns' and Smithers' adventures in the future with the sequel and I'd like to thank all the friends I've met just from writing this fanfiction. I'll also be continuing Baines and Wallace's story and most likely posting them on my deviant art page. (I'm known by the same name there.)**

**So I won't say 'The End' as I hate the finality of the way it sounds. ****_I'm_**** quite sad to see it end... so I'll just say "Later!"**


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